MuggleNet reviews 'Deathly Hallows' (or not)
Happy April Fools'! We hope you enjoyed our prank this year. Judging by the comments, if it showed one thing, it's that most people will read Book 7 spoilers if they can get their hands on 'em (though, admittedly, we did make our "reviews" somewhat hard to avoid)!
Check out the joke at the link below.
Check out the joke at the link below.
Last Sunday, we received a very, very surprising call from the Harry Potter publishers. They wanted us to have a preview of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. As you can imagine, we were utterly flabbergasted. We, just like you, weren't ready to read the book, but we couldn't pass up that opportunity, now could we?
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
**Spoiler Alert**
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
There's a catch. The publishers requested we only inform them of our thoughts on the book, and not post them online. But we really can't do that to you guys! Only a few of our staff members have so far finished it, and a little glimpse at their feelings can be read below. More will be added throughout the day. Enjoy... and shhh!
"Dumbledore's triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius' motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary...but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1." -Brendan
"I couldn't believe Snape was the long lost love child of Aberforth and that goat. It explains so much, including Severus' appearance. And we now know why he told Harry to never call him a 'cow'-ard, because he was in fact part goat." -Micah
"It was great to find out what happened to Ollivander. I loved it when he walked into the Order meeting wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and sunglasses and received a room full of blank stares. It was particularly funny when Lupin turned and said, 'Well, look who decided to show.'" -Andrew
"I always had an inkling that there was more to Hermione; her immediate knack with magic, and her irregular mood swings towards supposed 'friends,' Harry and Ron. I should have known she'd switch to the Dark side eventually. I just wish she hadn't killed the whole of Ravenclaw in the process - I suppose it was just her annoyance at not being sorted there initially." -Ciaran
"Funny how things turn out, who would have thought Ron would become the ninth member of The Weird Sisters. Ron with long hair and living the rock star life? Shocking!" -Rachel
"I couldn't believe Harry slipped on a slice of carrot cake and fractured his pelvis. I thought it was uncalled for humor in an otherwise serious and superb book." -Jamie
"I never thought the wizarding world would get their revenge on Snape; however, I commend JKR for proving me wrong. The Order using spells to hold Snape down and wash his hair multiple times was the worst kind of punishment imaginable for him." -Mandie
"So Dudley's worst memory when attacked by the Dementor was being told he had to diet." -Nick
"I still laugh every time I think about Draco and those geese. I guess it's not just sleeping dragons you're not suppose to tickle." -Natalie
"Who knew that J.K. Rowling would employ the use of the often-frowned-upon literary technique referred to only as 'the dog ate my homework gag,' when justifying the location of the seventh Horcrux?!" -Eric
"I was completely shocked to discover that Cedric Diggory has been alive this whole time, getting his laughs in by standing behind the veil and whispering. As for Sirius... all I can say is after a year of making that thing flow in the wind, Cedric was in need of a 'Sirius' snack!" -Laura
"The symbolic revelation that Dumbledore is actually an Animagus living in the form of a bumblebee does not do much to disprove the theory that Harry Potter is a children's book. However, after Voldemort's tragic and gruesome death caused by the shift in gravity and the moon falling down to earth, crushing him beneath it, I'm pretty sure this is a book mothers all over the world will be keeping far away from their children." -Roni
"I should have known that Luna was Harry's mother Lily in disguise. They're so similar to each other!" -Emily
"Well, we all guessed it ages ago but now it's finally confirmed - Dumbledore is the Giant Squid!" -Becky
"I knew it! I knew it! When the Muggles came and totally obliterated everyone at the final battle, I was totally ready for it. Although, I admit killing every major character in the series was going a bit overboard, especially when Neville got hit by that bus after all was said and done. I didn't know JKR had it in her!" -Tom
"Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!" -Rachael
"I can't help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would've thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!" -K'lyssa
"I think this is the first time I've ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo's decision to make Voldemort's eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o' gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, 'This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!' Honestly..." -Ryan
Posted by Ciaran on Mar 31st |
1116 Comments
Visitor Comments
Haha. Happy April Fool's. Totally got me for a minute there.
Nice one guys, you had me for the first paragraph:) OMG top 400, like wow, that so cool, like LOL (jeez people, nobody cares what number your post is!)
Ammusing but doesn't live up to last year.
this is better then leaky's april fools day joke. and yes, i know that i used incorrect grammer, but it's spring break and i don't care! i'm not in english class
Still not sure whether to read it or not!!!! You are so bad!!!! I'm in shock!!!!
Unlike last year, I am aware that is is April 1st and April Fools Day. Last year I completely forgot, and totally fell for the LeakyMug prank. This was really funny to read, but not nearly as elaborate as last year. :( But anyway, good job guys!
haha very funny. you got me for a minute. once i got to the comment about Hermoine going to the Dark Side, I was like, wait just a second lol. good one.
I was going crazy when i first read this. then i saw the date.....still not as good as Leaky Mug though
Oh, I love the mugglenet staff! You all make me laugh
OMG!!!!! APRIL FOOLS!!!!! ALmost as good as memerson!!!
great prank you guys. my friend and i were guessing the prank would be that emerson would love college too much and sell mugglenet to leaky so when you went to the website, it redirected you to leaky.
haha that was funny! i just wish it was real! or then, maybe not...
OMG, that one was definately better than last year, I think! You guys totally got me! Then i read the comments and the quotes. That kinda disproved my theory. lmao . . nice one!
OMG! For a minute there, i was like "SNAPE IS ABERFORTH'S SON? WTF?" But then I realized it's April 1st
haha, april fool's day guys! I actually believed it at first, until i read the part about snape being part goat, lol. :]
omg...i thought it was 4 real, i mean i got so shocked whn i read tht hermione went over to the dark side!!!!=o lolzz...tht i remebered april fools, nice idea!!
Oh, suuuuuch an april fools joke!!!!!! I was just WAITING to see what they had up their sleeves this year..... lol
AHHHHHH!!! MUGGLENET U HAD ME FREAKING OUT!! I BELIEVED U UNTIL I READ THE COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOO FUNNY THOGUH CANT WAIT FOR NEXT YEARS!
HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that got me for a sec!!
haahahhaha thats funny. i wonder where they came up with those.
Curses! Mugglenet got me once again! April Fools Day everyone! ha ha.
last years was a lot funnier
hah awe man that was great. i believed it, too until i read the reviews. the date was misleading! it was absolutly amazing. you rock, babes. happy april fools day!
Ha Ha. This is an April fool's joke- not half as good as last years!
ohmygod, that scared the SHIZZNIT out of me!!!! I started screaming when i read the snape love child part.... then I read the comments and I completely forgot what day it was..... wow.....haha, I love you guys.... JUST DON'T DO IT AGAIN.
haha wow that actually had me going for a minute!
lol funny guys..i believed it for a minute...lol
APRIL FOOLS! Haha..Snape a goat child?! --Spartans?..A HHOO AHHOO
Hahahahaha... Nice goin' Mugglenet!
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. At first I was like.. NO.WAY.THIS.RUINS.MUGGLEC AST. But then I read the reviews and got it. I must say I like Micah's the best. That one & Jamies made me laugh out loud actually! Haha good job MuggleNet.. you had me going then I was like.. "UM.. WHY DID THEY DO THIS?" Then I was like oh.. April 1. Love ya'll. Peace.
You evil little... LOL The funny thing was, I really can believe that the publisher's would give you an advance copy! And the moment I saw "Spoiler Alert" I couldn't stop myself from reading on. I wanted to, but it was like a car wreck! Ah well. Happy April Fools! :D
Good one guys. I can just imagine some people taking this seriuosly though. I figured it out as soon as you said that publishers asked you not to post your thoughts but that you were going to anyway. You won't do that. Would you? :)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA =D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D XD that is by far the best april fools joke i have ever heard. way to go! rock on MuggleNet!
haha so when i read the first paragraph i was like WHAT!? Then I remembered how many april fools' jokes i've already pulled today and i was mad at myself for even believing it for one second.... HAPPY APRIL FOOLS' DAY!
I logged on for the sole purpose of finding out the joke... It was better last year (yay Memerson!) but this year was still pretty good, very believale posting it as a March 31 news.
You guys got me SO BAD. I definetly believed it, well, till I started reading them!!!
It feels so bad to read it. God damnit. WHY?!
I must admit when I read the title of this newspost I was completely excited. But as soon as I got to the Snape being Aberforth and the goats love child I knew this was just one of Mugglenets wonderful hilariously ingenuous April Fools jokes. I was wondering how they were going to top last years memorable Memerson. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
Funny! I thought it was for real until the Snape being Aberforth's child! Ha Ha!
Nice one, Happy Birthday Fred and George!
That totally had me until I started reading the reviews, and I was like... this isn't right...
I admit they did have me going for a couple seconds, i wondering if i should read it or not because i didnt think this would be their april fools joke, but then i scrolled down and read something that made no sense so happy april fools!! even though memerson was 1000x funnier
I've been fooled. LAMO, I totally almost pissed my pants with shock and excitement. Lol. Then I read the reviews. You guys are the best pranksters.
Hahahaha! Happy April Fools guys!
This totally tricke me for a minute!! Holyyyy!!!
As soon as Ciaron wrote about Hermione going to the dark side, I knew it was the joke. But I looked at the date posted and it was posted the 31st, so then i got concerned, but kept reading nonetheless. Of course the pumpkin pie/ weird sisters gave it away... Good Joke Muggleneters! Many people say it doesn't beat last year's, but I think it does!
YOU GUYS SHOULD HAVE POSTED THESE ON A DIFFERENT PAGE!! I DID WANT TO KNOW AND I ACCEDENTLY READ 2!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAH!
heeheheheeeheheheeeheehee heehehehe, good one, definately made my morning.
For a split second my heart stopped, but then I realized what day it is. xD Yay April Fools'!
Great Joke!
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