Week of December 15, 2013
‘I’m sorry, sir, but you cannot place a sibling in a Gringotts vault.’
‘You don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer friendship. You don’t even think to call me Goblin Overlord. Instead, you come into my bank on the day my daughter is to be married, and you ask me to do theivery, for a sword.’
Goblin in Back: ‘Did you think he (the goblin at the front) was real? I am a good ventriloquist.’
Head Goblin: ‘Oh, it looks like I ran out of cares to give, I’m sorry.’
Teller: Sorry, even you will have to wait until The Wizarding World of Harry Potter: Diagon Alley opens, in order to ride the Gringotts Bank coaster.
Dan Radcliffe: But… but… I AM Harry Potter!
Teller: Ah, Madam Lestrange. We will take you to your vault. But first, I will rap. You, behind me, give me some beat-boxing. I was filing when you came in. I took some papers to the bin. I-
Hermione: Can we have another goblin?
‘You plan on breaking out of Gringotts on the back of a dragon? Wearing that? Oh, Miss Lestrange! I never took you to be a comedian! Let me show you to your vault.’
Goblin: ‘I’m sorry to say, Mr. Potter, that your investments in spell derivatives, unplottable real estate, and Quidditch teams have not worked out as expected. In short, you’re broke and we will soon be foreclosing on 12 Grimmauld Place.’
‘Sorry, Miss Bellatrix, your key has been declined.’
‘Speaking as representatives of the Lollipop Guild, we deny all involvement with the recent Candy Cane riots.’
Teller: ‘You, stop! Don’t track mud in here!’
‘The disco ball behind me? Oh, no, that is for VIP guests only.’
Teller: ‘It’s not a chandelier behind me – I just had a good idea.’
‘I don’t care how short-staffed he is; we are not elves, and we are not interested in living at the North Pole.’
Goblin Bank Teller: Madam Lestrange, why are you carrying a copy of Hogwarts, a History?
Hermione: *As Bellatrix* Whoops, I knew I should have left this behind. I mean – wa-ha-ha-ha, I am so evil!
Harry and Ron: *Facepalm*
‘And, finally, after all this time, that is how I met your mother, kids.’