MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
Ehahaha! That was a good one. I was wondering what they'd do for April Fools this year... LMAO. I loved Jamie's quote. Typical Jamie. XD
I totally forgot it was April fool's day. Great job, guys!!
you had me just long enough for the words "HOLY SH**, THE KIDS AT MUGGLENET GOT TO READ DEATHLY HALLOWS" to come out of my mouth. as soon as they did, i realized exactly how ridiculous that sounded and came back from the massive coronary i was about to have. i didn't actually make it to the "reviews", i think those would have been a give away though.
Nice one. Totally had me laughing as soon as I read the first "review".
Well I'm glad they go out and try to outdo the LeakyMug of last year with something outrageous. A HP fanfiction site is doing the "lawyers & copyrights" prank themselves. Mugglenet did it better. So does this mean more stupidly funny bits as the day goes on?
Nothing will top Leaky Mug.
Oh you guys are cruel! :)
THAT WAS SO MEAN! YOU COMPLETELY HAD ME AND I FREAKED OUT AND OMG.... SO MEAN!!!!!!!
haha... Happy April Fools day!!! (its my b-day in 12 days!!!)
Happy April Fool's Day :) That is all I have to say...>:) *slytherin smile*
that thing with dumbledore on the motorbike would be TOTALLY AWESOME if it was actually in the book.
hahahah wow that actually got me for a while
Nice one Mugglenet! Very funny.
You got me up until you said you were gonna tell us anyway. Then I caught on. Might have got me for longer if I hadn't just finished a joke on someone else lol
APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!Ha!Ha!
Ok, I have to say it, awesome April Fool's!!! I was totally shocked at first, and now I'm kinda disappointed that I would so eagerly read spoilers!! *sigh* The shame of it!!! Well, who can blame me, my birthday (July 16) is taking much longer than usual this year! Thanks for keeping the Weasly Twins alive and well on this site!!! **Peeves salutes you!!**
oh god, if i hadn't realized i probably would've had a seizure
Wow, I came on here just to see what you put up for 4/1 and i still fell for it, thats a nasty trick...all that stuff better come true now, haha
Hehe Happy April Fools Day! I read the first paragraph and I'm like cool, they got an interview with the publishers. Then I read a little more and realized.
Well that didn't get me because i logged on to see what they would do this year, but still totally hilarious!!!!!
I finally caught on about 5 minutes after seeing this. Oh I hate April Fools Day. :P
Haha, Happy April Fools to you guys too. I wonder if anyone's actually gullible enough to believe it... "Omg, you guys got to read DH?! No fair!!!" Lol.
that really got me. good job. Keep it up!
are you going to add more? these are really funny
haha.. very funny you guys! i was so scared when i heard the part about hermone turning evil.. i was about to call my friends and tell them that she turned evil.. until i read about ron in the weird sisters band... i relized it was april fools day! i laughed so hard... ok maybe not that hard... lol. wow, hey..... thats good joke though.... im so gonna pull that one on my friends when its april fools day!!!! but wuts weird is... its april fools in one hour in america....
i was taking it all in till snape became a love child of aberforth and a goat.and didnt wnt to be called a coward. very nice.. (sarcasm dripping from that "very nice")
Vagina... thats all i have to say...
LOL
IT GOT ME. I was gonna cry when i read the Hermione being on the dark side thing. GOSH! I didn't think it was a joke 'till I read the comments. IT IS SO NOT FUNNY. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS THINKING?!?!?!? Oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. Thank god it isn't real. If it was I am so NOT gonna read Book 7. The whole, hermione being on the dark side and snape being a goat. GOSH! DON'T EVERY DO THIS KIND OF THING AGAIN. WHERE DID YOU GUYS COME UP WITH SOMETHING LIKE THIS ANYWAY!?!? It stopped my heart.
You totally had me for a minute! Happy April Fools Day!
omg, you ppl r killing me! i seriously thought u guys were for real! nice joke!
Wow! I'm still laughing hysterically! I realized the reviews were jokes after the motorcycle thing, but I still didn't get that the whole thing was a joke or that it was April Fool's Day until read the comments on here. I guess it's halfway believable that the publishers would want to know how true diehard fans would feel about the book which would lead them to let the people behind Mugglenet test read it. I absolutely loved it... Almost just as heart-stopping as the Mugglenet closing one and nearly as funny as the Memerson one! And I love Jamie's last line the most. Hahahahaha!
lol, good one Mugglecast :D You didn't really get me, since I was expecting it, but still funny :D Happy April Fools Day!
HAHAHAHA!!! totally got ME!! I totally paused before the spoilers in a pool of cold sweat deciding wheather or not I should read them, and after shamefully deciding I would, I only realized what was going on when I read the bit about the goat! I actually checked the clock in my desktop for reassurance...well then, happy april fool's!!
Haha. i KNEW Aberforth and that goat were Snape's parents, but I'm shocked to see that Hermione took out the whole Ravenclaw house. I thought for sure she'd take out the Hufflepuffs first.
YEAH RIGHT!!!!
LMAO. Jamie. You made my year.
crap that frickin got me!
i wouldnt have doubted they let you read part of the book but as soon as i read the first little thing from you guys i just laughed and said ahhhhh gotta love april first
LOL! awesome. I don't think anything will ever top the psuedo-marriage last year but that was pretty good. I think the one about Olivander was my favorite. Nice one Andrew. I think JKR will appreciate it also.
despite reminding myself countless times past week about mnet's april fool's joke i still fell for it. *sigh* maybe next year...
Ahaha, for about 3 seconds I thought you were all going to jail.
OMG I totally fell for it!!!! I started bawling and crying!!! I totally forgot it was april fools!!!! I thought the carrot thing sounded off but I still didn't get it until I read the posts!!!! I gave me a frickn heartatack!!!! Ok yeah I'm lame.... and just put gullable on my forehead!!! THIS WAS NOT FUNNY!!!!!!
I hate you. At first I thought it was real and you guys were taunting us with the comments. I actually screamed and woke my sister up. You have no idea how much I hate you. : )
I hate to admit this but you actually had me believing you when I read the first part. I was actually sitting there in shock for a minute. Then I read the "Spoiler Alert" part and started to breathe properly again. I do not believe how I could not see this coming. I hope you are happy for almost giving me a heart attack because right now I am calling you guys some names that you should be really happy you can't actually hear. But I still love all you guys. =)
I can honestly say I didn't believe it for a second. "The Leaky Mug" indeed.
HATS OFF TO ALL YOU GUYS AT MUGGLENET...MAN..JUST YESTERDAY I WAS LIKE"OHH TOMORROWS APRIL FOOLS DAY ..WONDER WHAT MN WILL DO THIS YEAR"..AND STILL THEY COMPLETELY FOLLED ME..I SWAER I WAS RUNNING AROUND FOR A WHOLE MINUTE SCREAMING ABOUT SNAPE.hahahahahahahahaha. .. GREAT JOB AS ALWAYS...
Ha ha. Very funny. I believed the review part but after reading the first paragraph by Brendan...I was thinking either this was a joke or J. K. Rowling was on lolipops when she wrote the book.
Oh man! u had me in stitches!!!!!! i wish the books were as funny as you guys! well, happy april fools day to everyone!
This is even more lame than the joke from TLC. LOLZZZ. But very nice. My heart stopped for like half a second. And those reviews are hilarious.
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