Week of March 1, 2010
Carol: ‘Yeah, he’ll fit in just fine…’
Hagrid: I think I’m in teh wrong movie… sorry ’bout that.
Hagrid: ‘Oh, no! I know that look and – whatever you’re thinking – I’m not doing it! Seriously, I mean it!’
‘I don’t care where you guys come from, I am NOT cleaning up your mess! You make the mess, you clean it up!’
Hagrid: Wow… that’s the last drink I’m ever havin’!
Hermione: *to Harry inside costume* It worked!
Carol: Look, buddy, you may be a real bigshot where you come from, but around here, we’re the only hairy lovable characters from childrens’ books. Got it, bub?
After years of searching, Hagrid finally found his fan club.
Wild Thing: ‘Hagrid, there is something we need to tell you. Once, a young boy named Max came from across the sea and he became our king. Then one day, after a wild rumpus, he left to go back to where he had come from. And, well… nine months later, I had you…’
‘No, Hagrid, we live in the other enchanted forest…’
Hagrid: ‘Welcome, Harry, to the land of seriously misunderstood creatures. Nice crown, by the way.’
The night Hagrid wore his moleskin coat and made mischief of one kind and another, Dumbledore called him ‘wild thing!’ and Hagrid said, ‘I’ll eat you up!’ so he was sent to bed without eating anything.
Hagrid: I’m sorry, guys, but you didn’t quite make the cut. Maybe next year!
Creatures: But, Hagrid, please! We have no purpose!
Hagrid: I’m sorry, you just aren’t dangerous enough for my Care of Magical Creatures lessons… and that’s that.
Hagrid: ‘Errr…. wellll… I suppose if the club is only for large, hairy creatures of mixed or questionable parentage…. then I’m in!’
Hagrid: In today’s Care of Magical Creatures class, we’ll be learning about ‘wild things.’ Now, who wants to put on the wolf suit?
*Everyone but Harry backs away*
Hagrid: Well done, Harry, well done.
Hagrid’s Dad: We’ll miss you, son.
Hagrid’s Mom: Make sure you write every day, and always wear fresh underwear!
Harry, Ron and Hermione: *Giggle*
Hagrid: Moooom! You’re embarrassing me in front of my friends!
Hagrid: ‘The position has been filled.’
Hagrid: ‘These aren’t the creatures I ordered…’
Hagrid knew he was in over his head when his new friends started talking about the wild rumpus.
Large Horned Thing: Bonjour Monsieur! My French… (how you say?) Stud-aunts need a place to stay. You help us?
Hagrid: *Smacks himself in the head* I should’a listened to ‘Arry when ‘e said Olympe was ‘iding something!
Hagrid: *Behind large horned thing* I told you, internet dating never works out!
Max: Don’t worry, they won’t bite. Anyway, aren’t you a fearless, possibly senseless half-giant who loves dangerous beasts any way?
Hagrid: No, that’s just a gig. I really can’t stand animals… especially when they are as tall and hairy as I am….
Hagrid: ‘Buckbeak, I said you could bring one friend over for dinner!
Hagrid: Hello, brethren! I have returned to you! And, I’d like a hug! *Outspread arms*
Everyone Else: …
Carol: Normally we would eat strangers, but… you’re so big like us. Here; you are now our king.
Hagrid: Uh.. I’m actually here to find Harry Potter. Have you guys seen a young boy with a scar on his forehead and who wears glasses?
Carol: Uh…. did he taste like peppermint?
Hagrid: ‘This is going to be the best World’s Greatest Shave For a Cure ever!’
Hagrid: ‘Destination, Determination, Decomposition – wasn’t it?’
Hagrid meets his other half-brothers for the first time.
Hagrid: ‘Mum has so much explaining to do…’