MuggleCast | The #1 Most-Listened to Harry Potter Podcast

MuggleCast 57 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew: Four weeks late but as promised, MuggleCast 57 is ready for your listening pleasure: Recorded September 18th, 2006. Once you hear the show, you'll understand why we wanted to keep it as number 57. Granted, the show is a bit of a mess, [show intro music in background] especially at the end. We had some major audio issues that we tried to work out as best as possible, but we hope you'll still enjoy the show even if it is a little outdated.

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Ben: Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

Andrew: What?

Ben: Breaking news.

Andrew: Huh?

Ben: An E-coli spinach scare increases to 21 states.

Andrew: What?

Jamie: That's quite a lot.

Kevin: Wow.

Ben: So, Popeye, beware.

[Jamie starts humming Popeye theme song]

Kevin: Watch those salads.

Ben: A Douglas county Nebraska resident was sickened by this strain of bacteria.

[Jamie stops humming Popeye theme song]

Ben: There have been 111 people sick and one person has died.

Andrew: This is kind of a depressing way to start the show.

Jamie: All from spinach?

Ben: I know.

Kevin: It is a pretty depressing way to start the show.

Ben: All from spinach.

Jamie: Bluto is just going to just kick Popeye's butt now.

Ben: I know.

Jamie: Because he's not going to have any spinach.

Ben: [laughs] It's all infected with E-coli.

Jamie: [laughs] It is.

Ben: So, you heard it here first, MuggleCast: We save lives. Don't eat spinach.

Jamie: Unless you're Popeye.

Ben: Stay away! Unless you're Popeye. [laughs]

Andrew: What about pickles? Do pickles have E-coli in them?

Jamie: No.

Andrew: They're green, too, and they taste bad.

Ben: I think pickles are safe, Andrew.

Andrew: Oh, good.

Ben: Pickles are safe.

Andrew: Good.

Jamie: That would suck, though, if we sort of said that word and people all bought pickles to send and we found out that...

Andrew: Yeah. Spinach, spinach, spinach! It's our new tagline!

Jamie: ...touching pickles cause....

Kevin: Cancer.

Jamie: Yeah. A specific skin disease or something.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: I couldn't sleep at night with that on my conscience, I must admit.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: That's pretty funny.

Kevin: I don't think you'd have a problem, Jamie.

Jamie: No, I think I would. Seriously. I really do think I would.

Andrew: Welcome, everyone, to the show. As you can see we're off to a great start already. This is going to be all about spinach.

Ben: Mhm. [laughs]

Andrew: We decided Harry Potter...

Ben: We're done.

Andrew: ...take a week off. This is 57. You know, 56 shows under our belt. It's time, it's time, it's time, Micah, for you to update us...

Ben: We're almost senior citizens.

Andrew: [laughs] ...with the past week's top Harry Potter news stories.


Micah: Um, Andrew? This is a missing episode. There isn't any news. So, that's all the news, wink wink, for this September 18th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Welcome Back, Kevin!

Andrew: Okay. Thank you, Micah. Guys, you know, it struck me the other day.

Kevin: What struck you?

Andrew: We rely too much on... Oh by the way, by the way, how could we go any further? Kevin Steck, welcome back to the show!

Kevin: Yeah, its been awhile.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] Thanks, Andrew. I have really missed my presence on the show.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: How long has it been, Kevin?

Kevin: What, six weeks now?

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] At least four weeks. Something like that.

Andrew: Four weeks? That's it?

Jamie: It's been a long time.

Kevin: I think it's longer than that.

Andrew: Yeah, I think it was longer than that.

Jamie: Have you lost your touch yet, Kevin?

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] It's been a 100 years or nothing. No.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Kevin, where have you been?

Kevin: School. School started.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] At a wedding. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: At weddings. It was a wedding one week, wasn't it?

Ben: [laughs] Kevin and the ladies.

Kevin: I know. I only had three of them this summer.

[Jamie laughs]

Jamie: Kevin couldn't go to his own wedding because he had a wedding to go to.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Isn't that right, Kevin? [laughs]

Kevin: Right.

Ben: We missed you, buddy.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: We have. Welcome back, Kevin.

Andrew: We missed your voice, we missed your technical insight...

Jamie: Jokes.

Andrew: Missed everything about you, so welcome back.

MuggleCast on MySpace and Facebook

Andrew: Anyway, it struck me the other day: We rely too much on MuggleNet to promote the show.

Ben: Oh, really?

Andrew: I think so, because look at communities like MySpace. MySpace has 50 million people.

Jamie: Actually, I think it can have more than that now.

Andrew: MuggleCast - or MuggleNet - only gets 25 million. We are missing half of the MySpace audience.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: That's huge. Just imagine how many Harry Potter visitors are on MySpace.

Ben: I know.

Andrew: So, this is the reason why we have created a MuggleCast MySpace: to help promote the show, get the word out, and get you guys interacting with each other. So, visit or just go to for a link, and join up, help promote the show, and it's going to be pretty neat-o. We already got a lot of friend requests. It's pretty cool seeing pictures of everybody, because remember you're an attractive bunch!

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: And we also got a Facebook group. You can join in. This is all to help promote the show and you know...

Jamie: Yeah, that's really good, Andrew. That's a good one, that one. Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Ummm.

Kevin: Allow stalkers to enter our world.

Andrew: I'm doing this hand motion right now, but I can't put my - forget it.

Jamie: This is good stuff. This is good stuff

Andrew: Forget it, I'm done. I am done. Anyway...

Kevin: Go post a video of the hand motions.

Announcement: The 60-inch Subway Challenge

Andrew: Ben and Jamie, you guys got an announcement.

Jamie: We do.

Ben: A major announcement.

Jamie: Okay, it kind of... I think it started one day when I was hungry in the morning and I went to Subway and I got a 12-inch Subway melt and a 12-inch tuna for later on, so I could eat it later. So, I came home, I had the melt, then about four hours later or something like that, I had the tuna thing. And I got online and said to Ben, "Ben, I've just had 24 inches in one day, don't you think that's impressive?" Ben then made a comment back to me, "It's okay, but I've had 36." Now, we always want to go one better than, you know, what we've done. So...

Ben: Yeah, of course. Everything's a competition with us. So... [laughs]

Jamie: Exactly, yes. We thought, let's go to 48, but of course, why go to 48, if you can go to 60? So, that's our challenge for California. We're going to do the 60-inch Subway Challenge.

Ben: Each of us.

Jamie: Hopefully, this is going to increase... Yeah, yeah, each of us. Hopefully, this is going to increase by 12 inches every time we go on...

Ben: One of these trips.

Jamie: of these trips. So, if we're still doing live Podcasts in 2020, we will be doing the 1,024-inch Challenge...

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: ...which could get a little bit difficult by then, but we could be more experienced. So, and Ben, are we going to record it and do everything so we can get it online?

Ben: Well, if Andrew brings his video camera, we will.

Jamie: Okay, Andrew bring your video camera.

Andrew: Okay. Let's record it and we'll put a video up. I don't... You're going to eat, what, four, five different times of the day?

Jamie: It's a... Yeah, yeah.

Ben: Five times in one day.

Jamie: We're going to do it in one...

Kevin: Oh, it's not in one sitting?

Andrew: Okay.

Ben: No.

Kevin: Awww.

Ben: That would be kind of hard.

Jamie: Yes, Kevin, yes. We'll eat 60 inches in one...

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: I think it would be impressive.

Andrew: I don't even think Jamie is 60 inches tall.

Kevin: I think it would be impressive.

Andrew: I don't think he'd be able to...

Ben: I don't know, I don't think Jamie could handle it. That's the problem.

Jamie: [laughs] Okay, Ben, and you could? You're going to have 60 inches of Subway?

Ben: Well, see, another thing - this reminds me. This is definitely going to be a daunting task. The other day I failed at a similar challenge in my...

Jamie: What was it?

Ben: ...pre-calc class. I bet the teacher...

Kevin: A prize-getter.

Ben: ...I could drink four cans of soda in...

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: minute and...

Jamie: Clearly, you can't do that.

Kevin: Oh, geez. Yeah.

Ben: No, hold on, hold on. I got three down in forty seconds.

Jamie: That's not bad at all.

Ben: And I took a look at that Dr. Pepper and I about passed out and...

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: ...then I went to the sink and I threw up. So...

Jamie: [laughs] Awesome.

Ben: You know what? In California we'll go for four in a minute. We'll get a video of that, too. We'll put it up on YouTube.

Andrew: That sounds fun.

Ben: Four cans of soda.

Jamie: What, four 60-inch Subways in a minute?

Ben: Yeah. [laughs] No, four cans of soda.

Jamie: Now that would be impressive.

Kevin: I would rather see a gallon of milk in five minutes.

Ben: An hour - it's impossible.

Micah: Wait, Jamie?

Jamie: Yeah?

Micah: They have Subways in England?

Jamie: They do. But, unfortunately, I can't set up a webcam linked to Ben's Subway, so I could do mine and he can do his so, in a way, it's in California.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: No, I'm just surprised fast food chains existed there.

Andrew: How about we make a poll on and let people decide who will win the competition.

Jamie: No, because clearly Ben is going to win it.

Andrew: Well, then why are you in it?

Jamie: No, no. It isn't a competition, it's a competition generally just to do 60 inches in one day.

Andrew: Oh, I thought it was you guys versus each other. Oh, all right.

Jamie: No, no, no, no. Basically, we're going to space it out and have one at, sort of, 8 AM, one at 11 AM, one at 3 PM, one at... And just go on like that and kind of space it out. So, it should be fun and we'll put it online, as well.

Leaky Mug Live in California

Andrew: Moving along, Leaky Mug Live in California - it is only four days away from today. And we're pretending like today...

Jamie: No it's not.

Andrew: Sunday...

Jamie: Oh, yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: ...the 24th. It's only four days away. Hey, guys, we're in England now. I mean, California.

Jamie: Oh, we are. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew: It's been pretty cool, hasn't it? It's been fun. Yeah.

Ben: [sings] California.

Kevin: We're all having a blast.

Andrew: Sunny weather...

Jamie: I've had a blast so far, yeah.

Kevin: Yep.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. Leaky Mug Live in California, September 28th at 7 PM at the Borders in Westwood. It's going to be a ton of fun.

Jamie: [raps the “ Fresh Prince of Bellaire” theme song] West Philadelphia, born and raised, in the playground where I would spend most of my days. Sorry.

Andrew: Yeah. It's going to be a ton of fun and we're looking forward to meeting everyone. If you're in California, if you're anywhere on the West Coast, just come out. It's a quick drive.

Jamie: If you're anywhere in the world, come out.

Ben: Okay, California is the west coast, Andrew.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah!

Andrew: Well, the mid-west or the west.

Ben: Yeah, so...

Andrew: Come out to California.

Jamie: If you're anywhere, if you're anywhere, come and see us, please.

Andrew: Yeah. If you're in China.

Jamie: If you're China, if you're in Australia...

Andrew: Come out, it's going to be a lot of fun. We're probably not doing another live Podcast for a while, so this is your last, well...

Ben: This is the Leaky Mug Farewell Tour.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Don't tell people that. Like those bands do; they always come back.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah. We'll re-group after awhile

Listener Rebuttal: Correction on Invisibility Cloak

Andrew: Moving along, Listener Rebuttals this week. First, we start off with a correction. We got tons of feedback on this. I know, we're sorry.

Ben: We screwed up.

Andrew: James inherited the Invisibility Cloak...

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: ...from his father, not his mother, like we wanted - speculated. This came from an AOL interview that JK Rowling did back in October, 2000.

Jamie: I think what Andrew's trying to say, in not so many words, is that we got it completely, completely wrong.

Andrew: Yeah, we just didn't know. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. We can't, you know?

Andrew: So, there you go.

Listener Rebuttal: Homeschooling

Andrew: Moving on to emails now, Holly, 17, of North Bay. Where's North Bay?

Jamie: A bay that's in the north.

Ben: Probably New Jersey. [Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, yeah it is, yeah.

Andrew: Kevin, I got the IP address. Trace this for me while I...

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] Kevin!

Jamie: Just get Kevin to do it and in two seconds we'll have a full match on...

Kevin: Oh do you want me to?

Andrew: Yes. It's 69...

Kevin: Hold on one sec, let me...

Ben: Don't say it out loud. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, don't.

Andrew: I'm going to edit it out. I'm going to edit it out! 69.159...

Jamie: Hey, Ben, if you give Kevin the IP address in two minutes...

Kevin: Dot what? What was the last...

Andrew: Dot 2.

Jamie: have a full plan of their house, when they were born, what they eat for breakfast.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: He's that good.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: This rebuttal concerns the homeschooling discussion we had last week: Wait a second: I'm listening to MuggleCast #56, and Jamie's trying to argue that you can't teach yourself Calculus. Well, I'm in first year university, and my Calculus teacher doesn't speak English (his Russian accent is really, really, really, really, thick to the point we can't understand a word).

Jamie: That's pretty thick.

Andrew: So we (i.e. everyone in my class) can't learn Calculus from anyone else. So I (and everyone else) have to teach myself Calculus from the textbook and I'm learning it by myself.

Kevin: Oh, that sucks.

Andrew: This is the same as my Discrete Math class (I'm a math major), and it's really complex math, and my teacher doesn't speak English, so I'm teaching it to myself. We don't have a choice! We have to teach it to ourselves. So, if Hogwarts was shut down, it would be just like having a teacher who doesn't speak English, you're pretty much on your own. We can do it! So, wizards and witches can, too!

To a point.

Jamie: Didn't I argue that you could?

Andrew: Yeah, I think she meant Ben.

Jamie: Okay, Ben.

Ben: Yeah, but no, I still completely disagree. You're not going to get...

Andrew: Hold on, hold on...

Jamie: Ben...

Andrew: Hold on. Let's not start this again. Let's not start this again.

[Everyone talking over each other]

Ben: Listen. Listen. Shut up. Let me speak, Kevin. [Kevin laughs]

Ben: She's not going to be able to teach herself Calculus as quickly or as good as if she had an instructor.

Andrew: That's a fair point.

Kevin: Einstein did it.

Ben: Oh yeah, and Einstein is the average college student.

Andrew: Steve...

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: But you can't speak for the person writing in.

Jamie: Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal: Homeschooling Part Two

Andrew: Steve Danison, 18, from Albany, NY also writes about homeschooling.

Jamie: But we haven't finished. [laughs] Sorry.

Andrew: Well, it's the same. I do not believe home schooling is an option because in order to be homeschooled, the students would have to be allowed to use magic outside of Hogwarts, which we know is not allowed. Okay?

I believe if Hogwarts is closed, there will be no schooling of any sorts, unless the students were to be sent to another school, which is unlikely. So, yeah.

That's a good point, Ben. Can't argue with that one.

Jamie: But, but...

Micah: I can.

Kevin: I think an exception would be made.

Jamie: They could change it, though.

Kevin: Yeah.

Micah: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: They could change it, but at the current time, right now...

Ben: In time of war they're going to change it. That's true, also.

Kevin: Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal: Homeschooling Part Three

Andrew: Darren, 39, from Columbus, Ohio also writes about homeschooling: The ability to learn without teachers does depend on the student. Examples: Newton invented Calculus. No one taught him. Number two: Hermione performed several spells before the first year. Number three: Hermione made the Polyjuice Potion long before it was taught. Number four: Fred and George created the swap, which was new magic. Number five: Marauder's Map, not something that would be taught. Number six: Horcrux, who taught Voldy to split his soul?

Jamie: Slughorn, Slughorn, Slughorn.

Andrew: In the end we take what we know and expand on it. This is learning without teachers.

Jamie: This is why...

Ben: Yes, I know, I know. And he makes a good point. But I'm saying you have to establish a base. When you have first years that are going in there, they have to actually have some basis for learning, they can't just be able to jump straight into advanced magic, they have to have...

Jamie: But, Ben...

Ben: ...established the building blocks.

Jamie: This is why the best students are always the people who go off and read for themselves and learn themselves on top of everything they do. I'm not saying that - you're right that you need a base, which is why you couldn't teach yourself at Kindergarten, you know, because you need somebody who can teach you the basics, but once you're there you can build on it, and so I think they could do that at wizarding school. [laughs] That sounded so bad. What a weak argument.

Ben: Yeah, that was pretty bad.

[Ben and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: That was terrible!

Name Intros: A Little Late

Andrew: I just realized we never did our name intros.

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: The show never began.

Kevin: Oh well, they know who we are.

Andrew: Start, rewind. I'm Andrew Sims.

Ben: I'm Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I'm Jamie Lawrence.

Kevin: I'm Kevin Steck.

Micah: And I'm Micah Tannenbaum.

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