MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
c i thought this one was true until i started reading the actual reviews. and this one is so much better than the Leaky Mug business. that was clearly stupid, but the year before that when they did the whole mugglenet has been shut down thing i almost cried. but its all good
*dies while laughing hysterically* *comes down from the heavans riding Norbert* That was freaking hillarious. Awesome! How do ya'll come up with this every year?
If Leaky's latest post is an April fools joke then its a really sad one, it almost made me cry and I dont even go to leakynews!!
Ohhh my....i just got several of my friends with that on IM. LOL!!! I still say Memerson was one of my favorites! Kudos to yet another good prank!
Oh crap you got me. I was scared when I read the Hermionie switching to the dark side. Gosh I am so gullible. The goat one actually makes sense though lol :)
No no but seriously, I thought this was real until I saw the comments xD Con someone please tell me about the old April Fool's jokes? I'm kinda new to this site as of 7 or so months ago...
And something I forgot to add: What? No dead parrots? Singing lumberjacks? Confuse-a-cat? Silly Terry Gilliam-style illustrations?;3
I fuh-reakin' LOVE you guys. =D Happy F&G's Birthday aka April Fools!
Nice April Fool's Joke!! I loved it! You nearly had me convinced at the introduction... but the second I read "Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike" I clued in. Great "prank!"
Hahahaha! You guys are good...Geez, I was quite startled for a minute there. Happy April fooling to everyone else? I just couldn't get over the fact about Hermione going to the Dark side...and the whole Snape thing.
Yeah. Uh-huh. Well, it's better than the one Leaky came up with. Though nearly not at good as last year, which I had MISSED. Gah! The one time I get to be in front of a computer on April 1st, and absolutely nothing of interest happens!!! Which reminds me: HAPPY ANIVERSARY, MEMERSON!!!!!
ahhhh..... that's great.... lmao!!!! :D
lmao I was decieved for about..... 10 seconds.... then I thoroughly enjoyed the joke.
I came on LOOKING for the april fool's joke. When i didn't see anything i looked at the first post....i'm like 'this is it?' I sure hope they come up with something more entertaining than this. they really can't outdo last years leakymug but...they have GOT to do something better than this.
ROTFLMAO!!!! i believed it at first, but the spoilers were great.....could you imagine if that's what happened??
There has to be more, I want something even more radical than the leaky mug.
APRIL FOOOOOOOOLS!! nice one guys..
Pretty good! I liked our version (SpinnersCast's) a bit better. Here's to hoping you guys are going to do a bit more on the joke-iest day of the year! I have faith though. Much love!
ohhhh man! i was in shock for a second! APRIL FOOL!!
Wow! i completely freaked. ive been promising myself that if any kind of spoilers appeared, i wouldnt look so i wouldnt ruin the experience of fianlly reading it. but i couldnt help but sroll over the article. All i actually read while simply scrolling very fast-- as if pretending to myself i wasnt reading, but actually doing so-- was that "there's more to hermione than meets the eye" and "thye resurrection of dumbledore." Immidiatly i ahted myself. I opened the comments though to see what people said and saw it was a joke. whew!
By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY!! ^-^
This is an April Fool's joke, I just know it!
You had me for a second. Haha. Then I was all, "oh april fools day!" Happy Birthday Fred and George!
ummmm..... is it an april fools post? cause it isn't April yet. it even says it was posted on march 31
i believed it for a SECOND but it was still great
At first I thought wait Hermionie can't kill anyone....I was about to write a very angry email to you guys but then I read the comments and was like "Oh thank goodness"....haha I just sent it to a bunch of my friends....Perfect guys thanks I needed a good joke to pull
holy crap that scared the crap out of me... i thought that was all true until the aberforth thing... wow i feel blond...
Lol happy april fools to you too - Berts
lol. Nice. One thing, though. I already expected something fun for April Fool's... kind of like the wedding you guys had before? Very well done, guys!
To Zekiu : Last year, Emerson had married the webmaster of the Leaky Cauldron and they were thus creating a new website "The Leaky Mug".... Didn't seem real, but it was funny. Two years ago, we got a message saying JK's lawyers had ordered them to close the site because of copyrights and stuff. Looked real and freaked the hell out of me. I can't remember before. Maybe they didn't have April Fool's jokes?.... hmm...
Happy April Fools!!!
okay zekiu, two years ago, in 2005, there was a prank that once you went to mugglenet all it was was a white website with a couple of sentences saying that mugglenet was shut down. but if u waited a minute or two, you were redirected to the real mugglenet saying that it was a joke. last year, there was a post saying that the leaky cauldron and mugglenet had joined into one site due to the marriage of emerson and melissa. apparently shippers of the two brought this idea to them...anyway they created the Leaky Mug site, but apparently emerson and melissa managed to divorce by the end of the day, bringing back two separate sites
things like this make me want to wish memerson a happy anniversary! maybe one day it ll really happen! *wicked look* aww come on....LeakyMug was super cool!!!
I've been going to MuggleNet every ten minutes waiting to see if this year's April Fool thing is up yet. I knew this was it the moment I saw the title!
Hmm guys, not QUITE up to par as the LeakyMug prank last year. Maybe Jaime and John Noe could elope or something like that. I MEAN! It's SOOOOO great that you guys got to review deathly hallows and tell us *sarcasm for all you people who didn't notice*
OMG you totally got me for a couple of seconds! I put my hand in front of the screen to stop myself from reading it and everything...but it didn't work and then I laughed...
Hahah.. ahh i love you mugglenet! That was good, although i must admit i did get a little excited when i read the beginning of the news peice *blushes* but i don't know if i would want to know anything.. well .. apart from what i have created in my head :P
Oh, ok thanks sophie_black and SandyDandy!!
I am actually watchinng COS on Disney Channel so when I read that I was staring at the screen thinking "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" but thank god this is a joke
ok, you had me there for a second! :) You and harrypotterfanfiction.com both had me freaking out today.
okie dokie, had me freaked out until i saw the first review, lol sooo funny!
hahaha Nice one, cant believe it took me till the second "comment" to figure that one out!
I was completely prepared this year so HA!, and other than the title, the joke was pretty cruddy....lets see if leaky did any better
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS EVERYBODY!!
OH! April fools... wow. you really had me fooled.. until I got to Dumbledore's ressurrection...
I completely forgot that it was April Fool's day. Haha. Good one guys. Oh, and a hearty HAPPY BIRTHDAY to everyone's favorite twins! *blows kisses*
That totally got me!! Wonderful work guys (and Rachel) ;) Happy April Fools!
OH you people are sooo NAUGHTY!!!!!
AGh you horrible people! I actually believed it for a moment there! I was all excited and everything! *smacks forehead* I must say, I almost believed the Snape being the son of the Goat for a moment, and totally bought into the Dumbledore resserection. Oh well happy April Fools, then!
That was really good, I actually believed you for a second. hahaha!
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