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CC #375: Week of January 19, 2014

CC #375: Week of January 19, 2014

Week of January 19, 2014

Voldemort: And now, Harry… It is time for you to die. I have waited-
*Nokia ringtone*
Voldemort: Whose phone is that? You interrupted my dramatic speech!
-Nora

Voldemort could only watch as the super-termites devoured his house in seconds. He knew Dumbledore had won this round.
-Sam

‘Blast. Tickets are sold out to the Celine Dion concert.’
-Josh

Voldemort regretted buying tickets to the Miley Cyrus concert.
-Anna

Voldemort: ‘They’re destroying my Horcruxes! How could this happen when I worked so hard to choose objects of great significance to me and then hide them in meaningfully significant places?’
-Sam

‘If I did things during the day, I could get a tan and not be mocked when I holiday in Hawaii…’
-Josh

A sudden realization hit Voldemort. If he ran into a wall, he would break his entire face… not just a nose.
-Elsje

That was when Voldemort realized there was no escape for the wicked people like himself. The flood waters were rising, and Hermione was safe aboard Noah’s Ark.
-Sam

‘Oh, gosh, I killed that cat. Oh, no! Now they will retract my Greenpeace membership!’
-Josh

Harry: God, Voldy, stop being so nosy!
Voldemort: *Loss for words*
-Maddy E.

That was when Voldemort realized there were some things he just wouldn’t do for a Klondike bar.
-Sam

‘This is unthinkable. I’m not going anywhere without my Spongebob plush.’
-Josh

Voldemort: ‘Now remember, students, the key to becoming a great wizard is to keep your nose to the grindstone. Just… keep it there, until it has been completely worn off. Any questions?’
-Glen

Draco: ‘Okay, so I know we really care about blood-purity and all, but I’m really in love with this Muggle-born girl, see? So I was wondering if just this once you could… um, judging from your face, I’m getting the feeling that this was a really stupid thing to ask you…’
-Sam

‘I’m still not over the cancellation of Laguna Beach.
-Josh

And suddenly, it dawned on him. And repulsed him. Bellatrix had been FLIRTING…
-Elsje

Voldemort: Severus, I’m concerned that you’re not really on my side.
Snape: What makes you say that?
Voldemort: That ten-foot high poster of Lily Evans.
Snape: Oh, is that Lily? Ha, ha, I didn’t even notice. I thought it was just some cute redhead. Ha, ha, funny things happen, right?
Voldemort: Ha, ha, you’re fired.
-Sam

Voldemort: Death Eaters, you must go and destroy Hogwarts. They said I’m not allowed on Splash Mountain.
Bellatrix: That’s Disneyland.
Voldemort: Oops. Wrong castle.
-Josh

Voldemort: ‘You mean the prophecy could be about Neville? Just what I want my epitaph to read… Killed by a Longbottom.
-Biff

Voldemort: I can’t wait for the Diagon Alley Park to open! And after I’ve thoroughly explored it, I’ll check out the awesome Jaws ride!
Bellatrix: Um…
Lucius: You want to tell him, or should I?
-Sam

‘We must first take a roll call before the battle. As we have some ogres that don’t speak any human language, this will take hours… but if I know that everyone is here, I will be less stressed.’
-Josh

‘Wait! Is that a wig sale I see?!’
-Tania

Why was the picture of only Voldemort’s face? No body nose…
-Elsje

Voldemort: ‘What do you mean I’m not the fairest of them all?!’
-Biff

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