MuggleCast 55 Transcript
What's Buggin' Micah: Jo, Update Your Site!
Andrew: Okay, we're back and now joined by Micah. He hopped off the editorial discussion and decided to join us.
Ben: I'm home now.
Andrew: Oh. [laughs]
Micah: Where were you before?
Ben: I was at school.
Jamie: Yeah, but Ben...
Andrew: In school.
Jamie: Ben, don't you get a free house with that library as well? [laughs]
Ben: Yeah. [laughs]
Andrew: Well, that's the thing. The editorial segment – or, wait. When you got off like, twenty minutes ago. So, what'd you do, fly home?
Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.
Ben: I drove.
Andrew: Okay, anyway. [laughs] We have a new segment this week, because we're all about new segments. Like, like pickle. Pickle. Pickle.
Jamie: We like to keep up to date, don't we?
Andrew: Yeah. So it's a new segment, and it's called, "What's Buggin' Micah?" [laughs]
Micah: [laughs] Did you – did you practice that?
Andrew: Boy, this is a rough start. Yes, actually.
Jamie: Can I do it?
Andrew: Yeah, go ahead.
Jamie: While all of you who hear Micah doing the news think that he's a sort of laid back, calm individual who doesn't ever get angry or doesn't ever shout or get annoyed, he isn't really. And if you listen to us recording, you'd hear the full force of Micah exploding.
Andrew: [sounds scared] Oooh. Gives me chills just thinking about it.
Jamie: It fills us with fear – yeah, it does. Just thinking about it, I'm going queasy and sort of, you know, jumping up and down. But, anyway, we thought that we would bring this sort of anger and use is productively, so we thought we'd try and show everyone exactly how Micah feels in this new segment.
Andrew: All right.
Jamie: So, Micah, explode.
[Andrew and Micah laugh]
Micah: All right. Well, being that this is the first segment, I'm going to make it short and sweet, but you'll be able to figure out what it's about soon enough. So, with that said... Jo, you need to update your site.
Micah: "Why?" you ask? Because it's been 120 days, which is roughly one-third of the calendar year since you last posted something.
Micah: Wizard of the Month, birthday announcements – they don't count.
Micah: Yes, I realize you did come visit us in New York City, and it was great seeing you. We know you're writing Book Seven, but we're not asking for a lot. At least update the diary on the main page. I believe you're supposed to write in a diary more than once every five months. I mean, Emerson has posted more than you lately, and that's saying something.
[Andrew, Ben, and Jamie laugh]
Ben: Oh, my gosh.
Micah: Just to put it in perspective, here are some things that were happening on May 10th; the last time you updated:
MuggleCast was only 38 episodes old.
Jamie: That's a long time away.
Micah: We were more than two months away from Las Vegas and New York City.
[Andrew pretends to cry]
Micah: Katie Couric was still the host of the Today Show.
Micah: Those students who are now freshman in college were still taking classes as seniors in high school.
Micah: Pluto was still a planet.
Micah: ...and, and DumbledoreIsNotDead.com was actually a meaningful website. So please, Jo, update your site!
Jamie: That's what's bugging Micah. Although, Jo...
Ben: Well, I could totally see Jo posting on her website, "Because Micah Tannenbaum said so."
Ben: How awesome would that be?
Jamie: Although, Ben, Ben, I'd just like to point out that Jo, if you're listening, we are in no way affiliated with Micah Tannenbaum at all.
Andrew: Or any of his news segments.
Jamie: Yeah, yeah. Or any of his feelings or angers at all. Personally, I think May is a great time to update and I think you should...
[Ben and Micah laugh]
Jamie: ...live your life and don't worry about a website. Seriously.
Jamie: Micah, you da, god.
Andrew: Micah, that was very good.
Jamie: That was good.
Andrew: And we got - we like seeing this side of you because everyone sees the serious Micah Tannenbaum in the MuggleCast news center, but there's never the real Micah. [laughs] Anyway, good work, Micah. [laughs] I... I... I concur, though. It has, it has been a while. It's a shame, that's all.
Micah: What's been a while?
Andrew: An update to her site.
Jamie: Yeah, it's been - let's phrase it properly. It would be rather pleasant to receive an update.
Jamie: But we in no way expect it.
Andrew: I do.
Jamie: Okay, I do too.
Jamie: Jo, update your website. Come on, it's been ages.
Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.
Andrew: Now time for some more fun with Dumbledore/Norris facts! Yay!
Jamie: Should we have a bad quote of the week, as well? [laughs] Like, you know, the worst one that's been sent in?
Jamie: Okay, I just need to find it. This is a nice one from Dan, 12. "Dumbledore's beard makes unicorn hair look dull." [laughs]
Jamie: "When Dumbledore's eyes twinkle brightly behind his spectacles, you had better be glad that he's wearing his glasses, otherwise the brightness of that twinkle would burn a hole right through you." [laughs]
Jamie: I love these. I love... No, actually, even though Ben's boring and says that they are - they are bad, the response that I've got about these has been fantastic so please keep sending them in.
Micah: You know, when I first saw that in the Writley - and I'm being serious - I thought that you were going to start talking about some relationship between Dumbledore and...
Ben: Mrs. Norris. [laughs]
Micah: ...Mrs. Norris.
Jamie: "Azkaban has recently replaced the Dementors with cardboard cut-outs of Dumbledore."
Jamie: "A more effective way of guarding the prison." [laughs] This is a good one, "In the seventh year of Hogwarts, Dumbledore was voted best dressed and most likely to be forgiven for performing an Unforgivable Curse."
Jamie: Nice. Non-magic one of the week - "Dumbledore doesn't need an iPod or any other device for playing music, he just thinks of the song he feels like listening to and it immediately starts playing in his head." [laughs]
Andrew: [laughs] Speaking of beautiful and intelligent...
Andrew: ...and popular...
Jamie: Can I get to say this at some point?
Andrew: Yeah, Laura just entered. I wanted to introduce her properly.
Jamie: Hey, Laura.
Jamie: Laura, did you know that Dumbledore is not really dead, but living with Tupac [pronounced "Two-pack"] and Elvis?
[Andrew and Ben laugh]
Andrew: Tupac. What's his name?
Jamie: Yeah. "Two-pack." That's it.
Micah: Well, I've never heard it as "Two-pack?"
Jamie: "When Dumbledore holds a Remembrall, it simply shatters because Dumbledore never forgets."
Jamie: That's from Jennifer Rader, 18, from Texas. Thank you. Please keep sending them in. They're fantastic. Send them to jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com and, yeah. And we especially like original Dumbledore quotes that have some kind of magic thing related to them so to all the people who have gone to ChuckNorrisFacts.com, [laughs] copy them down and change the name to Dumbledore...which I admit I did do first of all. Try and get some original ones. They're all fantastic. Thank you.
Gimme A Butterbeer: Harry Potter - The Satanic Art?
Andrew: Now, it is time for the return of Gimme A Butterbeer...
Jamie: Dun dun dun.
Andrew: ...with Ben Schoen.
Ben: It's what everyone's been waiting for, I'm pretty sure.
Jamie: Do you know what...
Andrew: Yeah, we've been waiting like, how...when...what was the last one? When was the last one?
Jamie: Four years. We should do a Gimme A Butterbeer.
Jamie: Andrew, Andrew.
Andrew: Yeah, we should do our own.
Jamie: Andrew. No, no.
Ben: It was the last time Jo updated her site.
Andrew: Ohhh. [laughs]
Jamie: We should do a...
Jamie: We should do a Give Me a Butterbeer about Ben not doing Give Me a Butterbeer.
Ben: Yeah, that's a good one.
Andrew: Okay, I'll be right back but Ben, you can do that.
Ben: This week, I'd like to take a look at Harry Potter: The satanic art. "Behind Harry Potter lies the signature of the king of darkness, the devil," Pope Benedict XIV senior exorcist told Vatican Radio. According to the Daily Mail newspaper in London, he added that "the book attempts to make false distinction between black and white magic when, in fact, the distinction does not exist because magic is always a turn to the devil." I know we've discussed this before, but for the last time, Harry Potter is not turning our youth into little witches and wizards. It's a fictional story about a boy who happens to be a wizard and is attempting to save the world. It's the equivalent of saying Superman must be demon-possessed because real people can't fly.
What I'm getting sick and tired of is continually hearing the critics say the same thing over and over. To me it seems they can't stand how insanely popular the book is, so they're going to be so - so they're going to be cynical and find a way to criticize. Unfortunately, they keep re-hashing the same message: Harry Potter is the devil. I think this is a very important conversation to have. When prominent religious figures continually condemn the books, it makes the average Christian Harry Potter fan feel guilty for reading the series because of its alleged connections with the occult. Please, if you're going to criticize the books, at least make a legitimate attempt to understand what they are about.
Jamie: Or read them first.
Ben: I sincerely doubt the Pope's exorcist has actually read the series, so it's unfair for him to pass judgment. Perhaps if he actually cracked one of the books, he'd see it's underlined moral teachings and realize that it's not just a bunch of teenage witches and wizards dancing in a circle chanting voodoo. Hopefully, this is the last time I have to bring this topic up. I'm Ben Schoen and I say, Gimme A Butterbeer.
Laura: Well, I doubt it's going to be...
Jamie: Pretty good, Benjamin, well done.
Laura: It will probably not be the last time you have to bring that topic up, but you do bring up several good points.
Jamie: The Pope's going to turn around and say, "Well, if Ben Schoen doesn't want us to say anything..."
[Ben and Laura laugh]
Jamie: "...we won't say it. It's fine."
Ben: So, what do you guys think?
Jamie: I think you're right, but do you know what? I don't really care though. It's like if the Pope's senior exorcist wants to say it's about devils and stuff, then that's fine. He can think we're going to hell for reading it.
[Laura and Ben laugh]
Jamie: I'm going to read it still and I'm sure that every other fan is still going to read it. But, I do agree that it can make people feel guilty for reading something they shouldn't feel guilty about. Do you agree with that sentiment Laura? Or...
Laura: I do, I do agree with that sentiment.
Jamie: Oh, excellent.
Laura: It really irks me how people seem to think that they can go about judging the books without even reading them.
Laura: It's like that Laura Mallory, who doesn't live to far from me, who claims - she seems to think that she doesn't need to actually read the books before condemning them because she has four children and she doesn't have enough time. Yet, she has so much time sitting around appealing to the state, which she is now. I think she's getting another hearing here soon, so I'm probably going to go up there and argue.
Jamie: Good. Do it, do it.
Laura: I think it's absolutely ridiculous and I think, Ben, you hit the nail on the head.
Micah: Try and refrain yourself from hitting her.
Ben: But seriously, what right does she have to go and protest something? Separation of church and state definitely covers this.
Ben: You can't say, "Because God said so, these books have to be banned from libraries."
Jamie: No, you can't say it, can you?
Ben: The interpretation of what God is...
Jamie: There's just no ground there.
Ben: Based upon the person and the constitution protects your right to...
Ben: Freedom of religion, so it's ridiculous for this woman to even say that.
Laura: Well, I think it's important to remember, and I'm not meaning this to be insulting - in the least way at all, but freedom of religion is also freedom from it, and...
Jamie: It is.
Laura: ...I think trying to base a public school system's right to have what they want in the library on one person's religious beliefs is absolutely ridiculous.
Micah: And I think, all you have to do is look at what took place at the beginning of August in New York City, in terms of it's impact on literature with 6,000 people coming out each night to see, not just Jo, but two other authors and I think that that's a statement to be made. The whole idea of it being a satanic cult - I really don't like the comparisons that were made, in particular the two that Emerson mentioned in his post to these - 5to what was it? To Hitler and Stalin?
Jamie: Yeah. It's just ridiculous.
Laura: Well, I...
Jamie: It's just ridiculous.
Laura: We're all perfect examples of what good Harry Potter can do. Think about how different our lives would be if it weren't Harry.
Jamie: Oh yeah.
Laura: We wouldn't be going on all these great trips, we wouldn't be doing this show, we wouldn't even know each other.
Jamie: I know. How ridiculous do you think it is? jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Tell me how ridiculous...
[Ben, Laura, and Micah laugh]
Jamie: Exactly how ridiculous do you think it is.
Ben: The bottom line is that it's a book. It's not preaching to you, it's not trying to convert...
Ben: ...you to a belief system. It's just a story. That's all it is. There are many stories out there that involve witchcraft, but...
Ben: ...it doesn't mean they are all trying to convert to Wiccans.
Ben: Wicca, whatever you want to call it.
Laura: And kids are reading now. They're not letting their brains rot in front of the television as much anymore. That is one thing to be so thankful for. Anything that gets kids reading.
Ben: I don't think anything that's encouraging child literacy is going to be spawning from the devil.
[Andrew, Ben, and Laura laugh]
Laura: You go to hell if you read books, but if you play video games, you're all right.
Laura: It just makes no sense.
Ben: Well, once again, if you have an idea for this segment, please email ben at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Or go to the MuggleCast.com website and select Ben from the contact page. Thanks! Also, give me feedback on this. Tell me what you think.
Andrew's HUH?! E-mail of the Week
Andrew: It's time for Andrew's... [makes "me, me, me, me, me, me, me" throat clearing sound] It's time for Andrew's Huh?!, Huh?!, Huh?!...
Andrew: ...E-mail of the Week.
Jamie: That was easy.
Andrew: It usually takes a couple of tries to get my voice in a groove.
Jamie: Yeah, you've got to tune it up.
Andrew: Actually, this isn't an e-mail. This is HUH?! MuggleNet comment board of the week entry, thing.
Andrew: So, we posted about MuggleCast 54, which I incorrectly called 55 last week.
Laura: Good job!
Andrew: My bad!
Andrew: And, you know, we like reading the comments. We like seeing the feedback, and there's this one comment that kind of, you know, we get these every once in a while, and it really grinds my gear...
Andrew: Gears. It reads, "I'd just like to mention that I used to watch this."
Andrew: Okay, first of all, you don't watch it, you listen to it.
Eric: First mistake! [laughs]
Andrew: Second sentence: "It was good," no comma, "though the descussions..."
Andrew: Spelled D - E - S... Yeah, it's like, "descussions."
[continues reading] "...did start to go downhill."
All right. Your opinion.
Andrew: "What actually made me quit watching it," - once again, you're not watching, you're listening - "was the large amount of spyware that latched itself onto my computer when I was downloading the episodes."
Ben: Yep. You heard it here. We... [laughs]
Andrew: "The computer guy said it was very hard to get rid of - get rid of, and some of them still remain because they will not detach. We may have to get a new computer. Thanks, MuggleCast."
First of all, you're welcome.
Andrew: Second of all, we don't attach any spyware...
Ben: Spyware? We don't even know how to do that. How would you do that?
Jamie: Andrew, Andrew don't lie.
Ben: How can you attach spyware to an mp3 file?
Jamie: No, no...
Ben: How can you do that?
Jamie: No, Ben, don't lie. I think we should come clear.
Ben: [impersonating Kevin] We have Kevin do it each week?
Jamie: We have a special deal worked out with...
Jamie: No, no. We have a special deal worked out with Dell, whereas we screw up everyone's computer, then they buy a new one from Dell...
Jamie: Then we get a 20% annual profit.
Andrew: Yeah! [laughs]
Andrew: Enter code MuggleCast...
Jamie: Pretty, pretty awesome, really.
Micah: Who sent this to you? What's their name?
Andrew: It was on the comment board.
Andrew: But I just want to point out that, of course, we don't attach anything to the audio files. That's just silly, and we would never try to. We don't even know how. And they're just audio files. It's like downloading music. That's all.
Jamie's British Joke of the Day
Andrew: British Joke of the Day!
Jamie: I've got one.
Andrew: That's a joke in itself.
Jamie: Didn't know that... Eh! All right. There's this guy, and he goes skydiving for the first time ever, okay? After he jumps out of the plane, he counts to ten, as you do, pulls the cord, and absolutely nothing happens. So, he's getting a little bit worried by now, and he pulls the cord for the auxiliary parachute, but, unfortunately, again, the parachute doesn't appear at all [laughs]. So, he's falling down, you know, reaching terminal velocity, and he's plummeting toward the earth, and he sees this woman coming up completely the other way, and he shouts to her, "Hey! Do you know anything about parachutes?" And she quickly replies, "No. Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
Ben: Oh, that bombed.
Jamie: Oh, god, that was funny.
Ben's Not So British Joke of the Day
Jamie: Okay, Ben, you tell yours.
Ben: My joke?
Jamie: Would you like me to tell it?
Ben: I'll tell it. So, guys. Why did the ghost of the chicken cross the road?
Ben: To get to the other [in scary voice] siiiiiiiiiide!
Jamie: That is pretty good, that one, Ben.
Ben: I love that joke!
Jamie: That is pretty good. I'm very impressed.
Ben: I love that joke.
Jamie: I'm laughing so much.
Ben: [laughs] You did a little bit ago when I told it to you.
[Andrew, Jamie, and Laura laugh]
Jamie: Yeah, yeah, I did the first time he said it, but we still only laughed minorly at first.
Chicken Soup: Back-To-School Edition
Andrew: Now, to wrap up the show this week, Chicken Soup: [excitedly] Back-To-School Edition! [sings] Da da da da da da... What's the Saved by the Bell music?
Ben: [sings] I'm saved by the bell! Itttttttt's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell! [laughs]
Andrew: Phillip Defibaugh [stumbles several times through last name]
Andrew: Defibwaah? Waaah! 15, from Orange County, California, writes about his back-to-school MuggleCast experience:
"I just wanted to say I love listening to the show and that you actually helped me in school. Let me explain. I am really out of shape."
"And at my school in my PE class we have to run a mile every week. I never scored very well. One day, my PE teacher said we could listen to our iPods while we ran the mile."
"I had just started to run when I noticed I had clicked on MuggleCast. For once, I was actually laughing while I ran the mile."
Ben: I'm sure that helps him run faster.
Andrew: Yeah, I was just going to say! That's a little flawed! But anyway...
"A little while later, my PE teacher had stopped me. I had run two extra laps without noticing it! My teacher decided to give me extra credit, bringing my C to a B in the class. Thank you MuggleCast!"
Jamie: [laughs] Funny.
Andrew: How do you get a C in gym?
Ben: Because you can't run a mile.
Laura: Hey, I know people who have done it. [laughs] We have our...
Andrew: "PS: Jamie..."
Andrew: Oh, go ahead Laura. Sorry.
Laura: Oh, no, I was just going to say that our final in gym was we had to run for 30 minutes, and if we didn't do it...
Laura: [laughs] We got a C in the class, yeah.
Ben: Hey, do you realize that in thirty minutes, you can run for like four miles?
Ben: Yeah. That's ridiculous!
Andrew: That's a lot.
Ben: That's... [laughs]
Andrew: And at the bottom, it says:
"PS: Jamie, you're my favorite MuggleCaster."
Ben: Well, this person is definitely off their rocker, then!
[Micah, Jamie, and Laura laugh]
Jamie: Do you know what we should do? The most sort of - I can't remember the word. What's the word that sort of psyches you up and makes you do something?
Andrew: Pump iron?
Ben: Pump you?
Jamie: Sort of inspiring song is always, Eye of the Tiger, by Survivor.
Andrew: [sings beginning of Eye of the Tiger] Buh! Buh buh buh! Buh buh buh!
Jamie: We should play that every single week, just to kind of, like, inspire people who could be doing things right now when they are listening to the show.
Jamie: It will help gym students everywhere.
More Chicken Soup: Back-To-School Edition
Andrew: Well, here's another. I like these kind of re - not rebuttals, Chicken Soups. This one comes from Briana, 16, of Virginia Beach, Virginia. And she says:
"Hey, MuggleCasters! Tomorrow, I start my senior year of high school. I've been dreading it all summer, but MuggleCast helped me realize there was nothing to worry about tonight in the form of a supermarket phenomenon. There I was, in the refrigerated section of the supermarket in my MuggleCast shirt..."
Of course! Everyone wears their MuggleCast t-shirts out everywhere. [laughs]
Andrew: "...holding a jar of pickles for my lunch."
Okay. I'm not sure why she has pickles for lunch, but...
"I laughed silently, reminded of the most recent episode (which was hilarious, by the way). Then, it happened."
Ben, cue it up, please!
Ben: [sings beginning of Eye of the Tiger] Buh! Buh buh buh! Buh buh buh!
Jamie: Come on, Ben!
Ben: [singing City of Blinding Lights] Ooooooooo...
Andrew: [singing City of Blinding Lights] Ooooooooo...
Andrew: Can't do it now. But...
[Ben sings throughout]
Andrew: "'City of Blinding Lights' came on the speakers of the supermarket. I swear, that moment was the culmination of my favorite MuggleCast allusions. I had a pickle jar in my hand..."
[Jamie and Laura laugh]
Andrew: " ...U2 in my ears, and the podcasters on my... well, chest. [laughs] I started to laugh even louder. Now that I think of it, I must have looked so ridiculous as I attempted to sing the "Ooohs" while laughing hysterically."
"With the help of MuggleCast, U2, and pickles, I was able to have one last moment of blissful stupidity before I head off to school tomorrow morning. So, thank you, guys, for being for being funny and utterly random every week. It made my summer."
Pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles...
Jamie: And U2. And U2.
Andrew: ...pickles, pickles...
Ben: Stop with the pickles!
Andrew: ...pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles...
Ben: Hey, I have a little challenge.
Micah: Oh, the transcribers are going to love that.
[Transcriber's note: Word!]
Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]
Ben: I absolutely love that. Lately...
Ben's Random Challenge
Ben: I want to hold a challenge for the listeners.
Ben: Lately, I've ...
Jamie: Ben, I do the random challenges!
Ben: No, no; we both do. No, hold on, hold on. Lately...
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Ben: Lately, I've been on this little Elton John kick.
Jamie: I'm fed up with him copying me!
Ben: And Dumbledore is now dead; JK Rowling confirmed it. And so, I would like for you to write a parody to Elton John's Candle in the Wind, for Albus Dumbledore.
Laura: Oh, geez. [laughs]
Andrew: I think that's dumb.
Ben: No, please do it.
Ben: Winner gets a t-shirt. [laughs]
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Andrew: Okay, I just want to close the show off by reminding everyone that we now have a low bandwidth version of the show - we've had that for a few weeks - but we also have a feed now, so you can subscribe to it within iTunes. Just go to MuggleCast.com and there's an iTunes link. This version of the show is much easier for those on dialup to download the show. It sounds like this... [says in a mock static voice]
Andrew: Crumby quality, but not really crumby, but not - it's still...
Andrew: What am I saying [laughs] It's... Yeah. The quality's decreased, but you can still hear just fine. So, go to MuggleCast.com.
PO Box Update
Andrew: So, that wraps up MuggleCast Episode 55. If you would like to contact us, you can send PO box parcel mail to...
PO Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas 67017.
Oh, by the way...
Jamie: Don't forget to send your stuff 15 years in advance.
Ben: A minor PO box update. A minor PO Box update. This past week I received four boxes of Lucky Charms for Jamie...
Ben: Four boxes of Lucky Charms.
Jamie: Thank you, thank you.
Ben: Two of them come from Sam and Ashley. I have no idea where they're from, but here's what they say:
"Jamie you are awesome, and my favorite MuggleCaster."
Enough of that [censored]
Jamie: Hey, Andrew, put that in, but just bleep it out. That was funny.
Ben: The other set of goodies come from Madeline - it says on the front - Madeline Welsh...
Jamie: Oh, that's a nice name.
Ben: Madeline Welsh from Orlando, Florida. Hey, Madeline, we might be there around New Year's, so we'll swing by.
Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: You can also, call in a voice mail question or comment to 1-218-20-MAGIC. In the United Kingdom, 020-8144-0677, and in Australia 02-8003-5668. You can also Skype the user name MuggleCast to leave a voice mail, question, comment, whatever you want. Just Skype the user name MuggleCast. Did I already say that? Leave your message user... Keep your message under thirty seconds and no background noise. We've also got a Feedback Forum on MuggleCast.com. Don't forget the Frappr map. Add your pictures; I know - I'm confident you're all a good-looking bunch. Vote for us on Podcast Alley and all that good stuff. Once again I'm Andrew Sims.
Ben: I'm Elton John.
Jamie: I'm Cascada.
Micah: I'm Billy Joel.
Laura: And I'm Laura Thompson.
Andrew: We'll see everyone next week for Episode 56.
[A school bell rings]
Ben: Uh oh! There goes the bell. There goes the bell, we're going to the hall.
Andrew: What's this mean? What?
Andrew: Where are we going?
Ben: The bell just rang.
Andrew: No, I want to sit here!
Ben: We're going to the hallway.
Ben: No, we're going to the hall.
Andrew: Oh, okay.
Ben: We're going to the hall. I may have to leave after this, guys. I don't know. Moundridge High School.
Andrew: Oh, come on.
Jamie: Hey Andrew?
Ben: Yeah, I'm recording a podcast right now.
[Students chatter in the background]
Eric: Moundridge, Kansas.
Jamie: Andrew, keep that stuff in the show about us arguing about the thing that wasn't funny. The arguing was funnier than the actual thing.
Andrew: I was going to anyway.
Jamie: Oh, okay.
Andrew: So, we're going through Moundridge High School hall.
Ben: Hey, Ryan Flood. Ryan Flood. You're on MuggleCast. Say, "Hi."
Student: Harry Potter's awesome!
Ben: You're on MuggleCast, Say, "Hi."
Student: Hey [censored]!
Andrew: All right.
Student: Snape [censored] Draco.
Andrew: Whoa! [laughs] Okay!
Student: Snape [censored] Dumbledore.
Student: Yo! MuggleCast live!
Ben: [laughs] Yeah. Say, "Hi," Chad.
Student: You're not [censored].
Ben: Yeah I am! Right now. Swear to god.
Student: [jokingly] Where's Emerson?! Emerson! I want to [censored] Emerson! Oh, Emerson!
Student: Emerson I love you, Emerson!
Jamie: I think he just punched him in the face.
Student: What's that other guy's name?
Andrew: Oh okay. [laughs]
Eric: Oh my god! Some of this stuff is not getting in.
Student: Are they talking to you?
Ben: Yeah, right now.
Student: What are they saying?
Student: See, Emerson, I love you!
Eric: Moundridge High School: Uncensored.
Student: Ben Schoen, let me see that laptop.
Ben: No! Get away!
Student: I just want to look at it.
Ben: Look with your eyes.
Student: I'm not even going to touch it.
Ben: This is ridiculous.
Student: Hey, come here Ben.
Jamie: Get some girls on, Ben. They wouldn't swear.
Student: Let me hear what they're saying right now.
Jamie: Get some girls on. They won't swear.
Student: Oh, this guy's British.
Ben: Yeah, he's British.
Eric: Ben doesn't get any girls.
Student: Ben gets a lot of girls, man.
Andrew: Gets what?
Student: He gets a lot of girls, man. It's insane.
Andrew: I don't believe that.
Jamie: I don't know.
Student: Oh, no, no. The guy is loaded with chicks.
Eric: Girls named Henry, right?
Student: Henry, yeah.
[Ben and Student laugh]
Eric: [laughs] And Patrick, Patrick.
Andrew: Hmmm, well.
Ben: This is not good. I'm losing signal.
Andrew: This is quite a segment, yeah. [laughs]
Jamie: This is best segment I've ever heard. Damn exciting.
Ben: Hey, Waynes. Wayne you're on MuggleCast. Wayne, you're on MuggleCast. Say, "Hi."
Ben: Say, "Harry Potter rules."
Wayne: Harry Potter is [censored].
Andrew: Everyone automatically knows what MuggleCast is at the school. [laughs]
Eric: It's just the sad truth, Andrew.
Jamie: That's because Andrew boasts about it every single... Sorry, that's because Ben boasts about it every single day. He's like, "So, Ben, are you coming out tonight?" "No, I'm recording MuggleCast and doing my work on the biggest Harry Potter site in the world."
Eric: Yeah, the average person is under the impression that he spends five hours every day recording MuggleCast.
Jamie: Yeah. We do, don't we? You know? That's no lie.
Eric: Oh, absolutely.
Jamie: Five hours a day.
Eric: Yes. The unseen footage is...
Ben: Hey, can you guys hear me? Not you.
Ben: I think I'm going to have to go now.
Eric: Get a girl on, man.
Ben: Hey Natalie. Natalie, come here.
Eric: What do Kansan girls sound like?
Ben: Come on, just say, "Hi."
Andrew: It's so stressful, isn't it, Natalie? Yeah.
Eric: [laughs] Yeah. Shy.
Ben: Say, "Hi."
Jamie: Yeah. It's pretty tough, I must admit.
Ben: Say "Hi, Jamie."
Natalie: Hi Jamie.
Eric: Say hi to me!
Ben: That's Eric.
Natalie: I did!
Natalie: Oh, hi Eric.
Jamie: Say hi to me, is that?
Ben: Hi to you? [laughs]
Eric: Hi! Hi Natalie. How are you?
Natalie: I'm good. How are you?
Eric: I'm going great. So, listen, how is Ben in school? Do you know Ben?
Natalie: I do know Ben.
Andrew: Did you ever go to a dance with Ben? Did you ever see him at a dance?
Jamie: Is he...
Natalie: Well, I've seen him at dances, but I don't go with him.
Jamie: Is he a...
Andrew: Is he a wallflower? Tell me, are the rumors true?
Natalie: Are the rumors true of what?
Andrew: Is he a wallflower?
Eric: Is Ben a wallflower?
Natalie: A wallflower?
Jamie: Does he just stand by the wall and just do that all evening and look depressed?
Natalie: No, no, he dances.
Jamie: Or does he get up on to the...
Andrew: He dances? Oh, gee.
Jamie: Oh. Is he as much of a player as we've heard? They told us...
Eric: Does Ben's milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?
[Ben and Natalie laugh]
Natalie: Yeah. All the boys. Definitely. Mhm.
Jamie: But, no girls?
Eric: Any girls?
Natalie: Of course. [laughs]
Ben: Okay, guys. Are you still there?
[Natalie laughs in background]
Eric: Well, we appreciate talking to you.
Jamie: No, we've gone in the one second.
Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]
Ben: [laughs] Shut up.
Eric: Thank you, Natalie.
Ben: See yeah, that's, that's Moundridge High School for you.
Andrew: The one girl.
Jamie: [laughs] Andrew, put that in. Put that in. That was actually really quite funny, I must admit.
Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Ally, Amanda, Eloise, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Matthew, Megan, Roni, Shannon and Shelly
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