Chapter-by-Chapter: "Flourish and Blotts"

Andrew: Anyway, let's move on now to this week's Chapter-by-Chapter segment, which is Chapters 4 through 6 in Chamber of Secrets. And these three chapters basically focus on Harry's preparation, journey, and start at Hogwarts. And...

Eric: Second year.

Andrew: Yes. And we're going to start with Chapter 4, which was "Flourish and Blotts."

Eric: We don't have a - we don't have music for this, do we yet? Like [echoing] Chapter-by-Chapter!

Andrew: No, I'm sorry.

Eric: No intro.

Andrew: Got to hire some people to do that. Micah, do you want to kick it off?

Micah: Sure. I've just got to find it - okay. So the first chapter at "Flourish and Blotts"...

Eric: Fourth chapter.

Micah: Well - technically...

Andrew: All right, come on.

Micah: ...the first chapter we're discussing - yeah, all right. But it starts off, they're still at the Burrow, and Harry notes that everyone at the Burrow seems to like him. Which is a huge contrast from what he's used to from his time on Privet Drive. And during his time there he feels extremely guilty hearing the Weasleys discussing their finances once all the letters from Hogwarts arrive, and how they're going to pay for everything now with Ginny going to school as well. And it particularly gets worse even later in the chapter, when he goes to Gringotts and he tries to...

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: What?

Andrew: No, go ahead.

Micah: What are you laughing at?

Andrew: Well, it was kind of a funny thing, how Harry was trying to hide all his gold sitting in his vault from the Weasleys' eyes.

Emerson: The way it was written - the way it was written was the saddest excerpt from the books. Because it describes the Weasleys' vault...

[Eric laughs]

Emerson: ...as being this giant, cavernous, empty...

Andrew: Yeah!

Emerson: ...and Molly's, like, sweeping the corners, trying to see if there's a little Sickle or a Knut that may have been left somewhere. So sad.

Andrew: Yeah. It's just...

Ben: Okay, I have a question. I just need to clear this up.

Andrew: What?

Ben: Yeah, do you guys remember the Scholastic pronunciation guide?

Andrew: Yes.

Ben: Okay, is it "Ka-noot" or is it "Nut?"

Andrew: Oh! Right!

Ben: Is it a "Ka-noot"? Or is it a "Nut?"

Andrew: I don't know. We'll find out. We'll have to consult that thing.

Ben: Well, the pronunciation guide says "Ka-noot."

Andrew: Well then, it must be "Ka-noot!"

Ben: All right.

Emerson: I called it "Ka-noot" for about five years, and then I switched back to "Nut." Because I just...

Andrew: Well, why would they even bother confusing kids? Like, obviously, that reads as "Nut." Correct me if I'm "nuts," but I'm pretty sure that's how it's supposed to be.

Eric: Boo.

Andrew: Oh. Well see? I tried.

[Andrew and Emerson laugh]

Eric: But the Weasleys, only have - I think they said they only have one Galleon. Like, a few Sickles and one Galleon, in their entire vault.

Andrew: All right - here we go. This is the official pronunciation, according to Scholastic.

[Audio]: "Ka-noot."

Andrew: "Ka-noots." Let's hear it again.

[Audio]: "Ka-noot."

Andrew: "Ka-noots.".

[Eric laughs]

Micah: Those British people...

Andrew: That's ridiculous.

Micah: ...don't know what they're talking about.

Ben: "Ka-noots."

[Emerson laughs]

Andrew: Well, no. They have the little pronunciation spelling and it's got an apostrophe after the "k," so, "Ka-noots."

Emerson: That might be how they pronounce it in English, but we speak American.

Ben: American.

Emerson: Exactly. Here, it's...

Ben: America.

Micah: We can just ask J.K. Rowling when she's on the show next week.

Andrew: Right.

[Emerson laughs]

Andrew: The pronunciation guide is laughing at us. Go ahead. So yeah, I mean, that - I agree with Emerson, it was well written, and you feel for Harry when he's trying to keep it [laughs]...

Emerson: You can just picture him cracking the door to his vault open...

Andrew: Yeah.

Emerson: ...and the gold spilling out...

[Everyone laughs]

Emerson: ...into the hallway.

Andrew: And he is a very modest person, so it really must have been hard for him.

Micah: It's true.

Andrew: Mhm.

Eric: Yeah.

Micah: But another question would be, why did he never offer to pay for anything for the Weasleys?

Eric: It's - it's - he did though.

Andrew: Why should he, though?

Eric: He gave his whole Triwizard winnings to the Weasleys. But I think that's where he found it was appropriate, is the thing. Like, you know, Harry - I'm sure Harry would have - and Harry's bought food and stuff, like the trolley, for instance in year one he bought all that candy for him and Ron, but I just don't think that was - I mean, it just wasn't appropriate - like an opportune moment for him to do that.

Micah: Right.

Ben: I get the feeling that Ron's a mooch.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Ben: He's probably - he probably never has lunch money...

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Ben: ...he never has anything, and he always making Harry buy him crap...

[Andrew, Emerson and Eric laugh]

Ben: Like you know - they're in - you know, in Hogsmeade, and he just - he just goes crazy.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Emerson laughs]

Andrew: Well yeah, I don't think it was the right time for Harry to be, like, lending the Weasleys money, and really, I don't think they would have accepted it.

Ben: Well, I mean, Harry walks up to Molly and Arthur in front of their kids, and is like, "Here...

Andrew: Here, yeah.

Ben: ...take this for your school supplies."

Andrew: Right. [laughs]

Ben: I mean, that would be kind of...

Emerson: "My dead parents left this for me."

[Emerson and Eric laugh]

Andrew: Yeah, they would feel guilty.

Micah: All right.

Andrew: So then we get into Knockturn Alley, and there's a lot of little things hidden in this room. First on page 50, we see this quote: "Harry looked quickly around and spotted a large, black cabinet to his left."

Ben: The Vanishing Cabinet.

Andrew: The Vanishing Cabinet!

Eric: Borgin and Burkes.

Andrew: So that was some beautiful foreshadowing, and then some other lines, page 51 and 52: "'Can I have that?' interrupted Draco, pointing at the withered hand on its cushion. 'Ah, the Hand of Glory!' said Mr. Borgin, abandoning Mr. Malfoy's list and scurrying over to Draco. 'Insert a candle and it gives light, only to the holder. Best friend of thieves and plunderers. Your son has fine taste, sir.'"

Eric: Wow. I'm going to vote for an Andrew Sims version of the Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets audio book.

Andrew: [sarcastically] Oh, thanks.

[Eric laughs]

Emerson: I think perhaps - perhaps the most intriguing thing about analyzing the Harry Potter books, is that unlike a movie, when they introduce a new character, or they deliberately - the camera zooms in on something, and it's clearly meant to foreshadow, J.K. Rowling introduces so many characters, and so many magical objects, and so many places, and so many things, that you just have no idea what's foreshadowing, and no idea what's just...

Andrew: Right.

Eric: Her eccentric?

Emerson: ...her imagination. What's just her ability to create a world so vivid as the Harry Potter world.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: And these things come into play, I mean - you know, this Borgin and Burkes, little did we know at this point, that Voldemort used to work there, and that sort of thing. So there are all these coincidences...

Micah: Yeah.

Eric: ...but there's also characters like Emerson said, that were just introduced either far before their time, or that are still introduced, and still even fleshed out a bit, who are just there in the moment for comedic relief or any other kind of various reasons.

Emerson: But I don't think I've ever read a book where...

Ben: It's safe to say a lot of thought went into this.

Andrew: Right.

Emerson: Sorry, go ahead.

Ben: Oh, sorry, I was just saying that it's safe to say that a lot of thought went into all this.

Emerson: Yeah, I don't think I've ever read a book or seen a movie that introduced so many pieces of unnecessary information but still kept you on your toes because you knew some of it was going to be important.

Andrew: Right.

Emerson: So instead of the movie, the camera that lingers for five and a half minutes, you know, on - on...

[Andrew laughs]

Emerson: ...a number or a face, [laughs] it's so subtle. It seems so unimportant.

Andrew: Yeah, and like Ben said, the - just the planning ahead - to think you're going to include this, the Hand of Glory and many other little hints five, six books later, that's amazing.

Emerson: I wonder - I wonder what thought process led to her inserting these random clues...

Andrew: I don't know.

Emerson: ...throughout the books. Did she just come up - like did she just go back and say, "Hmm, I think I'm going to throw the Hand of Glory in here - plah!"

[Andrew laughs]

Emerson: "See if they catch that."

Andrew: Well maybe - maybe she could have us all fooled, and while she's writing Book Six and Book Seven she just goes back to the older books, finds some things she can reference. I mean, you know...

Ben: Right.

Andrew: That sounds like we're cheapening her writing, but I...

Emerson: No, but that's smart though.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah, could be - or maybe she...

Emerson: Why reinvent the wheel?

Andrew: Right. Or she could have it all in her head. I mean, we do know she planned out most of the series from the get-go.

Eric: And all of these objects, too, even if they're not exact replicas, they are inspired by actual artifacts. Like, I mean, I'm not just talking about the Sorcerer's Stone and what she did with that, but things like the Hand of Glory and opal necklaces, all of that may have some, you know, historical connotations. When she talks about druids being a certain place, or doing a certain thing, or some hags laughing in a bar, it's significant because of other historical or fiction - fictitious accounts, other literary references that she's playing on. She's just - she's brilliant, all these little various things have all sorts of meaning, every single little bit of it. That's why a lot of people - I mean, that's why it's very easy to get lost in this series, why you could, you know, live off nothing but it for a while.

Andrew: All right, well let's continue moving along. Another quote of some beautiful foreshadowing: "Draco paused to examine a long coil of hangman's rope and to read, smirking, the card propped on a magnificent necklace of opals." Is that the right pronunciation?

Micah: Opals, yeah.

Eric: Caution: do not touch if you are Katie Bell.

[Emerson laughs]

Andrew: "Caution: Do Not Touch. Cursed. Has Claimed the Lives of Nineteen Muggle Owners to Date."

Ben: Nineteen, now why do you think she put nineteen in there?

Andrew: That is a big number.

Ben: Nineteen. One plus nine is ten, nine minus...

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: ...one is eight...

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Ben: ...minus one is seven...

Andrew: Ohhh!

Ben: Meaning seven books, seven years at Hogwarts.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: You know, Ben, we probably talked about this at some point when we analyzed Half-Blood Prince. We probably devoted a whole episode to it.

Andrew: Yeah, maybe.

Ben: I just think it's so funny because, you know, overanalyzing things is what we do, and...

[Emerson laughs]

Ben: ...and a lot of times - I remember a few years ago, there was a Christmas post on MuggleNet because J.K. Rowling did an update on her site, and it just - we just took it way too far, because it was like: "If you take the number of presents beneath the tree..."

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: "...minus the number of Christmas tree ornaments..."

Andrew: Oh! [laughs]

Ben: "...divided by..."

Emerson: "Count the number of purple ornaments..." [laughs]

Andrew: That was - that was, I'm not going to say who, but one of our staff members came up with that idea and insisted it would be posted.

Ben: All right, it was...

Andrew: It was an insane theory...

Ben: It was just a little bit crazy.

Andrew: It was crazy! [laughs] Completely agree. Oh, man. [laughs]

Emerson: When they were - when they were reading this scene, and Draco sees the - the magnificent necklace of opals, and it says "do not touch, has killed nineteen people," did anyone else just kind of visualize this necklace just kind of like hanging there? And kind of imagine if you were just walking through the store, and you kind of tripped and fell and died.

[Andrew and Emerson laugh]

Andrew: I'd still be tempted to touch it, because I'd be like, "Does this really kill people?"

Emerson: Kill me? Yeah.

Andrew: Ben, come over here. Come try this for me.

Ben: Try what?

Andrew: Touching the opal necklace. I was pretending...

Ben: Oh, you have one?

Andrew: No. I was pretending.

Ben: Oh, okay.

Eric: The other thing is that it doesn't say how it kills them. Like, does it strangle them? I mean, we don't know at this point that if you touch it...

Emerson: It makes them fly up in the air twenty feet and they spin around in circles...

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, right.

Emerson: And look really creepy, and...

Eric: Well, we had known that, but wouldn't it just be like any other Muggle device that doesn't behave the way it should, like teapots eating people, you know?

Andrew: I don't know.

Eric: Or necklace strangling people, it's just so - it's awesome.

Micah: We also, when he's in Borgin and Burkes, hear from Lucius. He says, "I would remind you that it is not prudent to appear less than fond of Harry Potter, not when most of our kind regard him as the hero that made the Dark Lord disappear."

Andrew: So, do you guys think, was Lucius trying to - was he trying - he was still mentoring Harry to say, "Hey, don't make fun of him." But that changes later on in the books where Lucius doesn't really care. Why was he still telling him to care at this point, to pay Harry respect or show respect?

Ben: Because he - because at the time you have to look at the conditions in the Wizarding world, you know, the Dark Lord isn't back on the rise at this point.

Andrew: Mhm.

Ben: Everybody's still - Harry's still the big hero and the Malfoys are all - they're big on appearance. That's the entire way they were able to get out of - when the Dark Lord fell the first time, everyone just said they were under the Imperius Curse or they really weren't serving him and that kind of thing. And so, they need to maintain that image and if their kid is running around hating Harry Potter, then that would be detrimental to that image.

Andrew: Yeah, you're right.

Micah: You know, during the conversation, Borgin mentions Malfoy's manor, and it's something that is kind of little, but it's stressed in italics by J.K. Rowling. And I was just wondering, do you think this was a clue to tie back in to the discussion that Ron, Fred, George, and Harry had in the car ride over to The Burrow? You know, they're talking about Lucius Malfoy and the fact that he has this - this manor, and somebody of that stature would have a house-elf. So, as Emerson was pointing out before, there's all these little things throughout the course of the books, but could that be a tie back to that conversation they were having, to kind of give the reader a hint that Dobby could belong to the Malfoys?

Eric: I think so.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: I think the reader's going to be - close reader's going to say, "Oh, he has a manor."

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: It kind of fits his stature, and - but yeah. House-elves - it's already been stated that house-elves live in manors. So, it can definitely be made that connection. And it's likely that Dobby couldn't have been with the Malfoys, but he was in the end, so it's cool.

Andrew: And this - I don't think there's much discussion in this, but then we meet Lucius Malfoy, and he says, "I would have thought you'd be ashamed that a girl of no wizard family beat you in every exam." He snapped at Draco.

Ben: Oooooh!

Andrew: Oooh. And Mr. Weasley loves the fact that Lucius was selling at Borgin and Burkes. This is something we find out shortly thereafter. And it means that he's worried.

Eric: It's interesting that Harry's reaction to that, Lucius bullying Draco, is actually...

Andrew: He was happy.

Eric: ...that he would laugh.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, he says, "Ha!", because he feels great that Draco feels like crap.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: But actually, it's kind of in contrast to how Harry normally feels because his best friend was just insulted. You know, in a way it was kind of like...

Andrew: Yeah...

Ben: Well, he was kind of giving her props in a way.

Eric: Mhm.

Ben: I mean indirectly, because she was the top in the class even though she doesn't have a wizard family. At least he didn't call her a Mudblood.

Eric: But he's just picking on his own kid, you know.

Micah: Yeah. And we get a real taste for him, though. I mean, talking about a girl of no wizard family kind of gives you an idea of who he is as an individual and what his views are.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: He's a prejudiced bastard.

Micah: Pretty much.

Eric: Yep.

Andrew: And then moving along, we see that Mr. Weasley likes the idea of spending time with Muggles and in particular, Hermione's parents. We see him talking them up and...

Emerson: I feel like I can totally relate to Arthur when it comes to his fascination with Muggles.

Andrew: [laughs] Talking...

Emerson: Sorry, I know this is the most unimportant part of the entire chapter, perhaps the entire book series, but if I were a wizard and I got used to just flicking my fingers and making stuff happen, to find out the amazingly complex system of mechanics and social order that the Muggles have come up with to get by without magic - think about how complex a car is or a computer.

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah.

Emerson: I would feel stupid compared to Muggles. [laughs]

Andrew: Right.

Emerson: Sort of like any dumb jock who just can lift things up instead of having these - Muggles would be awesome. b>[laughs]

Andrew: Well, it's sort of like people in the Stone Age talking to us and being fascinated by the stuff we created. Cavemen could never have imagined cars.

Eric: To see what we've done with the wheel would just...

Andrew: Right. [laughs]

Eric: ...blow their minds... [unintelligible] donuts.

Andrew: Exactly! Or vice versa. Us talking to cavemen and being like, "How did you survive without an iPhone?" I still ask some people that question.

Ben: I don't know how I do it, Andrew.

[Andrew laughs]

Emerson: Me neither!

Ben: Andrew's had like seven iPhones in the past two years.

[Emerson laughs]

Eric: Okay.

Andrew: That's not true.

Eric: But there's this note here, guys. Is somebody going to read that?

Andrew: Yeah. My point with this was Hermione's parents were in Diagon Alley - Jo made that clear. But my question is, aren't there any rules? Are there any limits - who's allowed to enter?

Emerson: There's a bouncer, actually.

Andrew: Well, I guess that would make sense, wouldn't it? I mean, there's got to be some sort of regulation because - I guess Hermione's parents know that they can't just bring anyone in and be like, "Hey! Everybody come check out this magic stuff."

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: But where is the line? Can they tell extended family members about Hermione? Can they not because the Ministry is all secret, they don't want any magic to get out?

Eric: Yeah, but yet they have these totally Muggle people, totally Muggle. Like, completely Muggle.

Andrew: Yeah, Diagon Alley! Seeing all this magic.

Ben: Let's be real here...

Eric: And my question is what can and can't they see? Is the other thing, because there's this recurring theme in the books: "Oh, Muggles! They don't notice nuffink, do they?" And that's Stan Shunpike in Prisoner of Azkaban, but they can obviously occupy this space because they're here in Diagon Alley. Just what do they make of it?

Emerson: Yeah. What if the Muggles are just sitting there and they have no idea, they can't see anything going on? They're so confused like, "This is so boring."

[Andrew laughs]

Emerson: "What are we doing here?"

Ben: Let's be honest, though. If the wizarding world were real - it would be on Twitter. You know what I mean?

[Emerson laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Right.

Ben: The cat would be let out of the bag. Somebody would be like, "Oh my god!"

Andrew: "I'm in the wizarding..." Yeah. "I'm staring at moving paintings!"

Eric: Yeah, but I mean, there are other things - places like Hogwarts that make you mentally remember that you've forgotten something when you show up. Are there similar restrictions on Muggles who visit Diagon Alley to accompany their kid to school?

Andrew: Well, I guess they have to let parents because, you know, parents want to protect their kids. I don't know. I think that would be another interesting - write that down, Micah. Interesting question for Jo, number 492.

Micah: You've got a lot of stuff prepared for next week.

Emerson: Maybe there's a charm that can measure intent...

Andrew: Aaaah.

Emerson: ...and never let you enter Diagon Alley...

Andrew: Yeahhh.

Emerson: ...if you have malicious intentions.

Eric: They should apply that to Hogwarts students, then, so that they don't become Voldemort.

Andrew: [laughs] All right, let's continue.

Ben: So we meet Gilderoy Lockhart and he just throws Harry into the spotlight. The confrontation follows with Draco and J.K. Rowling again stresses in italics referring to Ginny as Harry's "girlfriend" - Draco referring to Ginny as Harry's girlfriend. Is this foreshadowing or is she just trying to emphasize the sneering? I doubt it's foreshadowing at this point. Maybe...

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: You do?

Ben: Yeah, I mean...

Andrew: It's not direct foreshadowing.

Ben: It's not really foreshadowing.

Eric: I mean, it's because of the events - like, it's because of quotes, comments like that early in the series that I was so open to and like, happy that Ginny and Harry did get together.

Andrew: Yeah, but look at - you also have to look at it from the, what, the eleven or twelve-year-old age range where, you know, in elementary school or middle school when you say, "Is she your girlfriend?"

[Eric mock gasps]

Andrew: You know, it's like, "No, what are you talking about?" Like, you know, everyone's - everyone is offended to, you know, be teased that someone has a girlfriend, that kind of thing.

Eric: But so far, just in this chapter, we've gone over at least two things already that are items that play a significant role in Book Six. There are certain books in the Harry Potter series that go together quite similarly. I don't know if you guys - like Two and Six, for instance, are very similar. You know, we're talking about Borgin and Burkes, which we learn all about the back story of in Book Six.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: Harry - you know, Ginny is Harry's girlfriend. The Horcruxes, you know, is a big deal because...

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: ...the first Horcrux is the diary, which happened in Book Two and becomes a big role in Book Six.

Andrew: We've talked about this before. Yeah, these books are - we had a Main Discussion on this, how One is like Seven, Two is like Six, Three is like Five...

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: ...and then Four is just there...

Eric: I just said Two is like Six, so we're seeing lots of these things that connect to...

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: ...later books and specifically Six.

Andrew: The Chamber of Secrets and Half-Blood Prince especially are very closely connected. And as we all know, we've brought up a million times, there was - may have it backwards - there was a chapter that was going to be in Chamber of Secrets that was moved to Half-Blood Prince, correct?

Emerson: Yeah, I think she said that.

Andrew: Yeah. Okay, so then we get into this fight between Arthur and Lucius. And honestly, I forgot about this because I'm so used to seeing the movie where this doesn't happen, but we'll talk about that later. We really begin to see the core differences between these two pureblood families. This is where Lucius slips the diary to Ginny and as Micah writes, "Isn't that awfully convenient?"

Micah: Yeah. I mean, what are the chances that he runs into the Weasleys, that he can slip it into Ginny's - I forget which book it was, you learn later in the - in Chamber of Secrets which book it got put into, but even in the movie, obviously it's one of those camera moments where it's not really up close but you can kind of see it happening.

Andrew: You see it, yeah. There's a specific shot.

Micah: There's no hint to it, though, here.

Andrew: Right.

Micah: Which makes it - makes it kind of - you know at the end of the book, it's - well, how did Harry figure out that it was Lucius who slipped it in, in Diagon Alley? Other than Dobby just nodding his head but...

Andrew: Right.

Micah: It's just one of those things where you - you'd think with all the detail that J.K. Rowling puts into the books that she would have somehow been able to write her way around it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Well there is the reference, you know later in this chapter - it's the same chapter when Ginny says, "Oh I forgot my diary," and they have to go back to the Burrow...

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: ...trying to get to King's Cross on time when they have...

Micah: It's the beginning of the next chapter.

Eric: ...for her diary. Oh, it is? Sorry, my bad. But yeah, and it's like none of the family says, "Oh, you've never had a diary before." But it's a specific mention of Ginny's diary which, you know, the movie did it better at showing Lucius slipping in the book. It's an all out fist fight, as Andrew said, so it's conceivable...

Andrew: Where Hagrid comes in, yeah.

Eric: Yeah. Whereas it's conceivable that - that Lucius would do that. It is a question, you know, that Harry knew that that's what had happened. But I guess that's...

Ben: But how could they have - how could they have hinted at this slip? Like what could they have said? Like, "Ginny's cauldron mysteriously had an extra book in it."

Eric: Yeah. [unintelligible]

Andrew: Well, no. Maybe Jo could have highlighted Lucius putting the book in, "Harry could have sworn it looked just a tad different than the one she had in there prior."

Ben: [laughs] That would be obvious.

Andrew: I don't know! Come on, it's J.K. Rowling, you know.

Eric: Lucius is there, it's a distraction and...

Andrew: But if you had read it at the time, you wouldn't have thought about it.

Ben: Well, I mean, isn't it awfully convenient? That's kind of like saying "they can do magic."

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Isn't that really convenient?

Andrew: Yes, but okay...

Micah: But how would the book have gotten there otherwise? That's the better question, I guess.

Andrew: Mhm.

Eric: What do you mean?

Andrew: Well...

Eric: How would the diary...

Micah: How would it have ended up at Hogwarts?

Eric: Oh. Well, just give it to Draco.

Andrew: It was mailed. Yeah maybe - maybe Jo...

Emerson: There's a million ways it could have got to Hogwarts.

Andrew: Yeah. I just think reading it again after knowing what happens, it would have been cool to see the little hint.

Emerson: I agree with that.

Andrew: Let's move on, though. Some random other little facts just to wrap up this chapter: Ginny still acts weird around Harry; Percy has been holed up in his room for most of the summer; we're introduced to travel by Floo Powder.

Ben: Ooh!

Andrew: Mrs. Weasley says when the letters arrive at the Burrow that Dumbledore, "Doesn't miss a trick." She jokes at the expense - there are jokes at the expense of the bird's "malting gray feather duster." Wait, what? What is this?

Eric: I put that in. I'm sorry. It's not in proper person. There are two jokes about the owls, about Errol. Like at first Harry thinks Errol is a "malting grey feather duster."

Andrew: Oh.

Eric: That he's a bird. And then Hermione's note to Ron saying: "I hope Harry is okay, but if you want to tell me about it, you should probably use a different bird" [laughs] "because another delivery might finish your one off."

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: It was a great Hermione letter. It's probably one of my favorite things she's said or written, and I thought I'd put in because it's like, why is J.K. Rowling being cruel to the birds?

Andrew: Right.

Eric: Like, what did birds ever do to J.K. Rowling?

Andrew: Well, she must have something about them. She killed Hedwig.

Eric: [laughs] Yeah! Exploded Hedwig.

Andrew: Yeah.

Chapter-by-Chapter: "The Whomping Willow"

Andrew: So let's move on to the next chapter, "The Whomping Willow." They - so Eric mentioned this earlier - there's a quote on page 66: "They had almost reached the highway when Ginny shrieked that she'd left her diary." Now I don't really see it as a hint. I think it's sort of a clever little addition. But then we also saw - who else forgot something? Fred or George?

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Fred forgot his broomstick, George forgot his fireworks, or the other way around.

Ben: But man, she leaves her diary at home, this book's over.

[Eric laughs]

Micah: Yeah, it's true.

Ben: There's no point.

Eric: If Arthur Weasley said, "Screw it, I'll mail it to you"...

Ben: So it's really Arthur's fault.

Eric: For not being a firmer father.

Andrew: Right. [laughs]

Eric: And not saying, "No, forget about it. Get it when you get home."

Andrew: And this is also the chapter where Harry and Ron cannot get through the entrance to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. And so this brings up a couple debates. They try to get in, then they're like, "Oh, shoot! What should we do?" And Ron notes that he doesn't know when his parents will be coming back. Although, it should be kind of obvious because they waited till - they tried to get in like a minute before the train left. Then they knew the train had left, so theoretically his parents should have been coming out very soon thereafter. So the question is, why didn't they - ignoring the fact that this is a story and Jo could have just simply changed the plot, the question is why couldn't of - why did they take the car? Why couldn't they have just waited for Ron's parents?

Ben: Because you have to look at the fact. They'd just come off Year One where they were these big heroes doing big things, and whenever a big problem presents itself, you come up with an even bigger solution. And so, in this situation...

Eric: Nice way of putting it.

Ben: In this situation, they're pretty confident in themselves.

Andrew: Right.

Ben: And they think, "You know what? We'll just take the car. I mean, Mom and Dad can Apparate. It all makes sense," without really thinking it through like the kids they were at the time.

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: Just dive head-on and they screwed up.

Emerson: I think - honestly, I think it's because J.K. Rowling wanted to put the scene with the flying car and I think she just didn't do it...

Andrew: Oh, that's the copout!

Emerson: But - I don't see - like you said, the parents should have come out like a minute later. J.K. Rowling could have wrote a better excuse in there like, "Oh, well the parents wouldn't Apparate straight back to their house" or maybe the parents wouldn't come back. And then there would be a legitimate excuse because then they could be a day late getting to Hogwarts or something like that.

Andrew: Right, right. That's true.

Eric: Yeah. Yeah, taking the car - taking the car was Ron's idea. It wasn't anybody else. So, I mean, Ron could be - it's a grandeur thing, I guess, according to Ben. But it was Ron's idea like, "Hey, wait, Harry! The car!"

Andrew: Yeah. Go ahead, Micah. You want to take the next point?

Micah: So they eventually work their way to Hogwarts and they crash into the Whomping Willow and as they're going up to the castle they're greeted by Snape. When asking about the car with no seemingly prior knowledge, J.K. Rowling notes, "This wasn't the first time Snape had given Harry the impression of being able to read minds." So, we all know that Snape is very accomplished at reading people's minds; it's also referenced in Sorcerer's Stone. So, again, just a little bit of foreshadowing, I think, as to what Snape is able to be able to do.

Ben: So, my question is, is if a teacher is able to read a student's mind, can they get them in trouble for something like, you know, like when Harry has the Marauders Map or whatever in Prisoner of Azkaban and Snape is like, "what is this stupid thing?", you know, and could he, like, read his mind and get him in trouble for the information he'd never actually divulged, but his mind actually divulged it? Does that make sense?

Eric: Well, the question is too, like mind reading and actually reading someone's thoughts and memory - because there are plenty of moments in the book where Dumbledore gives Harry this piercing stare, I mean Dumbledore does it too, but Snape giving Harry the impression that he can read minds, but that's something separate from actually casting Legilimens. And, I mean, you remember in class with Snape and Harry, Harry like relives the memories that Snape is receiving and seeing as how that doesn't happen here, in the book, you know, just at this moment, it's not the same thing, that Snape can get a general idea maybe, of what's going on, but he's not reading Harry's thoughts; he's not intruding into his mind that far. So it seems like...

Micah: Yeah, I think it's one of the simple things though.

Eric: Yeah.

Micah: In Sorcerer's Stone, he seems to think that Snape knows that Harry is gaining more and more knowledge about the Sorcerer's Stone because everywhere he seems to go, Snape seems to show up. And again here, he seems to be able to read Harry's mind at least at the very basic level to know what happened. He knew about the car. How would he possibly know about the car? Maybe he saw it driving across the grounds. I don't know.

Eric: Well, he had the copy of the Evening Prophet. I mean, that was in the book and the movie.

Micah: Yeah, you're right, but...

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: At the same time, I think, that's just one of those things I think that is written in there so that when you go back and re-read the series, you're just like: "oh, she threw that in there as a little hint."

Eric: Well, the question here in the notes is that - is that about Snape trying to protect Harry? Why did Snape particularly notice in particular that Ron and Harry were particularly not in the Great Hall at the time of the sorting and come out and look for them? Was he especially concerned with Harry getting to Hogwarts, and if so, why?

Micah: Hm. Maybe Dumbledore said to look go for him. I don't know. He trusts Snape.

Andrew: Yeah, I don't know, I was wondering about that because it just seems like - it seemed like he was - it was sort of a testament to him caring, even though he wouldn't show it and even though Harry and Ron wouldn't even consider it.

Eric: Especially after that wonderful, I - Snape has props, the best entrance ever in this book, when Harry and Ron here are debating about whether or not he got sacked. [laughs]

Andrew: Right, right.

Eric: It's one of the greatest entrances, I think, in the series.

Micah: Well, they should have put that in the movie because that probably would have been pretty funny.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah. But, I also wanted to mention - we are going to get to the other things in this chapter - we were just talking about that night right before they leave for school and Ginny forgets her diary - so for one evening, from the time they got back from Diagon Ally and before they left the next morning that both a seventh of Voldemort's soul and a convicted murderer - a non-convicted murder - was living as a rat in Ron's bedroom. The Burrow was full of some very evil stuff for just that one evening, a Horcrux and Peter Pettigrew. I was just thinking that.

Micah: Well, two Horcruxes.

Ben: Two.

Eric: Two? Sorry? What?

Micah: Harry.

Eric: Harry.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Oh, sorry Ben, the two published authors among us have corrected me.

Andrew: One of them was Micah.

Ben: That was Micah.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: My bad. I thought it was Ben, sorry.

Ben: Clean the crap out of your ears.

Andrew: Okay, well, we got to speed this up a little faster. Speed it up a little more I should say. Other things to note - Ron's wand snaps. Micah, real quick, was there anything you wanted to say about that?

Micah: No, that's why it's just other things to note.

Andrew: Oh, okay. Well, that's one thing to note.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: Dumbledore's humor, you know, it always shines through, Andrew.

Andrew: It does, Ben. What does he say in this chapter that really shined through?

Ben: He said, [imitating Dumbledore] "Come Severus, there is an delicious looking custard tart I want to sample."

Andrew: [laughs] I thought that was funny because Dumbledore is always about the food and you know...

Emerson: Socks.

Andrew: Socks, random stuff. Knitting, knitting patterns.

[Emerson laughs]

Eric: Tarts, yeah.

Chapter-by-Chapter: "Gilderoy Lockhart"

Andrew: Yeah. So that's good. Okay, so, the final chapter we are talking about today, "Gilderoy Lockhart." It starts off with Ron getting the Howler and Harry feels terrible for what he did after hearing Mr. Weasley was facing an inquiry at work. And it's really funny, of course, because we see - and it turned out great in the movie too - Mrs. Weasley yelling at Ron and it's a really embarrassing moment for Ron too. And then Lockhart later on thinks that the flying car - he pulls Harry aside - he's about to go into Herbology and - this is really funny - and Lockhart was so obnoxious in this book, I'd forgotten. He thinks the flying car was a publicity stunt after he gave Harry a taste of fame in Flourish and Blotts. He says, "When I was twelve, I was just as much of a nobody as you are now. In fact, I would say I was even more of a nobody. I mean a few people have heard of you, haven't they? All that business with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." I thought that was so funny.

Ben: Fame is a fickle friend.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Celebrity is as celebrity does.

Micah: Is he supposed to be Hogwarts' resident metro sexual?

Andrew: Yes. Absolutely!

Micah: Someone described him that way. I can't remember who it was. Maybe it was J.K. Rowling.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: I feel like - I was going to say, it may have been her.

Eric: I don't think she called him a metro sexual though. I don't think Jo talks about that stuff.

Ben: He's just one of those people who are so self-absorbed that they go as far as to think that everything is about them. "I gave you that taste of fame."

Eric: I remember the people that - do you guys remember the people that would come forward and say, "Hey, Jo based Lockhart on me?" You know, there were like...

Andrew: Oh, right.

Eric: ...at least two people who said that. But it's kind of like that song "You're So Vain."

Ben: [singing] I bet you think this song is about you.

Emerson: And I've been saying this for like a decade now, but I still think that Cary Elwes would have been an amazing Gilderoy Lockhart.

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: Who?

Emerson: The guy from Princess Bride and Robin Hood.

Eric: Though do you not like Kenneth Branagh as Lockhart?

Emerson: No, he was good but I think Cary Elwes would have been amazing.

Eric: Yeah, I think he should do something in Movie 7.

Andrew: And then, of course there's the Mandrake mayhem, you know, all that crazy stuff going on, which was a clever little plot, but there's not much to discuss, so we'll just go right past it. We also meet Colin Creevey and Lockhart shows up again, thinking Harry is signing photographs of himself.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: And that was really well-written, Lockhart's like "Oh, I should have known it was Harry."

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: And everyone was taunting. So that was funny.

Ben: And there's an interesting quote from Ron...

Andrew: In your mic, in your mic.

Ben: Oh, there's an interesting quote from Ron: "You'd better hope Creevey doesn't meet Ginny, or they'll be starting a Harry Potter Fan Club!"

Andrew: I know, it's kind of interesting because right around then was when MuggleNet and all these Harry Potter fan clubs were kicking off. I thought.

Eric: When that book was published, yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, I mean, it's sort of funny timing. When I read that I was like, ohhh!

Ben: Thanks, Ron. Good idea.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Emerson: One year later...

Ben: Emerson, we'll get to that later.

Andrew: Now I know how you got that idea, you stole it from Ron!

Eric: A Harry Potter fan club sounds like a good idea!

Ben: And then Lockhart attempts to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts and he of course fails miserably. And Ron's the first to question him, and he says, "Can you believe him?" And this is when the pixies are happening.

Andrew: Right.

Emerson: Peskipiksi Pesternomi!

[Eric laughs]

Ben: And then Harry, of course, can tell he doesn't have a clue what he's doing and Hermione is kind of love struck by Lockhart and she's defending him - because he wrote books! And if he writes books, then he must know what he's talking about!

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: And Ron of course calls it, by saying, "He says he's done all this stuff." So that was interesting. Does anyone remember reading this for the first time and being like, hmm, I wonder if he was full of it, or was he - did he actually do all that stuff?

Emerson: I think that scene made it pretty clear that he didn't [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah...

Emerson: He definitely did not perform all those amazing feats.

Eric: So the question was, you know, did he fake them all? Or...

Emerson: He couldn't even handle pixies!

Listener Question: Magical Welfare System

Andrew: He absolutely did! Yeah, he absolutely did fake them all, yeah. Okay, so let's get into some listener questions and tweets.

Ben: Kat, 16, from Los Angeles, California - SoCal, holler! Me and Andrew!

Andrew: So Cal, baby! Woo!

Ben: Me and Andrew - I have to announce I'm permanently a resident of Southern California now. I have a...

Andrew: Congratulations, Ben. [claps]

Eric: Permanently? You're not sneaking in someone's room while they're away on vacation?

Ben: No, no, I actually have an apartment now.

Eric: Damn.

Ben: That's why I'm live here in the MuggleCast Studio and you can expect more of this moving forward here in the future.

Andrew: Glad to hear it.

Ben: So, again. Kat, 16, from SoCal writes,

"Hey MuggleCast! I just listened to the latest podcast, number 182, in which you guys talked about discussing chapters 4, 5, and 6 of 'Chamber of Secrets' in your next episode. After going back and re-reading these chapters, the Flourish and Blotts bit got me wondering. What happens to wizarding families like the Weasleys who are short of money and are sending their kids to Hogwarts? When Hogwarts letters are sent out to first-year students, does the school faculty take into consideration whether or not the family can actually afford to send their kid to school? I don't know if there's any kind of welfare system in the wizarding world, or support from Hogwarts to help families in need, but it's obvious not everyone can live luxuriously like the Malfoys, where sending their kid to Hogwarts costs them next to nothing. If the family can't send their kid to Hogwarts, what other alternative do they have? Anyway, just wondering about what you guys thought. Love the show, it makes the bus ride to and from school much more enjoyable. I look forward to the next podcast. Kat."

Andrew: Don't you think like most colleges...

Ben: Financial aid?

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Ben: Student loans?

Andrew: [laughs] Right!

Ben: You know, Gringotts probably has a program...

Andrew: They got a loan business on the side.

Emerson: I would like to know what Muggle-born families do when they come to school. Is there a Galleon-Pound exchange rate?

Ben: Well, obviously.

Emerson: Makes me wonder why there would be because...

Andrew: Well, there is, yeah, there's a reference in Chamber of Secrets to that. When they first meet Hermione's parents.

Ben: Yeah, there is seventeen Sickles to a - you're right, but I wonder why wizards couldn't just easily conjure up fake pounds and dollars...

Andrew: Well, they probably have a way to...

Ben: Those goblins are clever.

Andrew: They can probably detect the fake stuff.

Emerson: No, if wizards wanted to use Muggle money for some reason.

[Andrew and Ben]: Oh!

Emerson: It seems altogether too easy for them to conjure up fake pound notes, or fake dollar bills, and no Muggle is going to be able to detect it.

Ben: Or they could just walk into a Muggle store and stun everybody really quick.

[Everyone laughs]

Emerson: Yeah, exactly.

Ben: Just walk out with whatever they want.

Emerson: There's a million spells they could use if they wanted any Muggle goods.

Andrew: Well, Jo wrote this when the world wasn't as crazy as it is today.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: [singing] What's going on?

[Andrew laughs]

Emerson: Wait, you're telling me ten years from now, they're going to be questioning the Galleon-Pound exchange rate?

Andrew: Kind of speaking of that, there is this book, that I really want to read, it's called The Magicians. It's about this wizard, who's in the real world. Apparently, it's been getting really good reviews. It's relatively new. It's by Lev Grossman. The Magicians. I'm sure some of you out there have read it.

Ben: That sounds original.

Eric: They'll make a movie out of it.

Andrew: [laughs] It's basically about this guy, who lives - he's a wizard in the real world and that sort of reminded me of it, Emerson. I'm sure some of you have read it and I'm going to read it soon. But, anyway, I think we answered Kat's question. Micah, would you like to read the next email?

Ben: From Brisbane.

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