MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
i believed the one about ron when i first read it. i was like "strange choice, jo" what was the one last year that everyone is raving about???i remember there being one but i can't remember it at all...
Wow, funny you guys! It got me until I read the first three words of the first "review". JK TOLD us that Dumby wasn't coming back. Cute idea though!
HAHHAHAHA LOL! thought that was real and told my friend i would call her back because i was so excited. and wow. i forgot it was april fools day. oh wow. i really have to get someone with this later. lol!
to magicgirl_rulz_4eva just read the news then!
hahaha... they added new ones this morning! NEW FUNNIER ONES!!!! natalie's, laura's and ryan's... OMG! so funny. ...pots of gold and rainbows, and a red balloon! YAY! oh and i can just imagine cedric behind the veil whispering "whisper,whisper, spspspspspsp, " LOL and always remember: NEver tickle a sleeping goose>"!!!!!! LMAO!!!! oh. my. god. I LOVE U PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!
wow. i was only reading the top part when my sister said, DON'T READ THE BOTTOM IT RUINS THE BOOK!!!! hahaha. I almost believed you guys would do that. You wouldn't would you???? Happy April Fool's Day everyone!!!!!
yeah. i just about died right there :)
omg, that totally got me fooled. i completely forgot it was April 1st!! lmao
Hah hah hah -_-
omg.... if i haddn't read the comments, i would have gone on believing that you guys actually READ the 7th book. JEEEZZZZ lol well now i can read the spoliers knowing that they aren't true... lol i wasn't going to read them. omgsh... i can't believe I believed it. lol
OMG, I thought you were serious and I was like OMGWTF?!?!? But then, I realized... Mugglenet does April Fools pranks. You guys are TERRIBLE! And I did wonder, since Jo said DD wasn't coming back... but YEESH! I'm printing this out, man... this was your best prank ever, guys! Even better than last year's... "The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni Hehe, hilarious... You really almost had me going theer!
OMG i love you guys! I laughed for about 10 mns straight. Not one of your best April Fool's gags, but histerical nonetheless. I was wondering what you were going to do, and jeesh! I couldnt believe it was true, and i almost died laughing reading all of those crazy ideas. Way to go guys!
i actually beleived it until i read hermione killed all the ravenclaws
yall....got me. =[[
I seriously fell for it till I read the comments. I totally forgot it was April Fool's Day!
haha great april fools joke! i read this late last night when it was still march 31st here, so i didn't think about it until i started reading the reviews... hopefully none of that stuff actually happens in the real book 7 :)
The entire time I was reading the comments I was thinking "Ok, this is bs... this can't be right it's got to be a joke... But why would they play a random joke like that? Oh... duh I forgot... today's April First..." =P Nice one, unfortunately you didn't have me fooled for a second. ^.^
omg i was seriously about to spazz out over this...then i remembered what day today was. LOL. hilarious.
hahahahahahaha
haha thats pretty funny
yeah...last year was MUCH better
Hehe, just sent it to my sister... wonder if she'll fall for it? Once again, great one, guys! I was so excited about it that I didn't even keep my head on, DD doesn't come back, DUH! And at one point I actually thought, "oh, man, should I be reading this? It'll ruin the whole book for me... ah, well, what the heck!" Hahahahhahahha!!!
OMG they really fooled me....i got so scared and i flipped when i saw the fake 'spoilers' and the fake comments.....
Hey guys, I dont seem to be able to remember, but the room of requirement on jkr's website, in the reflection is that dor always open?
lol Still, nothing's gonna beat the year that they said MuggleNet had been shut down I almost had a heart attack when that page came up! Happy Anniversary, Emerson and Melissa!
oh, that was grand! i really beleived it, and i was trying not to look. i was going to write a comment telling the staff off for not hiding the spoilers better, then i saw all the others comments saying it was and april fools' joke..... so then i went back and read them..... HILARIOUS!!!!! the sad part is, some idiot is going to read those and really beleive it..... heh heh heh, how i'd like to see their face when they actually read the book!!! that was grand...
I was ticked off for a second, thinking that it was very wrong of you indeed to spoil the surprise for the rest of us, and then I remembered what day it was. Good one.
Wow, you had me going for 5 whole minutes. I totally forgot what today was, and it was after I was talking to my friend about it on the phone I looked at the comments to see if they were kidding, and I freaked out, reassuring my friend that it was false information. I particulary had a field day with the Muggles obliterating everyone and Harry defeating Voldemort with a handgun. You had me going, guys!
last years april fools was much better; it scared me half to death.
I don't even like Veritaserum.com or whatever it is, but their joke was definitley the best, it looked like they put the most work into theirs. But this one kinda sucks, no orinigality or anything, actually Leaky probably gets the no originality award since you guys did that joke 2 years ago.
Th first paragraph had me goin, but after that... Great stuff! (as always)
i bow down to you. You totally had me there for ages as well i was really confuzed thinkg what the hell is happening and i dont usually leave comments or read anyone elses so i didnt know. Then i finally realized and was so relieved. That has to be the best joke ive seen all day. loved it even thoguh i was scared the final book was terrible for a while. WELL DONE MUGGLENET and HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY luv adele.
imissdumbledore you were comment 777! Lucky you haha. When I first read this I was thinking...oh my goodness! Then I read you wanted to share with us and I was thinking....well if they did...it must be silly things that don't matter. SO I scrolled quickly (as to make sure if it wasn't silly things I would be spoiled too much )and read "Dumbledore is an Anigmas" I was in the library at University and my friend looked at me and asked if I was ok, supposedly my face just went white. I didn't want to know that yet! But then i skipped to the comments and read "good april fools joke" and became angry at myself haha. Once I read the comments, it became really apparant, I was just too scared to read them in the first place haha! Awesome April Fools joke, my first joke played on me today and definatly the best ever!!
OK guys that is truly criuel and hilarious!!!!!!!! This goes down in the April Fools Hall of Fame!!!!! You just might have outdone Fred and George if t
OK guys that is truly criuel and hilarious!!!!!!!! This goes down in the April Fools Hall of Fame!!!!! You just might have outdone Fred and George if t
omg that took me like an hour to realize it was a april fools prank!! omg and after i like called all my friendz!!!!
Hahahahaha............... .......yall got me for a little while.......Happy April Fools Day........
"Dumbledore is the Giant Squid"........Hmmmmm....c ould be
shoot... yeah i totally fell for it.
ahhhh!! you SO got me i told my friend and i was sooo excited too =(. But then my friend was like "oh it's april fools" and all my happiness shattered..GOD job though!
Lol, Happy April Fools Day everybody!! :D Good one! Not quite as good as the Leaky Mug one, but I know that one would be hard to top... :P
These are hilarious I live in a small town. The hamburger place put on their sign LIFT HANDED HAMBURGERS and people came in for them . The car wash sign reads $5 car wash to get the pollen off. HA HA
You guys had be going for about 30 secs; basically until I got to the end of Brendan's quote. Too funny Brendan, my favorite "review" quote.
i screamed when i read the first bit, then scrolled down to the bottom. When i read ryans "lucky charms" bit i got the feeling it was an April Fool's prank. Magically Delicious!
Oh my gosh! I actually believed this for a few seconds and then I paused and realized that it is indeed April fools. Happy April fools mugglenet!
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! I believed it for like seriously fifteen minutes, i am the stupidest person alive..haa the whole part about hermione going bad !! that scared me sooo bad that she killed like allt he ravenclaw ppl oh WOWWWWWWWWWWWW hahahaaaa nice one muggle net i hate you all!
I think Ryan's is my absolute favorite. Who'da thunk? "HARRY POTTER AND THE LUCKY CHARMS." Very clever, my man!
hahha. i ran downstairs and yelled at my sister to come read the spoilers with me! and she was like oh i already read them! i was like JERK YOU DIDNT TELL ME?!!? so i ran back to my room and read Dumbledore's etc etc etc GAUDY.. i was like OH MY. then "I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat" HAHAHH. I LITERALLY DIED. nice one guys.
last years and the year before that were both better but this is cool too
OMG i actually believed that, and then when i read that snape was half-goat i was like, wait that's completely absurd! omg i am soooo gullible!!! you mugglenet peeps actually got me. that was the BEST april fool's joke i ever heard of LOL
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