MuggleCast EP8 Transcript (continued)



Spy on Spartz


Andrew: Well, that was a very in-depth discussion. Now it's time to get on with our show regulars that everyone has come to know and love. They really are the staple and assets of MuggleCast. Let's start off first with the one, the only, you can't get it anywhere else. [In really deep voice] It's "Spy on Spartz." Who has AIM open?

[Makes weird noise]

Jamie: Is it actually open? Let's all investigate.

Andrew: And this concludes this week's edition of "Spy on Spartz"! Emerson is not online and none of us want to pay long-distance to call to him!

Laura: I think you guys are getting a little obsessed.

Jamie: He could be invisible.

Andrew: What can I say Laura? I'm obsessed with the guy.



British Jokes of the Day


Andrew: Well this is part of the excitement because people will never know if we'll be able to "Spy on Spartz" or not. So tune in next week for another exciting edition. And before we move on to my new segment, it wouldn't be another episode of MuggleCast if we didn't have one of Jamie's "British Jokes of the Day".

Jamie: Okay, we have two "Jokes of the Day". One very, very small joke. A two-liner. And a slightly longer joke. Okay. The first one is a make or break joke. It will make people laugh or not.

What airlines do Vampires travel on? Okay. British Scareways!

[All Laugh]

Andrew: Oh, what a funny one. Jamie, you rule!

Jamie: This one is so funny, okay? Okay, ready? This one is so good. Okay? I'd just like to say before I say this, we don't mean any offense to Irishmen, Englishmen, or Scotsmen. This is just the format of the joke. We love Englishmen, Irishmen, and Scotsmen. Really. Okay, I'll go now.

There's an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman and they are being chased by a policeman. They see this old warehouse around, so they run into it. And inside there are three empty sacks on the floor. Okay? And each one of them jumps into a sack. And in comes the policeman and he sees these three bundles on the floor because it's a small sack and they fill up all the space. And he goes up to the first one and he kicks it. And the Englishman shouts out, "Woof, woof!" And the policeman thinks, "Oh, it's just a dog in there. It's fine." So, he goes over to the next sack and he kicks it and it goes, "Meow, meow!" And he thinks, "Oh, it's just an old cat in it." So he walks over to the third one and kicks it. And the Irishmen calls out, "Potatoes, potatoes!"

[All Laugh]

Andrew: I haven't heard that one before.

Eric: Isn't it a blonde joke? Yeah, it's a blonde joke. It's really neat. It's like cultural diffusion. Our jokes are traveling. Much like Japanese baseball is baseball but more loyal. Like our jokes are changing their format but are basically the same things and have the same punch lines!

Laura: I've heard it with blondes, brunettes, and redheads.

Jamie: Ah well.

Andrew: And as it made its royal voyage across the sea, it has turned into potatoes. [Laughs]

Jamie: Andrew, can I do one more?

Andrew: Sure, go ahead.

Jamie: All right. Okay. It's a knock-knock joke. So somebody is going to have to do it with me.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: Who wants to do it?

Andrew: Go ahead, Eric.

Jamie: Knock-knock.

Eric: Who's there?

Jamie: The Interrupting Cow.

Andrew: The Interrupting Co...

[Somebody Mooos]

Jamie: Okay. On top of that joke. Okay. I have a competition. Well, it's not really a competition, okay? On top of the there is a competition this week. If you change the word cow to say, rabbit, and you said: "The Interrupting Rabbit who?" And then you had to make a rabbit noise, what noise would you make? So can people send in voicemails with their best rabbit impressions? Thank you. [All Laugh] That's an awesome idea.

Andrew: Great! Our inbox is going to get flooded with "Rabbit, rabbit!"

[Laura Laughs]

Jamie: That's a great impression. That's a great idea. People will love that.

[All Laugh]



Listener Challenge of the Week


Andrew: Guys, I had this idea two seconds before the show. We're just going to try it one week. I don't care if you guys think it is lame. Jamie has his "British Joke of the Day". Emerson, even though he's not on the show [Laughs] has his own little segment. I would like to start "Andrew's Listener Challenge of the Week". I requested last week that I sure would have liked a fan site. And lo and behold I get about two billion fan sites. Every week I am going to pose to you guys a challenge. If you fulfill this challenge, I will give you a hug. Now, this week's challenge. I want you, yeah you! Yes, you! Right there. Yes, you! Okay, I want you to go out into your town. I want you to make signs that say "LISTEN TO MUGGLECAST!" And I want you to post them everywhere. I don't care. Post-it notes. Lunch bags. I don't care. Post it anywhere.

Laura: Take pictures!

Eric: That's what we need to do. We need a marketing consultant or funding to make T-shirts just for MuggleCast, much like our MuggleNet T-shirts only they definitely have to ship a heck of a lot faster. They have to say things like, "Yeah, maaan" or "I completely agree with you" or something along those lines. And they can have our pictures.

[Laura Laughs]

Andrew: Eric, what are you asking for?

Eric: I'm saying we need full publicity! We need T-shirts, we need bumper stickers, and we need coffee mugs.

Jamie: We have to have MuggleCast slogans.

Andrew: We want promotion and we don't have no money to do it. So I want you to go out there, put signs around your town that say, "LISTEN TO MUGGLECAST BECAUSE ANDREW TOLD ME TO TELL YOU!" Okay? So, DO IT!

Yeah. Great! So seriously you guys I want to see what people come up with. Oh, and here's the thing. After you put up signs. Take pictures. And then we'll make a page that has my weekly challenges. So do that, and send it to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Let's move on to everybody's favorite part of the show.

Eric: Unless they get long and boring!

Andrew: Yeah, one last reminder, guys. Stop sending us Book 6 questions. We're tired of them. Send in anything else besides Book 6. Okay, that's it. Now, let's get to the Voicemails.



Voicemails - Lily's Eyes


[Audio]: Hey MuggleCast! This Matt, and I just want to say you're doing a great job with the show. I listen religiously every week. I usually listen when I'm just hanging around and stuff. My question is this: Harry having his mother's eyes is supposed to play a major role in the story, in Harry Potter Book 7, but I don't really know how it's going to work out. Do you think you have some opinions on how this might play out? Thanks, guys!

Eric: No, no. Thanks for that non-Horcrux voicemail and, I like it. I just have a small thing to contribute because I want Laura to do more talking and I'm going to get a ton of hate mails saying that I talk way too much and Jamie and Laura not at all. So I'm just going to say maybe my section should be plugging my Caption Contest, but no, one of the captions just a few weeks ago on the Caption Contest. It had something to do with Lily and there were two characters. One asked the other one: "What was the big thing we found out about Lily in Book 6?" The other one replied: "That she was good at Potions?" With a question mark. And it was good because it really brought up what Matt just did too, which was in Book 6 we really didn't. What DID we find out about Lily in Book 6? Besides the fact that she was good at Potions? I really can't think of anything else that we found out about her. I mean, so he's right. How will that play a role? Jo put this emphasis on it so much earlier books in the books now. And how will that play a role? I have no clue!

Jamie: Okay. I think that's right. I think it's such an important topic, but I honestly don't know. This is one of the things. It was just like why Voldemort wanted to kill Harry before the 5th Book. I could not hazard a guess because I had no idea. And this is, I think obviously is absolutely fundamental to the series. But, I'm stuck whether it is his actual eyes that are going to play a role physically, or whether it's just a show that Lily is still inside him. That she's always going to be with him.

Laura: I'm with Jamie. I'm really not absolutely sure what the significance is, but I did read a very, very interesting editorial once. I believe it was on MuggleNet. About Harry's and Voldemort's eyes. Harry's eyes are green. Voldemort's eyes are red. Obviously, Harry is in Gryffindor, Voldemort is in Slytherin. I think thatís a very interesting idea, and I think it's a very important factor. I think it could have some kind of significance with symbolism and such.

Jamie: That's great. Yeah. Good vs. evil as well. Red has always been blood, death, all those kinds of things. Symbol of evil.

Eric:: Well yeah, symbolism, but just like Star Wars! All right?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: In Star Wars, the Imperials, the bad guys are green guys and the rebels are red! Or something.

Jamie: Yes. That's great.

Eric: It's like the complete opposite of what you'd expect. I'm talking about the laser thingies that their starships shoot out. Wait, star destroyers. Sorry. And X-Wings. I must be an insult to every Star Wars fan everywhere, but I am sorry. In the galaxy and I'm sorry! But that's my take because they use the laser colors opposite to what you think. Sorry.

Jamie: And do you think we can just promise, can we just promise to all fans that this will not turn into a Star Wars podcast? Okay?



Voicemails - Dumbledore's Army


[Audio]: Hi! This is Alisha from Ohio. I have a quick question. As sad as Dumbledore's death was, I found it equally as sad as when we imagine Neville and Luna as still clinging onto their coins from Dumbledore's Army. Did anybody else have the same reaction? Thanks!

Jamie: I did and I think it works on two levels. Them hanging on to their coins is a clear show of their commitment to Harry, them helping Harry, being with him right to the end. And of course that was shown when they went with him in Book 5 to the Ministry of Magic. And of course that is going to continue into Book 7. You know, they hang on to the coins so they're always with Harry. But also, it can work on a physical level. They hang on to the coins and everyone thinks it's just because they're going to stick with Harry to the end, but it's because Dumbledore's Army is still going on in his name, in his spirit. And straight into Book 7, there's going to be a Dumbledore's Army just like there is an Order of the Phoenix. Or it could be absorbed into the Order of the Phoenix, just have a bigger Order of the Phoenix. But I think Dumbledore's Army is here to stay or at least the people from it, and they're always going to be loyal to Harry all the way to the very end whether Harry dies or not. Which of course he won't! He will not die! I couldn't take it if he died, as I'm sure everyone else couldn't.

Eric: Well, then cause Voldemort would be... Well my biggest problem with Harry dying is that, well, will then Voldemort be able to go on and live forever? And so...yeah. But one thing I want to bring up is that it was very, very heartwarming and sensitive to see and hear that Luna and Neville held on to their coins, and they said that it was like having friends. It was very sympathetic and everything. Emotion is great, but it presented a very large hazard because of Draco! He knew about the coins or he found out about them and he knew how they worked! On the North Tower he tells Dumbledore that is how he communicated with Madam Rosmerta. So even though it's emotional and fantastic for Neville and Luna to have hung on to the coins, it also presents a very big danger because then they can be misused and things. And it is possible Draco knew about the coins some other way, but it's really similar to the list of passwords that Crookshanks got from Neville for Sirius in Book 3. Keeping them presents hazards. Another thing I think that is cool, is that Draco's using the idea from the good side to do bad and it's a kind of a good testimony to great ideas turned wrong. Laura, what do you think?

Laura: I had a very girly reaction to it. Apart from spending the last couple of chapters of the book absolutely bawling, I let off a huge "Awww" whenever I found out they had kept their coins because it specifically mentions that they were the only two that did. And I can't imagine the kind of slap in the face it would be, to be so loyal to hold on to those coins for Dumbledore's Army and then to find out that Dumbledore had been killed in such an undignified way. Someone like Dumbledore you expect to die very honorably, but he was blasted off the top of the Astronomy Tower. I just, I can't imagine that feeling. I think it's also very important sentimentally to show their loyalty to Harry.

Eric: No, but Sirius! Sirius Black's death too, Laura! You expected Sirius to have a valiant and noble death, and there he was, he got hit with a spell and fell backwards through curtains! But that's another point that Jo's trying to make, I think. And I strongly subscribe to what Jamie said back in Episode 3 that on the North Tower where he said that Dumbledore's getting blasted outward was due to the tremendous release of power. I know I bring that up in every cast, but it's really truly...it might be rather insignificant, but at the same time Dumbledore had his fair share of fights in the books. It's not that the DA cause has shattered either since he died so pathetically. It's something real important that one should realize is the DA's cause isn't null or void just because he got himself blown off a tower.

Jamie: It was a noble way to go though, wasn't it? Especially if Snape is still working for the good side. It was noble. He died to save Harry because he petrified him using his wand. Snape blasting Dumbledore off the thing was Snape purging him of all emotion. The blast symbolized all the Dumbledore had done. If the Avada Kedavra curse had just killed him outright, if he just fell down, I don't think it would be as special. The fact that he was blasted all the way over into the ground of Hogwarts, of the place where he reigned over, just shows that his commitment throughout the entire series had come to an end and that he's such a special character.

Eric: My God! Excellent, excellent insight Jamie. Good. Yeah, no problem. The only thing I was getting at was one of the best things the DA could ask for I think would be for the people or person they dedicate their group to really, truly, I think respect them and admire them and, more than normal, Dumbledore does that. Like I'm sure with Emerson fan sites, Emerson appreciates them all, but Dumbledore had a true complete love, attention, and patience with his followers and with Harry and with the DA. I think he really, really showed it to them. He gave them his respect and let them fend off the Death Eaters before he and the Order could arrive. Also in Book 5, in his office, he made the point that it was Dumbledore's Army and not Harry's Army. So he truly respected and put a lot of faith and loyalty into this group of followers. And I think that's very unique and very, just admirable. For any group of the sort. So even if he does get killed rather quickly or pointlessly or without putting up a not so embarrassing fight...

Jamie: I think that's a great point. You can really compare that to Voldemort because you said Dumbledore had complete faith in all of his followers, whereas Voldemort is scared of his followers. If one of them turns away from him, he's kills them. So he's scared of being reliant on somebody else, whereas Dumbledore isn't. He likes to trust people. He likes to be friendly. He likes to be...he doesn't like to be in control like Voldemort does, and I think that was what was so great about Dumbledore and why Dumbledore's Army can still go on even after he's gone. As Elton John said: "His candle burned out..." Well he didn't actually say that about Dumbledore, but "his candle burned out long before his legend ever did." First it was Marilyn Monroe, then it was Princess Diana, now it's Dumbledore.

Andrew: [Laughs] Jamie, stop with all these "British Jokes of the Day".



Voicemails - Hogwarts: Year 7?


[Audio]: Hi MuggleCast! My name is Sara. I listen to MuggleCast from Maryland. Books 1-6 all take place over the course of a school year, starting with the summer and ending at the Hogwarts Express, but Book 7 doesn't have this restriction. Harry probably won't be going back to Hogwarts. And the work of destroying all the Horcruxes can take years. Maybe even following the main characters into adulthood. What length of time do you think Book 7 will cover?

Andrew: Well, I think this is an interesting question because we're looking at the Final Book in the series and we're expecting it to be so, well, I don't know if it's going to differ a lot from the other books. But you would think the way Book 6 ended up that this is going to be one of the most unique books in terms of what Harry has to do. In that case, yes, I think it is possible for the book to span over a school year, but I mean if you think about the past books have started in the summer. So therefore yes, I think it is very possible this book can run over the end of the school year. Now, how long? Hey, it's the last book - anything can happen. I can almost see, I hate to say it. I can almost see this running across the summer and theoretically into the next year of Hogwarts although there probably wouldn't be any school.

Jamie: Jo did say that there would be a book for every year at Hogwarts, but I don't know if she meant they'd be at school for that year or if it would just tie in timeframe-wise with when they'd be at school. But, I really, I can't see them going back to school. How can they go to lessons when the fate of the world rests at their feet? Especially Harry, it is such a huge responsibility. He can't juggle period three, killing Voldemort, and then Potions afterwards.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Well he's done it before, he's done it before, Jamie. I mean, you really can't pretend that the whole thing with the Sorcerer's Stone and everything wasn't a big deal in itself. And that was way back when Harry was eleven. I mean in a way it was a far less difficult task to balance school with it because Voldemort was at school, and wasn't really on the loose and he was confined to Quirrell. But at the same time what I wanted to say was that she's managed to fit all of her books so far into the time of a year. And in Book 4, with the Triwizard Tournament and the Quidditch World Cup, that was FREAKING huge, all right? And everything she did was just so much more elaborate than we are used to and longer and better than any previous Quidditch match, but she still fit it into a year. And I think what we're seeing and what we saw with Book 5 - with the hearing and the attack and everything - no matter how much stuff she has to fit in a book, or how complex it is, she really does seem to be able to make it run like a year long, rather from summer to summer. So, yeah. I just have two very final thoughts. I promise on this, absolutely. Okay, if Voldemort is killed or vanquished or whatever in Book 7, is it possible that it might happen early on in the book? Could it happen that summer yet, could it happen at the end of summer and then Harry would have to go and search for Snape the rest of the year and get rid of all the other Death Eaters? Assuming Snape is bad, which I don't think so. I mean is it even plausible that the book series might not end with Voldemort's death guys? Do you think so? Yeah, it's unlikely since there's so much stuff that Harry has to do yet to find all the Horcruxes. And he doesn't know what the heck he's doing. I'm guessing the death of Voldemort will be one of the last chapters, but is it possible he doesn't have to die, or that it isn't the very end?

Andrew: Yeah. That would be an interesting read because it would be so unexpected, and J.K. Rowling always wants to surprise us. So, if she did this then we could have the rest of the book to fill the rest of the gaps in. There would be plenty of time. I like that. J.K. Rowling, do that!

Laura: Okay. I think it will probably be close to the same length as the rest of the stories in the series. I really can't see it spanning over ten or twenty years. I think it might be a little longer, it might be a little shorter. I don't really think though, it's the time span that counts. I think it's actually how much time she spends on the story because as we've seen, she makes the summer shorter and longer in different books. I'm not really all that convinced that the timeframe is all that matters.

Andrew: Yeah, great point. Quality over quantity.

Eric: I think that Book 7 probably will last more then a year. All I was saying was that she's adapted to fit things into a year, but unless Harry finally accepts help and accepts his friends and they all have prior knowledge to the Horcruxes' whereabouts, it's highly unlikely that it will all happen in a year or especially that summer. The final thing I had to say was in the interview I think, between Melissa and Emerson and JKR, JKR said that there would be a chapter devoted to the survivors' futures. So that kind of makes me think that they won't get into it too much into the future and she'll more focus on the present and save it all for that chapter. So I think I'd kind of be fine with Book 7 lasting three to five years in present-time, and that would be good because anything after that will be saved for that extra chapter explaining the future of all the survivors. So I think she's pretty much going to be rooted in the present.

Jamie: Yeah, but Eric. Eric. Eric. But the thing is the Horcruxes could be all over the world. All over the country. Is it actually feasible for Harry to find all these Horcruxes in one year? I've been thinking. You know that everyone thinks that the series has to finish with either Voldemort killing Harry or Harry killing Voldemort? Dumbledore says that it has to end with one of those things, but it doesn't mean the books have to end like that. And I just don't see how Harry can find them all in one year, or just a bit longer, or a bit shorter and then kill Voldemort. I don't know how that can happen in one book.

Andrew: I just think we should get Jo on the show.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: We can ask her all the questions in the world. And then we'd never have to do another show again. We only do this because you guys have questions.

Jamie: Yeah, that's true.

Andrew: So that way everything will get answered.

Eric: Well don't get me wrong. I'd LOVE to have her on. She saluted me, that woman. I love her to death.

Andrew: I'm just joking.

Eric: But, no. But what I'm saying is she wouldn't have to answer any questions! What would she do? Okay, I'll tell you exactly how this would work. If JKR's on MuggleCast. She's going to sit there and we're going to ask her the world's best questions. And she's going to sit there and give us the Jo Rowling smile, and the Jo Rowling look, and that Jo Rowling unfairness. And then she'd open her mouth and she'd give us that Jo Rowling tone of voice and she'd say, she would say in that Jo Rowling authentic brilliance, "The answer is in the books," or that "We shall see.." [Laughs] You know? She doesn't have to answer any questions even if we have her on. I'd love to have her on, but it would really be a waste because she's so happy about what she's got coming that we really can't know about until it happens. That's all I had to say.



Show Close


Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: Yeah, that's all she wrote. So thanks everyone for listening. We do really appreciate everyone downloading and subscribing. We hope you've enjoyed this week's show. Don't forget to send in your rabbit imitations to jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Send in your Listen Challenge of the Week Photos to challenge at staff dot mugglenet dot com. We can't wait to see those. And also don't forget that our Poll is open right now. Make sure you vote on what you think is the funniest way Voldemort should die. Once again, I'm Andrew Sims.

Jamie: I'm Jamie Lawrence.

Eric: All right. I'm Eric Scull.

Laura: I'm Laura Thompson.

Andrew: Ben Schoen will join us next week, and Kevin Steck was supposed to be on this show, but he had a few problems getting back in time. Also, we'd like to thank Laura for making, for pioneering the future of MuggleCast, MuggleNet girls showing up on MuggleCast.

Laura: [Laughs] Yes, thank you for having me. Thank you for having me.

Andrew: We'll see you all next week!



Bloopers


Jamie: Do you find that the majority of people present one character in a certain way or do you find that they are like a small niche in the market, say, who feel that one character should be presented in one way or different way? And are they cut off from the rest of the Potter Community? Wow, that was really good! How do I come up with this *BEEP*?

Laura: Well we got a lot of...there...

[All Laugh]

Eric: Jamie, your own question was really good!

[All Laugh]

Eric: Oh Jamie, you're British. Everything you say is worth hearing.

Jamie: Cheers, Eric.

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Posted by: Micah