I’m completely confused right now. How can a bloke tell that he has feelings for a girl? Because I met this one girl and she annoys me so much because every time I look into her clear blue eyes, I can’t help myself from saying stupid things. She’s amazing. But she’s my friend. And I don’t want to ruin that friendship. What if she doesn’t like me back? Did I just say that I was worried because she may not have feelings for me? This is so weird! I just cannot stand in front of her and spill things out like “Hey R.W. (I need to keep her name as a secret), I think I may have feelings for you?”
Plus, her dad really really hates me. What am I gonna do?
Dear S. Malfoy,
The first part of your question is easy: If you feel wobbly and stupid ONLY when you are around this girl and still like being around her, you fancy her. If you feel wobbly and stupid ALL the time, then maybe you’re just wobbly and stupid. Someone in your position could do what I did and keep his feelings bottled up until he’s forced to acknowledge them because he might not survive the week. He could ask her friends if they can give any insight, but he’d better make sure they’re not girls because then they’ll just go back to her and laugh. Or he could have a nice chat over a cup of tea. But you might want to be careful with that, Malfoy, because her father could be a powerful Auror who knows all the tricks in the book, and has more connections than your dad ever did. But who am I to know that for sure?
Order of Merlin, First Class
Pilliwickle Distinguished Service Award
15 Years of Service, Dept. of Magical Law Enforcement