36 Ways You Know You’ve Read Too Much Fan Fiction

Guaranteed to confuddle the least confuddleable

  1. You start shipping all of your friends.
  2. …you even ship some of them with inanimate objects.
  3. Now you even enjoy shipping the MuggleCast/PotterCast people (Johmerson, Bork, Jurrito, Bemma, Greg/Laura/Jamie, Memerson, Wartz, K’leric, etc.)
  4. You find a way to relate everything in literature to Harry Potter.
  5. You decide that Harry/Giant Squid would make a cute couple.
  6. You know for a fact that Voldemort actually enjoys being called Voldy.
  7. Jo and Voldy are on a first name basis.
  8. …and they have cute pet names.
  9. Sirius comes back as a ghost.
  10. …so does Cedric.
  11. Harry decides to live as a Muggle.
  12. You analyze the prophecy so much, you’ve given it new meaning.
  13. You refuse to admit that Remus is straight.
  14. …because he obviously isn’t!
  15. You’ve gone into such detail on Luna’s crazy theories that even you believe they’re real.
  16. Draco stopped calling Hermione a Mudblood.
  17. …and now they make a cute couple.
  18. Snape is actually nice to Hermione.
  19. …and they make a great couple.
  20. …and he’s nice to Harry, too.
  21. …and even Ron.
  22. You start saying things like, “That reminds me of this fan fic I read the other day!”
  23. You think the Marriage Law will actually come into effect in the book
  24. Sirius walks out from behind the veil.
  25. …and he never actually died. It was all a scam!
  26. You start confusing fan fic with the books. (Example: You were expecting Snape to be nice.)
  27. You’ve read Hermione/Dumbledore stories.
  28. You hear a song and say, “I have to write a fan fic about that!”
  29. You read a story that reminds you of a movie, so you watch the movie and it reminds you of a fan fiction, and you can’t remember which came first.
  30. Instead of writing a book report, you write a new fan fiction.
  31. You still think Harry and Hermione have a chance.
  32. You’ve read Fred/George stories before.
  33. …and you couldn’t sleep for a week.
  34. …you’ve also read Ginny/Ron.
  35. …and you almost threw up.
  36. It’s sometimes hard for you to remember who actually wrote the Harry Potter books.

Submitted by: Jackie, Lizzie, TF, Kevin and Diego

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  • Slytherin Smartie

    haha the 36 ways you know you’ve read too much fan fiction is totally me. :p (Don’t hate me but i actually like the Draco/Hermione pair)

    • Robyn Padmé

      Dramione is canon!

  • Yes to all 36! I would also add constantly forgetting what’s cannon and what’s fanon, like Remus is a chocoholic and he would do anything for a candy bar :), Severus drinks a lot when he’s sad… and happy, and angry and sentimental… bloody alcoholic; and that ‘TORMENTA’ – good people’s Cruciatus- is not a real spell from the books (unless that’s just me and it’s not relevant anymore – sorry, I’m old) & number 26 is soo true. I am not a fan of canon Snape but adore fanfiction Snape {and his CIS (Cynicism, Irony/Intelligence, Sarcasm)}

  • Robyn Padmé

    #37 when your on a Facebook group purely dedicated to Harry Potter fanfic, it’s taken over your life and your not even sad about it.

  • Tina Andersen