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MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
Ah, that was pretty good. I wasn't fooled for a second because the only reason I came to the site was to see what they did for April Fools Day, but the comments were still pretty hilarious. Did Ben, like, quit working at the website or something though? Why didn't he comment?
OMG!!!! U r soooo mean :P What an awesome april fools day prank, i totally fell for it.... xxx
OMG! that so got me for a second...then i read goat and remembered april fools day...lol
Hahaha.... that would have been a good book! lol
My thoughts as the occured: Review what? The cover? The BOOK? No way they would let them do that... Today is April 1st, isn't it... Oh yes, those mugglenetters would risk having the pants sued off them to tell us about the book. Thank god this is a joke, otherwise JK Rowling might not live much longer...
APRIL FOOLS!! also, facebook is celebrating april fools too! on my news feed, it said "harry and voldemort have changed their relationship to Mortal Enemies" :)
hahaha i totally got my sister! i told her to come to the computer, and look at mugglenet, and went back to our room so she wouldn't see me laughing. then she came in and asked me if reading it would make the book less good, and i promised her it wouldn't (because otherwise she would kill me). then she got really confused when she read about the goat, and she called me in to look and i explained it to her, and then she asked, "so dumbledore is snape's nephew?" then, i showed her the hermione one, and she's like "so hermione is evil now?" and then i showed her the one with olivander. after she had seen most of them she finally got it ("this isn't real...") and i was like, "don't you remember what day it is?" hahahahahha then i called everyone and told them to check out mugglenet for some huge hp 7 news!
April Fools isn't as funny when you're on your first cup of coffee for the day.
OMG I just got it . . . It's an April Fool's joke . . . It has to be . . . . I'm going to kill them!!!!!!!!
Hahaha! Nice joke guys. Almost had me for a sec. :P I still think the LeakyMug Prank last year was the best! :P
ha ha very funny.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!h appy April fools day!!!!!!!!!!!!
It sounds like the book is shaping up pretty nicely. I liked Micha's review. That was always my theory, but no one would ever listen to me! But now that Micha's confermed my "Snape is Aberforth + goat love child" thoery, all I can say is BOOYA! TOLD YOU SO! :)
omg its april fools... we get it... however i read through the first through and saw the hermione comment and was SHOCKED and then realized that it was completely false!
sillyme: That's hilarious.
i read this last night about a minute after it was posted, about ten minutes after i pulled about five pranks of my own, but after i read the first part about dumbledore coming back my eyes filled up with tears and i x-ed out, i was furious they would post something so big, something i wanted to bad but then again didnt. about five minutes later i read the rest..
i liked LeakyMug way better, but haha!
Knew I could count on you guys for some entertainment today. Still not as good as your marriage to Melissa, but pretty good.
I was completly freaking out for a minute saying "No fair no fair no fair!" and then I saw the words carrot cake and remembered that it's April Fools day lol. Love the goat one and the one about Hermione going on a killing spree. Happy April Fools!
You got me!!!!! Then i went to comment on them and saw the words APRIL FOOL and got it. (I Would have gotten it sooner if i would have read all of them, not just the one about luna.)
Haha.... I almost thought that you guys were serious.... until I glanced down and saw the thing about Snape being the love child of Aberforth and a goat....lol
Sorry guys, didn't fool me.... Not the best I'm honestly surprise that people fell for it. OH well, I hope next year's better.
OMGGGGG U COMPLETELY HAD ME!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHYTEE lolll i was honestly going to start setting some nasty comments buh den i read da other comments reminding me it was APRIL FOOLS :P loll CONGRATULATIONZZZZ u actuallly totally had uss!!! now i want to read the book even moreeee! (didnt noe it was possible)
LOL,....Good one Mugglenet....the only believable comment was Rachel's where Ron joins the Wierd Sisters. LOL......Imagine is that really is true!!
Ha, ha...(I was expecting something really extravagant like last years LeakyMug/Memerson really funny prank website) Today marks a year since I've been visiting the Leaky Cauldron and Mugglenet on a regular basis. Last years prank made such an impression on me that I just got hooked! (I had no idea what was going on--who was this Emerson? and who was this Mellissa? and what did this all have to do with Harry Potter? So I kept coming back to find out more!) So this is a momentous day in history, even if leakys closing and Mugglenet has read the 7th book...:)
Aaaah! I really thought this was real!
I came on her looking for an april 1st joke,and then I read this lol..funny!
this was almost cruel - funny but cruel
o, i thought it was true. but i thougt it was too happy for jk. i liked the part about snape and the goat!!! hehe. that was really funny, espeacially the part about hermione...and cedric being alive. (i wish that was true)
lmfao! that was a gd 1! and the sad thing is that i actually believed it for a bout 2 mins until i read the ova comments! 1# on April Fools Pranks!
Good, good.
Nice April Fools day joke!! Very sublte compared to last years. Almost had me fooled!!:)
Not nearly as good as last years. But Oh well, still April Fools Day.
omg i believed all of it!!! how stoopid am i??? but it strike me as weird that people were allowed to read it before its been officially released ... very funny though - that made my day
Wow, embarrassing i actually fell for that, and then i was like...hold on... lol, second year in a row i've been fooled
the goat was the best part to all this. it was so disturbing! last years' was better :p although this was hilarious.
i shut my eyes and closed the window when i first saw this, but curiosity got the better of me. good one!
You actually got me there, I was skipping down below and all I saw was "Harry and Luna" and I was like..."NO WAY!" And then I said to myself..."April 1st....HAHAHA." Funny trick. Haha, I'm scared for next year.
So I totally saw this when i woke up this morning and didnt realize it was April 1st and so i was really pissed on the car ride to my friends and was talking to my sister and then like an hour later i realized it was April Fool's Day, and yeah that was soo not cool cause i was really mad thinking you guys had given all that away! Funny Funny, but last years was still better
YAY I LOVE APRIL FOOLS DAY! we love you mugglenet but last year was so much more fun! At least this year we can still get our fanfiction! :)
good one!! you scared the crap out of me for one second...made me think about the real possibilities...lol...hil arious!
you guys almost had me i freacked for a miniute then i say it was the fred and george's b-dy and remembered it was april fools day they would be proud of you
My friend emailed me, freaking out. (SHOUT OUT TO GRACE!!!!!!!!!!!) I seriously believed it, and was on ther verge of tears before I looked at my computer clock/calendar.
Yay! April Fools stuff! I
My moment of extreme jealousy has passed. I eagerly read the reviews, realized they sounded like BS...then remembered it's April Fool's day. But I did actually believe the first two. It makes sense that Snape is related to a goat. And Dumbledore is totally the type to descend from heaven on a flying motorbike.
that got me at first. but then i thought about the weasley's birthday and what day it is today and i got it. they were so corny they couldn't be true. they were really funny though!!
ahhh haha april fools...
OMFG! LOL! eeek...that definitely got me....I saw it, and for a few minutes I actually thought it was true but the whole long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat was just too much.... Great job...absolutely hilarious!
ha ha
Oh my God the feeling you guys must have had when they asked you to get your thoughts on the book. WHOA! That's a lasting moment. As always ridiculous, hilarious, and witty comments on your parts.
Oh My Gosh. That gave my a freak'n heart attack. Hermione turn to the dark side? *Faint* Bravo to mugglenet for almost killing all the fans in the world!
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