MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
oh mugglenet.
CRAPOLA!!! You had me fooled until I read the comments. I really need to visit mugglenet more. So, Happy April Fool's on me and the gullible people like me.
Hey guys, thanks for that! now i'm prepared for tomorrow. otherwise i might have forgotten and got fooled by someone else, which would be more embarrassing cause i wouldn't just be alone in front of a computer! lol. and happy birthday to everyone's favourite red-headed twins! (unless of course you're a canucks fan - yay daniel & henrik! lol)
haha, that's pretty good. for a second i was like "NO WAY- oh wait it's April 1st." Nice job.
darn you Mugglenet you get me every year!!!! looool
If they really wanted to trick me they should have made it so you have to highlight it to read it. That would have been more believable. But seriously, why did they post it for most of the viewers of this site (I assume) to view on March 31st, instead of April 1st?
i dont know about all y'all, but it's not April Fool's Day in the US yet... We have approximatley 28 minutes till April First.
HAHAHA!!! good one...i fell for it when i read the title...but then realised that it was the 1st!! HAppy April Foolssss.............!!!
Wow i totally thought it was real at first lol...Jamie's review is by far my favorite. I wonder: what is the significance of the carrot cake? what is JK getting at? ;-)
Ha ha! I totally thought it was for real, and that the *spoilers* were just very subtle hints. Dumbledore's ressurection and descent on Sirius's motorbike was awesome. I wonder if we really will learn what happened to that motorbike.
Haha!!! April Fools on all of us!!!
omg mugglenet..atleast better than da leaky mug..but im not so easy 2 b fooled..i was waitin for da prank..!!
I was expecting it this time, guys! Especially after last year's "Memerson"!!!! Happy April Fools Day! :-D
i totally believed every word until i actually read the reviews. but before i read the actual reviews, i glanced at who had written the reviews, saw that andrew and jamie did, and got really excited for a special mugglecast or something XD good one mugglenet!
omg! i totally buyed it!! ha ha
OMG you guys TOTALLY got me!!!!!!!! when i saw the words dumbledore's ressurection and saw sirius' name i went "no way OMG OMG no way" for like 3 minutes. then i decided to read it all and i started laughing so hard!!!! happy April's fools day happy b day gred and forge!
That actually scarred me for a minute i was going to write "WHAT?? YOU GUYS SUCK!!" but then i looked at the date. HAHA! FUNNY! XD
HAHAHA!!!! The greatest APRIL FOOLS joke ever!!! It only took me reading that Snape was the long-lost love child of Aberforth and the goat. HAHAHAHA!!! That was so great!
I was waiting for some April Fools joke..lol..this one was nice.
Yeah yeah, Happy April Fools Day to you too, Mugglenet!
ROFL You guys are seriously EEEEEEBIL!! Happy April 1 to all! Abigail
still march 31 here on the west coast...so it took me a minute till i started reading the actual reviews!
SO I FELL FOR IT omg i was so angry i started reading the comments and was like wtf now i know?! and then i was like oh.. thank GOD. hahaha
ha ha ha ... my eyes nearly stuck out on that one... I was like... no way they can't have it before me... thatz not done. but then it clicked, its 1st april today and maybe its a April Fool's Joke. ... the staff's comments only cemented my thoughts... Anyways a far cry from last years biggy...... Luv, Te jas
I love how at the end Harry uses his muggle knowlege ands kills voldemort as James Bond! But really i can't believe Ben was in the book impersanating Hagrid impersanating a russian politic! And Micah i am so glad she dedicated her book to you and the pic of her in the i love micah shirt it is awsome book! Really and seeing Dobby sacriifice himself for Winky to kill Kreacher that brings a tear even a slytherin's eye*sobs as Levine did.*
OMG!!!!! u will not believe how long that got me for....almost all day!!!!
Wow, you guys really got me!!! Lol, that was a superb April Fool's joke. Anyway, where are all these cover art pictures coming from?
Hahahaa... Micah's one is still the best. And the only one that made me laugh out of the new ones was Natalie's
Oh, about the cover art, I figured it out, and now I feel stupid, very stupid... my apologies!
omg, that had me at first, but the second I saw that snape was the love child of aberforth, it raised a few signs. clever ideas from the writers, though. HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!!! Happy birthday Fred and George!!!
Good one for the first 7 seconds, a brilliant one lol!!!!! One of the best ones you have got. I just woke up and I was like WHAt? Wow, holy shhh. That can´t be but then realization caught up with me, it´s fred´s and george´s birthday, do I need to say more? lol
I came on MuggleNet just to see what they had done so it didn't fool me. Never beat Memerson though...
This was wayyyyy better than last year's April Fools! You had me going for about 2.5 seconds! : )
This time it was a bit obvious. The one time you really had me going was two years ago - when Mugglenet was supposed to have been shut down.
*dies laughing* Omg, how I love you guys~ You and Livejournal totally made my day(night) with these jokes :3
and the dumbledore resurrection - FREAKED ME OUT, i stopped reading after i read that and flipped out thank GOD it was joke
HAHAHA. too bad it didn't match last year's
Didn't fall for it for a minute... But, it was funny...
LMAO! Ohh man, my heart stopped and then I went ---wait, Holly. Before you read this, realize you're on mugglenet and that it is officially April 1st--- You guys.... Happy April Fool's day!!!
I skipped this twice before...I was sure the staff DID get to read the book. Good April Fool's joke!
I love you guys. This was even better than last year's...teehee...*wipes tears of hysterical laughter*
That was brilliant! Forget the real Deathly Hallows, I want to read more of this version!
Wow, you guys got me for a moment. Haha
You totally got me for a few seconds there but then I remembered. I was so freaked out there for a moment.
Ok, so my friend and I are sitting here, totally flipping out, but then I caught the words 'goat', 'lovechild' and 'pink shirt'. Nice try, guys. Happy April Fools and happy birthday Fred and George! Hee, that was funny.
OMG...my heart totally stop beating until I realised it was April Fool's Day. Good one!
I want Memerson back!!!
haha good joke
LoL I seriously went to MuggleNet JUST to see what the April Fools joke would be, they're always so funny!!! Great job guys, I was ROFL! Oh, and Happy Birthday Gred and Forge!!!
Ha ha, Happy April Fools Day! I was totally freaking out at first when I read the introduction! Good one mugglenet, although I must say that Leakymug is the all-time classic.
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