Week of January 17, 2010
Hermione: What’s going on here?
Ginny: It’s an intervention.
Ron: Hermione, it’s been six months. It’s time to let go of the toothbrush.
Ron: Well, we could have built The Burrow out of flame-proof material, but by going with the ‘extremely flammable’ material, we saved a bundle!
Ginny: Besides, what are the chances of someone setting fire to a house in the middle of nowhere anyway?
Ginny: Hermione, we have to talk.
Ron: Hermione, you have a problem.
Hermione: What are you talking about?
Harry: Your reading takes up all of your time. We hardly see you anymore and you’re spending all your money on books.
Hermione: So? I’m a social reader. And I can quit whenever I want!
Ron: Hermione, listen to yourself!
Hermione: I don’t need an intervention!
Molly: Dear, we are only doing this because we love you!
Hermione: You know, Ron, sometimes I wish you weren’t so spineless and would ask me out already.
Ron: You? Me? You like… me?
Hermione: Oh, for the love of toothpaste, Ronald! *She kisses him*
Ginny: Hey, Harry. I’ve always thought you were attractive.
Harry: Really? I do, too, but about you. *They start kissing*
Molly: Ah, to be young and in love…
Harry: Hey, wait a second… *wakes up* Darn it!
Ron: Alright, what do you want, Hermione?
Hermione: Me? What are you talking about?
Ron: I got a letter to meet you here.
Hermione: I got the same letter from Harry…
Harry: I got a letter from Ginny…
Ginny: I got a letter from Ron…
Mrs. Weasley: Alright, alright, it was me! I… I had to call an intervention.
Hermione: An intervention? For what?
Molly: Well, I’m not saying I know anything about the future, but… well, here. I just wanted to give you all these baby-naming books I bought. Read through them and we’ll discuss what we’ve read tomorrow. All right, that’s all. Now, who wants eggs?
Molly: No one can leave the house! Everyone’s hand on our clock has been on Mortal Peril for a week!
Harry: Hang on. *Taps the clock and everyone’s hand moves to Fine and Dandy.*
Molly: Oh… Alright, then.
Ginny: ‘Tweed and jogging suits? The fashionably challenged, stay over there.’
Ron: That’s my toothbrush…
Hermione: I know.
Ginny: C’mon! I’m just a year younger than you guys – why can’t I join you on the search for the Horcruxes?
Molly: For the last time, Ginny dear, you’re only a supporting character. Now go clean your room.
Ron: Oh, yeah! We haven’t told Harry yet! Harry, Bill and Fleur Delacour —
Mrs. Weasley: –Are working together at Gringotts! *To Ron* Didn’t we decide that that announcement was going to wait until the next movie?
Mrs. Weasley: Alexandre Desplat is composing Deathly Hallows, Part 1. Your opinion?
Ron: I wish they chose a composer who has already worked on Potter.
Hermione: I think that this is fantastic news! I can’t wait to see what Alexandre comes up with!
Harry: I have no opinion at this point in time. Let’s see what he comes up with first.
Ginny: Eh. I hope John Williams comes back for Part 2.
Hermione: You realize that, with the Polyjuice Potion, Voldemort could be in disguise to get information from us.
Ron: My gosh, he could be anyone! He could even be me!
Everyone: *Stares at Ron*
Ron: ….He’s not, though…
They all noticed the vivid red in Hermione’s eyes; it was a dead giveaway that she’d been eating Muggles again.
If Harry and Ginny (points a and b) and Ron and Hermione (points c and d) are parallel and lovers, what is Mrs. Weasley (point e)?
a) A mother to b and c.
b) An overbearing vulture to a.
c) Going to go agro on Bellatrix in one more book.
D) Married to an under-appreciated crazy.
E) All of the above.
F) Snape kills Dumbledore.
Ron: Erm… why are we the only ones in pajamas?
Hermione: It’s called foreshadowing, Ronald!
Harry: Check out what I learned to do over the summer! *Belches loudly*
Ron: Ha ha! Man, that’s awesome!
Hermione: *Burps quietly* Oh, excuse me…
Ron: Hermione, that’s disgusting! You’re in my Mum’s house!
Harry: Yeah, not cool, Hermione!