Week of January 12, 2014
Nosy fans were disappointed to see the level of security J.K. Rowling as using to protect her plans for the Harry Potter play.
Dragon: ‘Sorry about the chains. I stole them from a costume Lady Gaga was wearing.’
‘Hey, dragon, you don’t gotta do this. Let’s reevaluate our options, throw away our old presumptions…’
Goblin: ‘If you eat me now, I’ll never be able to turn you back into a handsome prince!’
‘This isn’t where I parked my car…’
Pillar Shippers: ‘They’re so close!’
-The Doctor’s Daughter
Goblin: ‘If you are going to fly away, please use the window behind you. Don’t go up through the bank…’
This week on ‘Cooking with Dragons’: Roast Goblin.
Actor: ‘Okay, now we’re going to put in the stunt double for when I get blasted away by the dragon, right? …RIGHT?’
‘Good morning. I’m here to talk to you about Cauldron Thickness Awareness Week.’
Goblin: O, great dragon. Please help me to decipher these symbols. Are they runes, hieroglyphs, cyphers?
Dragon: These are ancient Aztec instructions on how to take down Justin Bieber.
Goblin: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
Dragon: You shall not steal Gandalf’s line, you little hobbit.
Goblin: ‘Don’t kill me, please! I’ve got a wife and three children, granted they’re all really ugly…’
Goblin: Who are you?
Dragon: I am the ghost of movie past. I am here to tell you about why this vault is ridiculous. First the symbol on the floor you can see in the Neve Campbell movie ‘The Craft’, the door next to you with the skeleton on it is from the Liam Neeson movie ‘The Haunting’ and the guy sitting behind you is the boy from Insidious. I myself am the dragon from ‘The Never Ending Story’. I am here to make sure this is the only time people know these references.