Harry Potter series, and as a result we don't always agree with everything we post in our section. But we believe that allowing all opinions to have some exposure on the site is a worthy goal. That being said, many people will disagree with this editorial, and we respect that. We only ask that you respect each other.
Ron Loves Hermione and He Will _____ Her
An original editorial by king
Lets assume that Ron and Hermione are destined to be a couple, at least
for a short while, and try to guess whats in store for Hermione once Ron has
her. JKR is wonderfully clever when it comes to foreshadowing and she has
filled HBP with clues about the coming R/Hr relationship.
Frankly, Im uncomfortable with the idea of Hermione pairing up with Ron. It took me a while to figure out why I feel this way, but then I read this column by Jeanne Phillips, also known as "Dear Abby."
15 Reasons to Leave Your Lover: Warning Signs of an Abusive Personality
Something's just not right in your relationship, and you can't put your finger on it. So here's some help. If your mate is displaying a combination of these behaviors, then you may have a potential batterer on your hands.
1. A push for quick involvement: Comes on very strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone." An abuser pressures the woman for an
exclusive commitment almost immediately.
2. Jealousy: Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because "you might meet someone"; checks the mileage on your car.
3. Controlling: Interrogates you intensely (especially if you're late) about whom you talked to, and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.
4. Unrealistic expectations: Expects you to be the perfect woman and meet his every need.
5. Isolation: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble." The abuser may deprive you of a phone or car or try to prevent you from holding a job.
6. Blames others for problems and mistakes: The boss, you -- it's always someone else's fault if anything goes wrong.
7. Makes everyone else responsible for his feelings: The abuser says, "You make me angry" instead of, "I am angry" or, "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you." Less obvious is the claim: "You make me happy."
8. Hypersensitivity: Is easily insulted, claiming that his feelings are hurt when he is really mad. He'll rant about the injustice of things that are just part of life.
9. Cruelty to animals and to children: Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry. Sixty-five percent of abusers who beat their partner will also abuse children.
10. "Playful" use of force during sex: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex; says he finds the idea of rape exciting.
11. Verbal abuse: Constantly criticizes you, or says blatantly cruel, hurtful things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. This may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you up with relentless verbal abuse.
12. Rigid sex roles: Expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.
13. Sudden mood swings: Switches from sweetly loving to explosively violent in a matter of minutes.
14. Past battering: Admits hitting women in the past, but says they made him do it or the situation brought it on.
15. Threats of violence: Makes statements like, "I'll break your neck," or "I'll kill you," and then dismisses them with, "Everybody talks that way," or "I didn't really mean it." If he has come this far, it is time to get help, or get out!
So, is Ron Weasley potentially an abusive partner? Let's look at some examples from the books.
Jealousy, Controlling and Isolation
HBP pg. 186: Slughorn tells Hermione what Harry thinks of her.
Hermione turned to Harry with a radiant expression and whispered, Did you
really tell him Im the best in the year? Oh, Harry!
Well whats so impressive about that? whispered Ron, who for some reason
looked annoyed. You are the best in the year -- Idve told him so if hed
It seems to mean a lot to Hermione to be praised by Harry, but Ron shows
jealousy when Hermione acknowledges Harrys compliment.
HBP pg. 232: Harry and Hermione let Ron go ahead into the Great Hall while
they stay back for a short private talk about a confounded McLaggen.
Oh, be quiet, she snapped, as he smirked.
What are you two doing? demanded Ron, reappearing in the doorway to the
Great Hall and looking suspicious.
Again, Ron appears jealous of Hermione's attention toward Harry.
HBP pg. 172: Hermione tries to do her job as prefect.
Fanged Frisbees are banned, hand it over, she told him sternly. The
scowling boy handed over the snarling Frisbee, ducked under her arm, and took
off after his friends. Ron waited for him to vanish, then tugged the Frisbee
from Hermiones grip.
Excellent, Ive always wanted one of these.
Hermiones remonstration was drowned by a loud giggle
This isnt about taking away a Frisbee, its about taking away Hermiones
HBP pg. 218: Ron argues with Hermione about visiting Hagrid.
Weve got to go and explain, said Hermione
Weve got Quidditch tryouts this morning! said Ron. And were supposed to
be practicing that Aguamenti Charm from Flitwick! Anyway, explain
what? How are we going to tell him we hated his stupid subject?
I hate not talking to Hagrid, said Hermione, looking upset.
Well go down after Quidditch, Harry assured her.
Is Ron trying to cut Hermiones contact with Hagrid?
HBP pp. 281-282: The exchange in Herbology class.
Anyway, said Hermione continuing, "Slughorns going to have a Christmas
party, Harry, and theres no way youll be able to wriggle out of this one."
Ron...said angrily And this is another party just for Slughorns favorites, is it?
Just for the Slug Club, yes, said Hermione.
...when he (Harry) got back, Hermione was saying, Look, I didnt make up
the name Slug Club--
Slug Club repeated Ron with a sneer worthy of Malfoy. Its
pathetic. Well I hope you enjoy your party. Why dont you try hooking up
with McLaggen, then Slughorn can make you King and Queen Slug.
Were allowed to bring guests, said Hermione, who for some reason had
turned a bright boiling scarlet, and I was going to ask you to come but if
you think its that stupid then I wont bother.
You were going to ask me? asked Ron, in a completely different voice.
Hermione was talking to Harry and Ron butted in with a typical jealous
response. Then Ron has a rapid mood shift.
HBP pg. 219: Hermiones fanciable talk.
Oh come on, Harry, said Hermione, suddenly impatient. Its not
Quidditch thats popular, its you! Youve never been more
interesting, and frankly, youve never been more fanciable.
Ron gagged on a large piece of kipper. Hermione spared him one look of
disdain before turning back to Harry.
Everyone knows youve been telling the truth now...
...You can still see the marks on the back of your hand where that evil
woman made you write with your own blood, but you stuck to your story anyway...
You can still see where those brains got hold of me in the Ministry,
look, said Ron, shaking back his sleeves.
And it doesnt hurt that youve grown about a foot over the summer
either, Hermione finished, ignoring Ron.
Im tall, said Ron inconsequentially.
Hermione is talking sweetly to Harry and Ron is clearly jealous. He keeps
butting in with stupid comments: Ive got scars too! Im tall too! By the
way, Accio Brains
has got to be one of the dumbest spells cast in any of the books! Granted, Ron was severely affected by a spell, but when the brain comes to him, Ron doesnt like it. Hermione is something of a brain.
HBP pg. 293: The Felix Felicis incident.
"Ron, I warn you, dont drink it! Hermione said again alarmed...
But Ron said, Stop bossing me around, Hermione.
If someone said to you, Dont drink that! how would you respond? A. Dont boss me around! B. Uh, why? Rons response to Hermione is stupid, but to him its an issue of control.
HBP pg. 299: After the first Quidditch match.
...Hermione entered. She was twisting her Gryffindor scarf in her hands and looked upset but determined.
I want a word with you, Harry. She took a deep breath.
This was between Harry and Hermione. Hermione was upset because she thought
Harry had taken an unnecessary risk that could have gotten him expelled. A few moments later...
There really wasnt anything in my pumpkin juice? Ron said, astounded.
Harry shook his head. Ron gaped at him for a moment, then rounded on Hermione...
Ron butted in and tried to make his ability to play Quidditch the issue. Ron
takes control of the conversation and uses the opportunity to attack Hermione
when she is reeling from the shock of Harrys revelation.
HBP pg. 466: Harry asks Hermione about Apparation practice.
Howd you do Hermione?
Oh, she was perfect, obviously, said Ron, before Hermione could
answer...you shouldve heard Twycross going on about her -- Ill be
surprised if he doesnt pop the question soon --"
And what about you? asked Hermione, ignoring Ron.
Ron acts jealous of Hermione. He belittles her skill and tries to control her conversation with Harry even though he is dating Lavender. Hermione however has mellowed a bit since Ron was almost poisoned and she does not retaliate. She focuses on Harry.
Blames Others for Problems and Mistakes
HBP pg. 326-327: In the kitchen at the Burrow over Christmas break.
Aaah, George, look at this. Theyre using knives and everything. Bless
Ill be seventeen in two and a bit months time, said Ron grumpily, and then Ill be able to do it by magic!
But meanwhile, said George... we can enjoy watching you demonstrate the correct use of a -- whoops-a-daisy!
You made me do that! said Ron.
Ron places the blame for his clumsiness on his twin brothers.
HBP pg. 476: Ron fails his Apparation test.
Bad luck, mate, but youll pass next time -- we can take it together.
Yeah, I spose, said Ron grumpily. But half an eyebrow! Like that
Now its the examiners fault.
OotP pg. 229: Harry and Ron play hangman during History of Magic class.)
How would it be, she asked them coldly as they left the classroom for
break (Binns drifting away through the blackboard), if I refused to lend you
my notes this year?
Wed fail our O.W.L.s, said Ron. If you want that on your conscience,
Well, youd deserve it, she snapped. You dont even try to listen to
him, do you?
We do try, said Ron. We just havent your brains...
Its just in teasing but Ron is implying that Hermione has a responsibility to help him pass because she has the talent to do so.
Unrealistic Expectations and a Tendency to Take That Which is Not Freely Offered
HBP pg. 105: Hermione plays Quidditch!
He spent most of his days playing two-a-side Quidditch in the Weasleys
orchard (he and Hermione against Ron and Ginny; Hermione was dreadful and
Ginny good, so they were reasonably well matched.)
Why didnt Ron play with Hermione? Is it because he doesnt want a dreadful
teammate? Does Ron want to win? Is Harry more tolerant of Hermiones faults?
GoF pp. 104-105: At the Quidditch World Cup.
Excellent! yelled Ron as the shamrock soared over them, and heavy gold
coins rained from it...
Leprechauns! said Mr. Weasley...
There you go, Ron yelled happily, stuffing a fistful of gold coins into Harrys hand, for the Omniculars! Now youve got to buy me a Christmas
In GoF Ron is just beginning to show a tendency to expect others to provide easy magical answers to his problems. He also shows a tendency to want to control Harry.
HBP pg. 122: In Fred and Georges shop.
Thats three Galleons, nine Sickles and a Knut, said Fred, examining the
many boxes in Rons arms. Cough up.
Im your brother!
And thats our stuff youre nicking.
Ron tries to take advantage of his family, taking that which is not offered. Soon after this, Ron takes several boxes, including some extendable ears, out of the shop under Harrys Invisibility Cloak when they follow Malfoy.
HBP pg. 449: Rons essay on dementors is a mess because he has been relying on a spell-checking quill which he probably didnt pay for.
Ah no! said Ron, staring horror-struck at the parchment. Dont say
Ill have to write the whole thing again!
Its okay, we can fix it, said Hermione...
I love you, Hermione, said Ron...
Hermione turned faintly pink, but merely said, Dont let Lavender hear
you saying that.
Ron says, I love you. But does Ron really love Hermione or does he
love it when she acts the part of a perfect little helper who solves his
problems for him?
HBP pg. 614: Discussing Bills facial wounds.
Dumbledore might know something thatd work, though, Ron said. Where
is he? Bill fought those maniacs on Dumbledores orders, Dumbledore owes him,
he cant leave him in this state--"
Ron wants easy magical solutions to his problems and if he doesnt have
the talent to do a needed spell he expects those that do have the talent to
help him out.
HBP pg. 618: Ron assigns fault after the battle.
--Peruvian instant darkness powder, said Ron bitterly. Fred and
Georges. Im going to be having a word with them about who they let buy
Ron thinks merchants should be responsible for what their customers do
with the things they buy.
HBP pg. 103: O.W.L.s arrive.
Hermione? said Ginny tentatively, for Hermione still hadnt turned
around. How did you do?
Oh, come off it, said Ron, striding over to her and whipping her
results out of her hand. Yep -- ten Outstandings and one Exceeds
Hermione wasnt quite ready to share her scores with Ron, so he took what he wanted anyway. JKR chose an interesting way to write it: striding over to her and whipping her result out of her hand, not: striding over to
her and grabbing the paper... or taking the letter, but whipping her
Verbal Abuse and Cruelty to Pets and Children (and Ghosts)
"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats
his inferiors, not his equals."
GoF pg. 525
GoF pg. 56: Rons a little bit irritable with his owl.
Rons old rat, Scabbers, was here no more, but instead there was the tiny
gray owl that had delivered Rons letter to Harry in Privet Drive. It was
hopping up and down in a small cage and twittering madly.
...said Ginny, Its proper name is Pigwidgeon.
Yeah and thats not a stupid name at all, said Ron sarcastically..."Ive got to keep him up here because he annoys Errol and Hermes. He annoys me too, come to that.
Harry knew Ron too well to take him seriously.
By itself this incident with Pig doesnt mean much but it could be the
start of a pattern of behavior that Harry should take seriously.
GoF pg. 405: Pigwidgeon returns with a message from Sirius.
...a group of third year girls paused and said, Oh look at the weeny owl! Isnt he cute?
Stupid feathery little git! Ron hissed, hurrying up the stairs and
snatching up Pigwidgeon. You bring letters to the addressee! You dont hang
around showing off!
Pigwidgeon hooted happily, his head protruding over Rons fist. The
third year girls all looked very shocked.
Clear off! Ron snapped at them, waving the fist holding Pigwidgeon...
Ron has an owl but he doesnt seem to appreciate it. Maybe Pigs not as good as Hedwig. Would Ron appreciate a girlfriend any more? He got bored with Lavender pretty fast and Hermione has a tendency to run and hug Harry.
HBP pg. 288: Ron passes a transfigured Slytherin in the hall.
Oi, out of the way! Ron barked at a small girl who jumped in
The little girl was Crabbe or Goyle, but Ron didnt know that when he snapped at her.
HBP pg. 163: Ron's interaction with Nearly Headless Nick.
I would rather die than betray his trust.
Thats not saying much, seeing as youre already dead, Ron observed.
Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe, said Nearly Headless Nick in affronted tones.
Ron often shows disregard for Nearly Headless Nick's feelings.
HBP pg. 171
Its rude to point, Ron snapped at a particularly minuscule first-year boy
promptly turned scarlet and toppled out of the hole in alarm. Ron
sniggered. I love being a sixth year.
HBP pg. 257
It wasnt a very slick attack, when you stop and think about it, said Ron,
casually turfing a first year out of one of the good armchairs by the fire so
that he could sit down.
Ron pushes around a smaller child, Hermione defends the child. Is this her
Youre right, said Hermione, prodding Ron out of the chair with her foot and offering it to the first year again.
HBP pp. 290-293: Several examples of Ron becoming verbally aggressive appear in these pages.
- Cold shouldering Ginny and Dean
- Treating a hurt and bewildered Hermione with an icy sneering indifference
- He swears at several frightened first years.
- He reduced Demelza Robins to tears in Quidditch practice.
I resign. Im pathetic. Ron shows a sudden mood shift from aggressive to defeated.
- Ron ignores Lavender when she tries to cheer him up.
HBP pg. 462: Ron torments Myrtle for the sake of amusement.
But I thought he liked me, she said plaintively. Maybe if you two
left, hed come back again...We had lots in common...Im sure he felt it...
When you say you had lots in common, said Ron sounding rather amused
now, dyou mean he lives in an S-bend too?
Never you mind! said Myrtle, her small leaky eyes fixed on Ron, who
was definitely grinning. I promised I wouldnt tell anyone and Ill take his
secret to the--"
--not the grave, surely? said Ron with a snort. The sewers maybe...
Myrtle gave a howl of rage...Goading Myrtle seemed to have put fresh
heart into Ron.
HBP pg. 310: Several days after Hermione attacked Ron with the birds.
Ron retaliated by doing a cruel but accurate impression of Hermione jumping up and down in her seat every time Professor McGonagall asked a
question, which Lavender and Parvati found deeply amusing and which reduced
Hermione to the verge of tears again.
Shes a bit upset, said Luna. ...She said something about that Ron
Yeah, theyve had a row, said Harry.
He says very funny things sometimes, doesnt he? said Luna, as they set off down the corridor together. But he can be a bit unkind. I noticed that last year.
I spose, said Harry. Luna was demonstrating her usual knack of
speaking uncomfortable truths.
*Ron publicly humiliates Hermione, belittling both her academic ability
and her insecurities about grades. JKR then speaks through Luna. Ron can
Insensitivity to the Pain of Others
HBP pg. 349: Ron says a rather insensitive thing to a woman he loves.
Yeah dont worry about us, said Ron, permitting his mother to plant a
very wet kiss on his cheek, or about Percy. Hes such a prat, its not
really a loss is it?
Mrs. Weasley sobbed harder than ever as she enfolded Harry in her arms.
...and the woman Ron loves ends up hugging Harry.
HBP pg. 373: Ron shows jealousy of Harrys relationship with Slughorn and
minimizes the problems that Harry is facing as he attempts to get information
that Slughorn is withholding from Dumbledore.
He loves you, he said over breakfast, waving an airy forkful of fried
egg. Wont refuse you anything will he? Not his little Potions Prince. Just
hang back after class this afternoon and ask him.
GoF pg. 372: Ron and Harry are talking about Divination class.
At least we didnt get homework. I hope Hermione got loads off Professor Vector, I love not working when she is...
Will Ron help Hermione with the housework? R/Hr shippers think marriage
would stop the bickering!
HBP pg. 98: Harry reveals the Prophecy.
Hermione emerged, coughing, out of the smoke, clutching the telescope and
sporting a brilliantly purple black eye.
I squeezed it and it -- it punched me! she gasped.
Dont worry, said Ron, who was plainly trying not to laugh. Mumll
fix that, shes good at healing minor injuries--"
Ron reveals that he thinks its funny and minor when Hermione feels pain. Hermione reveals a concern for Harry to the point of ignoring her own pain.
Hypersensitivity to Insults
HBP pp. 467-468: Ron is talking about Tonks.
Women, he said wisely to Harry, theyre easily upset.
And yet, said Hermione, coming out of her reverie, I doubt youd find
a woman who sulked for half an hour because Madam Rosmerta didnt laugh at
HBP pg. 536: Ginny jokes about Ron having a Pygmy Puff tattoo.
...all Romilda Vane does is ask me if its true youve got a hippogriff
tattooed across your chest.
Ron and Hermione both roared with laughter. Harry ignored them.
What did you tell her?
I told her its a Hungarian Horntail, said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. Much more macho.
Thanks, said Harry grinning. And what did you tell her Rons got?
A Pygmy Puff, but I didnt say where.
Ron scowled as Hermione rolled around laughing.
Watch it, he said pointing warningly at Harry and Ginny. Just because
Ive given my permission doesnt mean I cant withdraw it --"
This is really loaded. Hermione laughs twice. In the first instance she may be laughing at Romilda Vane. In the second instance Hermione is clearly laughing at Ron. Thats a funny response. If Hermione had a crush on Ron for years and he has finally matured enough to return her love, why would she laugh at him when his sister makes fun of his manhood? But then again Hermione herself calls Ron a coward on page 514. Ron also seems to think he
has the right to control who his sister and best friends are kissing.
Violence Against Friends and Family
HBP pg. 285: Ron punches Demelza Robins in the mouth!
HBP pg. 287-288: Ron starts an argument with Ginny that gets very heated very fast. Ron casts a spell at Ginny but it misses.
And with that, she stormed away. Harry quickly let go of Ron, the look
on his face was murderous.
HBP pg. 327: In the kitchen at the Burrow
...Mrs. Weasley entered the room just in time to see Ron throw the sprout knife at Fred...
Ron commits an act of violence against a family member.
HBP pg. 393: Romilda Vanes love potion inspires Ron.
This is really funny and everything, said Harry impatiently, but
jokes over, all right. Drop it.
He turned to leave; he had gotten two steps towards the door when a
crashing blow hit him on the right ear. Staggering, he looked around. Rons
fist was drawn right back his face was contorted with rage; he was about to
Ron lashes out at his best friend Harry.
A Push for Quick Involvement
HBP pg. 647: At Dumbledores funeral
Ron, he saw, was now holding Hermione and stroking her hair while
she sobbed into his shoulder... (my italics)
Ron moves from comforting Hermione in a moment of grief when she could
not possibly turn to Harry if she wanted to, to mild sexual foreplay very
Pulling it All Together
It would seem Ron fits the pattern of being a potentially abusive partner. There are examples of Rons behavior that fit Dear Abbys warning signs in
books 1-5, but his tendencies definitely took a turn for the worse in HBP.
Ron and Hermione have very little in common. They bicker constantly and they do not work together smoothly. Hermione is far too brilliant to be happy with Ron and Ron is not self-confident enough or talented enough to function as her equal. Ron has been jealous and possessive of Hermione since their second
year but his attraction towards her does not originate in his brain. If Ron
and Hermione are paired up, they will continue to argue and it could easily
Why would JKR pair up Hermione and Ron when they obviously cant get along and Hermione has a tendency to hug Harry? Well, why not? Theyre fictional characters and their pain hurts no one. JKR has an opportunity to show millions of young girls the dangers of being trapped in a bad relationship and she just might be inclined to do so.
Of course Hermione is more than capable of handling Ron when it comes to a magical fight and she has attacked him before, but I think she fits the classic abuse victim profile (thats another essay.) If Ron takes a swing at Hermione, shell let him hit her (after all, he owes her one). Shell blame herself and try to keep the incident quiet. Ron will be sorry and will try to make it up to her, every time it happens, until she runs away. Without some magical anger management therapy, I predict...
Ron Loves Hermione and He Will Hit Her.
I understand I've reached a conclusion that is going to be controversial. This is not something you say without a lot of documentation and I've found dozens of instances where JKR hints that Ron may develop into an abuser. Its a disturbing but clear pattern.
I think the problem of domestic violence and abusive relationships is very
important and I think JKR would agree with that. Young people need to be aware of the problem of domestic violence and they should read and discuss Dear Abbys list of signs, even if it means recognizing a potentially ugly side of one of their favorite characters.
The idea of Ron Weasley turning into an abuser goes against a lot of peoples happy dreams of seeing a blissful relationship between Ron and Hermione or Ron and Luna or Ron and anybody else. But thats the whole tragedy of domestic violence. No one wants to believe a friend or neighbor is capable of abusing their spouse or child and most abusers seem to be just like the rest of us. Domestic violence is a cancer in our society.
The literature review that I wrote is worth very little. Ron Weasley is a
fictional character who is still under development and the author can do
anything with him she wants to. Any guess about Rons future is probably
wrong. A lot of people wont like to see negative conclusions drawn about Ron
Weasley. I mean, hes one of the good guys! I like Ron too. I like happy endings and I hope Ron turns out alright in the end. Maybe hes just going through a phase.
The article from Dear Abby is the important thing. Sometimes good people
have trouble controlling their tempers. Awareness of the issue is the first
step to correcting a problem. But its a lot easier and less painful to take
a critical look at a fictional character than at a real friend or family
I don't want to leave the impression that I think Ron is an evil person. He's one of the good guys. But even good people can do bad things and Ron has a growing tendency to be a bit short tempered. Some people respond to stress in that way.