Author Archives: Keith

Voldemort is Alive


Dear Mr. Potter, It is with great concern that I am writing you, Mr. Potter. You see, I have read all seven volumes of your biography, written by Ms. Rowling, as well as seen all eight of the documentaries of your life. And there is but one thing that is left unanswered. I doubt anyone at Hogwarts would believe me, just as you felt when you were a student there. But I fear Voldemort was not entirely defeated. I know it sounds crazy, but please hear me out: Read More »

Charms versus Spells


Dear Professor Flitwick, I was wondering if you could tell me what the difference between a charm and a spell. Since you are the Charms teacher, I figured you would know a lot on the subject. Please write back. Sincerely, An Inquisitive Ravenclaw Read More »

Humble Hufflepuff


Dear Professor Sprout, How do you feel about how Hufflepuff house is sometimes treated and seen as the weaker house? Read More »

MuggleNet Fan Fiction’s Audiofictions’ Episode 175: ‘The Patronus Charm’


We're a bit late to the D.A. meeting this week. Wands out! Harry is teaching us the Patronus Charm, while the MerMuggles tell tales of James Potter, the Weasley twins and Hannah Abbott. Read More »

Nargles in Muggle World


Dear Miss Lovegood, I have been doing some reading on nargles, and I was hoping to ask you a question about your personal experiences with them. Did you find that they were more common and to be found in heavier concentrations near Hogwarts? Were the number of nargles less overall in the Muggle world? Read More »

What Is Love


Dear Miss Lovegood, What is love? Read More »

Gryffindor Alumnus


Dear Ronald Weasley, My family’s biannual reunion is approaching and I am dreading it. You grew up in a large family with quite a few interesting characters, how can I keep myself from murdering mine? Read More »

Confused Wizard


Dear Hermione Granger, How may a young wizard who is shy approach a witch he fancies? Are there certain steps or instructions you may know of that work? I ask you, and not your husband, Mr. Weasley, since you yourself stated that he has "...the emotional range of a teaspoon...". Read More »

Studious Gryffindor Student


Dear Hermione, I was sorted into Gryffindor not too long ago, and I've been made fun of by my fellow housemates for my study habits. I tend to answer every question asked in class and spend most of my time in the library. Although my marks are stellar, I'm feeling quite dejected and intellectually isolated. Snickers follow me in every class. I feel as though my peers don't understand me at all. What should I do? Read More »

Harmony Shipper


Dear Hermione Granger, Why did you choose Ron instead of Harry? "The greatest wizard deserves the brightest witch.." Read More »

Lost Vagabond


Dear Hermione Granger, I've noticed that there are two types of students. The ones that are naturally smart and the ones that have to work hard to do well. I am the type that has to work hard yet I still have trouble in school. I always get A-'s yet i get called things like bookworm and overachiever all the time. how can I become a better student? What can I do differently to achieve the best I can be? Also what is your advice on how to find yourself? Sometimes I feel like I am being someone else. I don't know who I really am and what I want to accomplish. Help?!?! Read More »

Worried Student


Dear Hermione Granger, I recently found out that Hogwarts keeps house-elves. I will be returning there soon for my third year, and I am worried that I will make too much work for them. What can I do? Read More »

Bogged Down Muggle Born


Dear House-Elves, Can I please borrow one of you for a day? I'd be very nice, and make sure you were treated well, and given breaks and refreshments...but I could really use your help in my house! Read More »

Nervous Student


Dear Hogwart’s House Elves, I recently got my acceptance letter and I am looking forward to going to Hogwarts but I’m worried about leaving Mother. Will you clean my clothes? Will you make my bed? Will you wash my socks? From, Nervous Student ( Age 11)   Dear Nervous Student, Thank you for your question future Master. I am sure you are looking forward to joining us here at the castle soon and we hope you enjoy your first year here, but before you come we suggest you appreciate your mother more. Hogwarts is a very large castle and though there are many of us you may need to be more patient. We would never say that you are a spoiled brat who needs to grow up and learn some manners…. From The Hogwarts House Elves. Read More »

Dueling Fan


Dear Professor Flitwick, I was going through some old photos and found some of you from when you were in your dueling prime. It got me wondering why you ever retired from that, and if it is frustrating just to teach after having such an exciting life. Thanks, Dueling Fan Read More »

Grieving Gryffindor


Dear Professor Snape, When I was only a first year I regretfully had my first love on a boy a couple years older than me. I am now heading into my seventh year and I still like this boy. Unfortunately I have recently learned that there is no way he could ever love me considering his sexuality. I know you can sympathize with me considering your past love didn't work out. (sorry) How can I get over him? Read More »

Slytherin of Troy


Dear Professor Snape, This is supposed to be a question for the professor of the Defense against the Dark Arts class. However, I am sort of doubtful of their teaching skills, and after hearing so many praises from my peers whilst you were taking over prof. Lupin's classes,I find myself inclined to seek out your guidance on the matter. The current research I am working on is dealing with the creature called the Lamia. The Lamia takes the form of a voluptuous woman who also has serpentine features,such as her lower half of the body, having the sense of smell with her tongue ,etc. Now, am I free to assume that the Lamia can be subdued if one knew Parseltongue? And I'd also ask of your personal input with dealing with the creature, should it attack you. How would you deal with it? Read More »

Regretful Ravenclaw


Dear Professor Snape, I recently attended an event where I had to deliver a speech, and I was terrified. A muggle-born friend of mine insisted that all I really needed was, "Dutch courage” and that I had to, “Imagine the audience naked." After three double Firewhiskeys I prepared to grace the stage, whilst clutching my wand in my hand for dear life. The good news is I managed half of my prepared speech without a hiccup. The bad news? I wordlessly banished the clothes of every audience member in the auditorium. What would you suggest I do to overcome my crippling, and frankly criminal stage fright? I've been threatened with a stint in Azkaban for indecent exposure, unless I can publicly apologize to the entire Wizarding Community for my recent transgressions. Read More »

Excited Gryffindor


Dear Professor McGonagall, I have a few questions for you, How is a muggle selected to be a student at Hogwarts? Did you go to Hogwarts when you were younger? Now that you are headmistress who is head of Grifendor? In Harry's fifth year you said you would help Harry become a Aour, did you really? Now I have some good comments about you, you have been my favorite Professor. I love how you give Harry discipline and you were one of his biggest supporter! I'm so excited that I can actually send a letter to you! Read More »

Future Animagus


Dear Professor McGonagall, How long does it take to learn how to become an animagus? How will I know what animal I will be? Read More »