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MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
and to add to that.. Harry will star teaching defence against the dark arts
I suppose i should laugh. I was just thinking the other day what will mugglenet do for this years April fools prank. Decent i suppose though i knew right away it was hoax, alas a nice effort. Off to Leaky to see what they have.
hahahah i hate you guys so much :)
Quite amusing... "cow"ard. haha.
oh, april fools, how i love thee HAHA
And on April Fools Day as well? Goshhhh.... isn't that just a HUGE coiniki-dink?! Ahhhhhhh I wish it were so, I wish it were so.... but I don't think they would really be that stupid. Of course we fans want to be spoiled! =D The best one was the Memerson LeakyMug thing. God I cracked up at that!
funny...MEAN...but funny
Happy April Fool's Day everyone!!
That was cruel! I actually got excited until I remembered the date! *is embarrassed!* :~P Happy April fools day!
ok.... you definitely fooled me on the first two lines...then.. it started to get very weird and my eyebrows were showing signs of permanent disappearance already... This was funny!!! But that first comment was just... whew!... I believed that!! grrrr....
Lol - I can indeed be pretty slow sometimes, but even the first review was so unreal and unimaginable that I finally remembered! I have to admit I liked last year's idea a little better - maybe because I couldn't work out what was going on for much longer! - but still great attempt, MuggleNet, Happy April Fool's Day to everyone!
Haha. That totally had me going for a minute... until I read the Snape being aberforth's love child thing. I got so excited for a minute. XDD I'm too impatient for this. I want book seven to come out tomorrow. T_T
OMGG lmaooooooo i srsly believed it....gosh im so gullableee haha funny....i was wondering why would they let ppl read the book .... april fools to u too ....2nd time today lol
Hehehe. Very clever. April fools day.
I actually fell for it for a sec!!!
I'll MURDER you guys one of these days!!!!!!!!!!!!! Honestly....
funny! happpy AFs day!
I can't believe I actually believed it for a second, when I had been preparing myself for it! :D
You really had me when I read through the first paragraph. But after that, I was like... thanks for another great April Fool's Day, Mugglenet!! :) HPFF did something this year like you did last year :)
love it!!!! part goat. it's fantastic!
Haha hilarious. For a second there I ... well. Nice one.
it's so sad, but i ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS REAL. like, my eyes slipped down to "dumbledore's triumphant resurrection" and I was like darn WHY DID YOU GIVE THE darn BOOK AWAY darn darn darn and i was really angry, and wanted to see what other people thought of it being spoiled, and then everybody's like "april fool's!" HAHAHAHAHAA
April Fools. xP almost got me here!
I was reading the initial paragraph rather believingly, then I got to the spoilers... me being a total sucker for all things spoilerific, I read the first one... with raised eyebrows, and then the second one, where I burst out laughing. I will never think of Snape or goats in the same way again... *sniggers* And only ten minutes ago I was saying that I wouldn't fall for any April Fools jokes on the net for the next couple of days... So much for THAT!! >_>
alright so you got us all...april fools!!! i have to admit i was pretty stunned till i realized what day it was...
WOW! Ollivander comes back and Remus leads the order, right? Please tell us more... *Sarcasm*. I'm glad I remembered the date. =D "I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie Hahahaha. XD So that's why the sky is orange! Aha! XD
Jeez, I'm so dence. I actually believed them untill I got to the Snape being the love goat of Aberforth and the goat. That was really mean, guys!! I was terrified that Dumbledore would come back! Man, that was cruel....but genuis!
It was very funny :-D... Last years was better, though. But that one would always be hard to top ;-)
LMAO too cute.
OMG wow that's not even funny thought it was real I even asked my sister what she thought of it she said I was stupid and that it was for april fools day you should have seen how far my jaw dropped when you said hermione joined the dark side!!!!! lol too funny
You guys totally had me!!!!! Not until I read the comments (just to see what other fans thought of this incredible and exciting news) did I realize that today is April 1st!! bah! you guys are terrible! Micah's review is, by far, my favourite. Did you see what Leaky did? ... it was so two years ago ...
*yawns* lame...
darn i managed to avoid being fooled all day! and then!!... i read this and fall for it!!! darn! ... but it was really funny ^^
oh god, you got me for a moment!!!! i was beginning to swore very loudly that i realized the day!! you guys are so evil!!!
This would be believeable had it not strted with "the resurrection of dumbledore" lol happy April fools guys! ;)
"Discovering that Dumbledore is half a werewolf was a nice twist, but wasn't all together surprising; after all, he did wear half-moon spectacles." Hee hee. Sorry, I'm just bored.
Regulus_Black: "I actually believed them untill I got to the Snape being the love goat of Aberforth and the goat." *hiccups*...... . LOVE...... GOAT!..... *dies laughing*
April Fools day! You didn't trick me at all, this time. Mugglenet closing got me, but this one didn't. It was to obvious and not believable at all, sorry guys. (But I knew you were going to trick us, so... I guess I was prepared for everything.... perhaps.)
Haha Happy April Fools' Day, everyone at Mugglenet. Keep dreaming!
Y.O.U! You had me wondering how on earth the publishers were able to give you that book to read and tolerate you lot posting this online and WHAM.... God HELP ME! I'm a super fool! (~_^)
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY EVERYONE!!! :)
I love April 1st. Wonderful article.
I would hate it if you actually posted spoilers, so YAY for the April Fools joke! :D
Nice try, guys. I was wondering what you had up your sleeves this year...
There is no beating the LeakyMug and the Memerson wedding...but nice try guys!!
HAHAHAHA LMAO! You guy's are EVIL! Some poor people are going to totally think this is true. But they are pretty funny!
LOL. no one's falling for that one after what they did last year!!! That was funny though!
Happy April Fools Day to you too, guys! You actually had me terrified that you'd given away the plot for a minute! I was like "DON'T LOOK AT THE SCREEN!! DON'T LOOK AT THE SCREEN!! But then I remembered the date and ran round the house frantically yelling at my parents asking if today was April 1st, just to make sure... They may think I'm losing it...
That got me good. I totally believed it until I started reading the rest of it.
Ohh, I love April Fools Day! Mugglenet closing was the best prank, though.
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