MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
ok that got me for a minute!lol...it was funny=]
thanks for making me flip out and answer the most difficult question of my life: do I read them? naturally, I did, and thanks for making me feel like a fool, but it was quite amusing happy april fool's day!
Haha nice. Not as good as last year or the year before, but good.
I have some advice. Make the spoiler alert bigger. Yes, I realize this is an April Fools. But it was easy to catch because Mugglenet would never make a spoiler alert so small and so easy to come across.
I thought you actually read the book and joked that we couuldn't know... I was angry!!!! Then I read these comments. rofl
i must say that was a superb april fool's joke. you completely got me!! and i never fall for those!!! haha, well done, very funny!
ahahahaha that made me laugh... I particularly liked Micah's. That kinda gave it away. xD But it's not April 1st yet! At least, not in Cali time. =)
i could tell it was for april fools after reading the second one.
haha good one guys. would have got me except that i remember last years april fools and how crazy i was going for about an hour until i realized what day it was. last years had to be the greatest with the whole merging of the sites, i was literally crying. lol
omg i almost failed for it...but then i looked at the calendar and thought...oh it's april!
How Rude!!! I thought "Hey, that sucks" but then I glimpsed through the "reviews" and then it hit me DUY It's April Fool's Day!!!
hahhahahaha, that was HIL-ARIOUS!!! the wierd sisters....what can i say?
Micah's 'review' was by far the best!
Jesus f***ing Christ. I had a heart attack and a half when I read that. My friend IMed me and started freaking out about how you guys didn't take the proper precautions to hide spoilers and then I came here... and I realised it was April 1st :P
Hahaha. I think my favorite review was Ron becoming a Weird Sister.
I'm not gonna lie.. They got me XD
The third round of Wombats should be coming out soon if they continue the 6 month thing, in fact it should be today
All I can say is that I'm glad that you all did not right the book.....:)
omg, that was too funny! like everyone else, i was fooled for a couple seconds, and then i read the comments and realized... it's april! omg, this was absolutely hilarious! lol =P
hahaha, Micah's is the best!! "cow"-ard. :)
I'll admit it, it got me. I wasn't going to read it so I scrolled down, and saw carrot cake, and new then that it was an April fool's day trick. Hhaahahaha!! For a few moments there....Well happy April first everyone!!
I actually believed you for a moment! I say "Dumbledore's resurection" and was just starting to go insane and then I sat back a second and went "Wait..." LOL. Oh, you suck! I was so excited! But happy April Fools!
I totally fell for it!!!! LOL I tried so hard not to read it, but I just couldn't resist!!!! LMAO!!! You guys are great!
Hee. I visited Mugglenet specifically to see what you guys were doing this year. Hilarious!
Happy April Fools to you all too.
Haha I love you guys.
this didn't get me at all and i didn't get that it was an April fools thing because its still march 31 here. I didn't get it till i went to the comments section.
Hey, while you guys still can, put the most believable ones first (Ron and Harry's) and the least believable ones last (Dumbledore and Snape). You'll get more people to fall for this!
Eff you, stupid just after midnight totally catching me off guard.
Hysterical. I believed for the first one... and then I read the one about Snape being a love child. But thanks for the comic relief!
You got me... It's not april fools day yet here, but I thought I'd double check b4 bed, and I'm glad I did.... you got me for a minute!
i totally feel for it the first part but then when i read the reviews of the book i know it was a joke i fooled my friend about that they change the released date to 7/7/07 and she fell for it lol
i actually did believe it... with a tinge of awe... and then i read the comments about the book and i knew it was a joke lol.
OMG! that totally got me for a while... i was reading the intro thing and was like " NO WAY OMG" and i believed the first comment but was like "wow, that's really weird" and then after that i totally got it, but i didnt realize it was an april fools joke... funny earlier today i was like, "man they arent gonna to a joke, the one last year was halarious." still so crsazy funny, especially the hermione one. i also like the goat ome (micah) and the broken pelvis Cheezecake one (jamie) OH so funny!!!!!
omigosh I almost had a heart spasm... then I raed the other comments and I am soo relieved...
Sweet Harry! You nearly had me...until the goat! well, thanks for the laugh! Happy Fred and George Day everyone!!
Dispite my wondering for the past few days what you guys were gonna do this year, you actually got me there for a sec. Happy birthday Gred and Forge!
Well, that was borderline cruel! You're going to give some aging fan a heart attack one day! lol. Hmm, what gave it away? Oh, the fact that you ALWAYS black out your spoilers was a biggie. I was at first like 'oh, god, gotta shut my eyes and scroll down!' but then i thought 'wait a minute,' and looked. My stomach is still in knots, lol. Primitive side is screaming 'FIGHT OR FLEE!!!! FIGHT OR FLEE!!!' lmao. I'm an idiot. Mel
April Fools... this was funny but I was expecting something alot bigger, a site layout change, mugglenet having renovations, Emerson going crazy waiting for the last book or something. This just was not up to Mugglenet standards for me. Hopefully it will be better and/or bigger in the morning. I was so excited to see what you guys would do, I am so dissappointed.
hahaha i love you guys. happy april fools day!
That got me, really it did. I saw "Dumbledore's truimphant resurrection," and I was like "darn, I read the spoilers," then I came to the comments section and saw the words "April Fools" I went to read the "reviews" and I was like "Oh, ha ha ha, that got me," I was laughing because I was nearly crying that they got to read the book first. Ha ha ha, I find Micah and Jamie's reviews hilarious, nice timing here in Australia too, nice one guys. Happy April Fools Everybody!
Crazy! you got me there!! I was really looking forward to what "prank" you'll do to us this April Fool's Day, I was looking forward to another "site closed" thing again! But this really excited me a lot and although I thought it was too farfetched I believed it!!! I was supposed to comment about how BIG your problem is, when I read the other comments about april fools!!! geezzzzzzzzzzzzz
had me til i started reading the "reviews!" happy april fools day! :)
YEAH RIGHT MUGGELNET! and unicorns just shot out of my butt. They would NEVER give you a preview. If they did you would never be able to even say that you did. Second of all it probely hasn't been printed yet. 3rd of all LETS NOT FORGET THAT THIS IS APRIL 1. APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!! PLEASE, you couldn't do any better then that?
Okay so you all totally had me there for a second and then I was like oh ya ~April Fools!~ Nevermind! LOL good one guys! That snape one was great! Happy April Fools everyone!
HAHA, you guys... rock. ^.^ Oh, the things you do to us. You totally got me at first. xD Happy April Fool's! :] xo
OMG I thought that was real!!!! It seems pretty far fetched and I am so glad that's not going to happen!
I just emailed this to half of my friends... and two of them feel for it... hook, line and sinker!!! Though I got a couple "I hate you"s the reactions were hilarious!!! I HIGHLY recommend this method of Potter-Obsessed torture! Seriously, it's a good April Fool's joke on those friends that don't check MuggleNet.
On the plus side Mugglenet, I bet you "The Leaky Cauldron" almost chocked on their pumpkin juice.
OMG lol i was just about crying.
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