Guaranteed to send Voldemort after you instead!
- Choreograph an artistic dance interpretation of his life and struggle for power and then force him to watch it.
- Conduct a séance and pretend to channel the spirit of his mother.
- Tell him he’s been a “naughty boy.”
- Pretend to be the Sorting Hat and apologize – apparently you were wrong, and he was meant to be in Hufflepuff.
- Call him Ickle-Voldykins…and then run. Fast.
- Ask him to guess which hand the last Horcrux is in.
- …admonish him for cheating if he uses Legilimency.
- Tell him you know where Harry is hiding, and Apparate before providing further details.
- Dress up as Dumbledore and say you faked your own death.
- Start an argument about Harry Potter shipping.
- Tell him he’s adopted and that he’s really Hagrid’s other half-brother.
- Tell him Harry is his son and ask him if he’s sure he wants to go through with Book 7 now, since it’s become “soooo Star Wars.”
- Tell him one of his Death Eaters is actually a member of the Order using Polyjuice Potion – but refuse to tell him who it is.
- If he gets rid of some Death Eaters in the process of figuring this out, then all the better for Harry!
- Tell him that one of his enemies is plotting against him in the Forbidden Forest.
- Tell him all about your enemy/rival and how he’s nothing compared to them. Perhaps he’ll go after them rather than Harry.
- Tell him his plastic surgeon did a terrible job with the “red-eyed snake look,” and that he should’ve had the self confidence to age gracefully.
Submitted by: Angelika