Week of February 7, 2010
Hermione: Malfoy thinks he’s so great for getting a part in The Apparition!
Harry: Well, I’ll always have Equus: The Movie.
Hermione: And I’ll have my fashion career!
Ron: And I can, uh, ask Chris Columbus to cast me in Percy Jackson 2.
*Harry and Hermione look at him*
Ron: Well, I think he owes me one.
Harry: Aha! I knew it! Draco is a fan of Gothic-Bizantic art!
Draco: What a magnificent cobweb!
Malfoy: ‘Do you ever get the feeling that someone is watching you? …Potter, I’m asking you a question!’
Newest Sign in Borgin & Burkes Window: NOW SELLING TWILIGHT MEMORABILIA! BUY AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!
Draco: *Knocks on window* Hey, you! Your shop looks like a filthy, rat-infested garbage pit!
Shop Owner: Well, at least I’m not the one standing in dog poo.
Draco: *Makes expression in picture*
Harry: I seee you! You’re out!
Draco: Darn! Good game, Potter.
Harry: Yeah. Let’s play again on the Hogwarts Express.
Draco: Okay, buddy.
Malfoy: ‘You know I can see you guys…?’
Draco: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
Window: First of all, I’m a window – not a mirror. Second, you’re the fairest-skinned, but I don’t think that’s what you’re asking.
Draco: How about winning lottery numbers?
Window: We’re done here.
Draco: I will buy you, I must!
Hand in Window: Ah, but Draco, if you could buy me you would have done it already.
Draco: You don’t understand!
Hand in Window: I understand that you feel like you must buy me; but you really don’t. I can offer you guidance, and other pretty things to buy for you and your family.
Draco: But I’m already here – you’re in my power. I’m the one with the money – you’re at my mercy…
Hand in Window: Draco, you’re not that kind of person.
Draco: You don’t know what I’m capable of – you don’t know what I’ve bought!
Snape: *Walks into the store and buys the hand in the window* Did you want me to get you something, Draco?
-The Purple Hippo
Voldemort: Sorry, Draco, you can’t join the club.
Draco: But why?
Voldemort: *Points to the sign on the door which says, ‘No Malfoys.’*
Draco: But Father is a member.
Voldemort: It says ‘No MalfoySSS.’ We’re allowed one.
Malfoy knew Harry, Ron and Hermione were following him; but then he saw something that would fix all of his problems forever…
Ron: The secret to following someone without them knowing, Hermione, is to keep cool – and never panic.
Ron: *Puts his hand in the air and reveals himself* Okay, Draco, we were following you; we’re sorry! Please don’t hurt us!
Draco: *Thinking* That lamp would look so good in my dining room.
Harry: *Thinking* No way is Malfoy taking that to-die-for lamp. I saw that first.
Malfoy: This new store in the Wizarding World Theme Park is going to give children nightmares for weeks… maybe even some grown-ups, too. Even Potty Potter will be scared…
Harry: Do you think he knows we’re here – or does he just practice witty insults to me when he thinks no one is around?
Hermione: ‘Hey, Harry, I guess Draco took me literally when I said ”talk to the hand”…’