Week of December 13, 2009
Filch: ‘He stole my toupée!’
Snape: Draco, I told you we could not have matching suits.
Draco: But, Professor –
Snape: -Take him away!
Snape: ‘So you are the one who has hung tomatoes from the ceiling…’
Malfoy: Just wait ’til my father hears about this!
Snape: You mean the one in Azkaban?
Malfoy: I’ve got to come up with a new way to threaten people…
Snape: Mr. Malfoy, I just took one thousand points from Slytherin. My own house. Why the lack of reaction from you?
Draco: Sorry, Professor. Your hair looks much softer and much less greasy in this movie. It’s distracting.
Snape: I’ll get you, my pretty; and your little caretaker, too!
101 Things Not to Do on a First Date – #42
Snape: You idiot, I made the Unbreakable Vow!
*Everyone turns to Snape*
Harry: What did you say?
Snape: Uh, ‘I will trade the unshakable cow.’
Snape: ‘And now, ladies and gentlemen, I am told that Mr. Filch has a special treat for us; a ventriloquist act.
Snape: Throw him…. in the dungeons.
Malfoy: Umm… we live in the dungeons.
Snape: *@#%) did you have to ruin it?
Snape: ‘You are now kicked out of the Chinese lantern magical princess party. Take him away!’
Filch: I caught this boy sneaking around the corridors. He claims that he was invited to this party.
Draco: Fine, I was gatecrashing!
Snape: I’ll deal with this; thank you, Filch.
Filch: And, I don’t recall that Slughorn sent you an invitation either, Severus.
Malfoy: ‘Well, I would have been invited… but I’m not a know-it-all or a famous loser.’
Filch: ‘I’m sorry, Professor, it is true — you are an outfit repeater.’
Malfoy: Professer? I thought I was getting a detention?
Snape: Don’t distract me. I’m doing undetectable Occlumency on Filch to see if he ever got a girlfriend.
Snape: ‘Drop the attitude, Draco. You’re acting like Garfield on a Monday.’