MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
OMG i totally fell for it!!!
Oh thanks for ruining it for us you evil people. You're soooooooooo lucky that I only read 2 things otherwise you would be dead!!! I mean it.
dag, you guys are cruel XP XD
Okay...so you guys seriously had me going....untill I read the reviews. It was hilarious....Luna is Harry's mother? oh geez...great job guys. I honestly wasn't looking for it....
I woke up today and I thoughgt,g 'hmmm I wonder what Mugglenet was going to do this April Fools Day'. Nice guys ;). See ya!
OMGGGGGG you guys suck!you guys really had me going for a second.I was like wtf?then i realized April Fools!dang it.good one you guys.
LOL! I just read the top part cuz i sooo didn't want to ruin the book, but i accidently glimpsed the Luna part at the bottom and I was like O_o then my brother was all like "it's april fools day" and I felt like kicking myself.
OMG I totally believed that too... then when I got to the part with Snape and the goat I was just like o0o snap its a joke!! good one guyss
PotterManic: I really hope you're joking cuz today is april fools. It was a joke.
so when I read this I thought "what the hell is this!!!!!!" then I got it.... good work guys!
It's April already?! Nice try guys... it was fun!
LOL i totally believed it until the snape is part goat review!
hehe! i totally forgot it was April's Fools Day! it got me for a minute then my brain kicked in and i realised! Nice one guys!
YOU TOTALLY HAD ME GOING THERE!!
That SO got me for a minute! I was so c onfused!
I actually fell for it then i saw something on tv about April Fools and I realized. This was a good joke. I was shocked that you would actuallyput stuff about it on here when they said not to. I completely fell for it.
oh HAR-HAR-HAR-HAR!!! ya'll are hilarious...HIL-AIR-EE-US !!!! got me goin for a second there =B hahahahahahahahaha kinda thought something was cheesy here. Happee April Fools!!
Haha, I'm proud of myself, i didn't quite remember what day it was, you got me until you said "The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys!" there was just no way you would do that and get away with it! if only you hadn't said that! Cool though! :D
boy...do i feel...well anyway, it had me going for a sec..now i can laugh easily..ha ha ha?
I hate you guys. A LOT.
haha happy april fools to you too. snape having his hair washed? i wish :)
AHH i started screaming. god i always fall for mn's april fool's day jokes! im so gullible!
I knew it was for April's Fools, but I still think these little 'spoilers' are hilarious. :D
omg i thought it was real untill like the second one then i was like wait a minute somethings up here this really doesn't sound like something jk rowling would put in the 7th book although it was very funny hilarous guys happy april fools day lol
Wow, that was awesome guys, that was good. Last night at like 1:30 Me and my friend Kyrie and my friend Jacque checked mugglenet and I was the one looking at the news story. I started to read it out loud excited and awe struck then Kyrie knocks me over in her one-man stampede over to the computer. Then she reads the Dumbledore one out loud. Jacque stood up with my pillow and beat her up with it for 'spoiling' it. Then we read on and when we read the one where Dumbledore's related to Snape and Ron was joining the Weird Sisters, we knew something was up. So then we remembered its April Fool's Day and we sat for about an hour laughing and thinking there's gonna be a lot of ppl with reported heart attacks today. That was a good one mugglenet!!!
OOOOOOMMMMMMGGGGGG i thought that was a real review!!!! I was trying not to read it then i saw the april fools!!! haha DONT EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN I GOT SOOOOO FREAKED hahahaha
hilarious. nice work guys.
You guys scared me shitless. Wow, Luna Lovegood and Lily Potter. Histerical.
You lot really got me! I actually fell for this in the morning. hahahahaha! Great prank! I kind of figured it was a joke because afterwards, they sounded ridiculous! lol! You lot made me laugh!
I believed it until I actually read what you guys wrote. Then I laughed. Then I realized, "darn, that would have been ****ing awesome if you guys had gotten to read it." In my dreams...
lmao!!! its wiked, nd i think jamies used his own real life experience to influence his chosen quote, after all didnt he fracture his pelvis /ruin his leg sum how at his winter dance
If Emerson and Melissa hadn't split up already, this sure would have done it. Haha, guys. I prefer LeakyMug to the "Snape is part goat" theory.
wow!!! i really can't believe you guys did that!! I believed you till i read the reviews. when I first read this i ran and woke up my sister and started yelling all the details and she started yelling at me!! ( not a big harry potter fan) I starting flipping out and starting writting this nasty e-mail to mugglenet abuot how you guys ruined the book for me, but then i thought let me read the reviews and see what other people thought about the topic and thats when i saw the reviews!!! ahhhh i fell soooo stupid!!! Great joke!!!
That sadly had me for a minute.
in the back of my head i was like this is not possible. i didn't want to read it so made my dad copy and paste it into microsoft word and i saved it as "seventh book spoliers". then i went to comments and everyone was like "april fools joke!!". and i'm like, "what? its april first?" hahahahahaha, wow. i feel like such an idiot. i love michas. where is mugglecast???
Omg i actuallly thought it was true i was like noooo it cant be,and then when i reald the comments i was like ohh thank god its april fools day phew! :] good one though. what was last years?
wasn't expecting this at all. :P Happy April Fools!
Golly...you guys could have done better than that! COME ON!! You didn't fool me for 1 second! Shame on all of you! lol!
HAHAHA! I couldn't wait to see what you guys had planned for today. What a laugh. Happy April Fool's Day! :D
oh god chu guys
Haha aww this April Fools joke is so obviously a joke. The one that I will never forget was a few years ago when I signed on and saw nothing but a disclaimer saying that Mugglenet had been taken down because of copyright infringement or something. I stared at the screen with my mouth open for 10 seconds until the main page showed up with "April Fools!" on it. Now that was hilarious.
I actually fell for it for 1 minute but then i figured that it was an april fools day joke!!!!!! it was really funny!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love April Fool's Day on Mugglenet.com
I see you've added on since last night! Bravo! The first few that I read did fool me then I got to where Harry broke his pelvis and knew it was April Fools. Good Job. I freaked when I initially saw that you got to review it.
Whoa lol, I totally forgot it was April Fools Day for a moment! Okay Okay, you guys got me...
That was a good one! Once I read the first quote I realized it was a joke haha
where is mugglecast?!?!?!?!?!?!
baaaaaaaad.......... Y ou've done better.
I relized it was a joke the moment, they said they all recived the book. This book will be kept top secret till the end, and if they send them out at all only Emerson, and Melissa would most likley get them.
brilliant. of course snape is half goat! it really does make sense now... (my favorite one was still the one from two years ago, when it came up with a page that mugglenet was closing... omg i fell for that one and freaked out!)
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