First off, I must say after what I’ve been through in the last couple months, I now officially hate computers. I have lost countless emails (though I’ve read most of your stuff, and I try to respond to all of it, so keep sending it), had to re-install numerous programs, and it’s just been a mess. Amidst all that, I haven’t had a chance to get a regularly scheduled column up in awhile. I’m in school now, so I’m going to try to write one every two weeks. I’ve been assured by OIT (my school’s office of information technologies) that I shouldn’t have any more computer problems, so with that, let’s dive into this week’s column.
When most readers (myself included) think of Fred and George Weasley, we think of two lovable twin brothers who provide comic relief through the Harry Potter books. Why would we think anything else? They are always doing something outrageous, be it a prank, throwing a party, or causing havoc throughout the school. Until the 5th book, they seemed like nothing more than secondary characters that were not integral to the larger pot.

With a little careful examination, however, you can come to find that may not be the case. Let’s look at some facts. First, with the pair no longer enrolled at Hogwarts and starting up their own business, they can no longer provide comic relief during the school year (duties that I think will be picked up by Neville, Dobby and Colin). With that being said, it would be easy for J.K. Rowling to write them out of the book almost entirely, and I have serious doubts about that. On the other hand, she would need a good reason to keep them around, and I think she has one.

Don’t you find it strange that in almost all the books, Fred and George, the biggest trouble-makers in school, hardly ever get in any trouble? They never get caught doing anything! Now you can chalk some of that up to the use of the Marauder’s Map, but they give that to Harry in book 3. Sure, they still know all the secret passage ways and stuff like that, but without that map, they would have no idea when teachers were coming or where they were. And why would they give the map to Harry? Couldn’t they just show him a path to sneak into Hogsmeade, and then keep the map for themselves? The only way they would give that map away was if they didn’t need it.

So how do they get away with all this you ask? That’s a very fair question, one that I don’t really know the answer to. I’ve heard people say perhaps they could use a time turner, but that really can’t be it. Think about it. Think of all the things they could do with a time turner. They would have probably kidnapped Umbridge, tied her up and thrown her in the lake. They definitely would have done something major to Malfoy. I just don’t see them being all that responsible with a time turner.

What I think is happening is that they are becoming Seers. Not the fake Seers like Trelwaney, but real Seers. If it is in the blood, it would make sense that they both could do it, as they are twins. That would explain how they were able to dupe Ludo Bagman with the Quidditch World Cup bet. This is not the least bit insignificant. Think of how incredible this bet really was. They predicted the winning team, and they also said they would win because the other team’s best player would (seemingly) inexplicably catch the snitch with his team down 160 points, knowing that by catching it his team would lose. Then they even explain why Krum caught the snitch, making his team lose. One of the twins says confidently that Krum “wanted to end it on his own terms” or something to that effect. Now they could have found out how the game ends by using a time turner, but they couldn’t have found out how Krum felt. To find that out, you’d have to ask him (which they didn’t) or perhaps be a Seer. I’m going with the latter. The time turner theory just doesn’t work for me; there is too much risk of getting caught, and getting in serious, serious trouble.

Now onto the movie quiz of the week. This week’s quote:

“Normally, both your asses would be dead as [expletive] fried chicken, but you happen pull this [expletive] while I’m in a transitional period so I don’t want to kill you, I want to help you.”

Good luck, and see you soon!

2/26/04

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