MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
ahahaha! funny stuff! it got me at first, but when i read those things, i cracked up. mugglenet always has super april first jokes!
lol gotta love it.... not like the wedding but
it had me going for a min. LOL
i sat here for 15 minutes debating whether to read it until my friend imed me laughing "omg! mugglenet!" so yea.... ur poopiebutts
wow, i was actually believing it until i read the thing about hermionie going to the dark side. theres no way. And aberforth having to have sexual relations with a goat kinda made me wonder too.
i havnt read it yet.. somebody tell me if it gives out HIGE spoilers plz!! if it doesnt ill read it!! ty
DANG! they got me. crap....... i just about sent this page out to everyone in my address book. dang you mugglenet.
OMG!! actually had me, until i read, Micah's comment. love child of aberforth and the goat! priceless!! :D
okay whoa i totally fell for that...haha i was like freaking out...but its APRIL FOOLS! happy birthday fred and george ~8]
Oh my god. XDD you guys stink! I really believed you for a while until I realized it was april first. XDD I love y'all. XDD
lmao! I did fall for that in the beginning! I totally forgot that today is April's fool! lmao! The part about the change in gravity pulls the moon to Voldemort and kills him. lol!
ahhh! I actually believed the first few. Then I realized it was April Fool's Day. I was sooooo excited there for a moment. I love and hate the Mugglenet April Fool's jokes at the same time
Haha. That's funny. Although the LeakyMug was much, much funnier.
rofl!!! i cant believe i fell for it!! stupid me
I just about fell for it- until I realised it was April Fool's Day. That's a mean trick. *pouts* LeakyMug was better last year- my fave April Fool's joke yet.
I chose to ignore the urge to read it for a while but then I glanced at one and it made no sense so then I read them all and (this being the tenth site with an april fools joke I went to) was confused cuz it didn't make sense. Then I remembered once again it was april fools day.
Darn you Mugglenet!!!! I thought you were being serious at first, but then I started reading the spoilers and realized that it was all a fake... APRIL FOOL!! ROTFL!
erm... does anyone understand Lauras comment? im so confused! heehee i dont get it?
HAHA good april fools joke you guys!!
Ok totally had me going with the disclaimer, but when I started reading the thoughts I was thinking "no way Jk would ever do this to us" What a great joke. Happy April Fools Day!
ithat hermione thing was sooo stupid.....hahaha
i believed this for about 10 minutes and then i realized that today was april fools day.you guys are pretty amazing. "Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. " haha oh my goodness that was great
i hate you guys. you really had me going there, after i read the first one, but then i realized what day it was. hahaha =]
Ah! I don't like April Fools Day! I fall for everything. I saw it last night and read the first "review" then I realized that now the 7th book was totally ruined for me and I hated myself for reading it, so I stopped. I spent all last night thinking it was real. Then I got up this morning and started reading the comments and realized it was April 1st. Now I hate myself for falling for it. I really need to pay more attention on April Fools Day.
Oh my gosh you guys! I Fell for it until I realized what day it was! I totally forgot that today was April Fools day! Thanks for the reminder!
AAAAAAHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO WAY !!!!? How ?What? have they gone completely menatal .... I can't beleive this A PREVIEW OF THE LAST BOOK does that mean they read the whole book ? I read it so faST i JUST ....hard to type .... gonna go read it again , I'm not reading peoples feelings on it thoose are HUGE spoilers and you're doing even though you're not supposed to share it (GOOD ON YOU actually hehe seriously did they think they could just give some fans book 7 and then expect nothing to leak out pleeeeease) but I REFUSE TO READ THEM I REFUSE umm I don't think I can take it
too bad i seriously fell for that and started to scroll down to avoid reading it until i saw the part about luna being harry's mother.... raise your hand if you feel a little stupid. april fools!
haha you guys are great : )
OMG I FREAKED! I CALLED PEOPLE AND LEFT MESSAGES!!! holy crap guys...dont scare me like that!
OMG I FREAKED! I CALLED PEOPLE AND LEFT MESSAGES!!! holy crap guys...dont scare me like that!
gosh, guys, you guys scared me with the first one but then i remembered
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! i can't beleive that hermione goes to the dark side!!!!!!!!!! she isn't aloud to do that! wait... WAIT... THIS WAS ALL AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE!!!! or maybe it wasn't. wait yes it was! hermione went to the dark side!!! YOU GUYS ARE SO BAD!! AND I FELL FOR IT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha Ha! That was great! Awsome Job guys! That was very funny! You guys are AWSOME!
HAHAHA! I love you guys! You totally had me for awhile until I started reading the comments that the staff made and I was like...wait, carrot cake and a half goat Snape? Oh yeah...APRIL FOOLS!!! But still not as great as the year you said you were closing, that totally freaked me out!
I didn't read the last part about this not being true and I believed that Luna was Lily in disguise for awhile! hee hee!!
AH AH! LOL!
hahaha you guys totally tricked me up until the hermione one.. like she'd ever do that... these obviously aren't ture (i hope) did you guys still get to look at the book though? I am soooo excited for it to come out i think i an going to pee my pants when i go to borders the night it comes out... :)
Wow, I didn't expect so many people to fall for this!! The publishers would NEVER let someone read the books before hand (other than the editors), and not to mention the 'spoilers' are absolutley... out of this world, and the Potter world. :D
oh my gosh!!! you scared me sooooooo bad!!!!! i totaly believed it for like the first 5 things and i started freaking out!!!!!!!!! then i thought how the heck could mugglecast function if they knew the ending. then ofcourse i realized after the scariest moment fo my life it was april fools day.
omg i totally fell 4 it 4 like a hour. my sister had 2 tell me it was a april fools joke.
STOP STOP STOP i can't take this and a lot of other people don't want to either, you can't doo this OMG!!!! THIS IS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE you had for a second there i can breathe now, but that was good guys, really good. i needed a laugh i think i'll read the rest of your "reviews" now lol
*sigh* i almost fell for this!
hahaha !! this is one of the best april fools joke ever!!! and like we say in French POISSON D'AVRIL!!! (you are an april fish..)
well, it's offical: when you guys post ACTUAL spoilers I won't be able to restrain myself! I read the first one, totally believed it, and told myself to stop reading. then i came back because my curiosity got the best of me... only to read about Aberforth and a goat. [wendy]
Haha i believed that for about an hour!! OMG i knew i was gullible! I was so angry with myself for reading the spoilers, so upset they would let mugglenet read DH, and then angry JK had come up with such a crap ending with dumbledore and cedric (those are the only ones i read at first). Then i went to write in my diary and i was like APRIL FOOLS HAHA Gives me a great idea for my site, thanks mugglenet, gave me a laugh!
You almost had me....until I remembered what day it was
hahaha i loved the thing about Draco and the geese. good job, i totally forgot it was april fools until i saw this.
Oh my god. I almost died. I really thought it was true. jerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk s.
HAHA thats so good.... Happy April Fools! Omg funny....
I actually believed it for a few seconds, then remembered it was April Fools Day. Not to mention the "goat" thing, that sorta hinted at joke. Though we still don't know that it isn't true... I mean knowing J.K.Rowling, anythings possible
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