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MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
u guys TOTALLY got me....i even called my friend and told her everything...and whn i read all these comments....i just felt like punching my self.......!!
Yeah, I was definitely convinced for a good five minutes or so. I feel pretty stupid. Nice work.
I'll admit, I avoided reading the spoilers until phrase "love child" caught my eye. Last year's April fools was funnier, and the year before was more believable, but I have to say, this one was still pretty awesome.
oh you naughty, naughty lot you!!! :P
You know to have made it really good all of them should have matched. Some like the bumblebee and the giant squid and the moon killing voldemort but then Harry shooting him (potter puppet pals lol) have different ways and it gives it away right there....
*dies laughing* BAHAHHAHA "Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" That made my day. Now I shall tell all about it!!!!
Haha. I'm such an idiot.
Hahahaha, you guys almost got me there for a second, but then i started to read them and i figured it out. Thanks for making me laugh!
OK, wow!! I totally bought that for like an hour. And I even emailed all of my friends the entire passage, butthen I read the comments and I was like WTF? I totally forgot that it was April Fool's Day so I felt like a complete idiot. Then I sent my friends another email and I told them Happy April Fool's day. I just hope that they weren't as stupid as I am.
The goat-ward Snape was good :lol: Emerson, we want your review!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMFAO! I read one or two quick and was like OMG! I x'ed out the page quick because I thought that I was recieving real spoilers. LMAO!
lol you guys!
This is a cruel, cruel April Fool's Joke.
Cool, they keep adding more. So funny.
lol good one ;)
Good one guys! I realised what was going on pretty quickly but it was funny! Cruel!....but funny. I love you guys. XX
OMG I actually believed this for about 15 mins, I love the Lucky Charms review.... reminds me of someone.... HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY EVERYONE!!! =D You guys still can't beat last years joke, that was the best one yet!
I started reading the first few, then I stopped myself and quickly closed the screen cuz I didn't want to ruin it. Then I realized it was April Fools Day. *phew*
please can someone tell me what was last years joke??????
You guys always have the best April Fools jokes, I love it!
Though I could totally tell it was an April Fool's Joke--I mean, come on, "Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" I was still greatly amused. Happy April Fool's Day!
What terrible april fool!!! I believe it for two horrible minutes!!!
For 30 seconds, I was angry that you hadn't made spoiler text "highlight-able" then, I regained my sanity and remembered that scholastic would NEVER give you guys a preview and that it's April 1st. 2 words for you all: MEMERSON FOREVER!!! j/k
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS! you had me till the second review.....
haha.. i admit you got me at first.. but when i started reading them.. i was just cracking up.. HAPPY APRIL FOOLS!!
haha...so yeah all i saw was 'mugglenet reviews deathly hallows' and i immediately clicked out screaming NOOO!!! didn't even think about it being april fool's day. it wasn't until i saw on a facebook group something about 'mugglenet's april fool's joke' and then i felt like a dumb. good one guys.
Wait... was that an April Fools Joke? I didn't read it in case it was true. But i need to know whether or not it was true or false. In fairness, why would they give you a sneak peak knowing that you would go blabbing. They'd have to have you killed!
Well done guys!!! i was like im not reading this!.....itl destroy everything!...i cant believe theyre doin this to Jo!! then i was like aaaaawww cr*p its april fools!! a little relieved i gotta tell ya! Lol! happy april fools to everyone!
what was last years april fools joke im kinda new to this site? :]
what was last years joke?
Dude, I cant wait any longer!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew I shouldnt have read those. This book will be amazing.
Haha, yes! I woke up this morning and realized "Hey...it's April Fool's Day" and ran down to the dorm's computer lab to check Mugglenet. Of course, nothing will ever top the Emerson-Melissa marriage, but this was a very nice way to start my day. :)
Wow, congrats on the review of it... however, I don't want to know about it until I read it. Word to the wise: take it all and put it on another page, not the main one. You kind of can't overlook it when it's the first thing that pops up.
I thought you guys were just being dumb until i remembered what day it was!
OHKKKK......bad bad REAL bad attempt to fool us......btw Ciaran we would have definately fallen for this if it wasent 1st April...(i see some did fall for it though..lol)
The link to last years joke is still up somewhere. I think it's at leakymug.com/old or something...
OMG i was sooo scared for a minute... Oh Gosh... i'm so relieved...omg i'm still shaking. lol. that was not funny!!
I was totally fooled until the part where Hermione turns against the trio. Everyone KNOWS that Ron and Hermione have to get together in the end. Great April Fool's joke, guys! And happy birthday to Fred and George!
the last one (Ryan's) is the best by far. lawlz at this. happy april fools!
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA. m y favorite is Jamie's and Ryans. :D Happy April Fool's Day!!
'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' lol that's the best one!
xRunawayxLovex: Umm... I hope you know that this is an April Fool's Joke, if not, dude, get real, do you think Hermione would Kill everyone in Ravenclaw??? Seriously!!!!! Dude....
... i TOTALLY fell for it. GAH! I WAS SO EXCITED... until i saw the whole "SNAPE = ABERFORTH + GOAT" part... i was like, WTF?
Holy shhh. At first I was like Well now it's ruined. Thanks a lot. But it's just a April Fool's prank. Hahahahaha. Woww. Ahhhh I can't wait for the book to come out!!!!!!!!!! I am so gonna cry when I read it. I bet you anything.
Good one. Ron in the Weird Sisters! HA! Dumbledore being an animagus would make sense. Dumbledore is Latin for Bumblebee. I can't believe I fell for it. But seriously, don't joke about that kind of thing.
You actually had me there for a little bit. Good one. =D
Some people still think it's true? LOL
This is THE meanest April Fools joke ever! I can not believe I fell for it though! I'm not a naieve person! But until after I read that part about Dumbledore and the motor bike, I came to my sences when I thought about how Mugglenet would never ruin such an important thing as the 7th book. Thats not to suggest Im not still a little bit shaken up about it. Im sooo converting to Leaky. *sigh*
I just kept saying to myself: no, no, no, no, no!!!! Hermione turing to the Dark side?! Gotta be kidding me!
fabulous...not quite as good as the LeakyMug, but still funny. Andrew's is my fave...Mugglecast should be interesting today... :D The question i think everyone wants answered though is "Where is Emerson's Review?" :D Happy Birthday Gred and Forge! :D
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