Week of July 14, 2013
Hermione: No one here…
Harry: And the bed is bouncy…
Both: LET’S JUMP!
Lockhart: Guess who finally got his memory back! Hey, where is everyone?
Harry: Hermione… don’t… move… a muscle.
Harry: Wow. That new Blu-Ray player we got really does make a difference.
Hermione: Yeah, it does…
Hermione: *Thinking* Is he gone? Please say he’s gone. I’m sick of chasing after Horcruxes… I just want to go home and sleep.
Hermione: Dang. He’s still here!
Hermione: Nope, it was just a cat… again.
Harry: What kind of haunted house is this?! Every time we hear a creepy noise, it turns out to be yet another cat! How many cats are there in this place?!
‘OH MY GOD, MOONY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO PADFOOT!?’
Hermione: That ghoul in the attic sure made a mess of Ron’s room.
Harry: No, this is what it usually looks like.
Nagini: If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Hagrid never told you what happened to your mother.
Harry: He told me enough! He told me Voldemort killed her!
Nagini: No; I am your mother!
Harry: No! That’s not true! That’s impossible!
Nagini: Search your feelings, Harry, you know it to be true.
Hermione: Uh, excuse me. There’s one person here who can’t understand Parseltongue. What are you two talking about?
TV Announcer: ‘This week, on Magical Hoarders…’
Harry: *Whispers* Hermione, look at those shoes!
Harry: *Whispers* I know. Do you think we could get them without being seen?
Hermione: I have a confession to make, Harry. I’ve been writing crime novels under a male pseudonym for some time now.
Harry: Really? That’s very interesting.
Hermione: I’ve been pretty successful, too. My pen name is Raymond Chandler.
Harry: Do you hear anything?
Hermione: SSSSSsshut up!
Harry: Was that you or the snake?
Harry: I think there’s a Boggart under my bed.
Hermione: Just use a Riddikulus charm to expel it.
Harry: Just one problem; my wand is under there, too.
Hermione: Mine is in my trunk at school. Let’s just wait for Ron; he’s bound to come look for us.
Harry: Okay, good idea. We’ll just wait here.
Ron: *From downstairs* Harry, Hermione! Have you seen my wand? I think it’s rolled under the desk. I can’t find it anywhere.
Luna: Hello? Isn’t there anyone who wants to help me look for Crumple-Horned Snorkack tracks?
Harry: Oh, no – it’s the cuckoo’s calling!
Harry: Hermione, if I don’t make it out of this alive, tell Ginny I love her!
Hermione: Although I generally prefer not to think like that, all of the odds point to our dea-
Harry: Hermione, just tell the girl I love her!
Hermione: Don’t be rash, Harry, if you don’t make it, I won’t either.
BOOM. Nagini jumps at them.
Harry: Hermione? Are you seeing what I’m seeing?
Hermione: Yeah, but I’m finding it very hard to believe.
Harry: Well, it’s obviously right in front of us.
Hermione: Who knew that Voldemort and the Death Eaters were so good at doing the Macarena?
Hagrid: If I’m readin’ yer faces correctly, yeh want me to put my clothes back on… right?
Many are under the impression that Ron left Harry and Hermione. It is scarcely known that they were all just playing a game of Extreme Hide and Seek, when players Apparate and hide across the country. Ron was ‘it.’ Games can last for days, weeks, or months.
-The Impossible Girl
Harry: Do you really think hiding is the best idea?
Hermione: If you don’t like it, you can go down and tell them we don’t have any more copies of ‘The Cuckoo’s Calling’!