MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
Posted by 53249314 8 minutes ago Hi J.K. Rowling and everybody else, If you don't want to know the end of the story, don't read this. My friend and I have been analysing the different covers and this is the conclusion we came up with. First of all, the UK adult cover doesn't unveil anything... However, in 'unveil', there is 'veil', and if you look at the UK children version, you can see the arch in the background, but without the veil. So we looked for it on the US cover and there it is, on the either side of the cover, revealing the destroyed arch whose wooden bits and stone fragments you can see in the foreground. What confirms it is that the setting described in book 5 around the arch is that of an amphitheatre............. ......................... .......... (quoted) the entire comment is interesting... the complete one is further up in the comments
OMG are you all serious I mean I know it is April Fools Day. OMG I totally believed all that stuff no matter how crazy it sounded lol.
Haha, good one guys! You had me on the first review, but when I read the second one, I knew. ;)
heehee!... i was scrwaming like crazy!... mi sis didn't let me read it!... she said it would riun the book for me!... and then!... we remembered!... april fools!!... god!... i laughed so much!... ok!... how can dumby be a bubble bee and the giant squid??... hahahahah!!... god one MG!!...
OMG.... do you people realize that I came to this website and saw "Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection" before I could shut down the page? I screamed like a banshee and almost broke into tears until I realized the date. Thanks for the scare.
Hi anniehhr, We're online at the moment. Thank you for appreciating our comment on the end of HP7. This is not an April's fool. We really think what we wrote is what is going to happen...
LOL.at fist when I saw this I was like oh sh*t!But then it dawned on me it was april fools day!Good one!
oh my god I was totally fooled for the first three until I started reading the posted comments!!!!!!
omgosh I haven't been on this in ages.. and I thought it was true until I read all the comments I was like HOLD ON..Dumbledore's resurrection?!?!?! omgg 110 days til the book! that was a good trick btw..veritaserum has one too but its not like this onee
This was funny, but they really need to put the belivable (sp) ones first, the others just give it away.
haha i was so expecting a prank. Great joke though. I loved all of them. Really entertaining, I had to read them to my mum cause she wanted to know what i was laughing so hard about. She had no idea what I was talkin about. But very funny and it made my day. Good April 1st quote: He who plays the fool. Is the fool.
i'll admit it that i believed it at first hahaa
lol wow...After the first one I knew it was a joke. BOO! You got my hopes up haha.
I completely forgot today was April Fool's Day but you guys didn't have me for a second. It's not that good of a prank. I liked the one two years ago where you guys were sued by lawyers. I was in a bad mood all day =D
I'm so glad this is an early April Fools' Day joke!
OMG! That was so mean. SOOOO when I was first reading this at 2:00 AM I was already over-emotional from watching Gone With The Wind for the first time about ten minutes before. Gone with the freakin' Wind. See you were just trying to mess with my brain. So when I read "Dumbledore" and "resurrected" I screamed. At 2 in the freakin' morning. When my mom and sister are sleeping. I couldn't help it. I got way excited. Like way way way way excited so excited that I couldn't even continue to read it. So my mom comes in here and I was like so should I read it or not. And she was like "do I care?". And then I realized it was 2 in the morning. And I was like "oh, my bad." So she went back to bed. And I started to read said spoilers. And then after all that they weren't spoilers at all. You can imagine the joy this brought me. So in short Mugglenet, I hate you. Actually I don't, but that was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO mean. Love ya, bye.
YOU GUYS! -hits you- YOU HAD ME SO SCARED! LMAO. I read the one about Hermione joining the Death Eaters, and I'm like "OMG NO WAY!" I just joined Mugglenet this year, so I didn't except an April Fool's thing. Nice job, haha!
I have to admit, it was a HILARIOUS joke, I was a little superstitious, but I so fell for it!!!! lol great one!!!
Oooh check out Veritaserum - it's brilliant!
I totally freaked out when it said that everyone got to have an advanced look at DH! I don't want to see spoilers! But then I though, wait a minute, they never just show the spoilers so plainly. And then...oh, it's April 1st. Good one, though. I rather enjoyed reading the reviews.
Lmao, I refused to read it until I saw that it was an April Fool's joke. So, needless to say, you got me. Nice one guys!
omggg wtf i so believed u until my friend told me it was a joke earlier tht day my friend pranked me and later today when i checked mugglenet out and i saw it i srtd freakin out when i heard about hermionie i believed it and srtd crying when i found out it was a joke i got6 on the floor laughing but................. u guys did get me very funny tho i wonder wht ull do next yr. think of something better and yup ily guys soo sooo much -the blonde who will believe anythun
I WAS ACTUALLY FOOLED!!!!!!! lol APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!! But after a while i was starting to think they weren't true, then I realized what day it was. I especially loved the last one about the lucky charms.
oh em gee. so i read the post and the part that said "Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection" and had a heart attack and stopped reading. then when i got home i got back on and the post had changed-only then did i realized today was april fools day. dang guys, you totally got me. good one.
Wow, I was wondering what Mugglenet would do this year. It was a bit obvious that it is fake, BUT it had me laughing out loud the whole time I was reading it. Great job, guys!
I think the thing was mean, considering i fell for it...untill i got towards the end...then i realized the mistake i had made
Wow....I can't even tell you guys. This had me for six hours. I refused to read any of them, and then I accidentally read the first line of the "spoilers" and saw 'Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection' and I was so angry! It wasn't until I told someone about it and then they looked at me for a second, then said "you know its April Fools Day?" AHHHHH...this was my reaction. Good one...you guys got me good.
I can't wait to read Deathly Hallows with all of these glorious details and imageries. Snape's hair washing scene will definitely go down in history as a grave warning to those who neglect personal hygiene, and what better lessons can such a world famous children literature deliver to its faithful young readers? And the giant squid in action! Now we can -finally- appreciate Lily's sentiments by seeing how it measures up again one Mr. James Potter. Oh and those clever product placements and potential advertisement opportunities...Harry with a broken pelvis definitely speaks of osteoporosis and the dangers of canned soup diets lacking calcium during childhood. A "Got Milk" commercial featuring our dear Harry will appear in the forseeable feature! (this is my very first post, and yes indeed, I solemnly swear I am up to no good =) )
I knew it was a trick after reading the first one... they were hilarious
you guys ALMOST got me on the April Fool's Joke!At first I was "oh my God!" and then when I read about Hermione finishing all the Ravenclaws the April fool's came on my mind. very good!And no wonder the Weasley twins born on this day!Is so tipical of them these kind of things :)
Brillant!!!!!!
Wow. I only read up to the Hermione thing. I said to myself "Ok, I am definitely not reading this book." If I'd only read till the lucky charms related one at the bottom, I probly would've realized what day it was. I had to smack myself over the head. I feel like such an idiot. Hahaha. Nice one guys :)
OMG THAT WAS JUST....JUST....well, i dunno. I totally thought it was real and said to myself *I'm not going to read the spoilers, i can't! I have to wait for book 7! How can they do something like that? They're totally ruining it for everybody!* But then i just got too curious and I read 'em and after the first few comments i remembered it was april fools' day and i realized that it was a joke! I totally sighed with relief but i'm still a bit grumpy....and i have no idea why....
That had me, until I read the "spoilers". Then I just laughed my head off. What a way to brighten up my day!! But this was no LeakyMug (I expected better).
XDD, that last one was so hilarious...!
you didnt fool me for a second well ok maybe 10 but still "slipped on a slice of carrot cake"! where do you come up with this stuff? Happy April Fool's Day! you guys are evil!
i so fell for it cuz all i saw as i tried to scroll past this and not read it was Dumbledore's resurrection and i started freaking out and i was mad and i swore off the site for a week until this story went away and just now after my friend tricked me good and then said april fools i thought to go and look and see if they took this story down but congrats mugglenet, you had me for over 5 hours and i also saw Lily in disguise and that pissed me off too lol
well Mr.53249314 I think your idea is ok, but i just don't like it so i'm not going to belive you!~
wen they said hermione turned evil.............lol
i knew none of that stuff is real HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!!!!
Oh my gosh............rofl..... .....I can't believe I actually made myself stay off of Mugglenet for an entire day in order to avoid that...and asking them to black out the text (painstakingly making sure that I couldn't read anything)! Merlin, I'm too gullible for my own safety....
It was a very good joke. My favourite is still last year's though :P I didn't read them until I'd worked out it was a joke, though, I couldn't bear to.
lol... I showed this to my mother, and she actually believed that that was going to happen in the final book. No joke, I'm serious... as you can see, she's very gullible... =)
HAHAHAHA This was hysterical you guys! Nothing on last year's but still. Brilliant. Now, if you can only get Jo in on it next year, you're all set to beat the LeakyMug. :P And ditto on wishing Memerson a happy anniversary!! LOL
*cracks up.* better than last years. *starts singing* Melissa and Emerson sitting in a tree...*trails off.* nah, i liked this one. especiallay Snape being the son of Aberforth and the goat. ^_^
You sure had me! I did not read the rest of the post. I thought you were going to spoil it for me.
"April Fools have gone apast your the bigger fool at last, up the ladder down the tree, your a bigger fool than me". April Fools was over at dinnertime today.. but great prank. you had me going there for a minute. but i cannot wait till July to read the book.
It wasn't as good as Emerson being a 40-year old bum who lives with his mom...
OMG!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! !!!! Rachael, yours was my fave!!! I didn't fall for the April Fool's thing, but I thought these "spoilers" were HILARIOUS!!!!!! :-D
That was good! =D I fell for it face forward, but I am proud to say I didn't read any bit of the spoiler... I wanted to wait for July, and now I still can without further temptation! lol.. It was a well done joke. :)
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