MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
Ohh, I love April Fools Day! Mugglenet closing was the best prank, though.
You so got me up until the second one about Aberforth and the goat. I really believed the intro and the one about the motorbike. Yeah, gullible I know.
XD I was prepared, so I didn't fall for it. but it was fun to read anyway ;D
that got me for a moment... then i rememberd it's april fools day! HOORAY! nice one, mugglenet :)
omg, you totally got me for a couple of seconds... i almost had a heart attack!
LOL. I was practically smashing my desk, laughing at the "cow"ard one and the carrot cake one.
Jeeesh, freaked me out for a moment :D Snape - a half goat ? ;DDDDD maaan, that was great ;D
oh gosh....this was so NOT funny!!I almost fainted when i read the first lines,,,
*giggles inanely*
i just remembered....HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED AND GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I logged on just to see what prank you guys would pull. I saw it coming :(
I was so upset...i read 'dumbledores resurrection..' and thought NOOOO..its all been spoilt now!! hehe..well done...excellent joke!
Wow, I cannot believe I fell for it... again. I got up to the part where it said Hermione turned to the dark side and I was like "WTF? Seriously?!" Then I remembered that it was April Fool's day... so yeah, nice one! But next time - I WILL be ready for it!!! Still, I believed the rest... how sad is that? I knew there was something off about the spoilers, it just didn't click until the 'Hermione killed the Ravenclaws' part. Should've realised you wouldn't post spoilers.
This is so NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was really worried bout Hermione!!!! NOT COOL
hehe funny, you made me giggle even if you didnt fool me happy April fools day guys!
Actually, re-reading it. I would have got the joke sooner, but for some reason I missed the part where it said that Snape was the long lost child of Aberforth (sp?) and THAT GOAT. That's a dead give away and I missed it, lol!
Oh my God, you guys totally freaked me out!!! I couldn't believe at the news first, then I read the first line of the Dumbledore's resurection thing, and I was so horrified that I immediately skipped to the next news! And then it hit me! I knew it was April Fools day, but I had no idea you crazy people pull out this kind of global pranks, I discovered Mugglenet only a few months ago! Thank God it's not true! I was horrified, I couldn't believe Jo would write something like that! Good work, guys! Happy April Fools Day!
Very funny guys! You really had me going for a minute there! Well done! hahahahaha! That was so funny, well done. I loved it! Happy April Fools Day!
omg straight after i read the one on hermione i almost cried then i realised the date an was soooooooo humilated to myself like jo would write something that crazy but i thought those were pretty good
april fools!!!!!
Jamie, Micah you are particularly highly amusing dear fellows! Hehe! I didn't fall for it, but was rather titilating indeed! Just the perfect topping for someone who got tickets for Glastonbury this morning! Oh yes! This summer is going to be awesome! Absolutely amazing! Wonderful wonderful wonderful! Lots of fantastic distraction until Deathly Hallows arrives and then I'll be crying from a simultaneous wave of sublime bliss and gut wrenching sorrow. Hmm... Waterstones are doing a bereavement help line for DH, yes? Think I'll pop that in my phone book now then... xoxox
gud joke. i likes the snape ones they were gud. i didnt fall for them cos i knew mugglenet would do something like this.
hehe, happy april fools to you too. That was cool, funny comments...
When I read the first part of the first comment I thought it was true and was annoyed that it was spoiled to me...then I remembered what day it was haha
That would be the second April Fool's Day joke on the net! I'm so gutted i haven't gotten to play any pranks but prank calls just aren't cool anymore - good idea for the Future books though JKR should have thought of some of those!
LOL april fools!!!!!!!!
OMG that was sooo funny. I loved it! Though I did expect you guys to do something like that :D
You know the stupid thing is, i got pulled in right until they said Hermione killed all the ravenclaws.. HOW DUMB AM I
LMFAO aw you guys!
APRIL FOOLS!!!! THAT WAS OMG SZO HILARIOUS! OLLIVANDERS.....WE MISSED YOU!!!!
well the moment i noticed that snape's mother was prince not a goat :D:D
i was SO EXCITED then... but i was crushed when i realised that it was their April Fool's day joke.... GRRRRR to them *shakes fist*
lol...Happy April Fool's Day!....I read the headline and was like "omg", but after the first shock seconds grew more thoughtful, read it again...and realized! XD..it would have been far more convincing though if it hadn't been this hilarious...still well done!
Mugglenet staff- will you delete this article when April Fool's DAy is over?
its April fools...right? i nearly believed it for a moment and the i realized hey its April fools..lol
Well, I'll admit I actually believed the first one, and was about to cry when I read the following statement: "Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat" Hilarious. Happy April foo's day! Oh! and wait a second? How can there be a new wizard of the month?! Isn't it Fred and George's birthday???? I'm scared now....
OMG...I DONT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT!!!!LOL omg...i got seriously excited then and then read up to the one about snape being aberforths lost love thingy and i was like whhhaaatttt????????then i realised.....ha ha ha ha ha ha yeah mugglenet you got me there!!!!!!! i really did believe the first one......darn you mugglenet.......LOL
OMG! I actually believed it for the first one!!! After reading a few more, I remembered about April Fool's Day. lol GOOD JOB MUGGLECAST!
LOL!!! Good one!!!
Not as funny as Mermerson but a very good laugh. I particularly enjoyed Sirius Blacks decent from Heavan on a motorbike, as any Snape lover will tell you Sirius is currently toasting in hell. michelle xxx
Hahaha! Got me there for a minute, great aprils fools day joke!
Didn't get me for a second, but still incredibly amusing, but it can't possibly beat 'LeakyMug' or the closing one. Those were awesome. I'm extremely gullible, so I sort of hate April Fool's Day, but this didn't fool me because I was expecting it. Hehe. ;D
haha i definately fell for it until i read teh 2nd one...the motorbike one i was like thats odd...and then i was like ooo n/m i had even texted my friend "OMG LOOK AT MUGGLENET" and then i was like "n/m" ha and i didn't even connect it to April Fools day until i looked at the comments
omg.....i was like nnnooooooo when i read the first one dumby's ressurection......i was like now uve spoilt it......ha ha ha i dont believe i fell for it !!!!!!!!!!!!wwwoooo happy april fools everybody!!!!! let live and prank i say.....
lol HAPPY APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!! omg you totally had me fooled, my heart stopped and i quickly scrolled down to read the other news items and got a glimpse of 'snape being the long lost child of aberforth' so i read the other news items, and my curiosity got the better of me so i read the comments and realised it was a joke!!!!! lol the comments were hilarious
I fell for it!!! XD Happy April Fools day!!!!
Ack! You guys had me there for a second, then I remembered. Nice one with Hermione killing all of the Ravenclaws...classic!
I actually fell for it. I bought it hook, line and sinker! I was afraid to even start reading, because I wasn't sure I wanted to know ahead of time. Then I read that Dumbledore is ressurected and I shouted out to my husband in great excitement, "Dumbledore isn't dead!" Then I read that Snape is half goat and I still didn't get the joke. I was very puzzled though...but still bought it. It wasn't until I read that Hermione had switched to the dark side that I started getting a clue. Oh yeah, you got me, you got me good! That was a great, really great April fools joke guys!
This is what happened to me.... I read the post everything before the **Spoiler Alert** sign, and said to myself. "Well... that's it for me. I'm not going to spoil the last book." Later when I opened the site again, my eyes fell on the "Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection...." bit, and I was like NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I blamed myself..... for not being to cautious!!!!!!!! And then I realised.... Happy April Fools day!
Happy April Fools!!! This is a bit of a let down after last years marriage prank.
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