Week of July 28, 2013
Ron: You danced with Hermione?
Harry: Yeah, but it was some weird Muggle song about some Greek myth… not anything romantic… or remotely cheerful, for that.
Ron: This is gonna sound crazy, but I think that’s why Dumbledore left it to me, the Delumineator. I think he knew that somehow I’d need it to find my way back, and she’d lead me.
Harry: You mean he knew that you’d run off and abandon us in our darkest hour?
Ron: Yeah, but less negative-sounding.
‘I made this lamp for half the retail price, you know. All you need is a mason jar and a glue gun – I saw it on Pinterest.’
Harry: So, what have you been up to?
Ron: Well… I got my wand fixed… Ginny’s been a right pain for weeks… and I found this neat Muggle toy that Dad’s made off with and won’t give back. What about you?
Harry: Still expected to save the entire Wizarding world from Voldemort.
Ron: Oh… yeah… right. So, what are we having for supper?
Harry: So, what did you do while you were away?
Ron: Oh, eating, sleeping, putting a chastity belt on Ginny, playing Quidditch — you know, the usual.
Harry: Wait, what’s that about a chastity belt?
Harry: I told you so, Ron. You should have listened to me. You just can’t get a girl cheap jewelry!
Ron: Harry, if I listened to you, pigs would fly and hell would freeze over. Then where would we be? In a frozen hell of uncatchable bacon, that’s where!
‘Ron… I may have used your toothbrush.’
Ron: ‘I’ll let you in on a little secret. The real reason I came back was because I forgot my Chudley Cannons underwear.’
Ron: ‘When you say you and Hermione danced…’
Ron: ‘While I was away, I discovered this new show called Homeland. It’s really good. You should watch it sometime.’
Harry: It must’ve been awful to have no clue what was going on.
Ron: Ignorance is bliss, mate. I caught up with Lavender.
Ron: Yes. The answer is yes.
Harry: So, what do you want to do when we’re done hunting Horcruxes?
Harry: No, like in general. Long term; not just tonight.
Harry: Thank goodness you’re here, Ron. You’ve got to get me out of here!
Ron: What? But I came back here to rejoin you.
Harry: Hermione has gotten REALLY annoying! Please, Ron, take me back with you!
Ron: ‘Wizard law, Harry. Whatever goes on in the magically enlarged tent — stays in the magically enlarged tent.’
Harry: Ron, you know that scene the horcrux showed Hermione and me?
Ron: Yeah, mate. What about it?
Harry: I just want you to know that it only happened a few times, so don’t worry.
Harry: Your mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and they gave her an application.
Ron: Your mama was so ugly, when she did a handstand, no one could tell.
Ron: We had a big feast at the Burrow before I left to come back here. You guys still eating squirrels?
Ron: Good to know I made the right choice.
Harry: RON! Never scream in your sleep again! It freaked me out!
Ron: When YOU do it it’s some kind of special gift, but when I do it, it’s freaky?
-The Doctors’ Daughter
This week on Playing with Fire: Jar Edition
Rupert Grint: Dan, what made you decide to do a film where you have horns growing out of your head?
Daniel Radcliffe: I thought it’d be fun to appear the way religious fundamentalists already see me.