Week of April 26, 2009
Dumbledore always played Beater in the annual faculty-Ministry Quidditch game, as it gave him an opportunity to lob Bludgers at certain members of the Wizengamot.
‘Harry, get behind me, we shall be taking my rofl-copter.’
Harry: ‘Well, I guess this hot shoulder is better than the cold shoulder you gave me in the last movie.’
Dumbledore: ‘If Harry can play the piano, then gosh darnit, I can surf!’
Harry (off-screen): ‘Sir, was my piano playing that bad? Did you really have to set fire to it?’
Dumbledore: Look at me, Harry! I’m going to fly into the sun!
Harry: Er, sir, Icarus already tried that and it didn’t do him any favors…
Dumbledore: Well, I’m not stupid, Harry! I’ll go at night!
I fell into a burning ring of fire.
I went down down down
And the flames went higher.
And it burns burns burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire.
Dumbledore poses in his promotional movie poster for Harry Potter Origins: Albus Dumbledore.
Dumbledore: ‘Shame you had to see me on a burning day…’
Harry: Professor, why did you stop firing at the Inferi? They’re coming closer! They’re going to get us! Do something!
Dumbledore: Sorry, Harry, I’ll work on that in a minute. First, I have to update my Twitter.
Announcer: ‘Next week, on World’s Most Dangerous Jobs, we visit vulcanologist Albus Dumbledore as he visits Mount Doom!’
Dumbledore: Give me the Horcrux, Tom!
Voldemort: Ok, ok. I’ve hidden the Horcrux in one of these 26 briefcases.
Dumbledore: Hmm… 4. I’m feeling 4.
Voldemort: Is it number 4? (The briefcase opens and it’s £5)
Dumbledore: Oh! It’s ok though, I’m just happy to be on T.V.
Many people enjoy burnt toast; no one enjoys burnt Dumbledore…
Dumbledore then decided he hated California and all of its uncontrollable wildfires.
Dumbledore: *Singing sofly* Give’em the old Razzle Dazzle. Razzle Dazzle’em. Show’em the first-rate sorcerer you are…
Dumbledore: *To self* Maybe if I disguise myself as Zeus and throw lightning bolts Voldemort will surrender.
Voldemort: Ahhh! It’s Zeus, Greek king of the gods! Everybody, run for your lives!