Chapter-by-Chapter: "Mudbloods and Murmurs"

Andrew: Yeah, there you go. I was going to say, I'm going to post it on my computer. What lesson will I learn from Harry today? Okay, well let's get into Chapter-by-Chapter. This is our third installment in the Chamber of Secrets series. Today we're talking about Chapter seven through nine of Chamber of Secrets. And in these three chapters we're looking at things getting darker in this book as they find that mysterious message written on the wall, and Mrs. Norris hanging petrified, and also there's the fun Deathday party in this block of chapters too. So let's start with Chapter seven: "Mudbloods and Murmurs." It starts off with J.K. Rowling kind of setting the tone, and there's this quote: "Hedwig was still angry with Harry about the disastrous car journey." Now my question is: do animals in the wizarding world have some sort of additional set of emotions? Because in the real world a pet will love its owner no matter what and certainly won't hold a grudge.

Mikey: That's not true.

Ben: My dog has held a grudge against me before.

Andrew: Really?

Ben: Yeah, he's been - if I don't let him up on my lap he'll...

Andrew: He'll remember it?

Ben: ...go tear up my shoe or something crazy.

Mikey: That's true.

Andrew: I thought pets loved you no matter what!

Mikey: All right, it wasn't until - you know I just moved right now. My cat that I have did not like the new house at all.

Andrew: Uh-huh.

Mikey: It wasn't until about today, maybe yesterday, that she started to get on my lap again and be kind of mellow. The last few days her tail was big and bushy, and she was angry, she didn't know where she was. She was scared. She didn't like the move.

Andrew: Okay, but she was...

Ben: Was she angry towards you or was it just the new environment that garbled her?

Andrew: Yeah, I think it's just the new environment.

Mikey: But at the same time, she was angry, she wasn't coming to me, she wasn't hanging out with me because I moved her. You know what I mean?

Andrew: Ahhh.

Mikey: She was angry because of the new environment, just like I'm sure Hedwig was angry because of the disastrous car journey. But she was - Hedwig and my cat were not coming to me, just like Hedwig wasn't going to go to Harry and be all happy because she didn't know what was going on, she was still shell-shocked.

Andrew: I just find it silly for an owl to hold a grudge. [laughs] I don't know. Because...

Mikey: I think Hedwig had every right to hold that grudge!

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: It's not like Hedwig got in any sort of trouble or suffered much. I mean, yeah, she was thrown around a little bit but...

Mikey: It ruffled her feathers the wrong way, my friend.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: I guess so. We learn stuff everyday from owls.

Micah: Think about Crookshanks though too, in Prisoner of Azkaban, and how he works with Sirius. So maybe there is an added something.

Mikey: Well Crookshanks isn't a cat though, it's a - what? - Kneazle? Something like that.

Ben: Yeah, that's right.

Mikey: So it's supposed to be smarter than a cat so Crookshanks is kind of unique in that sense because it is a - it's not a normal animal. It's a magical animal.

Ben: What kind of cat do you have, Mikey?

Mikey: I have an American short-hair.

[Ben laughs]

Mikey: It's a little tabby cat. She's awesome. Honestly, I was not a cat person, you know me, I was a dog person. But this cat's rad.

Andrew: So moving along...

Mikey: Sorry.

Andrew: The weekend arrives for Harry - no it's fine - after the aforementioned point, and Ron's wand issues really made this week a difficult one, as Harry is feeling, and Oliver wakes him up early for an unscheduled Quidditch practice and Creevey bugs Harry - or Colin Creevey bugs Harry - on his way out. We see Colin Creevey a lot in this chapter, by the way, just constantly bugging Harry. I forgot how pesky he was, you know?

Ben: That's kind of how you are to me, Andrew.

[Mikey laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, I'm bugging you. "Hey, Ben! Hey, Ben!"

Ben: Ever since I moved out here he's just always knocking on my door. Like, "Want to go to Subway? Want to go..."

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: "Want to go out to eat, dude?"

Andrew: "Can you sign this picture for me?" So Oliver is extra careful about training the team this year. After last year, they lost with, quote, "their worst defeat in three hundred years." The blame is on Harry because they were a player short. They didn't have Harry to be the Seeker. So I'm wondering why is it - why didn't they have a substitute teacher for - or...

Ben: Harry's just...

Andrew: ...a player...

Mikey: A substitute Seeker?

Andrew: Yeah a substitute Seeker. Because in real-world sports, they have a pinch-hitter or, you know...

Ben: They have bench players...

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: ...who come in.

Mikey: But you know what though? With a substitute Seeker - the Seeker ends the game so the game wouldn't end without someone catching it, and again, the Snitch is 150 points. So without Harry, they knew whoever they put in there was just not going to catch it anyways. So I think - I think they may have had someone...

Andrew: Well...

Mikey: ...even though it doesn't really say he does.

Andrew: No, no, they said in the book they were a player short.

Mikey: No, I remember they said they were a player short, but I don't know if that implies that they actually went out without a Seeker because...

Andrew: Mmmm.

Mikey: ...then they couldn't win at all because they couldn't end the game.

Andrew: Unless the other team caught it.

Ben: Basically you're saying, oh, without Harry, no matter who's going to be there, it's still effectively a player short...

Mikey: They were still a player short because they didn't have a trained Seeker.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Their full force.

Mikey: Yeah.

Andrew: No, that is one way to look at it, but who knows if that's actually right? I mean it wouldn't surprise me that - the way I read it - and Micah, well, Micah, what do you think about this? Do you think - which way do you think Jo meant it?

Micah: Well, I like your point about a substitute player. They always say that the most important player on a football team is the backup quarterback, so you're right. It is kind of weird that they don't have somebody who can step in and make a difference or at least try to keep them in the game.

Andrew: Yeah. Maybe be half as good as Harry.

Ben: Yeah, you would think that - you would think that the back-up Seeker position would be almost as coveted as the Seeker position...

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: ...on one of these teams.

Andrew: Yeah. Was this final game in Harry's last year - was that even in the book?

Mikey: No.

Ben: Well - he wakes up in the hospital wing and...

Andrew: Oh.

Ben: ...finds out they got crushed by Slytherin.

Andrew: Yeah, okay. Hmmm, well yeah, I think they should have some sort of rules going in there and Micah brings up a good point. You got to have to substitute a player waiting in the wings! But maybe it's not part of the rules.

Mikey: Wait - hold on! Didn't they have substitute players, though, during the fifth year, when a bunch of people started getting banned and different people started stepping in? Like, when Harry got banned, didn't different people take over and didn't Ginny come in and start playing?

Andrew: Yeah. Well, maybe in those cases there was more time to train someone, but they don't have - maybe they just don't always have someone waiting in the wings no matter what, you know what I mean? Because like...

Mikey: Well, see - when you said they don't - because I read it too that they didn't have a player. They were a player short, so that's how I read it. But I'm thinking, like - again, that's such a minute point. I feel like we're talking way too much about it sometimes.

Andrew: Well, you know us. We overanalyze everything.

Mikey: I know. But it's - I don't know.

Andrew: Well yeah, okay.

Mikey: I would think there was something there.

Andrew: Okay. So moving along, as they're about to begin their Quidditch practice, the Slytherin team comes in and presents a note from Snape, explaining that they can use the field to train their new Seeker. The new Seeker is revealed to be Malfoy, who is let onto the team on account of his father buying an entire team Nimbus 2001s. Those lucky kids.

Ben: Ooooh!

Mikey: Ooh!

Andrew: So here's another question about Quidditch: Should there be a rule to regulate fair Quidditch game play where all teams must be using the same brooms? I mean, I never understood that. Why can one team have a certain set of brooms and another team have another set? It's not fair game play, really.

Mikey: It is - it's like...

Andrew: It's like baseball players having extra special bats that make them hit the ball further.

Ben: Yeah, and it really turns - you know, like the Yankees just won the World Series...

Andrew: Right.

Ben: ...and a lot of the big complaint is that they're this big market team, they have all this money to spend on these better players.

Andrew: Right.

Ben: Now, in Quidditch, it basically puts a financial aspect on how good a team can be because if you the best brooms, you know? The Weasleys there's a couple - several Weasleys on the Hogwarts - on the Gryffindor team...

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: ...and their parents are poor - they can't afford the good brooms! That automatically puts them at a disadvantage, but that seems to be how society is.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Unfortunately.

Andrew: Yeah, I guess so. Just seems weird.

Mikey: Well, I don't think there should be a rule there - I compare the broom - it's almost like cleats or shoes. Like, you know - not every runner has the same type of shoes. Not every football player has the same type of cleats.

Ben: Right. But think about - you can still run fast. They aren't like, "Oh, well, he has $600 cleats so his cleats are going to be better," you know? Like, if there's a broom that's a Nimbus 2001, that's clearly going to beat a Cleansweep 7.

Andrew: Right.

Ben: It just doesn't handle as much...

Mikey: Wait - well hold on! What if, like, Hermione was riding the Nimbus 2001. And you know, Harry was...

Andrew: Well, yes, it does come down to skill too...

Mikey: ...it comes down to skill! It's like us trying to drive a race car. I don't think any of us would drive any better than someone driving a Mustang who really is a professional driver. You know, if we were driving a professional car, we probably wouldn't be a better on a racetrack than someone in the Mustang.

Ben: Okay, that's a good point, Mikey. Say the Mustang has a max speed of 110 and the race car has a max speed of 180, then who's going to win?

Mikey: But here's the point is - it comes down to turns. Can you take that Mustang - can you take that race car at that speed around a turn? But a race - a professional driver could probably do it better than you could.

Ben: Right, okay. Now say we're...

Mikey: So, it does come down to skill level...

Ben: Say we're at equal...

Mikey: No, no, I still agree with you...

Ben: Now say that we're at equal skill level...

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: You have a Mustang, and I have a race car...

Mikey: Okay, then it's completely unfair, I totally agree.

Ben: So shouldn't we level out the playing field, have a standard broom, maybe?

Andrew: Yeah! There should be. There really should be.

Mikey: No, I think if it's - I think skill makes up for it, because honestly, Malfoy may have a better broom, but Harry still catches the Snitch.

Andrew: What are your thoughts on steroids in Quidditch?

[Mikey laughs]

Andrew: Because those Beaters could really, you know, if they had steroids. Micah, do you have a - you have a good perspective on sports. What do you think?

Micah: Well, I - you bring up a good point, I mean, we see it all the time, though, is that it's always like they're trying to one up each other every time Quidditch comes up in the book. It's like, Harry gets the Nimbus 2000, then Draco gets the Nimbus 2001, then Harry gets the Firebolt.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: And it's just - it's one of those things where I agree, there should be a - some sort of a school standard...

Andrew: I demand standard! Standards!

Micah: ...of the broom that you use in Quidditch.

Andrew: Yeah. Ahh, wise guy.

Micah: It's kind of like, it's all acceptable, but I mean, think about what the Weasleys use. I think Ben mentioned that before.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: They're on these [censored] slow brooms...

[Mikey laughs]

Micah: I can't say that, can I?

Andrew: What are they called, the Chasers...?

Mikey: The Cleansweep.

Ben: But Mikey - Mikey's pretty much saying it's the Weasleys fault they're poor. That's what Mikey's saying.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Mikey: No, I'm not saying that it's their fault they're poor. I'm not saying that.

Ben: It was implied.

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: No, I'm - I love the Weasleys. I'm just saying that I understand where it - I don't think it has to be regulated because then what's the point of Harry getting this awesome Firebolt later on? Hmm?

Ben: Well, there would be no point to it because everyone would have equal brooms. There would be a level playing field.

Andrew: I demand broom equality!

[Andrew and Mikey laugh]

Ben: I have a dream, that one day, all brooms will be created equal.

[Andrew and Mikey laugh]

Mikey: Wow, really?

Andrew: Okay, so...

Mikey: So a fight breaks out!

Andrew: So, then, a fight breaks out between Ben and Mikey over - no.

[Mikey laughs]

Andrew: A fight breaks out after Draco calls Hermione a Mudblood and Ron's spell accidentally backfires and makes him spit out slugs.

Ben: [as Ron] Eat slugs!

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Sorry, that's what he said in the movie.

Andrew: That's right, yeah.

Mikey: You know, I want to say something about this. Like, when I read the - when I re-read the book, because I knew what Mudblood was and I knew how, you know - and I read the reactions to everyone and I was totally taken aback, because I had forgotten, the way the book is written, you have no clue what 'Mudblood' means at that point in time. Like we know now because we've read all the other books and...

Andrew: Well no, here's the thing, yeah, that's - that's explained in...

Mikey: Yeah, it's - is it explained before that?

Ben: No, it's explained when they go to Hagrid's Hut afterwards.

Mikey: Yeah, when they go to Hagrid's Hut. But you see, Harry's like, I know Draco said something really bad - that's what it says in the book and it's like, you see all the reactions of everyone, but Harry is completely clueless.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah.

Mikey: And like, I thought that was kind of cool because...

Andrew: And so was Hermione.

Mikey: Yeah, Hermione's not upset. But whereas in the movie, she's hurt and upset...

Andrew: Right.

Mikey: ...and everyone kind of knows. And, for some reason, I just kind of - that whole scene I always thought of just as in the movie, but reading it again I was kind of like, oh wow, Harry's kind of oblivious to this and everyone's reacting and he's just like, he must have said something really bad.

Andrew: Yeah. Well here's - yeah. Yeah, we'll get to that more in a minute - and Ron's curse - what I wanted to talk about right before that is Ron's curse definitely would have gotten him in trouble and, as Hagrid later says, Lucius would have put pressure on Dumbledore to do something about it. And Ron's immaturity and lack of thinking before doing shines through here. And...

Mikey: Yeah.

Andrew: I don't know why - I wonder what would have happened to him if he - I mean, he did fire a curse. I know he was pretty upset because he knew what Mudblood meant, but...

Mikey: Well think about it. When - when Buckbeak hurt Draco, what did Lucius do there? Wanted Buckbeak dead.

Andrew: Right, exactly.

Mikey: So like, imagine, you know...

Andrew: He would have expected...

Mikey: A Weasley, a Weasley...

Andrew: Yeah. You would have thought that Ron would have calmed himself down though, I mean, especially after getting that Howler from his mother.

[Mikey laughs]

Ben: He never learns, that Ron Weasley.

Andrew: He never learns, nope.

Ben: Well, I mean, at this point...

Micah: He's got a thing for Hermione...

Ben: ...he's already started to develop a few feelings for Hermione, and he doesn't want to admit it.

Andrew: That's true.

Ben: And no one calls his Hermione a Mudblood.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Andrew: What were you saying, Micah?

Micah: No, I was about to say the same thing Ben did.

Andrew: Oh, okay. Okay, so, last week we discussed why Dumbledore chose Lockhart for the job and, as Ben correctly explained last week, as does Hagrid this chapter, that he was quote, and I wrote this out not in Hagrid's impression because it's too hard to type out. "The only man for the job, and I mean the only one. Getting very difficult to find anyone for the Dark Arts job. People aren't too keen to take it on. They're starting to think it's jinxed." That's what Hagrid says. So, right on Ben.

Ben: Right on.

Andrew: And then, this is the big movie difference right here. This is what Mikey brought up; Ron explains, and knew, what the word ‘Mudblood' meant. And Hermione did not know what it meant when Draco said it. But in the movie, of course, Hermione knows what it means and sobs upon explaining it in Hagrid's Hut. And it's a very sad scene. Now, I'm wondering why W.B. would change this? Because - and we're going to get to another example in another one of these chapters coming up later in the show, but what's the deal with letting Ron being a little smart every once and a while? Why does have to be the dumb third wheel?

Mikey: Well, you know what? Ron did know it in the movie. He did, because that's...

Andrew: Well...

Mikey: ...why he cursed...

Andrew: Yes.

Mikey: ...tried to curse Draco. You know what? I think in the movie if - reading the book it seemed like Hermione wasn't really upset. And in the movie it plays better emotions wise.

Andrew: Yeah. I just think it could have worked if Ron explained it in the movie, I mean, Hermione still could have sobbed...

Mikey: I agree.

Andrew: And been like, [fake sobbing] "Right Ron! You're so smart!"

Mikey: [laughs] I agree.

Ben: What was that other line that Hermione stole from Ron?

Andrew: Oh, later in the...

Ben: Maybe it was in the first movie?

Andrew: Well, there's an explanation about Squibs coming up in chapter nine...

Mikey: Yeah.

Andrew: That Ron says, but it's not in the movie.

Ben: Poor Rupert.

Andrew: I know. I think that's what I'm thinking about. Oh well, we'll get to it later though. Okay, to wrap up this chapter, after returning to the castle from Hagrid's, McGonagall greets them upon their entrance and issues the detentions for the car incident. Ron was to clean the trophies with Filch and Harry is to help Lockhart respond to fan mail. And of course Harry's dreading that. And Lockhart's all excited and is like ‘Oh, it's so much better than cleaning the trophies.' And then, while signing the fan mail, Harry hears the basilisk for the first time! And he doesn't know what it is, of course, and notices Lockhart doesn't hear it and at this point Lockhart realizes what time it is and sends him home. And then, once back in the Common Room, he explains it to Ron, and Ron is just as baffled. He doesn't know what it means either.

Chapter-by-Chapter: "The Deathday Party"

Mikey: Yeah.

Micah: Nick just doesn't get it.

Andrew: Yeah, what's the deal with that Micah?

Micah: I don't know. Maybe...

Andrew: Why does he want to be...

Micah: ...we should ask him.

Andrew: ...in the Headless Hunt so much?

Micah: He's looking for a place to belong to, I think. He's lonely, you know?

Ben: And he's so close!

Micah: Going about the castle all the time.

Ben: An eighth of an inch, you know?

Andrew: Yeah, but - yeah. But he's got Helga. He's got people he can chill with at Hogwarts. So soon after that, Filch tracks Harry down and berates him for bringing mud into the school and Filch brings Harry to the office when they're a couple minutes into Filch's sentencing when he hears Peeves causing havoc on the floor above and Filch runs out, and while he's gone Harry notices that he's been learning a Kwikspell course. He sees it on his desk and when Filch returns he notices the envelope had moved and he claims it was for a friend but flips out on Harry. Filch lets him go detention free and Nick greets him upstairs and explains that it was actually him, Nick, who got Peeves to cause the havoc. And then Harry was like, "Oh! That's so nice of you, Nick!" And he wants to return the favor, so that's when Harry accepts Nick's invitation to the Deathday party and Nick is thrilled and also asks Harry to let Sir Patrick know that Nick is quite scary. I'm talking too much though.

Mikey: No, no. I wanted to get to this point.

Andrew: Okay, go ahead.

Mikey: When I read this again, it kind of reminded me of Slughorn... of Harry. Why would Nick invite Harry among everyone else? It's because he's Harry Potter.

Andrew: Right.

Mikey: And I think that's almost selfish of Nearly Headless Nick that he wanted to have the famous Harry Potter come to his party and speak.

Andrew: Yeah it's really not in his character, is it?

Mikey: Yeah! And it's seems like - I never really thought of Nearly Headless Nick as kind of selfish in that way.

Andrew: Yeah, like a Slughorn - "Oh, I need to have you at my party."

Mikey: Yeah, like he'd need to collect Harry and have Harry talk good about me and talk me up. It was just odd because it seemed almost out of place, but I guess, obviously it wasn't.

Micah: It was almost 500 years though, in all fairness. It's a pretty big party.

Mikey: That's true. It was his big party. So, it makes sense.

Micah: But what I thought interesting from this was that if it wasn't for Nearly Headless Nick, then in - what was it? In Half-Blood Prince, there wouldn't have been a way for the Death Eaters to get into Hogwarts because I'm assuming that this cabinet that he breaks is the same cabinet that ends up in the Room of Requirement - that Peeves breaks.

Andrew: Oh, yeah! Filch actually calls it the Vanishing Cabinet.

Micah: So...

Mikey: Mhm.

Micah: Peeves broke it and because of Nearly Headless Nick, Dumbledore died.

Ben: Oh my...

[Everyone gasps]

Andrew: No!

Ben: Look at that!

Mikey: It's a connection!

Andrew: Well, there's another good example of how the books run - what is it called? We were talking about it last week. How one is like seven, two is like six. There's the Chamber of Secrets/Half-Blood Prince connection. Very cool.

Micah: It's true.

Andrew: Good catch, Micah.

Micah: Thanks.

Andrew: So moving along, through this fine chapter. They go to - the day of the Death Party. Hold on, let me try this again. So, the day of Nick's Deathday party arrives, and the trio's kind of regretting accepting the invitation in lieu of the Hogwarts Halloween feast because they're kind of nervous about it. They don't know what to expect. Rightly so, because who's ever been to a party celebrating someone's death after 500 years? And upon entry, they're blown away by all the ghosts they see! J.K Rowling described it as being "surreal", or "remarkable", or something like that. They encounter Moaning Myrtle for the first time and Hermione is quick to point out that she's very annoying. And a little side note: in this chapter we learn that ghosts can almost taste things. When a ghost in this chapter moves his mouth through a sal-mon, and reveals this...

Ben: Salmon?

Andrew: Salmon, sorry. [laughs]

Mikey: "Sal-mons."

Andrew: And Hermione suspects that they let the food rot, so the taste is stronger. And that's pretty insane, because I wonder what the line is for like, being able to actually taste something because you're still a ghost, you still don't have taste buds.

Ben: Maybe it's like a - I don't know.

Andrew: Because I mean, if you have very, very, very poor taste buds, assuming that's what they have...

Ben: Well...

Andrew: ... would they also have very, very, very poor sense of touch or sense of smell?

Ben: Well they go right through everything so how could they...

Mikey: Yeah, they can't - they can't pick things up, right?

Andrew: No, but I'm saying if they can go through something and kind of taste it, how can they go through - why couldn't they go through something and touch it?

Ben: Oooh. Like, because taste is clearly a physical sensation.

Andrew: Right. Just like touching is.

Ben: Right. So - maybe they - I don't know. Maybe it's all in their head.

Mikey: See now can...

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

Mikey: See now can Peeves taste it because Peeves can touch things and move things because he's a poltergeist.

Ben: He'd be able - yeah.

Andrew: Well, actually the thing is J.K. Rowling had wrote that when Hermione suggested this she did so with a sense of knowledge, or she knowledgeably said this or something like that. So she implied that this was fact because Hermione knew what she was talking about.

Mikey: Yeah, but - but that's a ghost, what about poltergeists? What about Peeves? Can he taste stuff? Andrew, I'm looking to you for the answer!

Andrew: No, well, I think what Ben said. Yes, because he's a poltergeist. Because he's not a traditional ghost, so he can knock stuff over. So - I mean, unless he's doing it with wind somehow.

Mikey: [laughs] I don't know.

Andrew: I don't know. I don't know! Peeves runs into the Trio and causes trouble when he tells Myrtle what they've been saying about her and Myrtle gets very upset. And then as Nick is about to give his speech, Sir Patrick the Head of the Ghost Hunt - is that what it's called?

Mikey: The Headless Hunt.

Andrew: The Headless Hunt comes in. He comes in with a big entourage and Harry tells Sir Patrick how frightening he thinks Nick is per Nick's request of course. But Sir Patrick realizes straight away that [laughs] Nick asked him to say that. So what's the deal with this Sir Patrick guy? I mean does he - could you connect him to any other character who seem similar? I mean, he's just this really arrogant ghost who - maybe part of the reason he's not accepting Nick is just because he likes to see him suffer through this. And like he says to the Trio, he's like, "Oh yeah, he's been trying forever to get in but we keep rejecting him."

Ben: It's - he's maybe like a Lucius Malfoy, right?

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: You know. Or this is just another example of what I was talking about with - intolerance and arrogance and how people - Nearly Headless Nick - that one eighth of an inch of skin attaching his head is enough to keep him out of this elite club...

Andrew: Right.

Ben: ...where it's similar to the way that if you don't have full blood then Voldemort isn't going to accept you, you know?

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: So it's like a minor - like people are just discriminating over the most minor details.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. It's very strange. Any other thoughts guys?

Mikey: Well, do you really think that they're discriminating against him? Because that makes a difference. Like, again, he can't play headless polo because his head is still attached.

Andrew: Right. Well, yeah - I mean sure. Sir Patrick has some good arguments here but it's like, poor guy. He's been dead for 500 years. Just let him in. He just wants the title I guess.

Ben: Well, by definition - I mean, it's a club. And by definition discrimination is like rules against - to discriminate is to choose.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: And they of course are the Headless Hunt. So they're not going to want to have someone who has any part of their head still attached so - I mean, it's not necessarily unjust discrimination, but it still is a form of discrimination over something pretty minor I would say.

Andrew: I think you're right. All right, and moving still - I can't believe we're at an hour already. Time has flown by.

Ben: [sings] I try to make myself believe.

Andrew: [laughs] I think we're going to skip that today.

Ben: What?

Andrew: I already took it out of the show.

Ben: Making the Connection?

Andrew: Yeah, because...

Ben: No, that's fine.

Andrew: Yeah, because it's so long. I keep losing my place, I'm sorry. So Nick tries to give a speech but, like I said, Sir Patrick steals the spotlight and the Trio leave. They're like, "we're out of here. This thing sucks." And that's when they go - Harry hears the noises coming from the wall again and they discover on the wall, written in blood is, "The Chamber of Secrets has been opened, enemies of the heir, beware," written in blood and Ron suggests getting out of there before anyone sees them. But it's too late, because students are leaving the Great Hall after the feast and ran right into the Trio and they see the message and everybody gets silent and Draco tells the crowd that Mudbloods are next. J.K. Rowling ends the chapter with "He grinned at the sight of the hanging, immobile cat." So Draco, he's really starting to turn evil in this book.

Chapter-by-Chapter: "The Writing on the Wall"

Andrew: And this leads us to Chapter 9, "The Writing on the Wall." And this opens with Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, Lockhart, Filch and the Trio all heading into Lockhart's office to discuss what has happened. And there's an interesting quote towards the beginning here. J.K. Rowling writes, "Snape loomed behind them, half in shadow, wearing a most peculiar expression: it was as though he was trying hard not to smile." Is J.K. Rowling trying to - trying to throw us off or was he actually happy - was Snape actually happy with what was going on? Because...

Ben: I think Snape was happy that - he thought he had busted Harry doing something messed up.

Andrew: But - but - well, this is my next question. Surely he knew better than to assume it was their fault, that they did this.

Micah: No. I mean that's Snape's character. I mean, he - he - the whole series, he's out to get the Trio. He's out to get Harry. It may not seem fair but that's just the way that he is.

Andrew: Yeah, but...

Micah: He's got some issues to resolve.

Mikey: I agree with Micah on this and I think, in hindsight, knowing how Snape turns out, I think he might be more along the lines of enjoying seeing Harry squirm. He knows Harry probably didn't do this and, in fact, he even comes up and says - he even kind of stands up for Harry.

Andrew: So why do you think he's excited?

Mikey: I think he's...

Andrew: Or happy?

Mikey: I think he's enjoying watching Harry squirm...

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Mikey: ...because he knows Harry didn't do it. He's kind of like, Harry, Ron, Hermione, these Trio, these golden kids of Dumbledore are scared "s" less right now...

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: ...and he knows it and he sees it and he's just enjoying them being scared because he doesn't like Harry.

Andrew: I think that's a good point. Yeah.

Mikey: It doesn't mean that he's not going to stand up for Harry, which he does in a minute, but it's one of those things where he enjoys watching Harry squirm.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. Fair point, yeah. So basically, Harry is just upset that - or Snape is just happy to see Harry suffering, right, Mikey?

Mikey: Yeah. Yeah, I agree with you on that one.

Andrew: Okay. And so Lockhart pretends to know what happened to Mrs. Norris until Dumbledore declares that she was actually not dead, or - yeah, she was just petrified. And the teachers wonder why the Trio were walking down that corridor and Harry fears explaining what he had heard coming from the walls. Now Snape suggests Harry is removed from the Gryffindor Quidditch team for not being truthful and McGonagall quickly says that is uncalled for. Does Snape ever keep some level of professionalism? I mean, he's like Draco. This is like Draco sitting in there and being like, "I think he shouldn't be on the Quidditch team."

Mikey: Well...

Andrew: For this.

Mikey: I have to agree with you. I think - you know...

Andrew: And as McGonagall intelligently points out, there was no evidence suggesting that they had actually done this, other than Harry vamping with - trying to make up some excuse for why they were up there.

Mikey: Yeah, I agree. But I think it was kind of throw away. I think Snape knew he wasn't going to get tossed off but...

Andrew: He needs to grow up.

Mikey: No, I think it's one of those things where he wanted to see Harry squirm and sweat going, "Oh my gosh! I'm going to get kicked off this Quidditch team!" And he knew there was no way Dumbledore, with McGonagall there actually kicking him off this, because like you said before, there was no point - there was no proof that he did actually did anything wrong. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. And I think Snape said that again, going back to before, he just liked to watch Harry squirm a little bit.

Andrew: Mhm, mhm. I think you're right. And then there is an interesting quote here. The quote is: "Dumbledore was giving Harry a searching look. His twinkling light blue gaze made Harry feel as though he were being x-rayed." What was going on there? Do you think Dumbledore was kind of reading into his mind or something?

Micah: Yeah.

Mikey: I think there is a little Legilimens there.

Micah: It's just like when we heard with Snape, I think it was last time we did the show, and we mentioned the Sorcerer's Stone how he seems to be able to know when Harry is lying or that he is able to read his mind, or Harry gets that feeling.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: I think - I wouldn't be surprised if Dumbledore did it too. But I think Dumbledore probably - be a little bit more cautious about it than Snape.

Andrew: So the Trio run into a dark classroom and discuss what just went on and Ron, for the second time in these few chapters, gets to be smart, this is what I was referring to, and offers an explanation about a Squib while Hermione remains silent! And - so then later on we learn that Ginny is very upset over the attack on Mrs. Norris and Ron tries to comfort her but no avail. And it is a given, it - is it a given that Ginny thought that she would be killed soon? Why was she so upset?

Ben: She was upset because I think she explains later in the book, she was upset because she blacked out during that time period and all of the sudden she found herself standing over Mrs. Norris or whatever.

Andrew: Oh, right.

Ben: And she was like, "Oh my gosh! What am I doing? Like, what's going on here."

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. No, you're absolutely right.

Ben: Then she goes and destroys the diary - or tries to at least, in the Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: Yeah. You also have to remember Ron's trying to console her. And he's like, "Don't worry. They are going to catch the person that did this."

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: It's like, "Come on. Don't worry. They are going to kick you out."

[Micah laughs]

Mikey: So it's more of those things where Ron was really not going to be able to help her out very much there.

Andrew: No, no. Not knowing what situation she actually was in, definitely not. And like many at the school, Hermione was desperate to learn more about the Chamber of Secrets, she declares - she decides to ask Professor Binns in front of the class, what - what is the Chamber of Secrets? At first - at first he pushes it off, "I only talk about fact here." But then Hermione pushes him to answer again and he gives in. And this is another major movie difference. As we all know in the - in the film it's McGonagall's class that Hermione decides to actually answer in. Does anyone wonder why they changed it? I mean is - did they just not want Binns in - in the film so much? They wanted to use a pre-existing character everybody knew about already? I mean, because it was kind of random for Hermione to bring it up in a Transfiguration class.

Micah: Well...

Ben: Well, I mean not necessarily when you consider there's kind of a big issue going on at the school at the time...

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: And McGonagall is one of the more trusted teachers, I would say and not only that, but do we even really see Binns in the films at all?

Andrew: No, we don't.

Mikey: I don't think so.

Andrew: That's why I'm saying maybe they just didn't want to introduce another character.

Mikey: Yeah.

Ben: Too much work because they have to cast somebody and of course the cost of doing the ghost and all that too?

Andrew: Yeah, they have got to set it up and set up that character. What were you going to say, Micah?

Micah: No, I was going to say basically the same thing. I mean you already have Dobby in that film, you have ghosts in the film.

Andrew: Yeah. Mikey?

Mikey: Oh, I was just going to say the same thing and then you have to set up the back story with Binns also.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Mikey: Of the story - he's been teaching there forever. He just woke up one day and left his body behind. And that is just - more costs to it.

Andrew: McGonagall is more of an attractive person to look at too from a visual perspective. That's a joke, but not really.

[Mikey laughs]

Andrew: Thanks for the laugh.

Mikey: [laughs] Keep going. Keep going.

Andrew: So, all the students begin questioning Binns about the Monster and the Chamber. And they are all sort of like attacking him. It's like one question after another. Boom, boom, boom, boom. And who - like McGonagall believes in the movie, does not exist. And very stubborn opinion here. They're just like, "No way. No way." It's sort of like with Umbridge - they're like, "Voldemort is not back." Blah, blah, blah. So Harry recalls never telling Ron and Hermione that the Sorting Hat considered putting him in Slytherin. Do you guys think - was Harry right not bring it up at this opportunity, because I kind of see this as a missed opportunity for him. Hermione or smart Ron would've likely made the connection between Sorting Hat's consideration and Harry hearing the voices.

Mikey: Again he's scared; it's one of those things where - all the Dark Wizards came from Slytherin. And that's where - he found that out in the first book on the train ride from Ron that all - there wasn't a Dark Wizard who wasn't from Slytherin.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah.

Mikey: So why - with all this bad stuff happening and everyone already thinks it's Harry. Why would he want his friends to have another reason to distrust him. I don't they would distrust him but - he's self conscious.

Andrew: Yeah. Okay and then to wrap up the chapter, the Trios hear that rumors are starting to spread that Harry is the heir of Slytherin. Hermione believes that they need to turn into Slytherins and ask Draco about the situation because Draco's obviously suspecting Harry as is Justin Finch-Fletchley. He's referenced numerous times in this chapter. And - but Ron says to obtain the book on - to create the Polyjuice Potion they need to get written permission from a teacher to have access to it. And Ron says, "No teacher is going to fall for that. They'd have to be really thick." And of course they don't say what chapter they're going to go to but of course they are going to go to Lockhart.

[Mikey laughs]

Andrew: And some other little things in this chapter that hints what's to come. The Trio sees the spiders heading out the window for the first time and there is also an encounter - encounter with Moaning Myrtle in her bathroom which gets Ron in trouble with Percy. And Myrtle doesn't ruin any - reveal any important info at that point in time.

Ben: Andrew, have you ever been caught in a girls bathroom?

Andrew: Well, doing what - using the bathroom? Or like...

Ben: Like...

Mikey: Why were you in a girl's bathroom?

Ben: Yeah, Andrew? What's up with that dude?

Andrew: It's none of you guys business. I mean have you, Ben?

Ben: No, no.

Andrew: Have you, Mikey?

Mikey: I've never been caught.

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: That's the answer.

Andrew: Micah? Micah, I bet the same thing as Mikey. You've - you've just never been caught.

Micah: Yeah, yeah.

Click here to go to page three