483 ½ Wizolympics WWN SPECIAL REPORT: Ludo Bagman Leaves Russia

Unfortunately, today the Wizarding Wireless Network has had to announce that legendary Wimbourne Wasps and England captain Ludo Bagman will no longer be a part of our commentary team for these games following advice from his bank manager. The Quidditch legend had signed on to give insightful information as a co-commentator to our leading sports team, but unfortunately, we now understand that Bagman has got himself into a little, um, situation with the local betting syndicates in Russia.

Outside of his Quidditch days, Bagman was the head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports and was part of the team behind the 1994 Quidditch World Cup, famously marred by the appearance of the Dark Mark (which may not be a familiar phrase to some of our younger readers), also judging the following year’s Triwizard Tournament, which has since been discontinued due to the death of Hogwarts champion Cedric Diggory.

Even when he was found drunk and naked in the snow at 2 o’clock in the afternoon, we were optimistic that he would be able to maintain his dignity and aid Lee Jordan for the next two weeks due to the star’s enduring popularity, gaining much support from the wizarding community since his disappearance in June 1995 before re-emerging from Muggle gambling dens in Macau following the conclusion of Day 2.

In a recent interview, Bagman said that he was looking forward to working in the Wizolympics in Russia because “the people there have a lot of gold,” while similar wisecracks such as “thank God they don’t let goblins in here” and his frequent involvement in the office’s fantasy Olympic team will be “sorely” missed by the team. All of us here at the WWN wish Ludo the best of luck in the future as long as he finally gives us his share of the taxi travel into Sochi.

– Rohan Gotobed, WWN Correspondent