483 ½ Wizolympics – Day 4 Update: Doxy Baiting Final Round

The 2014 Doxy Baiting games came to a close at 5 p.m. Sochi time, and miraculously there were still three players standing…

Finalists: Hilarion Panayotis (Greece), Mene Akilki (Egypt), Fay Quigley (UK). Opaline Plaskett (Canada), Spyridon Pasternak (Russia), and María Maravilla Vaca (Colombia) entered the final round not expecting to see our old favorite battler of dark creatures, Gilderoy Lockhart.

“He hasn’t been in his right mind for ages, but this kind of stuff cheers the bloke up,” said St. Mungo’s trainee healer Iason Marguering. “We’re hoping the games will stir his memory.”

If not his memories, the games certainly stirred something inside the once-celebrated wizard. As you’ve learned from correspondent Katherine Nott, this year’s games have the added challenge of Cornish pixies. Upon the pixies’ release into the arena, Lockhart broke away from his caretaker and chased them onto the field with arms open wide in what appeared to be an attempt to hug them.

“That’s the first time I’ve seen a Cornish pixie scared,” said Vancouver finalist, and only non-finalist in the Sochi games left standing, Erle Elwyn (Australia).

Lockhart, in his blind pursuit of the pixies, set off many explosive eggs and squashed hundreds of Doxy eggs. Hagrid, though banned from attending, burst through the arena and onto the playing field, where he tackled a startled Lockhart to the ground, taking finalists Opaline Plaskett (Canada) and Hilarion Panayotis (Greece) down with them. This set off another series of explosions. Five enraged Doxys, assumedly the parents of the squashed eggs, descended on Hagrid, whose body shielded the others.

“Thankfully, Hagrid’s half-giant. He took over thirty Doxy bites. That’d kill a man,” said Nerissa Proudfoot, also taken down by Hagrid earlier in the day, sustaining five broken bones.

Mediwizards on site asked for a pause in the games to collect the injured but were rebuffed by 2014 game-maker Panogopoulous, who stated, “The games must go on. They will survive.”

Apparently, two healers did not trust the game-maker’s assessment. They battled back officials and ran onto the field, stunning pixies and Doxys as they raced to Hagrid and the others.

“Two wizards cannot take on that many Cornish pixies,” commented American spectator Goldie Philpot. “Lucky it wasn’t the Doxys, though.”

Several Cornish pixies, amused by the extensive mayhem, decided it must not be ended. Grabbing hold of the mediwizards’ ears, they lifted them into the sky and flew them around the ring, singing  a high-pitched, shrill version of the Russian national anthem for the duration of the game.

When Mene Akilki (Egypt), attacked by pixies who pulled his undergarments up over his ears, dropped his basket of eggs and inadvertently stomped them into smithereens, the remaining ten mediwizards had no choice but to storm the field. Bringing along Doxycide and several doses of antidote, they retrieved Mene, who sustained seven bites. He had to be Apparated to the main mediwizard facility. Healers say it will be a week before he fully recovers.

After a full hour of explosions, bites, duels, and digging, three players remained – all with extensive burns. Fay Quigley, reigning gold medalist, had to be treated for three Doxy bites but returned to the field to finish out the game in grand form. The results are as follows:

Gold: María Maravilla Vaca (Colombia) – 333 points

Silver: Fay Quigley (UK) – 332 points

Bronze: Spyridon Pasternak (Russia) – 316 points

Congratulations to the winners. Another memorable Doxy Baiting games are in the books.

Live from the games,

Scribble Inkwell