Week of November 8, 2009
Things were quite different at Hogwarts ever since Dumbledore made the professors deduct points using long division.
Snape: ‘Okay, carry the four…’
Bellatrix: *Whispers* Make the Unbreakable Vow!
Snape: May I suggest a compromise? How about I make the… *Alan Rickman pause* …Breakable Vow?
From the producers of ‘Jon & Kate Plus 8′, TLC presents: Bellatrix and Snape Plus an Ape.
Snape: They’re calling it a ‘flash-forward’?
Bellatrix: That’s what I heard.
Snape: Well, I didn’t have one…
Bellatrix: You kill Dumbledore.
Snape: *Makes expression in picture*
The new Snape waxwork was attracting all the wrong attention.
Bellatrix: C’mon, Severus, you know you want to…
Snape: Fine, but only one chili cheese dog. And don’t tell Minerva – she has me on this ‘salad diet’.
‘Oh, so Burger King’s double cheeseburgers are bigger than McDonald’s. We have to do something about that! Wormtail, get your french maid costume and three or four packs of lightbulbs.’
Bellatrix: ‘Wow, the Dark Lord was right… your skin is flawless.’
Severus: It was you? You killed Sirius Black?
The wedding was held two weeks later.
Snape: You’re not Lily.
Bella: I know, but wasn’t that love potion fun while it lasted?
Bellatrix: I’m sorry. I just don’t think your scar looks like a lightning bolt.
Snape: Oh, what do you know, anyway?
Snape: Three words. Breath. Mint. NOW.
Bellatrix: Is your patronus really a doe? *Snickers*