Ben: Since we don't have a main topic of discussion this week, we're just going to basically give a rundown of the news and see what we think about it and all that. All that jazz! Well Goblet of Fire is still hot, right guys?
Ben: It's expected to surpass Sorcerer's Stone box office sales. Woo-hoo! Go Goblet of Fire!
Melissa: Why do you think that is?
Ben: Is anybody really surprised by that? Huh?
Andrew: Sorcerer's Stone sales? I don't think so. Why is that such a big deal?
Melissa: It was a bigger opening weekend than Sorcerer's Stone.
Eric: Why does that matter? I'm interested if it beats Prisoner of Azkaban.
Melissa: Prisoner of Azkaban is the lowest grossing yet.
Andrew: It'd better beat Prisoner of Azkaban.
Eric: Yeah, but it didn't, it didn't beat Prisoner of Azkaban the first day, which pissed me off.
Melissa: It beat Sorcerer's Stone the first weekend.
Andrew: [whispering] No cursing.
Eric: Yeah, but it was $2m behind Prisoner of Azkaban opening day take which really ticked me off because this is so much better a movie.
Melissa: Okay. I mean, I don't think we're...
Andrew: Maybe people got lower...why would less people see it on opening day?
Eric: Because they were expecting a good movie in Prisoner of Azkaban and then they didn't get one, so they decided to be wary and not...
Andrew: Yeah, is that what it was, lower expectations?
Kevin: Yeah, that's what I thought. That's what I thought.
Melissa: Well, then...
Ben: Okay, you guys, last episode when I listened to it again I was about ready to start chucking things at my computer screen or at my iPod because every time you guys said "I hated Prisoner of Azkaban" then Micah would say, [in deep voice] "Yeah, me too, I hated Prisoner of Azkaban," then Kevin said, "I hated Prisoner of Azkaban."
Melissa: I loved Prisoner of Azkaban.
Ben: Then Andrew, "Yeah! I hated Prisoner of Azkaban."
Melissa: I loved it.
Ben: I loved that movie.
Ben: I don't know what you guys' problem is because I remember right after the movie came out, the general consensus was "This movie was awesome, this movie was great," and then a few months down the road, all of a sudden these people start hating it. Does anyone know why that is?
Andrew: Yeah, because we all saw it a second time.
Melissa: No, it's because popular media turned...
Ben: I have the DVD at home.
Melissa: ....and everybody turned into lemmings when that happens.
Eric: [laughs] No!
Kevin: I did not like it from the beginning. I really didn't.
Melissa: Why? I don't understand this.
Kevin: It's because...
Eric: I think, I think...
Ben: Tell me why you did not, tell me why you did not like Prisoner of Azkaban then. Give me a good reason.
Kevin: He was too, he was too focused on the cinema.
Kevin: He made an artistic movie like a movie that people would like who haven't read Harry Potter before but he completely slaughtered...
Ben and Melissa: Why is that a bad thing?
Ben: Why is that a bad thing?
Kevin: Because we're Harry Potter fans!
Eric: Yeah and also it's not just for the people who haven't read the books, it's for the people who don't want to be interested in the books or any form of characterization at all. What Goblet of Fire did to me, Ben, I saw it the third time today, I saw Goblet of Fire for the third time today when I woke up, first thing I did I went and go saw it, went and saw it. So! What it did for me, is it gives me a warm feeling of happiness about characterisation and that's what it did! The Hagrid scene with Maxime and the whole story about him putting his father on the dresser - that was in there, it was such a warm feeling of happiness.
Melissa: Yeah but that wasn't true in the book.
Eric: Prisoner of Azkaban...
Melissa: It was not.
Eric: What do you mean? It's in the book, right when...
Melissa: Maxime was not so interested in Hagrid in Book 4 as she was in this movie so if you're talking about it being true to the book.
Eric: No, but the story.
Melissa: Oh the story about his dad has nothing to do with characterization.
Eric: The very...no.
Melissa: I mean it does, but not the Hagrid/Madame Maxime relationship. That's just that the story about his dad is in there.
Eric: I didn't say, I wasn't saying...
Ben: Eric, Eric...
Eric: I don't care about their relationship.
Ben: Eric, listen to me, Eric! Shhh, just listen to me for a second. You start saying how you believe that Goblet of Fire was so true to the book which is completely ludicrous because how could it be true to the book when it's ten minutes longer than Prisoner of Azkaban and there's 300 hundred pages more in Goblet of Fire?
Melissa: Goblet of Fire takes the most freedom.
Eric: That just shows how much Alfonso slacked off, but anyway!
Ben: Oh that is a lie. That's a downright lie.
Eric: I am going...no, you know what Ben, I'm going to stop dissing Alfonso because you know what? I am going to stop.
Kevin: No, he did an excellent job.
Melissa: He's a wonderful director.
Kevin: Just that his movie...
Eric: No, I'm going to stop. I really am, but all I know is, all I know is it did give me a warm...watching Goblet of Fire gave me a warm feeling for whatever reason. Now, I don't care about Madame Maxime and Hagrid's relationship, that was an example, but it gave me a warm feeling and I...it made me feel all fuzzy and Book 3...Book 3 made me feel fuzzy and Movie 3 did not.
Ben: Okay, here's what I think's happened.
Eric: Call it...I call it the fuzz effect.
Ben: Just hold on a sec, listen here. Everyone saw the first movie, everyone was like, "Oh yeah! I like this movie." Then the second movie comes out, "Oh the first movie wasn't so good, this one's much better." The third movie comes out...
Kevin: Not at all.
Ben: "Oh this movie rocked! Oh the first two, those were terrible films and all this." And what's really, really ticking me off is when I hear people say, "Oh the first movies were just terrible, the third movie was terrible..."
Melissa: No, see that's crap, too.
Ben: I don't think people are being honest.
Kevin: No, no, not at all.
Melissa: Christopher Columbus...
Ben: I think they're lying to themselves. I mean, seriously. these are not bad movies.
Eric: I agree with Ben when he, you know when he points out the hypocrisy of it all because yeah, people will go back on their word and people will say things for whatever reasons, it's not bad, it's not evil it's just, you know, it's not good either. So, I agree with that aspect of what Ben said, but I did like the first two movies better than Prisoner of Azkaban and that's just a reality and I think Goblet of Fire is the best of all and...
Ben: I mean some of these people are flip-flopping worse than John Kerry because...
Eric: Ben! Ben, you're my new best friend!
Ben: "I love this movie." The next minute they're saying, "Oh this movie was terrible."
Eric: Flip-flopping worse than John Kerry. Wow! Okay, no politics but Ben I, I'm going to shake your hand next time I see you.
Ben: Everybody I'm just...that what was like...
Andrew: No, you have to edit that out.
Ben: About how people played it up. No. Just people playing it up in the media and it was, do not take that as politically insulting John Kerry. It was just my weak humor.
Melissa: Christopher Columbus did an excellent job in the first two films and then everybody started complaining that he was too slavish to the material and I think to a certain extent that was true. He didn't take a lot...he didn't, it's not that you have to take liberties to make a good film, you have to take the kind of liberties that make it from a book to a film, they're different mediums and you have to just accept that. So, in order to make a good book and a good film you're going to have to do different things. Alfonso Cuaron was the first one to start doing that and everybody flipped out. He started changing things to make it a better film because that was his job. Everybody lost their minds. Goblet of Fire does that ten times more than he did. So, I just don't get it, I don't get how you can call Alfonso Cuaron out on that and not say anything about Mike Newell.
Eric: I think it's part of a few things. One, we're probably already used to the shock and that's just something I'm going to say, maybe I'm guessing, but also I think when Alfonso made the changes and changed it into a better film or whatever his job was, he replaced the stuff he took out with art as opposed to character development and happiness.
Kevin: And happiness!
Eric: And happiness, which is what Newell did. You know, when Newell makes changes, he replaced it with a good scene of you know, Moody and his ferret on his lap tapping to the music you know, and not...
Melissa: And that's characterization how?
Eric: Because that's the underlying...
Melissa: I mean characterization as that brings us back to what's in the book.
Eric: Okay well...
Melissa: That's not in the book.
Eric: It's...yes, well what it is, is the undertone of Barty Crouch Jr. Here you have an evil, evil, Voldemort follower who is actually a decent guy and he actually guides Harry pretty darn well.
Eric: And Brendan Gleeson is an incredible imposter Moody and I think it completely does, it gives tribute...
Melissa: Wait a second!
Eric: What I'm saying is that Barty Crouch Jr. is a good guy and that's...
Melissa: Eric, Eric, it's exactly what you're saying. You just said that Barty Crouch Jr. was a good guy.
Eric: He is! That's the point!
Melissa: I can't even have this conversation!
Eric: No, the whole point of the series, no listen. No. Okay, Melissa, Melissa. People are bad, right?
Melissa: I'm listening.
Eric: But are people completely bad? And that's the point.
Melissa: He is!
Kevin: He is.
Eric: Yes. He's malicious, right?
Kevin: No, no...
Eric: But look at his, look at his parenthood. His father. Look at how his father treated him. Look at that.
Melissa: Are we going all Draco on him and going to stop blaming him for his own actions?
Kevin: I know, and blaming it on his father.
Eric: No, no, no.
Kevin: In the end, everyone has a choice.
Eric: That's right, but he...
Melissa: Look, that scene...
Kevin: He made the choice to join Voldemort and that's what makes him evil.
Eric: But you know what?
Melissa: That's it.
Eric: Yes, but! He was a good Moody. He was an enjoyable Moody. He had fun as Moody.
Melissa: Okay. Well let's look, no, well let's look back at that scene.
Kevin: Yeah but what did he do? He was manipulative.
Melissa: That scene, that scene in which he has that ferret is supposed to be an unguarded room and he's supposed to be drunk, he's having a good time. Do you think...unguarded means he's more like Barty Crouch than he is like Moody.
Kevin: Right. Uh-huh.
Melissa: Why is he not acting more like Barty Crouch? He's acting more like a fun-loving Moody instead of Barty Crouch.
Eric: Because he's enjoying it, he's enjoying the freedom and he actually does...I think all bad people, a lot of bad people do like happiness and they aren't all bitter you know, bitter morons.
Kevin: Except they get happiness by causing other people pain.
Ben: Okay. I think you're...
Melissa: I'm done with this conversation.
Kevin: Yeah, me too.
Ben: I think you give the bad people way too much credit. And in reality you must know that it's all a matter of opinion and I can like a certain movie. There are no facts in this game here that we're playing so...
Melissa: That's very fair, Ben.
Ben: No worries.
Eric: Ben, I like that.
Ben: Okay so...don't listen to Eric, if you want Prisoner of Azkaban to be your favorite movie of all time, it's fine. Don't let Eric Scull get you down!
Ben: Since that cut pretty much...we sort of branched off there from our mini-topic about Goblet of Fire surpassing Sorcerer's Stone in sales and went to a debate about which movie is best, but anyways, I think it would be prudent now to move on to the voicemails.
[Audio]: Hi guys! This is David from Melbourne, Australia. Great work on the show by the way. My question is, do you think Lord Voldemort is able to produce a Patronus? Love, laughter and happiness are all said to come from the soul, and these things are used to conjure the Patronus. Since Voldemort is unable to love and his soul is severed and damaged, do you think he'd have the necessary emotions to conjure the Patronus? I don't think he would. Let me know what you think. Thanks, guys.
Ben: Melissa, what do you think?
Melissa: No. I mean Voldemort pretty much...it's been drilled into our heads that he has no ability to love.
Melissa: And if he's going to produce a Patronus...if he needs to produce a Patronus, he'll figure out some other way to produce a Patronus.
Eric: Yeah or got rid of...
Melissa: That's not from love.
Kevin: Also, the question, is does he have to?
Ben: Because the dementors are on his side anyway.
Ben: So why would he need to produce a Patronus?
Melissa: It's true.
Kevin: There's no...he has no need to produce one so...
Ben: Out of curiosity.
Melissa: However, he does have memories like that, that would, should the dementors turn on him, he has some pretty dark stuff that would drive him probably to insanity if he was forced to relive them.
Eric: Yeah. Ummm...
Ben: What do you guys think, if he was able to produce a Patronus, what form do you think it would become? A serpent?
Ben: A serpent.
Melissa: Didn't we ask her this in the interview?
Kevin: Yeah, I'm teasing.
Melissa: And she said she couldn't answer.
Ben: Oh you did, didn't you? That's right.
Eric: Yeah the only thing I want to point out here is the difference between love and happiness. It doesn't take love to produce a Patronus, it takes happy thoughts to produce a Patronus, so happy thoughts could also probably potentially be evil ones, don't you think? Like him killing Lily Potter.
Kevin: Oh yeah.
Eric: Stuff like...
Kevin: Killing anyone, yeah.
Eric: Killing anyone would be a happy thought so theoretically, it doesn't take love to produce a Patronus.
Ben: That is a good point.
Ben: So I think that covers that. Roll Voicemail Number Two.
[Audio]: Hello everyone, my name is James from up in California and I had two questions for you. First, do you think that Snape's old Potions Book will play a part in Book 7, and second how would you like to see George Lucas direct one of the movies? Thanks!
Kevin: I just want to start with the second part. If you wanted to see the movie edited about three times and released in about three or four different versions, George Lucas would be perfect, okay?
Andrew: Well, he...
Eric: Order of The Phoenix: Special Edition!
Andrew: You'd have to admit that it would get all the Star Wars fans to go see it.
Eric: You know what? Yeah I want prequels.
Kevin: That's true.
Eric: I want prequels too.
Kevin: I do not want...
Melissa: But then you're going to end up with this horrible dialogue, like Harry and Ginny circling the Lake, and he touches her arm and it's, "Oh...it's so nice here."
Kevin: It's true.
Eric: But that's why...Melissa, that's why George Lucas wouldn't be writing the film he directs. That's why we have...
Kevin: His stories are very, very dangerous.
Melissa: It's a dangerous proposition, guys.
Eric: Just don't give...give the man a camera and not a pen.
Melissa: We're going to end up with Jar-Jar number two because we've already got Dobby.
Kevin: Oh yeah.
Eric: We have...oh god!
Ben: Okay. But what about the first part of the question about Snape's old Potion Book playing a role in Book 7? Personally, I don't know because it was left in the Room of Requirement I believe, and the issue here is that there are so many loose ends that Jo has to tie up in this book that I don't know if there'll be room for that. I don't know if there will be room for the Mirror of Erised, I don't know if there'll be room for everything because if you go through every magical object there's been throughout the entire series, you'll know if it's actually going to play a huge role.
Kevin: Yeah, but...
Ben: Like what I can see happening is Harry getting it out of the Room of Requirement and using it for Potions again. I don't know.
Melissa: I can just see that room being...I think getting that book to that room was significant because of all the stuff that's in that room.
Melissa: And getting back there and being in that room is important.
Eric: She did mention...
Kevin: I think that he's going to use it, yeah.
Ben: Because we don't even know if Hogwarts is going to be open for business, so...
Melissa: Who knows?
Eric: Well, JKR described exactly where it was, like the exact cabinet in the exact aisle and the exact row. So, even if it doesn't show up in the books, we know where to find it for our Fan Fiction writers.
Melissa: Well, don't we just all feel better?
Kevin: Oh yeah. But I think the point is that she did draw a lot of attention to it and then not much came of it. And you know, I think it does have potential to play a part and I think if anything, it would be the fact that Harry believes Snape is now bad and what better way to learn your enemy than read out of his own notes?
Eric: Well here's a man who created Sectumsempra, so.
Eric: That was a tear-ible spell.
Ben: For what it did to Draco. I hated Draco and I still felt sorry for the guy.
Eric: Yeah. Guys get it, tear-ible? Tear...ible.
Ben: Yeah...ohhh, good joke!
Kevin: Funny. So...
Eric: I like the third voicemail.
Ben: Okay, next voicemail.
[Audio]: Hey, I'm Cecile from France. Do you guys think students in Hogwarts wash? I mean we have this scene in the prefects' Bathroom in Book 4 and in Half-Blood Prince, Harry is looking for Malfoy on the Marauder's Map and says, "He's not in the bathroom," but apart from these two hints we've never heard of them actually washing...it's a bit weird? Thanks for the show and congrats for the Live Podcast in New York City that was completely awesome. I wish I could have been there but there was an ocean to cross. Don't change anything, you rock. Sorry for my accent, bye-bye!
Ben: Well, what I think is that JK Rowling sort of has so much to write into the books already that she's not going to go into a detailed shower scene about, "Oh, Harry was in the shower and he was washing his chest," which Eric was staring at his abs and all that stuff.
Eric: Oh, Ben! Cascading.
Kevin: Although I'm sure people would love that.
Eric: Cascading. Uses of the adjective cascading.
Ben: I'm sure they take a bath and you know, there's use of Magic, would they really have to, couldn't they just zap themselves clean?
Melissa: No. They take baths.
Eric: They do, but...
Melissa: Harry clearly knows how to do it in Book 4 when he goes to the prefects' bathroom.
Eric: He's not like, "What are these?"
Ben: Yeah. [laughs]
Melissa: No, but she does come out on how dirty he is in the beginning of Book 6. Itís really nasty actually.
Melissa: Harry is this gross sixteen-year-old kid who has owl droppings all over the room, his dirty socks, and a misty fug. Which is a dirty thing...
Ben: Yeah, I remember there was a news article that was released a while back. Emerson posted about it and basically slammed it down. There was this person that said, the title of the article was "Take A Shower, Harry!" [laughs] and it was all about how throughout all of the books Harry has yet to take a bath and all this stuff.
Eric: You know what, fine. Thatís the same thing with movies. Youíre not going to find movie - itís the same thing with movies. Youíre not going to see the character go to the bathroom unless thereís like a fight scene in the bathroom. You know?
Melissa: Or a Moaning Myrtle scene in a bathroom.
Ben: Itís just kind of obvious, that you donít ever see Harry go use the bathroom either, you know? What does he do, hold it for six years? You know?
Melissa: Well, Hermione also talks about Moaning Myrtle and how hard itís to have a pee with her wailing. You know, so clearly they do.
Eric: Yes, Melissaís brilliant. Thatís one of the points I wanted to mention, is that itĎs mentioned enough...
Melissa: Is that Melissa is brilliant? Excellent, thank you.
Eric: Yeah, that and that itís in the background. Like exactly, like at the Death Day party as Melissa said, Hermione says itís hard to have a pee when Mel-- ah when Moaning Myrtle...
Kevin: Melissa... [laughs]
Eric: [laugh] Sorry, she wails too, which I love. But anyway, when Myrtleís wailing, itís in the background.
Melissa: No, I just snore.
Eric: Thereís very little mention of it but itís enough to, itís just implied. People, you know, they go to the bathroom. Do you really want to read about it?
Kevin: Not to mention...
Eric: Read Fan Fiction. Read Fan Fiction if you want to read about bodily functions in the Potter Characters.
Andrew: No, donít. [laughs]
Kevin: And not to mention, go to any book, go to Lord of the Rings, go to you know, how many times does itÖ
Eric: Does Legolas squat in the woods? I mean, you know?
Kevin: Exactly. Sheís not going to put that in.
Ben: Eric, I can see that on one of your avatars already: "Does Legolas Squat in the woods?"
Melissa: Yeah. [laughs] That and "The fuzz effect." I can see that on an avatar as well.
Ben: Oh geez. I think that pretty much sums up that question.
Eric: But that was a nice accent. That was a nice accent.
Ben: Yeah. We answered it pretty well. Onto the next question, next question.
Melissa: It was Clemence Poesy.
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