MuggleCast | The #1 Most-Listened to Harry Potter Podcast

MuggleCast 84 Transcript

Show Intro

[Audio]: What's up, MuggleCast listeners? If you want to make an impact online, has what you need. Get your own dot-com domain name for as low as $1.99. Plus world class hosting, fast and easy website builders and much more. Plus, as a listener of MuggleCast enter code Ron, that's R-O-N, when you check out and get your dot-com domain name for just $6.95 a year. Some restrictions apply, see site for details. Get your piece of the internet at

Andrew: This week's MuggleCast is also brought to you by Borders. Prepare for the upcoming release of Book 7 by catching a glimpse of where it all began. During the month of April, you can purchase Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone on DVD for only $14.99 at Borders. Also be sure to reserve Book 7 at Borders at 40 percent off and get a free sticker. Choose from "Trust Snape" or "Snape is a very bad man."

[Intro music begins to play]

Andrew: Because Jamie is special, this is MuggleCast Episode 84 for April 5th, 2007.

[Intro music continues to play]

Jamie: Okay, hello, everyone. Welcome to MuggleCast Episode 84. This is a special episode due to me being an absolute idiot and missing my train. What do you all think of that?

Mikey: [laughs] I donated.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: Did you donate? I wouldn't donate to that.

Ben: I think we should tell the full story. Explain what happened, Jamie.

Mikey: Hold on. I donated.

Jamie: We've already told the full story. I know you did, Mikey.

Mikey: But no one knows how much I donated, Jamie.

Jamie: Well, it was a very generous donation. You helped a lot with that, thank you.

Mikey: I donated $0.01, and Paypal let them know how much I sent them and everything.

Jamie: He did.

Kevin: Did that cost you money?

Jamie: And we were just overjoyed, Mikey, with that obviously very generous donation.

Mikey: Of course. I was not laughing at you at all.

Kevin: I hear static.

Ben: So, basically, since Jamie...

Jamie: We've told the story, Ben.

Ben: Hold on, hold on. Since Jamie can't drive, they had to take the train into London. How many times have you ridden the train? That's the real question.

Jamie: Well, let me count. There was that time five years ago when I jumped on it for twenty minutes quickly. There was that time - how am I supposed to know how many times I've ridden the train?

Ben: Well, I don't know. You've ridden it plenty haven't you?

Jamie: Loads of times, yeah.

Ben: Well then how could you screw up this big? Like, seven hundred, you know.

Jamie: Well, I'm sorry Ben, I completely forgot that...

Ben: You did it on purpose, didn't you? You did it on purpose.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: Yes, that's exactly - you see, I love wasting four hundred pounds. It's my favorite thing in the world, so I thought I'd, you know, waste four hundred more.

Ben: The cat's out of the bag now, Jamie.

Jamie: It is, I know. It's terrible. But since it's to celebrate - this show is to celebrate an extremely funny and silly event, I thought that we'd make it a very funny and silly show. So what we're going to do is we're going to go through all the segments that we used to have on the show and we're going to do something for all of them. Well, most of them. We aren't going to do Chapter-by-Chapter.


[laughs] I wonder why.

Jamie: I wonder why as well.

Ben: That's my favorite.

Jamie: Well, mine too, but you know, I was just too excited so we couldn't get it on.

[Laura laughs}

[Intro music continues to play]


Jamie: Now we have a few announcements. You know, I'm reading this right off the show plans, and I'm trying to sound like Andrew to try and do as well as him, but it's actually quite hard. I have a newfound respect for the guy.

Kevin: Don't respect Andrew.

Jamie: Okay.

Kevin: Don't respect...

Jamie: What? Don't respect Toots?

Kevin: Exactly.

Jamie: I respect Toots.

Mikey: You know, I think we should call him Simsy because I was calling him that in New York City.

Jamie: I think we should call him Simsy. But you know, I thought everyone had called him Andrew, but when I went to his school for the day, everyone just calls him Sims. Everyone calls him Sims; "Alright, Sims?" "Hey, Sims."

Ben: That's weird. I couldn't...

Jamie: I think we should just call him that.

Mikey: Well, I think we should call him Simsy because it's a little bit further.

Jamie: Simsy, yeah.

Mikey: It's like, "What's up, Simsy."

Jamie: It's a cute name, as well.

Ben: Well, I usually call him other names. But I can't...

Jamie: You can't really say them on the show.

Ben: Yeah, I can't really say them on air. First of all, Enlightening 2007; Jamie, Andrew, and myself are going to be there - and Micah, are going to be there. There's going to be a podcast open to the public. We're going to be talking all about the movie, the book...

Jamie: Harry Potter?

Ben: ...Our excitement, all that good stuff. There's 350 spaces for registered guests, and 250 for the public. So, yeah, you can - most likely, if you show up there, you're going to get a space. Philadelphia's really a - it's a really high - the per capita of Harry Potter fans I was pretty impressed with because when I was there this past - you know, it was on this book tour with Emerson...

Jamie: Ooh.

Ben: ...And there was a surprising amount of people at the Philadelphia event. There were more people there than there were at any of the other events, and there were close to 250. So, it was pretty impressive.

Jamie: Wow.

Ben: Particularly for a weeknight event, too. So, yep. And the podcast is going to be held on July 13 after dinner. Podcast Alley - go vote for us. We want to be number one. We want to be the best. We want to be the top Harry Potter podcast because we know you guys think we're the best, so show some love, yo.

Jamie: Where is the love?

Ben: Where is the love?

Jamie: The Black Eyed Peas had a similar sentiment.

MuggleNet Book Tour

Ben: And also, Emerson and I have some more tour dates that I am pleased to announce for everybody right now. We don't have any times yet - we don't have any specific times yet, so those will be announced at a later date. But in Encinitas in the San Diego area; we'll be there on May 25th. Then we're going to be at Otay Ranch in the San Diego area on May 26th. Then we're going to be at Newport Beach on May 27th. Then we are going to be in Torrance, California, on May 31st.

Jamie: Cool.

Ben: So these are all going to be at Barnes & Noble locations. There will be a website - excuse me, we already have the website, MuggleNet.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: It will have a page with all of this information on it and the times to be there. Of course, we'll be giving away prizes from Alivan's. You know, talking about Harry Potter and having a good time with you fans. So come out and see us, and then later June we'll have somewhere around 12 to 13 stops in June. So yeah, get excited. We're coming to a town near you. That's all through the Midwest and east coast again.

Jamie: Thank you, Ben.

Make the Connection

Jamie: And now we go to our first segment today, which is a new one. Sort of extremely silly to celebrate the stupidness of the event. This is "Make the Connection" in which the hosts have to make a connection between Harry Potter and a random book, film, movie, or whatever that I tell them to. This should be quite exciting. So Laura, your connection is Harry Potter and Pride and Prejudice, the book.

Laura: Okay.

Jamie: Go.

Laura: Well, I think that big themes in both with Harry Potter and Pride and Prejudice are love, and... [laughs]

Jamie: Good. Very good.

Laura: ...Overcoming pride and prejudice. So, I mean, obviously I know that the main character in Pride and Prejudice comes from a poor family which is kind of like Ginny, and I know that...

Kevin: [laughs] Oh, geez.

Laura: Actually, I haven't read the book, so I don't know any of this, [laughs] but I know that the leading male does not like her first, and Harry kind of didn't like Ginny. He didn't dislike her, but he didn't have romantic feelings towards her in the beginning, and...

Jamie: Not bad, not bad at all. Very good.

Laura: And he did overcome it, so.

Jamie: Ben, you have to make a connection between Harry Potter and Saving Private Ryan.

Ben: I've never seen Saving Private Ryan.

Jamie: That doesn't matter, come on.

Ben: I don't know. There's a lot of war. There we go.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: There's tons of war in both of them.

Jamie: Two out of ten. Kevin, you have to make a connection between Harry Potter and Windows Vista.

Kevin: Okay. Well, this one is easy.

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: You know how - have any of you ever re-read Goblet of Fire?

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Kevin: You know how it goes really, really [audio slows] slow at certain points? And then [audio speeds up] speeds itself up? Exactly like Windows Vista.

[Laura and Mikey laugh]

Jamie: Wow. [laughs] That's very good. You're the winner so far, but Mikey, I've got quite a difficult one for you.

Mikey: Oh, no.

Jamie: You have to make a connection between Harry Potter and elephant gestation periods. So, come on.

Mikey: laughs I'm going to say both are pretty awesome, and...

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: Right there, right there. That's a connection that the two have.

Jamie: Anything else to add?

Mikey: Both are kind of graphic. Harry Potter is not really a children's book, but it is at the same time. But that's as much I can think of off the top of my head. Thank you for that one, Jamie.

Jamie: Okay. That's a pretty good job.

Kevin: How about you, Jamie?

Jamie: Very good.

Kevin: How about Harry Potter and making a train on time?

Jamie: Well, I think this is very, very important because Harry Potter is all about responsibility and caring for your friends, which I failed at completely because I was suppose to get Andrew and Sam to London and I completely failed, unlike Harry. He's going to - actually, that's a kind of anti-connection.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: Completely different; Harry Potter and missing your train.

Laura: Yeah, Jamie. Geez, at least when Harry and Ron miss the train in Chamber of Secrets, Ron got him a car.

Kevin: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: Got him a flying car, yeah. Damn! There was a flying car outside.

Ben: Yeah, it didn't cost them 10 million pounds.

Jamie: I just didn't think of them. Yeah, exactly. [laughs]

What If?

Jamie: Okay, let's go on to our next segment. This hasn't been done for a while now. It's "What If." So, we ask a question, "What if something in the books or movies completely changed, how would the series develop as a whole from there?" Our question today is, "What if Harry and Hermione had seen themselves when they had gone back in time in Prisoner of Azkaban?" Laura?

Laura: Hermione would have said, [imitating a British accent] "Does my hair really look like that from the back?"

Jamie: And Harry would have been...

[Kevin and Laura laugh]

Jamie: "You have your mother's eyes."

Laura: I don't know. I mean, obviously it wouldn't have been very good because they talked about the consequences of that in the chapter. They would have thought there was really, really dark magic going on. They would have gone insane. Knowing the way Harry is, he might have gotten kind of crazy and killed himself.

Jamie: You see? You say that, but don't you think they're extremely accepting?

Laura: "It's okay if there's another me. That's okay."

Jamie: If I saw - [laughs] exactly, exactly. But if I saw myself, and myself explained, "Look, I've come back in time to save a few people and stuff," would you believe them?

Laura: No. [laughs]

Jamie: I think I'd be tempted. I would challenge myself to an arm wrestle to see who won.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: I don't know, what do you think?

Mikey: Myself from an hour ago.

Jamie: [laughs] Exactly.

Ben: I don't think anything would happen. I don't know.

Mikey: I think Harry would've flipped out and, "Oh my gosh. My dad's alive."

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: "Dad, Dad."

Jamie: It's a good idea.

Mikey: And...

Ben: "It's him. I can see him. I want to see him."

[Jamie laughs]

Mikey: He thought his dad saved him, so, you know, he did see himself, and...

Jamie: That is true.

Mikey: And Hermione, in the movie; "Does my hair really look like that?" That's what would have happened.

Laura: Well, I don't think it matters if - Oh gosh, this is so hard to explain. I don't think it matters if the person who is actually traveling back in time sees the past self because they already know that's what happened. I think it's if the past self sees the future self that you have the problem.

Kevin: Yeah, without knowing that they were actually going to go back in time. Yeah, that would be a little confusing.

Mikey: Well, I think for Harry it's the biggest one. Because, one, he didn't know about the Time-Turner. But again, he still thought his dad was alive and his dad saved him. You know what I mean? And then he worked it out himself. He was waiting for his dad to show up and then he realized it wasn't his dad, it was himself.

Kevin: Yeah, but if you saw yourself close up you would know it's you and not your dad. [laughs]

Jamie: You would think so, yeah.

Mikey: Well, fine! Just destroy my theory there. Okay.

[Kevin and Jamie laugh]

Laura: Do you really think that he thought James was alive? I kind of took it that as him thinking it was his spirit or something like that.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: Yeah, who knows. I know, but...

Jamie: I don't know, though. I don't know if Harry would accept, you know, hearing from himself. Is Harry trusting or is he not trusting? Because I think he's a bit of both. He's sort of trusts people easily, just like Dumbledore. But then, because of all he's been through, perhaps he doesn't trust people as well. What do you think?

Laura: Hm, I don't know. I mean, I think especially after a couple of years at Hogwarts and learning about the Dark Arts and stuff, I think that Harry would be very suspicious of seeing himself.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: You know, walk...

Jamie: It must be weird, though. Seeing yourself. I don't know.

Spy On Spartz

Jamie: Anyway, Ben, you're going to be the main guy on this. Now, we haven't done this for a long, long time. We're going to Spy on Spartz. So, you've been doing the book tour with him for awhile. Where is he now? What has he been doing? What's he up to?

Mikey: Eating McDonalds.

Ben: I don't know...

Kevin: Five.

Ben: Going to school. He has five tests tomorrow.

Jamie: [laughs] Five? In one day?

Ben: Or three. My bad.

Jamie: That's still quite a lot in one day. Has he studied for them?

Ben: Probably not. [laughs]

Mikey: Well, what went on during the book tour?

Ben: What went on during the book tour? He forced me to drive the van because he's a jerk. His dad's van. His dad's big conversion van.

Jamie: Why couldn't he drive it?

Ben: Because he wanted to sit in the back and play Nintendo 64 with his roommate.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: I was like, "Okay, whatever."

Dueling Club

Jamie: Right, let's do our Dueling Club now because it hasn't been done for awhile. We're going to continue the Pokemon references and do: What would happen if Dumbledore faced off against MewTwo?

Ben: MewTwo? I've never heard of MewTwo. You're saying all these things I don't even know, dude, like Saving Private Ryan.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: Lots of wars. Tons of wars. [laughs]

Jamie: I thought it was a good connection. You know, there's a big war in both. I think that's fine. Who knows who MewTwo is?

Mikey: Isn't he a Pokemon?

Jamie: He is a Pokemon.

Laura: Um, yeah. [laughs]

Mikey: I'm Google searching it and...

Laura: Wasn't he in the first movie? He was, like, the messed up version of another one or something?

Jamie: Of Mew. Yeah, yeah. Okay, Mikey, let's do one for you here. Instead of Dumbledore versus MewTwo, I want to do Dumbledore versus Darth Sidius.

Mikey: Oh, wow. It's good versus dark right there. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: Well, Darth Sidius, he was very cunning. Very Slytherin-like. He manipulated a lot people, you know? He was the dark master in the new trilogy of Star Wars. I'm going way too serious into this. [laughs]

Jamie: No, no, no. It's good. It's good. Good stuff.

Mikey: Dumbledore, you know, he started the Order of the Phoenix. He's the protector of the light. I definitely think - I'm going to say it. I think Dumbledore would win. You know, come on, if Luke Skywalker eventually wins. That whiny little Mark Hamill.

Kevin: Yeah, that is definitely true.

Jamie: Yeah, that's very true.

Mikey: [laughing] That - You know, if Mark Hamill can eventually beat, you know, the Emperor, I definitely think Dumbledore could with just...

Jamie: Easily.

Mikey: With a couple of wand flicks here and there. Yeah.

Jamie: Here's a question, though. Here's a question. Does a light saber absorb spells?

Mikey: Yes, it would. Because we know for a fact - Okay, so this is my Star Wars geek side coming out. Part of the Dark Side...

[Ben and Kevin laugh]

Mikey: They can use Force Lightening. And there's also another planet where they're considered witches, people who use the Force. And a light saber can absorb Force Lightening and other Force-thrown items. So, just like a spell, a light saber would be able to block it and absorb it. So, yes.

Jamie: And here's a - For ten extra points, what substances - this is going to turn into a Star Wars podcast.

[Mikey laughs]

Jamie: Now, what substances can a light saber not cut through?

Mikey: Only another light saber.

Jamie: No, no, no. There's more, there's more.

Mikey: No. Only another...

Jamie: There's more.

Mikey: Well, I don't know.

Jamie: No. I saw it on Wikipedia. And that's the utmost, you know...

Kevin: Source of information?

Mikey: Well, it...

Jamie: Legitimate resource.

Mikey: There's other things it can't cut through. Like, you know...

Jamie: Is it Krick? No, no, not Krick. It's got, like, a word.

Mikey: No, no. For other - no, no.

Kevin: Okay, guys.

Mikey: No, there's been a comic book where...

Jamie: I'm looking now.

Mikey: A Jedi master fought with his cane, but it was a Force-enhanced, you know, cane.

Jamie: Oh, really?

Mikey: Yeah, so it's like, it can't cut through everything. But like, it can cut through any material. But the only other material it can't cut through is another light saber.

Kevin: There's always "Wookiepedia," guys.

Jamie: It's not - I'm sure there's something else. Perhaps I'm wrong.

Kevin: "Wookiepedia," anyone?

Mikey: Well, I Google searched, "What can't a light saber cut through?" And the question is close.

[Ben laughs]

Mikey: Can a light saber cut through Captain America's shield? I don't know. [laughs]

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: Can it?

Ben: I've never, I...

Mikey: I would assume so. But, okay, let's go back to Harry Potter because that's what we're talking about here.

Ben: It's not a Star Wars podcast.

Jamie: Mikey, Mikey. Cortosis ore, is one of them. And Frick alloy.

Mikey: Huh.

Jamie: According to Wikipedia.

Mikey: According to Wikipedia?

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: See, now I'm not going to pay attention to this, guys. I'm going to end up looking up Star Wars facts online.

[Kevin laughs]

Mikey: And I'm supposed to be...

Jamie: Oh, sorry, Mikey. I mean - Mikey, I mean, you're absolutely right. The only thing in the entire world that a light saber can't cut through is one more light saber. So yeah, well done. Right. Harry Potter.

Mikey: Good. Alright.

Jamie: Harry Potter. Right.

Favorite Book 7 Ending

Jamie: We're going to go on to one more segment that hasn't been done in ages: Favorites. And we are going to have what would be your favorite Book 7 ending? And this isn't just if Harry dies or not, this is what, in total, do you want to happen? So what happens to each of the major characters, what do you want the final outcome of the war to be? I hope everyone says that they hope Voldemort wins, but you know, each to his own. So, Ben?

Ben: Hm, favorite Book 7 ending. I want to see Harry die because that would be the coolest thing ever. Hate me.

Jamie: Wouldn't you cry, for weeks and weeks and weeks?

Kevin: Ooh.

Ben: No, I would never cry over a book.

Jamie: Oh, hard man. Hard man.

Ben: Oh, okay. I will cry when it's over, like when it's done, but I wouldn't cry over what happened in it. You know what I mean? I'll cry when it is all said and done, like, "Oh my God! No more Harry Potter!" Because the other day I was sitting there thinking about it. This is crazy. We only have 784 pages of Harry Potter left. [whispers] Ever.

Jamie: I know. Ever. Unless she writes a bit more. She's like, "I want to buy a new house." [laughs] Bit too expensive. I better write one more book. That'll do."

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: Kevin, what do you think? What do you want?

Kevin: I agree. I like the idea of Harry dying.

Jamie: You want to cry at the end as well?

Kevin: Yeah. Ron and Hermione living on but Harry dying. Jamie; Why? Why, though? I mean, come on...

Kevin: I don't know.

Jamie: Come on, people. Substantiate your reasons.

Kevin: No, I think it would be fitting with, you know, the way his life has been going. I think it would be actually a relief for him. I don't know.

Jamie: Laura?

Laura: To die?

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, to die. [laughs]

Kevin: Well, I mean, he lost all his friends and he lost his family, so.

Laura: I mean, there was that one episode, Jamie, where you talked about Harry opening up a hot dog stand. I think that would be pretty cool.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: But, I don't know.

Jamie: Yeah, but people would go just to buy a hot dog from Harry Potter.

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Kevin: I have this horrible vision of Ginny dying.

Jamie: "Can you sign my hot dog?"

Laura: [laughs] Well, okay, honestly though? What would I like so see - I think I would like to see more than anything justice done to the different characters. You know, characters like Malfoy.

Jamie: So, you want to see Voldemort dead?

Laura: Yeah, like Voldemort dead. Harry getting what he deserves, which is a happy life with Ginny and lots of kids.

Jamie: Is Jo that kind of author?

Laura: No, she's not.

Jamie: It would seem, I mean...

Laura: You would like to see that kind of thing. As for what we will see, well...

Jamie: You would.

Kevin: Do you see Ginny dying? I have this horrible...

Laura: I've thought about it...

Jamie: What?

Kevin: Ginny dying.

Laura: ...and I used to think it a lot more than I do now.

Jamie: Well, you see, over here, soaps, sitcom things, like, if one person kills another character, you know, and everyone's like, "Well, are they going to get caught? Are they not going to get caught?" You always know they are going to get caught because TV producers over here can't show that crime pays. I don't know if it's the same over...

Ben: Yeah, it's pretty much the same here too.

Jamie: It's the same. But, you know, the book is a different thing. She doesn't have to prove anything to anyone. It isn't like it's a role model for future books, you know. So, do you think that justice is going to get served?

Laura: Probably not. I mean, not to everybody.

Jamie: Because her world works that way.

Ben: I don't think it will. Because, I don't think - Not necessarily everybody, but - Well, I guess it will to some people. But I just don't think, I mean, something that Jo has made clear, I think, is that this is not a...

Jamie: It isn't a fairy tale.

Ben: A dream world. Yeah, it's not a fairy tale. There is no happily ever after. And...

Jamie: No, there's not.

Ben: Honestly, I would be disappointed if she turned it into, "Oh, everyone lived - yeah, everyone. Harry and Ginny went off and had a perfect life together."

Jamie: Exactly.

Laura: I think that...

Ben: And all those things.

Laura: What I mean by - When I say "justice," I mean characters like Bellatrix Lestrange who deserve to be blown into a million pieces for what she did. Obviously, it's not going to happen to everybody. But I think that the perfect Book 7 is going to leave me - Well, first of all, it will leave me in tears. I'll be crying the whole way through. But it will leave me wishing there was more, but, at the same time, thankful for what all I've gotten. And that's what I really want. I want something that really closes up all of the years, you know, and all of the experiences I've had out of Harry Potter.

Jamie: I think that's fair enough. Mikey?

Mikey: I do want Harry to live. I would really be sad if Harry died.

Jamie: Same here. I would be as well, I just...

Mikey: The reason is if Harry died, I would have very - I really wouldn't want to reread the series because he dies in the end. I would hate to be jaded, with as much as I love Harry Potter, so.

Ben: [sings] J-J-Jaded.

Jamie: [laughs] Thank you, Ben.

Mikey: Really, I think you know... [laughs] Really, I'd be happy with whatever outcome. But I really want Harry to live, not to die.

Jamie: I just - he's a person who just lives, that's the thing. He just soldiers on. He can't die.

Mikey: He's the Boy Who Lived. He's got to live, you know.

Jamie: He is, yeah.

Laura: I have to ask you guys a question.

Mikey: But I...

Jamie: The Boy Who Lived for seven books and then died.

Mikey: [laughs] Died.

Ben: The Boy Who Died doesn't make sense.

Jamie: [laughs] The Boy Who Died.

Laura: I honestly don't care either way.

Mikey: You know what, Laura, it's because you're a bad person.

Laura: Well, okay...

Mikey: He is supposed to live.

Laura: It's not that I don't love Harry because I do. But for something like...

Mikey: No, no, no, no, no. You're a bad person. For saying that.

Laura: I've thought about this for ages. Because everybody talks about how if Harry dies it would just be horrible. If Harry lives, he shouldn't live because it isn't realistic. I think it could go either way, and it honestly doesn't bother me to think about which outcome we get. I'm more bothered about characters like Ron and Neville because I love them and I'm terrified that they'll die. That'll just, like, break my heart.

Jamie: Oh, so you love them, but you don't... Jamie and

Mikey: Care about Harry?

Laura: Of course I care about Harry. Otherwise...

Jamie: No, Laura. No.

Mikey: Laura, you just, you know what Laura, is this Laura Mallory or Laura Thompson we're talking to?

Jamie: Yeah.

[Everyone but Laura laughs]

Laura: Hey.

Jamie: Damn, I dialed the wrong number on Skype.

Ben: Yeah.

Mikey: Sorry, Laura. I had to. I had to put that out there. That really...

Laura: No, I do love Harry. I think, I mean it will be sad if he does, I'm not saying it won't be.

Jamie: It will be.

Laura: But I don't have a preference either way, I guess.

Ben: How do you know it's going to be sad, though.

Laura: I don't think he should die, I don't think he should live.

Ben: Okay, I don't get this. How - Why would it be sad?

Laura: Because!

Ben: That's what I don't get.

Laura: It would be sad.

Jamie: Ben, Ben...

Ben: No, listen, listen. In many cultures, in many cultures...

Jamie: If someone dies, why would it be sad? I don't know.

Ben: Okay, in many cultures in the world people celebrate death, okay?

Laura: Yeah, but...

Ben: They say, "Oh my gosh, they're..." It's not because - I mean, sure, they don't like it that they're dead, but they...

Jamie: No, they don't celebrate death, it's a celebration of their life.

Laura: Life, yeah.

Jamie: You mourn their death by remembering their life.

Ben: No, you celebrate them going on to the next thing. Because would it be such a bad thing if Harry was reunited with his parents, with Sirius, and with Dumbledore?

Jamie: Well, if you believe in that.

Laura: If you believe in that.

Jamie: The afterlife. He could just go into a - you know. I don't know, though.

Mikey: But Dumbledore said death is not something to a person who is well prepared for it, and again, it's not the worst thing.

Jamie: But it is - it is, clearly.

Mikey: Well, that's what Voldemort fears, so definitely. It has to be the worst.

Ben: I think Voldemort's actually Jamie, ha ha ha. [Mockingly laughs]

Jamie: Yes. Damn, you've told my second secret of the show.

Mikey: Was that Micah or was that Ben?

Ben: That was me being an idiot - doing an idiot voice.

Kevin: It did, yeah.

Ben: That, incidentally, sounded like Micah.

Mikey: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: It did happen to.

Mikey: I know. [laughs] That's why I looked up, like, did someone else get added?

Ben: [Imitating Micah] Yeah.

Jamie: Okay. Second favorite.

Ben: [Imitating Micah] Welcome to the show. I'm Micah Tannenbaum.

Favorite Job For Harry

Jamie: Okay, favorite job for Harry. Now, Laura, you've already mentioned you'd love him to work as a hot dog vendor. Okay, so really, if Harry survives and all evil is vanquished, and everyone lives happily ever after, what job do we want Harry to do?

Kevin: I would say teacher.

Laura: Well...

Kevin: Like, everyone says Auror and stuff like that because that's what he wants to do, but I don't see him wanting to go back to the whole fighting dark wizards after all of this.

Jamie: Well, I'm sorry to say that I've read Book 7, and he's a grave digger after he finishes.

Kevin: I think he would be great if he lived at Hogwarts.

Mikey: I agree with Kevin.

Laura: I don't think Harry will have a job if he lives.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: Actually, he's going to write a book called...

Jamie: What happens after my life and who lives with me.

Ben: Harry Potter's What Happened in Harry Potter 7.

Mikey: Who Lived, Who Died... [laughs]

Ben: ...and How the Adventure Finally Ended.

Mikey: How I finally got old. No, I agree with Kevin. I think it would be cool if Harry was a teacher. I can totally see him being, eventually, headmaster.

Jamie: Isn't that too obvious, though?

Ben: I think he's going to become all washed up.

Laura: Didn't Jo say that none of the trio would be teachers, though?

Ben: Yeah, she did.

Mikey: No. I thought she said one of them, but it wouldn't be Harry, so I always assumed it would be Hermione.

Laura: Oh, okay.

Mikey: I'm pretty sure it was something like that.

Ben: I think...

Laura: I thought she said one character. I don't think she specified it was a trio member.

Mikey: Oh, maybe.

Ben: I think he's going to become head of the Auror department. I don't know. I think what's going to happen is...

Mikey: Maybe he should become Minister of Magic.

Ben: You know, he saved the world and all that stuff, but eventually I think he's going to get washed up, you know what I mean?

Jamie: Yeah, he will.

Mikey: [Imitating Harry]"Do you remember what I did for you!? Do you remember what I did?! I saved the world!"

Ben: Yeah, he's going to be a has-been.

Kevin: Hanging out in the Hog's Head.

Jamie: [laughs]

Mikey: [Imitating Harry] "Give me another Firewhiskey!"

Ben: He's going to become a has-been.

Jamie: He's going to hang out in bars. Yeah, exactly. He'll smoke sixty a day, hang out in all the poky bars, and say, "Oh, one day people respected me. Look at me now." I can see that.

Ben: Talking about the old days.

Jamie: I'm depressed now talking about that. The old days, yeah. Exactly.

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