Week of January 26, 2014
Death Eater: Accio Harry Potter!
Harry: Hey! No cheating…
Snatcher 1: Nice neighborhood.
Snatcher 2: Yeah, it is. You should get a place here.
Snatcher 1: Alright. *Walks up to a house* Hi, I’m here from the bank. I’m afraid you have to leave.
‘Next, on When Silhouettes Attack…‘
The game of Death Eater Tag was getting intense.
Death Eater: ‘Is that Harry Potter? Do we have to chase him? It’s so cold… and look at all this snow! I forgot my scarf, and I don’t want to get sick. I’m just gonna go back inside…’
Death Eater: What are you doing here?
Harry: I just came to get a Hogsmeade postmark on some postcards…
Death Eater: Why didn’t you do that when the Islands of Adventure park was open?
Harry: Well, I bought the postcards here, but they don’t sell stamps, and they won’t postmark them without stamps…
Death Eater: So you thought you’d bypass the rules? Well let me tell you, those rules were specially designed by the Dark Lord himself to frustrate tourists, and I will not let you flout them. Adava Kedavra!
Snatcher 1: We’re off to see the wizard. The wonderful wizard of Oz.
Snatcher: We’re not seeing the wizard.
Snatcher 1: But we’re on the Yellow Brick Road.
Snatcher 2: It’s only yellow because of the light.
Snatcher 1: Don’t rob me of this moment.
Death Eater: Marco!
Harry and Ron: *In unison* Polo!
Hermione: You idiots! You just gave away our position! No wonder you weren’t sorted into Ravenclaw…
-The Impossible Girl
Death Eater 1: Randolph, I’ve just noticed something…
Death Eater 2: These blood-traitors are all cowards.
Death Eater 1: Have you looked at our tattoos recently?
Death Eater 2: Our tattoos?
Death Eater 1: The tattoos on our arms, have you looked at them?
Death Eater 2: What? No. A bit.
Death Eater 1: They’ve got skulls on them. Have you noticed that our tattoos have actually got little pictures of skulls on them?
Death Eater 2: Uh, I don’t…
Death Eater 1: Randolph… are we the baddies?
Playing Hide and Seek gets extreme when a player has an Invisibility Cloak…
-The Impossible Girl
‘Someone just Apparated in, and they landed square on my cat’s tail! When I find them, it’s nosebleed nougat for a week straight!’
Voldemort was running towards Carl, yelling louder than ever, even louder than when he touched Harry in the graveyard some years back. Not until then, did Carl realize that it was HIS Nokia that went off during Voldemort’s dramatic speech.
Newt Scamander: Look, I found a creature!
Man: Woooo, I’m pretending to be a creature!
Fans were disappointed by how low-budget the ‘Fantastic Beasts’ movie turned out to be.
Death Eater: ’47… 48… 49… 50! Ready or not, here I come! *Turns around* Ugh! Dolohov! You’re supposed to hide, you moron!’
‘Bloody polar vortex. We’ll never find them in this!’
Guy with Wand: Stop! Do you smell that?
Other Guy: Yeah. Smells like… a ginger!
‘There they are! Crucio! *Nothing happens* Crucio. *Nothing happens* Oh, wait. My wand is still on Safety Mode…’
Death Eater: Come out, and we’ll give you candy!
Ron: *Standing up* Did he say ‘candy’?
Harry and Hermione: *pull Ron back down*