MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
Oh god you so had me going.. I txted my sister and told her you guys got to read it.. then I looked at the calendar. And slapped myself for being stupid. Lol. Good one, guys.
Clever, clever tried to fool us didn't you? You almost had me there for a minute lol. Very good prank keep it up.
MY REACTION: *reads news post then "spoiler alert!" warning* Omg! No way!?........*hesitates to read while smells something fishy*..........*reads first comment* "..........what?"........ ......*reads second comment* *facepalm* Happy april fools, you gits..... =))
actually, hehe, now that i think about it, mugglenet did do good this year because we were expecting something rly obvious so thats why so many ppl were fooled. (not me, though, i as i said HOURS ago :-P)
April Fools!!!! that is soooo funny, i started reading it and im like what the heck is this!! if all that stuff was really in the book i would scream my head off and throw the book out the window!
I believed that for a minute...but then I remembered it was April Fool's Day. Lol. Not as good as last year, but you had me there.
hahahahahahahhaah that made my day =]
This was the first website I had to check this morning-and I wasn't disappointed. Happy April Fool's Day, everyone!
LOL !!! so funny! good one guys. at first i really didn't want to read it because of the spoiler alert but then i realized it's april fools. xD i think andrews is the best. i can really see that happening xD lol
oh, i just relized its april fools day...now i feel like an idiot...but i suppose if i had read them first i would have guessed.
AGH. April fool's. I forgot. I knew there was something fishy about the whole Snape being the love child of Aberforth and a goat. That Hermione on the dark side thing seemed very odd, as well. I'm really relieved that I didn't just spoil the entire seventh book for myself. I hate you guys. That was mean and cruel and unusual. lol.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Got me there for a second:-P. April Fools is awesome :-)
Okay, I believed it but when I began to read the reviews, I was like "What the heck!" Like Snape being part goat? XD
Nice one, guys. I especially liked this one: "So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." ^_^
Quoting Fleur "Very funny Mr. Bagman." I fall for this every year. Let's all join in and wish our favourite redheaded twins a happy birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRED AND FORGE!!!
Only one thing to say..... HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY Thats a good prank.
wow. that was good. it got me there for a second.
I was wondering what your April Fool's joke would be this year. ;) Too bad I totally expected this, so I wasn't fooled, but it was still very funny. *lol*
hahahah these guys are funny, they had me for one sec before i looked at the date and thoughgt well thats funny!!!! great joke!
hah. hah. i thought you would do an april fools joke so i checked the date at the bottom. you sly people tricked me, and that's all there is to it.
Happy April fools' day, everyone. ^___^
Woulda been MUCH better if they just ran with the "we just read it" scenario. Too much detail to clue in the clueless.
=]
lol i didnt fall for it for a second cuz i actually went on the computer cuz i remembered it was april fool's and was wondering what mugglenet would do this year...i just read the headline and laughed :) i guess last year's Leaky Mug thing actally got me so it was a bit better but they cant just do a shutting down or merging thing again people would have gotten it right away and it wouldnt have been funny :)
Oh yeah... That's EXACTLY what I thought would happen in DH... (:
wow. that actually had me for awhile!!! lol. good one guys!!!
haha, very funny you guys.
You actually had me all excited until I read the first "review" and realized it was April Fool's Day!!!
Nice try, guys. Happy April!!!
meh... You guys still can't beat the April Fools joke you did 2 years ago with the laywers. Anyway there are some funny ones like Dubledore an Animagus... Ollivander in a skirt ha!, um...Cedric eating people.. not so funny. Anyway nice try guys. I wasn't fooled.
Ok. That was seriously funny. I loved it! You could have added a few more 'quotes', or made them longer, but on of the funnier pranks! Bravo!
That got me until you started metioning the reviews. Nice joke guys.
I was so freaked when I read about it, and when I reached "Spoiler Alert" I'm jumping up and down in my chair. Then, I started reading but I didn't want to spoil Book 7 for myself. But I couldn't resist it -- I kept on reading. And when I got to the part about Hermione killing all the Ravenclaws, I'm all like "WTH?!?!? How frickin' DUMB!!!" Then, I read through the whole thing and come to see what you guys say and then I smack my head and say "APRIL FOOLS!!!" :P I can't believe they actually got me there for a few minutes...
ok i was totally believing it till i read that snape was half goat. that was a great joke guys HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!!
Oh har har har...very funny ...yeah ok, it got me too...
yeah pretty bad april fools joke, but ok, happy april fools dayyy
APRIL'S FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL DAY :D
HA HA HA VERY FUNNY You got me April Fool is me
geez, you all terrified me there for a minute.
You guys are sooooooooooooooo mean
haha!! i read the first one and was like...wait....APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!
omg that was so not funny! i've been stressing about book seven coming out and it all ending, and thinking for a minute you guys actually read it and i almost didn't read it because i was so sad....and i didn't even realize it was an april fools until i read the comments, i thought it was some sick joke. and it took me a long time to realize that too...lol. but i should have realized they'd put a spoiler tag around it, and that mugglenet would never be alowed to read book 7 until july 21st ok it was funny. april fools!
woah they had me going for a second...then i saw Luna being Mrs. Potter in disguise...
Happy April Fool's Day! Lol. You guys almost had me there....ha ha.
omg i was about to cry.
wow...you totally got me mugglenet, completley got me...i feel so stupid...
haha guys, nice work! i believed you until you talked about the love child of aberforth and the goat. and i was like 'hold on, it's april fool's day'. hehe =] but VERY nicely done, thought i did like the one last year where emerson and melissa were getting married a *teensy* but better =D
I'm not that daffy. I believed that for about 3 seconds. Good one, though.
LOL They are all so silly!
I totally got scared for a second...that was great, you guys are awesome!
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