April Fools 2008

APRIL FOOLS!!!
APRIL FOOLS!!! In case you didn't realize it by now, we decided to spend the day coming up with lots of fun news stories that could probably happen in the Wizarding World (Yes, including sex scandals, alcohol abuse, and steroid use). Thanks goes out to Emerson, Micah, and Matt for writing these stories.

Also, for all of you MuggleCast listeners, the announcement that we'd be putting Twilight, Lord of the Rings, and Narnia discussions into our show was a prank. We fooled lots of you, and we feel bad for those people who e-mailed us lengthly explanations for why it was a really good/bad idea. We'd NEVER bore you with those other books.

We hope you enjoyed all of the stories for this year's April Fools, not to mention Fred and George's birthday!
Posted by Andrew on Apr 1st | comments disabled | Link | Categories: April Fools 2008
WB announces animated Potter television series
WB announces animated Potter television series With Half-Blood Prince premiering this Fall and a two part Deathly Hallows film scheduled to be released by 2011, Warner Brothers has announced today that JK Rowling's upcoming Harry Potter Encyclopedia is in the works to become a possible three season animated series. Producer David Heyman noted, "We have one last opportunity to do Potter justice, and we are going to spend plenty of time on this one to make sure we leave this franchise satisfied. We chose animation to keep the Wizarding World just as limitless as in the books."

The WB publicity department was quick to note that this is not one last money making opportunity. Rather, the movie studio is very well aware that fans will not be ready to give up Potter once the second part of Deathly Hallows is released. "With that in mind," notes one publicist (name not given), "we want everyone to get a Potter filling for years to come."

While no details are official, insiders tell us the series will be a collage of scenes inspired by facts revealed in Rowling's Encyclopedia. Season 1 is slated to be released between late 2012 and early 2013.
Posted by Andrew on Apr 1st | comments disabled | Link | Categories: April Fools 2008
Ginny Weasley exposes steroid use in Quidditch
Ginny Weasley exposes steroid use in Quidditch
Posted by Emerson on Apr 1st | comments disabled | Link | Categories: April Fools 2008
Aberforth Dumbledore arrested for illegal goat trafficking
Aberforth Dumbledore arrested for illegal goat trafficking The younger brother of world-renowned wizard Albus Dumbledore was arrested this morning outside the Hog’s Head for his involvement in an underground illegal goat trafficking ring. Madam Rosmerta noticed an alarming number of goats walking limply around Hogsmeade one afternoon and decided to alert the Ministry.

It was later discovered that the goats who failed to show Aberforth considerable attention were fated to enter an outside pen, which served a holding area until they were taken underground at night and had various charms performed on them. The Ministry seized what looked to be plans for an undeground goat fighting league. A rather irritated Aberforth said it was his way of showing them "tough love" and the animals spoke to him in a way humans never could.
Posted by Micah on Apr 1st | comments disabled | Link | Categories: April Fools 2008
Shake ups in the Wizard Rock world
Shake ups in the Wizard Rock world On top of all of the news we've been bringing you today out of the wizarding world, it's time to highlight a big part of our fandom that looks to be crumbling apart quickly.

Several Wizard Rock bands have announced major changes to their bands. Here are a few of them:
- Harry and the Potters have announced they will be breaking up and releasing solo albums.
- The Remus Lupins have announced they will be changing to The Snapes. Additionally, Alex will no longer give hugs.
- The Whomping Willows, who is made up of solely one person (Matt), will be breaking up. No word yet on how one person splits up his own band, or a reunion.
- Draco and the Malfoys have announced that they are actually the Original Harry and the Potters.

If any more disturbing announcements occur, we'll let you know here.

Update: The Whomping Willows have announced that the earlier announcement was, in fact, an April Fools joke designed to draw attention to their real news: Warner Brothers has signed Matt on to an exclusive recording contract and will be setting him up as the "Official Band of Wizard Rock." His new name will be M-Bezzle and he is adding four other men to his line up.

Further Update: Matt has posted another blog informing his fans that as the pressures of the major recording contract proved too much to handle, The Whomping Willows are officially over. He will, however be continuing a solo project to be called "The Whomping Willows".
Posted by Andrew on Apr 1st | comments disabled | Link | Categories: April Fools 2008
Apple announces WiPhone, an all-in-one Wizard device
Apple announces WiPhone, an all-in-one Wizard device Apple, Inc. today introduced WiPhone, combining four products - a revolutionary mobile phone, a widescreen iPod with touch controls, a breakthrough Internet communications device, and a first-class spell encyclopedia. WiPhone introduces an entirely new user interface based on a large multi-touch display and wand recognition system allowing the user to control the device based on finger and wand movement.

"WiPhone is a revolutionary and magical product that is literally five years ahead of any other mobile Wizarding phone," says Steve Jobs, Apple's CEO. "Wizards are all born with two ultimate pointing devices - their fingers and their wands - and iPhone uses them both to create the most revolutionary user interface since the Accio spell."

WiPhone, to be released June 29th, 2008, will cost 103 galleons, 8 sickles, and 12 knuts. It will be available at Apple's two recently opened Wizard stores located in Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley.
Posted by Andrew on Apr 1st | comments disabled | Link | Categories: April Fools 2008
Hogwarts groundskeeper a smash hit on FOX reality show
Hogwarts groundskeeper a smash hit on FOX reality show After years of tending to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, everyone’s favorite half-giant is making a name for himself on television. Are You Smarter Than Rubeus Hagrid? airs every Wednesday night at 9 p.m. ET on FOX.

Host Jeff Foxworthy said the show is a great success and is nearing the viewership of hit reality TV show American Idol. While the contestants tend to outwit Hagrid on the Q&A section, the hands-on portion of the show where they are asked to tame a Blast-Ended Skrewt, usually show that Rubeus ain’t as dumb as he looks.
Posted by Micah on Apr 1st | comments disabled | Link | Categories: April Fools 2008
Trelawney recovers from alcohol addiction
Trelawney recovers from alcohol addiction Following the fall of Voldemort, Professor Sibyl Trelawney has given up the bottle. Known for her occasional sherry drinking episodes while teaching Divination at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Trelawney has now been dry for many years. "It hasn't been easy, but one must understand the pressure of possessing the inner eye. Around the time of the Dark Lord, so many thoughts were running rampant through my mind. It drove me to indulge in the special sauce a little too much."

Trelawney's sponsor, who requested to remain anonymous, says that she has been known to still have the occasional outburst. "From time to time, Sibyl will have a vision that disturbs her to the point of running to the alcohol closet in hopes of drinking [visions] away."

The picture above depicts Sibyl recently attempting to get her hands on a bottle of Grey Goose. Thankfully, Professor McGonagall was present to hold back Sibyl when she had a vision, so no damage was done. Our thoughts are with Trelawney as she continues to make a full recovery.
Posted by Andrew on Apr 1st | comments disabled | Link | Categories: April Fools 2008
Ex-Minister Fudge caught in Veela sex scandal
Ex-Minister Fudge caught in Veela sex scandal The Ministry of Magic released a statement today condemning the acts of ex-Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge. Mr. Fudge initially had a tracker placed on him after it was found he was moving massive amounts of galleons from a high-security vault in Gringotts to a private account in the Cayman Islands.

It has been discovered that Mr. Fudge used the money to pay for "special services" he received in both the Leaky Cauldron and the Three Broomsticks from a wild band of Veelas. While the representatives from Azkaban did not allow comment from the ex-politician, former aide to the Minister Percival Weasley had this to say:

Oh.... I thought he just liked getting out of the Ministry from time to time.

Fudge is best known for his stupidity in not believing in the return of Lord Voldemort.
Posted by Micah on Apr 1st | comments disabled | Link | Categories: April Fools 2008
Kreacher successful in White House run
Kreacher successful in White House run Further complicating an election that was filled with heavy racial and gender undertones, the House-Elf from the Harry Potter series made a lot of noise when he began to pursue and eventually win the Democratic Presidential nomination. The House-Elf defeated his opponent Alan Keyes in a landslide victory. Although he is not a natural born citizen of the United States and thus not technically eligible to run, Kreacher decided, after his display of heroism and show of solidarity to Harry Potter in the famous Battle of Hogwarts, that it was time to step out of the shadows and make a name for himself and ensure all House-Elves are represented in Congress.

When meeting Kreacher for the first time at his inauguration, President George Bush said, "You're free. And freedom is beautiful. We will prevail against the forces of tyranny and evil - against those who hate our freedom."

Kreacher, completely dumbfounded, responded by saying, “How dare he address Kreacher this way,” and proceeded to take out a saucepan and repeatedly hit the former president over the head. Bush’s doctors said shockingly, no damage was done.
Posted by Andrew on Apr 1st | comments disabled | Link | Categories: April Fools 2008
Rowling reveals truth about Harry, Hermione
Rowling reveals truth about Harry, Hermione Author J.K. Rowling has revealed shocking new details concerning the relationship that existed between characters Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. Despite what many fans had considered overwhelming evidence to the contrary, according to the author the two characters shared a deep, lasting romantic bond for years, and eventually got married (ditching their respective spouses). Mr. Potter, she also revealed in a copy of her much-anticipated Potter Encyclopedia, is the father to all of Ms. Granger's children. Rowling added:

“I had to advance the plot somehow and putting the two of them together at that stage in their lives would have been too difficult from a literary perspective. They were in each other’s presence far too often, so Ginny had to suffice as Harry’s love interest.”

Delusional? I guess not.
Posted by Micah on Apr 1st | comments disabled | Link | Categories: April Fools 2008
JKR hands MuggleNet early preview of Encyclopedia
JKR hands MuggleNet early preview of Encyclopedia At this early hour Tuesday morning, we are excited to inform everyone that the author of the Harry Potter novels has just passed along an early copy of her upcoming Encyclopedia!

We're currently paging through it and will be doing so over the next few hours. Once we're finished, we're going to spend all day posting some of the most interesting tidbits. Stay tuned!!!
Posted by Andrew on Apr 1st | comments disabled | Link | Categories: April Fools 2008


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