What to Buy Your Muggle for Christmas
As usual, it seems as though we blinked and the holiday season has come around once again. The seasons have melted away and left us with the lingering smell of spiced pastries and holiday cheer. Relations with Muggles continue to steadily improve as the wizarding community follows the lead of our Minister of Magic, Hermione Granger, so this year, we have taken the time to work in conjunction with longtime activist for wizard-Muggle relations Arthur Weasley to provide you all with some gift ideas for all of your Muggle friends this Christmas.
Arthur Weasley has described these to me as little bits of magic for Muggles that they use to make their “tecknology” run. From what I can understand, Muggles place them inside of an object to make it work, but since they have so many gadgets to replace magic, they need buckets and buckets of these batteries to make them all run. According to Mr. Weasley, batteries never go out of style.
Before writing this article, I seem to have underestimated just how difficult being a Muggle can be. The next item on the list is something called a vacuum cleaner, just one of the many items Muggles use in place of the Scouring Charm. This frightening-looking device sucks up all of the dirt from the floor, almost like a high-powered broom, and stores it inside either a bag or a plastic container, which the Muggle can later empty. The downside is the loud screaming sound it makes when they use it, which tends to frighten pets and small children.
A fellytone is a device Muggles use to call each other. Since they don’t have access to the Floo Network and their postal service is much slower than ours, Muggles are assigned their own fellytone number for other Muggles to use to reach them. In recent years, their fellytones have begun to advance rapidly, so Muggles are always wanting the latest and greatest version. From what I can gather, these fellytones now come in the shapes of apples or eyes, and some are decorated to look like outer space.
A flashlight is a hand-held device used by Muggles in the place of a Wand-Lighting Charm. A flashlight casts light for Muggles to travel after dark or to hunt around for something if they’re too lazy to turn on their actual light. Please note that a flashlight does require batteries, which are often not included.
Bonus: Rubber Ducks
A rubber duck is a classic bath-time companion for Muggles, dating all the way back to the late 19th century. From what we can gather, these happy, yellow ducks serve no function other than floating along among the bubbles, bringing joy to the lives of Muggles.
What gifts have you been giving your Muggles? We’d love to know!