MuggleCast 70 Transcript (continued)



Remix #1: Jamie


Jamie: This is Jamie Lawrence.

[Background music plays the Harry Potter theme]

Jamie: Is there? Oh my god!

Laura: It would make sense.

Jamie: Oh my god, thatís amazing! Oh my god!

Ben: Oh my gosh.

Jamie: Oh my god, Micah. Thatís absolutely awesome!

Ben: Oh my god. Micah Tannenbaum has discovered the key to the Harry Potter...

Jamie: Micah, that's absolutely awesome.

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]


Jamie: Okay, one, two, three, go.

[Jamie recites the DADA winning e-mail really fast]

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Eric: He is really doing that.

[Jamie continues]

Eric: Heís still going?

[Laura laughs]

[Jamie finishes]

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]


[Wedding march plays]

Jamie: Iíve been meaning to ask you this for a while now. Iím afraid I canít get down on one knee, but...

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Ben?

Ben: Yeah?

Jamie: Ben Carla Schoen...

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Carlo.

Jamie: Will you marry me?

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]


[The title track of Chariots of Fire begins to play]

Jamie: He has dreams at night, he has dreams at night of like, running through a cornfield, and theyíre chasing each other, and their arms are out.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Oh, come on.

Jamie: And you can hear, like, Chariots of Fire going. [starts humming "Chariots of Fire"]

Ben: Okay, enough embarrassing me.

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]


Jamie: [sings] Truly, madly, deeply do...

Andrew: Stop it.

[Laura laughs]

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]


[Jamie singing incomprehensibly]

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]


Jamie: [singing Cascada's Every Time We Touch] I canít let you go, want you in my life.

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]


Jamie: [singing Queen's Who Wants To Live Forever?] Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: [sings] Who wants to live forever? Oh. Who dares to love forever? Oh!

[Everyone laughs]

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]


Jamie: [speaking lyrics to a mix of Manfred Mann's Do Wah Diddy and Lee Greenford's Iím Proud To Be An American] There she was just a walking down the strip singing God Bless the USA.

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]


Jamie: [singing Iím Proud To Be An American loudly] New York to LA. Well, thereís pride in every American heart and itís time to stand and say Iím proud to be an American...

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: [continues singing] Where at least I know Iím free...

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: [continues singing] And I wonít forget the men who died who gave that right to me...

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: [continues singing] And Iíd gladly stand up next to you...

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]


Jamie: [sings intermittently] And weíre proud to be an American, where at least I know Iím free and I wonít forget the men who died who gave that right to me and Iíd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today, because there ainít no doubt I love this land. God bless the USA!

[Music changes]

Jamie: [speaking the lyrics of Every Time We Touch] Every time we touch, I feel the static. Every time we kiss, I reach for the sky. Canít you hear my heartbeat so, I can't let you go. I want you in my life.

So, uh, that's very nice.

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]

Jamie: And Iím Jamie Lawrence. Goodbye.

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]



Listener Created MuggleCast Segment #1: Maddie and Gloria


Maddie: Hey, everyone, welcome to this weekís MuggleCast GuestCast, and Iím Maddie Nelson.

Gloria: And Iím Gloria Mendoza.

Maddie: And weíre coming to you live from Maddieís bedroom. Gloria, howís the news?

Gloria: Well, according to some very reliable sources [intentionally coughs] The Quibbler [coughs], Voldemort has finally found love, and he is in love with Rita Skeeter. According to The Quibbler, they are currently living together with their 777 children, and Rita Skeeter has a 778th child on the way.

Maddie: Thatís gross. Voldemort and Rita Skeeter. Man, Voldemort shouldnít fall in love with Rita Skeeter because heís Ė heís mine. [Short pause]

Gloria: L.O.L. Itís great how you didnít laugh.

Maddie: [laughs]

Gloria: [sarcastically] Laughs.

Gloria: Well, if you donít believe me, ask him yourself. Hey, Voldemort, come here!

Gloria: [impersonating Voldemort with a deep voice] Huh?

Gloria: I said, come here!

Gloria: [as Voldemort] Huh?

Gloria: Get over here.

Gloria: [as Voldemort] Okay.

Gloria: Hey, Voldemort, will you tell Maddie here about your life with Rita Skeeter?

Gloria: [as Voldemort] Well, it all started on the Internet. I met her there, and we got off to a great start. I never ever told her I was evil, because, you know, I am an evil guy who likes to kill people and stuff. And well, actually, now Iím an evil guy who likes to kill people and stuff, but Iím in love, so it makes it all better and itís okay. But, we got married and had 70 children and by that time, I was pretty committed. Now, weíre on out 778th child and my goal is to have 7,007,777 children and take over the world.

Gloria: With love.

Maddie: Voldemort, Voldemort, how is it that you have so many freaking children?

Gloria: [as Voldemort] Well, since weíre both kind of snakes, every month, she just, you know, drops a litter of eggs. Yeah, and then they hatch and, you know, we eat the girls because we just want guys to start an army of love.

Maddie: Okay, then.

Gloria: Yeah, he Disapparated. Well, what an interview.

Maddie: [laughs] Yeah, that was Ė that was great. By the way, I think we should just make it really clear that that was totally a joke for anyone that could possibly have taken that seriously.

Gloria: Yeah, it was a joke. They would never fall in love because itís kind of gross, and yeah.

Maddie: Itís really gross because itís Rita Skeeter and Iím pretty sure sheís not a snake, [laughs] so she wouldnít lay eggs. But thereís, like, thereís fan-fictions of Voldemort and Ginny, so weíre just making fun of it. Weíre joking.

Gloria: And now, letís bring out our second special guest: Harry Potter, everyone!

[Applause and cheering]

Gloria: I want to have your babies!

Maddie: [impersonating Harry Potter with a deep voice] Hey, hey, girls. Hey, whatís up? Iím Harry Potter. Oh, sorry, Iím just so bloody good-looking sometimes, I canít help myself. What was your question?

Gloria: I havenít asked you a question, yet, Harry.

Maddie: [as Harry] Oh, well, then, youíd better ask.

Gloria: Well, whatís your relationship with Voldemort?

Maddie: [as Harry] Sorry, I wasnít listening. I was Ė Iím just looking at myself in that mirror over there. What was that? Sorry.

Gloria: What is your relationship with Voldemort?

Maddie: [as Harry] Oh, I love Ginny! I love Ginny. She is so cute.

Gloria: No, your relationship with Voldemort.

Maddie: [as Harry] Oh! Oh, him. Yeah, heís Ė no, I would never date him. Ewww.

Gloria: No, I mean, what are your emotions toward him? Do you hate him or do you love him or what?

Maddie: [as Harry] The guyís hideous. No one loves him. Except for that crazy girl who hosts this show. Maddie Nelson? What the hell? I mean, what the bloody hell? [laughs] Iím good-looking. The end.

Gloria: So, do you think Voldemort would have turned out to be a good person if he would have been raised with more love?

Maddie: [as Harry] You know, I was raised with, like, these Dursley people, and they never loved me, so I donít know what his problem is. I think he just Ė I think heís just bitter because heís so ugly.

Gloria: Well, do you think because of his bitterness, he resembles Hitler or the KKK in any way?

Maddie: [as Harry] What are you talking about?

Gloria: You know? In history, JK Rowling wrote your book. You wouldnít exist if it wasnít for her.

Maddie: [as Harry] What book? I totally exist. Look at that mirror over there. Donít you see me? Iím beautiful!

Gloria: Iím sorry, youíre just a figment of our imaginations.

Maddie: [as Harry] Iím so real! Like, Iíll prove it to you. Hey, hey, fangirls. Who wants to touch me?

[Cheering]

Maddie: [as Harry] Yeah, Iíll call you later, baby. So, whatís up?

Gloria: Okay, Harry.

Maddie: [as Harry] Yeah, peace. And love, you know, because thatís my secret weapon against Voldemort. Oh, fangirls! I love you so much.

[Cheering continues]

Maddie: Well, that was our show. I hope you guys enjoyed it. And once again, Iím Maddie Nelson.

Gloria: And Iím Gloria Mendoza.

Maddie: Wow, Gloria, you know, I sure feel naked without a new MuggleCast t-shirt.

Gloria: Yeah, so do I!

Maddie: Somebody should give us a free MuggleCast t-shirt!

Gloria: Yeah! You know, it would be great to have a brand-new t-shirt for free.

Maddie: From MuggleCast. Yeah, you guys really should seriously consider it.

Gloria: Yeah, or someone should consider it. Yeah.

Maddie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gloria: That's it.

Maddie: Iíll give you my shipping address if youíd like.

Gloria: Yep.



Remix #2: Andrew's Rap


[Background music begins]

Eric: I wonder what the outtakes are going to be like.

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Andrew: Itís going to be an awesome new single.

[Music plays]

Andrew: [repeats MySpace continually] Itís going to be promoting all of our outlets Ė our community outlets.

[Music continues]

Andrew: I like it, I like it.

[Music continues]

Eric: I wonder what the outtakes are going to be like.

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Andrew: Itís going to be an awesome new single.

[Music continues]

Andrew: MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Frappr, Last.FM! Fanlisting Forums. MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Frappr, Last.FM! Fanlisting Forums.

Eric: Itís a Frappr Map!

[Repeats continually between the rap, Andrew repeating "MySpace" and "I like it, I like it. Promoting all of our outlets - our community outlets. Become our friends."]

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Andrew: Itís going to be an awesome new single.



Remix #3: 12 Days of MuggleCast


On the first day of MuggleCast,
Andrew gave to me
A new show intro catchphrase.

On the second day of MuggleCast,
Jamie gave to me
Two British jokes
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the third day of MuggleCast,
Eric gave to me
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the fourth day of MuggleCast,
Micah gave to me
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the fifth day of MuggleCast,
The hosts gave to me
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo
Three crackpot theories
Two British jokes
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the sixth day of MuggleCast,
Kevin gave to me
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the seventh day of MuggleCast,
The hosts gave to me
Seven Horcruxes,
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the eighth day of MuggleCast,
Laura gave to me
Eight rants against Laura Mallory,
Seven Horcruxes,
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the ninth day of MuggleCast,
Ben gave to me
Nine recording locations,
Eight rants against Laura Mallory,
Seven Horcruxes,
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the tenth day of MuggleCast,
Andrew gave to me
Ten more new segments
Nine recording locations,
Eight rants against Laura Mallory,
Seven Horcruxes,
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the eleventh day of MuggleCast,
Eric gave to me
Eleven hours of talking,
Ten more new segments,
Nine recording locations,
Eight rants against Laura Mallory,
Seven Horcruxes,
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the twelfth day of MuggleCast,
The hosts gave to me,
Twelve monthsí worth of humor,
Eleven hours of talking,
Ten more new segments,
Nine recording locations,
Eight rants against Laura Mallory,
Seven Horcruxes,
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.



Listener Created MuggleCast Segment #2: Fantasy Casting


Leah: This is Fantasy Casting, which is your fake MuggleCast segment. I'm Leah Bartels.

Amanda: I'm Amanda Braun.

Kabir: I'm Kabir Jokaru.

Erin: And I'm Erin Holswade.

Leah: The rules of fantasy casting are Ė well, basically, in the movies, you have to be British, and you obviously have to be the correct age. We're getting rid of those requirements. Doesn't matter if you're American, or if you're African. We don't care. Doesn't matter if you want to cast a young Fred Astaire as Harry Potter. You can do that. You can do pretty much anything you want on Fantasy Casting.

Erin: Old, young, or dead!

[Leah laugh]

Kabir: My personal favorite...

[Everyone laughs]

Leah: We love to bring people back from the dead. All right. So, first of all, those are the people that I really donít want to ever get rid of, and that would definitely be Maggie Smith, who plays McGonagall.

Amanda: Oh yes. Right.

Leah: And I also wouldnít want to get rid of Robbie Coltraine as Hagrid. All right, so, letís move on to actually casting people. A lot of people donít like the way that Michael Gambon has been playing Dumbledore.

Amanda: I wonder why.

[Leah laughs]

Amanda: Iíd kind of like to bring Richard Harris back from the dead. I mean...

Leah: If we had to choose an old white guy, either bring Richard Harris back from the dead, which we can do on Fantasy Casting.

Erin: Because, you know, weíre magical like that.

Amanda: We got powers.

Leah: Or Iíd say we could cast Peter OíToole, who played King Priam in Troy.

Erin: I have a nomination - Morgan Freeman. Iíve got to say, despite the fact that heís black, he just has that wisdom and that sort of quiet grace.

Amanda: The aura.

Kabir: Well, now that I think about it Ė sorry, but, now that I think about it, I know another good role for Dumbledore. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Leah: [laughs] No!

Erin: No!

Amanda: No!

Kabir: Well, do you want to know why?

Amanda: Why do donít we get him as Fenrir Greyback? [laughs]

[Erin laughs]

Leah: Why? Why?

Kabir: Want to know why? Because, no offense or anything, but the current Dumbledore sucks.

Erin: We all know that.

Amanda: No, Michael Gambon - weíve gone through that.

Kabir: To prove the fact that somebody like Arnold...

Amanda: Schwarzenegger. [laughs]

Kabir: ...could do a better job than him.

Amanda: Yes. Yes. That would be...

Erin: Okay.

Leah: You know, he would make a really funny Karkaroff.

Amanda: Yeah, he would make a very fine Karkaroff. [laughs]

Erin: [laughs] You will be terminated!

Leah: Who would we get to play Ginny Weasley?

Amanda: Ginny Weasley.

Leah: Young Nicole Kidman.

Kabir: Paris Hilton.

Leah: No!

Amanda: No!

Erin: No!

[Everyone laughs]

Leah: Iím kind of torn between Amber Tamblyn, who played the part of Joan in Joan of Arcadia and Alexis Bledel, who plays Rory on Gilmore Girls.

Erin: I'd personally go with Amber Tamblyn. She just suits the character better, in my own opinion.

Leah: Yeah, she - it's kind of her normal teenage angsty side, you know? Like "Nobody likes me," and "Oh my god, my boyfriend's an idiot."

Erin: She played that really well.

Leah: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Amanda: In, like, interviews I've read, she's a really down-to-earth person, so I think she can incorporate that really well into characters. I mean...

Leah: Yeah, on the other side, Alexis Bledel plays a sort of intelligence side. Of course, I'm totally banking on how she plays Rory.

Amanda: I'd have to say, I - it's a little too sweet.

Leah: Yeah.

Amanda: I think Ginny's got a little more spite...

Erin: Attitude?

Amanda: ... in her.

Leah: Yeah. All right. And, speaking of Gilmore Girls, Milo Ventimiglia, who played Jess during the first few seasons.

Erin: Mm.

Amanda: Complete bad boy.

Leah: He would make the perfect...

Amanda: James.

Leah: ...Young James Potter.

Amanda: Ever.

Leah: Exactly. And his hair defies gravity. Both of them. Who can we think of for Hermione Granger?

Amanda: I personally liked the girl who played Trillian, maybe?

Leah: Zooey Deschanel...

Amanda: Yes.

Leah: ...Who played Trillian in the movie to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. She's definitely really quirky.

Amanda: And I think that describes Hermione really well.

Erin: Yeah.

Leah: And it would be hilarious to see her send canaries after...

[Everyone laughs]

Amanda: Yeah. You know what...

Leah: He deserved it.

Amanda: He did. And you know what?

Erin: He did deserve it.

Amanda: She's allowed a freak-out. Everybody's allowed to freak out about something. It was about time he noticed she...

Erin: She's a girl! Harry does it at least once a book!

Amanda: Of course.

Leah: Ginny pulled a wand on her brother.

Amanda: Yeah.

Kabir: Well, who doesn't these days?

Leah: Poor Ron. Actually, while we're on the subject of Ron, does anybody - I mean, I like Rupert Grint...

Amanda: He's not...

Erin: But I can't think of anyone else to put in place of him.

Amanda: I - yeah, I couldn't think of anyone else.

Kabir: Ron is like one of those characters where you can't really replace them. The actor - he's just too much into the role. There's nobody better for that role.

Amanda: Well, that's...

Leah: That we can think of. [laughs]

Amanda: That's the thing. I mean the thing about replacing people halfway. Michael Gambon is a very, very good show of what happens when you replace an actor mid-series of a movie. I mean...

Erin: Uh huh.

Leah: Well, if they had replaced him with somebody more fitting for the role, like say, Peter O'Toole, then it wouldn't have been so jarring, but the thing is, he and Richard Harris had two completely different takes on what the character of Dumbledore...

Amanda: Exactly.

Leah: ...was all about. But, in fact...

Amanda: I mean, he hasn't even read the books!

Leah: Exactly! He doesn't even know what a take on the character should be.

Amanda: Exactly.

Leah: Yeah, I would not replace the Phelps twins.

Erin: Yeah, no way. The characters...

Amanda: The Phelps twins are not getting replaced. They are far too funny. They work wonderfully together. They can't be replaced.

Leah: Yeah. They just play the roles so perfectly.

Amanda: I was watching Goblet of Fire and just sitting there during the scene where...

Leah: Where they were putting their...

Amanda: ...they have the age potion!

Erin: Yeah.

Leah: Yeah, and they were putting their names in the goblet.

Amanda: I, I was just geeking out because it was perfect!

Leah: And, you know, they're really - their interaction with Emma Watson when she...

Amanda: Yeah.

Leah: ...and she just, like...

Amanda: "It's not going to wooork!"

Leah: ...and they had the fight, and I was thinking, "You probably just read the script this morning, didn't you? Good on you!" Because, you know, she had it memorized and could use all the big words. Good job, Emma Watson. We won't replace you, after all. [laughs]

[Erin laughs]

Amanda: [laughs] When she said that she would hunt down the person that she...

[Everyone laughs]

Leah: Yeah, and actually, in an interview, she did say that if she was replaced, she would hunt down the new girl because she didn't want to be replaced. [laughs]

Amanda: [laughs] Awww.

Leah: Well, it's nice that she's so touched and also, a little bit homicidal.

Amanda: Oh yeah, a little scary, but...

Leah: A little scary.

Kabir: How sweet.

Erin: Not!

Amanda: But you know?

[Leah laughs]

Amanda: But you know what? That says that she's really devoted to the character, so...

Leah: And that, and that...

Amanda: ...we've got to give her props for that. Props for...

Leah: All right, can we think of any other sort of...

Amanda: Well, do Snape. Let's just talk about...

Leah: All right, Alan Rickman plays a phenomenal Snape, but that's so not how I imagined him in the books.

Erin: Same.

Amanda: Did anybody imagine Alan Rickmanís portrayal?

Erin: No.

Kabir: No.

Amanda: The thing is, though, it works so well.

Leah: It's completely original. Like, you think of Snape in the books and he's like this total slimy, evil...

Erin: Yeah, like...

Leah: ...nasty ball of hair-grease. But in the movies, he's just...

Amanda: It's like elegance. In the movie...

Leah: Ugh. Okay, Alan Rickman makes Snape cool. He is just so not what I imagined, but he's really perfect. But if I had to pick a Snape that would be my Snape, I wouldn't even know where to start.

Amanda: Yeah, I think Alan Rickman is just it.

Erin: I just want to shamelessly plug... you know, I made a GeoCities account. I e-mailed it to Eric and yeah. It's a GeoCities www.geocities.com/eric_scull. Yeah, it is his very own fansite. Thanks!

Leah: We love you, Spielerman. All right, well, that was your edition of Fantasy Casting. We're going to bring it back to your favorite MuggleCasters, because we know we're just a sad replacement.

Kabir: Good night, everybody.

[Leah laughs]

Erin: Adios.



Remix #4: Love


[Background music begins]

Laura: The power of love.

[Music plays]

Laura: How would you contain something like love behind a door?

[Music break]

Laura: People can't even come up with a definition for love, so how do you contain it?

[Music break]

Laura: The power of love.

[Music break]

Eric: You contain things so that you can study them.

[Music break]

Eric: You trap an insect - a lightning bug - to see what it does.

[Music break]

Eric: It's almost like you know how to catch it before you know what it is you have.

[Music break]

Eric: It's almost like you know how to catch it before you know what it is you have.

[Music break]

Eric: It's true about everybody. It's true about everybody.

[Music break]

Eric: You trap an insect - a lightening bug - to see what it does. It's almost like you know how to catch it before you know what it is you have. <

[Music break]

Eric: It's almost like you know how to catch it before you know what it is you have.

[Music break]

Laura: The power of love.

[Music break]

Laura: Anytime in any of your lives that you have ever been attracted to somebody, did you just look at that person and say, "I think I want to be attracted to this person"? No, it just happens.

[Music break]

Laura: It just happens.

[Music break]

Laura: It just happens. The power of love. You can't control it. It just happens. The power of love. You can't...just...capture that. You can't just say, "I have this," because you have no control over it. It's the same way with love. It's the same way with love.

[Music break]

Eric: It's almost like you know how to catch it before you know what it is you have. It's true about everybody.

[Music break]

Laura: People can't even come up with a definition for love, so how do you contain it? You can't control it. It just happens. The power of love. The power of love. You can't control it.

[Music break]

Laura: How would a room contain the power of love?

[Music break]

Laura: The power of love. The power of love.

[Remix ends]



Remix #5: All You Need Is Love


Laura: That's neat.

Andrew: It does sound like we don't like each other.

[All You Need is Love starts to play in background]

Ben: Speaking of B.S., let's go to Micah Tannenbaum for the past week's news!


Andrew: Well, what you guys don't actually know is Kevin's actually a girl.


Kevin: Also, we have to remind you to not vote for The Leaky Cauldron.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: You know, their podcast is horrible.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Kevin: They shouldn't be on the air, so don't even vote for them, please.

[Andrew laughs]


Andrew: Oh, and I would also like to clear something up: We don't...hate...Ben.


Emerson: Well, his mom is his sister, and his dad is his brother.

[Audience laughs]

Emerson: Ben knows all about that being from Kansas.


Ben: Okay, Micah, go to the dungeon! You're outta here!

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Micah: You go to the dungeon, Baine.

Ben: Get out of my sight! Get out of my sight!


Eric: Andrew has totally got this - this Jersey-hooker-red-light-district-type attitude.


Andrew: Don't forget, MuggleCast T-shirts. I wear them to school, and I actually get noticed for once.

Kevin: Yeah, when the apples hit your head.


Laura: I was going to say that they pick their least favorite person on a podcast, and they throw them through.

Ben: Well, bye, Laura!

Laura: No, I was actually thinking to pick you, Ben.

Ben: Bye, Eric!

Andrew: Well, here, let me ask you guys something: What is the number one request that we get right now?

Ben: Less Eric Scull?

[Laura laughs]


Jamie: Every time you vote for PotterCast, God kills a kitten.

Andrew: We still love each other.

[Remix ends]



Listener Created MuggleCast Segment #3: Wizard Words


[Classical music in background]

James Brown: Hello there! I'm James Brown, and welcome to the wonderful world of wizard words, the etymology of Harry Potter. I'll be your host, and I just want to say, I've been a MuggleCast fan since December of 2005. The idea behind this segment is to give you some insight on some of the words, names, terminology that's used in the Harry Potter books by J.K. Rowling. I look to talk about character names, locations, incantations for spells - that kind of thing. Just some background about myself: I am a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana; a graduate of philosophy and chemistry from the University of Oklahoma; and etymology is a hobby of mine. My favorite words are onomatopoeia and specificity. Also, for pronunciation sake, I am using the audio books as read by Jim Dale as a guide to the American versions. And one more note: Whenever I have been sorted either online or in toy stores with the hats, I have always been put into Slytherin. But don't hold it against me.

James: Let's start. Let's start with the Unforgivable Curses, why not? We will start with the Imperius Curse, which is from the Latin root imperium, which means, "command," or "supreme power." And imperio, which is the incantation, means, "order, govern, command." So, along those lines. Pretty much it's something where you take charge of somebody, and you tell them what to do, which is exactly what the curse does. The spell causes the victim to be completely under the command of the caster.

James: The next curse I want to talk about is the Cruciatus Curse, the incantation being Crucio, both of which are from the Latin, cruciatus, which means, "torture." You may recognize some English words that we have seen, such as "crucify," and, "excruciating," all come from the same root, all about torment and torture. So, that will tell you what that spell does. It causes the victim to suffer almost intolerable pain. Some victims of prolonged use of the curse have been driven insane. I didn't mean to rhyme there.

James: And, of course, there's the third Unforgivable Curse, the Killing Curse. As the incantation will tell you, Avada Kedavra. A lot of people think it's just abracadabra with the word, "kedavra," thrown in there, cadaver being the medical term for dead bodies that medical students use to study. But abracadabra itself is just a kabalistic charm in Judaic mythology that is supposed to bring healing powers. One if its sources is supposed to be from the Aramaic abhadda kedhabhra. Another is the Phoenician alphabet, "Ah-Brah-Cah-Dabrah," which is essentially, if you were saying that in English, it would just be A - B - C - D, which is ironic, because the word, "alphabet," comes from the Greek doing the same thing, alpha, beta, gamma, delta - alphabeta. But, that's not the point. I digress. It's from the Aramaic, mainly adada kídavra, which literally means, "let the thing be destroyed." And that's exactly what it does. It causes instant death in a flash of green light, usually leaving no sign of physical damage or the cause of death, though, would be [un]detectable by any kind of Muggle autopsy. And, of course, that's what Voldemort used on the Potters, among others.

James: Well, enough about spells for this one. Let's talk about some names. Mainly the Black brothers. The first thing that struck me, being an Astronomy student at one point in my life, was that Sirius is also the name of the Dog Star. It is the brightest star in Canis Major, the great dog constellation. Sirius, the word itself, is from the Greek. It means, "burning." So, there's a lot of dog elements so far, but I'll tell you something else. According to the HP Lexicon, another one of Sirius's names, Padfoot, which refers to his Animagus form - it is also the name of the residents of central and northern England have for magical black dogs of their legend. Usually, padfoots guard churchyards or certain roads and are said to roam the countryside at night. They tend to be larger than ordinary dogs, can vanish instantly or fade away slowly while standing still. Hmmm, reminds me of a scene in Prisoner of Azkaban - yet can run extremely quickly, typically described as having huge and blazing eyes. They tend to be silent. Because of their association with graveyards, scholars once believed the black dog form was the preferred form of the devil and are usually considered an omen of death and are thus called, "The Grim," as Professor Trelawney could tell you.

James: Now, let's talk about Regulus for a second, Regulus Black. His first name means, "the little king," in Latin, like regal, regent, those royal names all come from the same root. But Regulus is a star in the constellation Leo. And Leo, of course, is Harry Potter's sign, him being born July 31st. But I was wondering, I managed to see on one or two sites saying that his name might be - his middle name might be Alphard, A - L - P - H - A - R - D, and if that is so, it's interesting, because it's the name of a star that's not very far from Regulus in the constellation Hydra, and the Arabic name - the Arabic translation of that name, Alphard, is, "the solitary one," which could be quite fitting for Regulus, as he has neither been part of the Order of the Phoenix and, apparently, he has abandoned his Death Eater compatriots, if he was ever really truly one. So, it's interesting that that would be "the solitary one," because Regulus is the solitary one.

James: Well, that's pretty much all I wanted to say for this time out. Information for this podcast segment has been gathered from numerous sources, including but not limited to the HP Lexicon, the MuggleNet Encyclopedia, Wikipedia, Unabridged.Merriam-Webster.com, and the Astronomy Page of the University of Illinois-Urbana-Champaign. I would especially like to thank the HP Lexicon, who has given me permission to use their site as a resource. I didn't realize how extensive a resource it is until I actually started preparing for the podcast, so, thank you to them. Anyway, remember: Quidquid latine dictum sit altum viditur. Thank you. I'm James Brown.

[Musical Intermission: Piano, percussion, electronic mix]



Remix #6: Making Noises


Andrew: It's time now for another installment of the Crackpot Theory of the Week. We've gotten lots of...

Jamie: Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

[Techno music begins playing in background]

Jamie: Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Andrew: I like that music.

Jamie: [echoes] A kind of flavor.

Andrew: I like that music.

Jamie: Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

[Music stops]

Andrew: [To the tune of the theme from the Harry Potter movies] Nar nar nar nar nar nar nar nar! Nar nar nar nar nar nar. HUH!?

[Techno plays in background again]

Jamie: Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. A kind of flavor, flavor, flavor. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. That's loud, this one.

Andrew: Ummm, I guess that's it.

Jamie: Go, go, go, go.

[Remix ends]

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