Listener Rebuttal: Rowena's Wand and the Sky

Andrew: Okay, the next rebuttal, and Greg you can feel free, I know you might not have had any ideas for that one, but you can feel free to butt in anytime.

Greg: Alrighty.

Andrew: The next one comes from Logan, 19 of Arizona. He writes:

I may be completely off my rocker here, but I was just listening to Episode 94 and you guys kept mentioning the sky. This made me immediately think of Rowena Ravenclaw's wand (according to the [mispronounces] Tarot, wand equals sky).

Jamie: [pronounces correctly] Tarot, tarot.

Andrew: [mispronounces] Tarot?

Jamie: Tarot card.

Greg: That's - that's horrible.

Jamie: Actually, that is...

Andrew: I always say [misprounouces to rhyme with "carrot"] tarot.

Greg: Your pronunciation is [mispronouncing to emphasize his name in the word] egregious.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: "According to the [mispronounces] tarot..."

Jamie: No, tarot. Tarot.

Andrew: [mispronounces] Tarot.

Jamie: Say it t-a-r-r-o-w. Tarot.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

According to the Tarot, wand equals sky. This somehow led me to my next, more feeble, theory of the different bits of the symbol representing the founder's objects/Horcruxes. The vertical line representing either Ravenclaw's wand or Gryffindor's sword, the circle representing Slytherin's locket, and the triangle representing Hufflepuff's cup - the most feeble of all: the triangle is similar to the symbol used in 'The DaVinci Code' for the chalice or cup. Again, I'm probably completely off course on this one. Thanks!

Jamie: That's really good, and...

Andrew: That is pretty good.

Jamie: ...the Dan Brown reference is brilliant.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Because, you know, we love these...

Andrew: But I've never read the books.

Jamie: Well, you should, you should.

Andrew: I know I should.

Jamie: I love these, you know, jewel, sort of, connection things. You know, anything; you can make a connection between anything. It's really good, though.

Andrew: Yes.

Jamie: I like...

Andrew: It's our "Make the Connection" section.

Jamie: Exactly, which is coming up soon.

Greg: I do have to wonder...

Jamie: Sorry, Greg. Go on.

Greg: I do have to wonder what religion is going to play in the seventh book.

Andrew: Yeah.

Greg: Because "hallows"...

Jamie: Oh, yeah, completely.

Greg: Deathly Hallows, is kind of, it's a direct contradiction of words.

Andrew: Right.

Greg: So, it makes you wonder.

Andrew: And that's just going to start more debate.

Greg: I only thought of that because of the DaVinci Code reference.

Andrew: Yeah. That's kind of scary. I mean, Laura Mallory could jump all over that if religion really does get involved.

Jamie: She could, she could. And she'd get shot down again.

Greg: Why?

Andrew: Yeah.

Greg: Because she's so - she's funny. She makes my day.

Andrew: You know, Greg, we've tried to call her many times during the show, but no luck, no luck.

Jamie: Yeah. It must be - what it's like - it must be running into a brick wall, getting knocked down, fainting, then going back and just, doing the entire thing over and over again.

Greg: Doing it again.

Jamie: Yeah. Because she's been...

Greg: You mean like a bird just running into a window...

Jamie: Precisely, yeah. It just doesn't learn.

Greg: ...over and over and over again.

Jamie: It doesn't learn. And I love comparing her to all manner of lesser animals, because, you know...

[Greg and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: ...I think it's a viable reference, yeah, to be honest. Back to his theory, though. I think it's also good, because, you know, the founders of Hogwarts were a group, and whatever they turned it in to be, they started out as a cohesive group. So, you know, this whole, one symbol representing everything that they stood for, I think is, the kind of thing Jo would go in for as well. So, I think that's very good, very interesting theory.

Andrew: I agree. All right, so we'll move along now to - oh, Micah, you want to take over?

The Road to Deathly Hallows: Where are the Horcruxes?

Micah: Sure. This week we're continuing the road to Deathly Hallows, taking one of the questions, or, actually two, that Scholastic puts out as we get closer to the release of the seventh book. And this question, that we were supposed to get to last week that we didn't, was "Where are the Horcruxes?"

Andrew: Yes.

Diagon Alley

Micah: So, we're going to spend a little bit of time discussing where the remaining Horcruxes could be located. And the first option that's giving is Diagon Alley. What do you guys think?

Jamie: I agree, move on.

Greg: No way, too obvious.

Andrew: It is too obvious

Jamie: Not only that, but it's too open.

Micah: Why not? What about...

Greg: It's in a shop. It's being sold.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. You can go and buy it. How much is that Horcrux in the window?

Greg: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Well, it could be...

Jamie: No, but, the thing is...

Andrew: ...buried somewhere. I mean, obviously, it's not for display. I mean, that's...

Greg: Yeah, but Voldemort really took care of where he - I think he really took care of where he put his Horcruxes so only he knew where they were.

Jamie: Precisely. It's...

Greg: They wouldn't be somewhere where someone could just stumble upon it and say "Oh, that's cool."

Jamie: Exactly, exactly. And he likes security, you know, peace of mind and stuff like that, and that doesn't come from having your Horcrux where people walk through every day. "Mommy, Mommy, I found a Horcrux." "Oh that's nice, dear." Picks it up and puts it in a bag, you know?

Micah: Well, what's to say that you'd know, though?

Greg: That statement kind of limits out these other ones that we have listed here.

Jamie: Oh, but these are kind of more secretive, and I mean...

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: ...there's nothing about Diagon Alley that sort of pertains to Voldemort. It isn't an evil place, you know, the residents there aren't sort of with him, completely. I mean, I could understand Knockturn Alley a bit more, but...

Micah: Well, that was one thing I was going to bring up: what about Borgin and Burkes? Since we know that he worked there at one point.

Jamie: But he doesn't like trusting people, and would - he'd be entrusting another person, and someone as oily as and thieving as, and you know, non-caring as Borgin, I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, and that probably isn't that far.

Micah: But who's to say that they would know? Say there's a Horcrux in Diagon Alley. I mean, we talked for a very long time on a couple of episodes about Ollivander's shop and the wand that was sitting on the cushion in the window.

Jamie: But, it would be all very clever...

Micah: He wouldn't know necessary

Jamie: No, but it would be all very clever if that was the whole mystery. You know, Voldemort was so clever, he hid it in the one place that people wouldn't look, which is something out in the open, but that's...

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: But that only works if it works, if that makes sense. He wouldn't risk people thinking, "Oh, that guy's really clever," just on the off chance that people didn't suspect it. And also, the only important thing to him is retaining his immortality, so "show" and "brilliance" sort of come second to that and - you say why couldn't he hide in Diagon Alley? Because, you know, it's a public place, so to get there, he would have to go back and people would see him there and there'll be people there all the time; it's a public place. People could find it, whereas if you bury it down 1,000 feet down a hole in the ground, it's a private place. If it's, say, in the middle of a field, you know, people won't be walking around there. And it just seems like a foolish choice for someone who values his immortality above anything.

Hogsmeade

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. I guess that rules out Hogsmeade then.

Jamie: Oh, well...

Andrew: Because what's the difference?

Jamie: I think it's because - I agree, there's not much difference, but I think it's a historic town, Hogsmeade, and it must hold secrets - not only magical secrets that Diagon Alley obviously does hold - but it also must hold secrets and history that it could potentially make it easier for someone to hide it there if they wanted to, because I've always thought that places with history and intrigue that hold secrets - people who are more powerful that other wizards can always use that to their own advantage because intelligence is obviously a valuable tool when it comes to the magical world. So, a place like Hogsmeade where there we goblin rebellions and stuff like that - there must be stuff left over that Voldemort can possibly use. I'm not sure what though.

Micah: But, again, what about your point of going back there?

Jamie: That people would walk through? Exactly.

Micah: Wouldn't he be in danger?

Jamie: He would, of course, yeah.

Micah: Yeah.

Jamie: So it's unlikely, I think. Very unlikely.

Gringotts

Greg: Would you ever think that maybe one could be in Gringotts?

Jamie: Yes, I do. But...

Greg: Because with the goblins...

Andrew: Absolutely. We talked about that.

Jamie: But the problem is the security that keeps people away from it also keeps it in and keeps Voldemort out, so I'm sure they have a lockdown system.

Greg: Yes, but if Voldemort - if the goblins ended up on Voldemort's side...

Jamie: But it's trust again. If they turned - if Dumbledore offered them a height charm or something to make them bigger and...

[Greg chuckles]

Jamie: ...this is beyond their wildest dreams and they moved away from Voldemort, he wouldn't be able to access his part of his soul and it's so important to him. Trust doesn't even come into the equation, so it has to be somewhere where he doesn't need anybody's help to get at it or in need to safeguard it.

Micah: Would they let him into his vault, though? If he went there? I mean...

Jamie: I don't know.

Micah: ...say the goblins are indifferent, but they know who he is. It's not like they're just going to say, "Oh yeah, sure," you know, 'come open the vault.'"

Jamie: Yeah, well, exactly. [laughs] Well, they might do it. If he's a Platinum Plus Key holder or something like that, you know?

[Greg and Andrew laughs]

Jamie: One more Dan Brown reference. When I go to the Depository Bank of Zurich and use the Gold Key account. [pauses] Sorry, yep, went off on a tangent there. Someone please step in.

Andrew: Well, I don't think - didn't we have a discussion about this a few weeks ago? I feel like we did, but I wasn't on it.

Jamie: [laughs] That's pretty impressive, then.

Micah: We discussed - didn't we discuss it being whose vault it would be that was displayed on the Deluxe Edition? Not the Deluxe Edition, but the Children's Edition.

Andrew: Oh, the UK, yeah.

Micah: But I almost see Voldemort as somebody who would make it a Horcrux and then have it locked sort of unexpectedly to the person who it belonged to.

Jamie: Exactly. And he wouldn't make it something that looks like treasure. Two references, Pirates of the Caribbean when Jack Sparrow, says, "Not all treasure is silver and gold," you know? So, what most people see as treasure, Voldemort wouldn't want to make his Horcrux that. Because then everyone would think it was valuable. Second reference: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when Indiana Jones has to pick up the Holy Grail and the previous guy picks up the biggest jewel-encrusted trophy, you know, and he chooses foolishly and he gets turned into a skeleton and dust.

Andrew: Mhm.

Jamie: Then Indiana Jones picks up the wooden, old, decrepit cup on the floor and it's the Holy Grail, so it just goes to prove that what people think is valuable, it doesn't work the same way for everyone, and Voldemort doesn't care what it is as long as it's safe. You know, he has an extremely meticulous mind and he'd rather entrust it to - I mean, obviously, he likes trophies, the things that are valuable to him, but I don't think they're more important than the safety of his Horcruxes. Like, I don't know, if he thought Rowena Ravenclaw's item was not safe, I think he'd rather use something that was safe but meant less to him, but I don't know. I could be wrong on that. What do you guys think?

Hogwarts

Andrew: That's a good point. What about Hogwarts?

Jamie: He obviously feels a sentimental attachment to it.

Andrew: He does, and Harry said at the end of Book 6 that he wouldn't be going back unless he had to, so I think that would be the perfect way to get back to Hogwarts, and not just that, but Hogwarts is where Tom Riddle was a student.

Jamie: Created, basically. Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, it was where he was created. He should have a part of his soul there. [laughs]

Jamie: But - sorry. Go on.

Andrew: And there are so many places where he could hide a Horcrux in the castle that - who knows? There could be another Chamber of Secrets or something similar.

Greg: Well, if he made a Horcrux out of Moaning Myrtle...

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Greg: ...it could be in Hogwarts, and there are many passageways.

Jamie: He couldn't grab her, though. He'd try to, and his hands would just go straight through her. So, he'd have to...

Greg: No. I'm not saying that Moaning Myrtle is a Horcrux. I'm saying that maybe he created one off of her...

Jamie: Oh, I see what you mean. Sorry.

Greg: ... thus being able to hide it within Hogwarts.

Jamie: In Hogwarts, yeah.

Greg: In the Slytherin common room, or...

Micah: I think there are two possibilities.

Jamie: The thing that I would say - oh, sorry. Go on.

Micah: There are two possibilities at Hogwarts that I like. One is the Trophy Room, and the other is the Room of Requirement.

Jamie: Yes. Definitely.

Andrew: Hmmm.

Micah: The second one more so, because a couple of people again have e-mailed in with the whole goblin-made tiara that the Weasleys talk about at the end of Half-Blood Prince, about how Fleur's going to wear it during the wedding, and I guess it comes up a couple times during the series, and there is actually a tiara that's in the Room of Requirement when Harry goes to hide Snape's potion book.

Jamie: See, that's interesting.

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: Oooh.

Greg: That would be funny if to retrieve his soul, he had to wear it.

[Andrew, Jamie, and Greg laugh]

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs again]

Jamie: I was going to say about Hogwarts is that it's possibly the place on earth that is filled with the most secrets.

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: And the problem with places that hold a lot of secrets is that there's always the possibility that there's someone that knows more of the secrets than you do, and Tom Riddle - Voldemort only ever feared Dumbledore, and considering Dumbledore's attachment to Hogwarts and how clever and powerful he is both in terms of intelligence and magic, I think that Tom Riddle would always have a thing in his head that thought, "Well, perhaps Dumbledore knew all along what I was doing, and even if he didn't, could he access it," and you know, things like that, and also about the Room of Requirement: I think it's an awesome place to hide it, but I was just thinking about the name "Room of Requirement," and this is kind of off on a tangent as well, but if you think about the name, it isn't about what you want. It's what you are required to do, you know, "Room of Requirement." What do you need to help you do what you're required to do? The only type of requirement that I can think of is a moral obligation, because I can't think of any other reason why you would be required to do something. So, like, Harry created the DA, you know, to fight evil, so perhaps that's a moral obligation...

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: ...but he couldn't get to Malfoy's thing. Because perhaps Malfoy had to do that to save his family. So...

Micah: How do you explain Dumbledore needing to go to the bathroom? [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Well, it would be pretty embarrassing if he weed himself...

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: ...and I don't think that fate deals that kind of dirty hand, so - no pun intended. So...

Andrew: That's what I was just going to say. I mean, ultimately, you could spin anything to be "required."

Jamie: No. No, no, because...

Andrew: I think you could, and Dumbledore having to use the bathroom is a perfect example.

Jamie: Not if the room is - has its own mind, and makes it's own judgments.

Andrew: Well, that's the one thing. However, how could - I mean, Dumbledore [laughs], you know, I don't want to keep going back to that example, but what is it that he used to relieve himself?

Micah: Chamber pots.

Jamie: A chamber pot.

Andrew: Chamber pots.

Jamie: Well, he didn't actually use that, but he went in there, and it was filled with chamber pots, but it's... [scoffs] I just don't think you can use it for whatever you want. That would be ridiculous, and Harry couldn't get to the place that Dralcoy - Draco Malfoy went to, and Malfoy could say, his requirement could be, "Well, I need a room that no one could enter, ever," and Harry's could be, "I specifically need a room that Draco Malfoy has been into, even if he said that no one could enter it ever." So, what...

Andrew: Wouldn't it have to justify it as well?

Jamie: Wouldn't - well, no, but I mean, what's more important? The room obviously has to make its own judgments, which also means that it must judge what people require and what they don't require. So, I think again that that's a trust issue. How could Voldemort trust it to something he know exactly how it works. And he would be falling foul to his own game. He uses things with brains to trap and con people, and I don't think he'd want to be a victim of his own determination and intelligence.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: I've also always wondered though if that was Dumbledore's just way of planting the seed in Harry's head that the room existed.

Jamie: That's - yeah. That's also very true.

Micah: Not necessarily that...

Andrew: By doing what?

Micah: Not necessarily that he needed the room to use for chamber pots, but that he was just making Harry aware of the fact that the room existed, and that was kind of his story behind it.

Death Eaters

Andrew: Oh, okay. All right, well moving down our list here, only with Death Eaters. I don't think they're vulnerable, are they?

Jamie: They...

Greg: I doubt it. After what happened with Lucius and the diary, I doubt Voldemort would entrust a Horcrux to any other Death Eaters.

Jamie: Amen.

Andrew: Yep.

Jamie: And also, again, it comes down to the trust issue. They aren't his friends, and...

Andrew: But he does rely on them.

Jamie: ...even with...

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: No, he doesn't, though. He keeps them – it's – you know, he's a dictator, basically. He keeps them there out of fear. I'm sure most of them would want to go away. They're terrified when they're around him. And...

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: ...A) he can't trust them, because trusting people – it's something Voldemort doesn't do. And, also, they aren't his friends, at all. He consistently makes this clear. And Dumbledore always says, he liked to do everything alone. He like to work alone, he like to act alone, he liked to do what he was doing alone, so he wouldn't want people helping him along the path to immortality. A) because they'd know what he was doing, and B) because they were holding a fragment of his soul.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: If you could split your soul, how many people in this world would you entrust it to? Because I bet the list would be exceptionally thin.

Andrew: It wouldn't be seven people. [laughs]

Jamie: It wouldn't be seven people, no.

Andrew: [laughs] Sorry guys.

Jamie: I'd entrust it to my cat.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Greg: Here, Fluffy, hold my soul for a while.

[Andrew, Jamie and Greg laugh]

Jamie: And don't eat it.

Godric's Hollow

Andrew: Okay, then we also have Godric's Hollow, which seems to be a very popular choice because everyone seems to think that Harry needs to go back to Godric's Hollow to - for some specific reason, and Godric's Hollow would be a great place to hide a Horcrux, because, after all, that is where Harry's parents were killed.

Greg: Well, the question of that is, is if it's still a functioning...

Andrew: Town.

Greg: ...town, like Hogsmeade is.

Andrew: Well whether it is or not. Even if it's not functioning, anymore, and Voldemort – are you talking about when he left the Horcrux there?

Greg: Well, yeah, I'm saying if it's something like Hogsmeade, that our same theory would work for the – that worked for Hogsmeade would work for that, but if it's a decrepit place, now, then it would change that quite a bit.

Andrew: Yeah. That's a good point. Micah, what do you think?

Micah: Godric's Hollow? I don't know.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: It seems like a weak place to me. And the reason why I say that is because unless there was an accidental Horcrux that was created, which a lot of people theorize was Harry, I don't really see a need to put a Horcrux in Godric's Hollow. I think Voldemort went there, sort of as a one time thing, to kill the Potters, and having one there would really serve no purpose.

Andrew: Yeah.

Greg: I think it's probably too convenient – that Harry's going there, anyway, and he's going to, what? Step on a Horcrux and go, "Oh, wait! Oh, what's that?"

Andrew: Yeah.

Greg: "Oh, it's a soul!"

Jamie: Exactly, yeah.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Well, say the town is intact; would it be in the Potters' old home?

Jamie: But you say "it" like it's just...

Andrew: The Horcrux.

Jamie: ...there'll be a piece of soul, as Greg says, just floating there. He needs to – you can't make Godric's Hollow a Horcrux, so he'd have to obviously put an object in there – into Godric's Hollow. And I can't think of...

Greg: But other than the Potters dying...

Jamie: I just don't know what...

Greg: ...what is special about that? What would be special about that before...

Micah: Right.

Greg: ...he killed them?

Andrew: I guess.

Micah: That's my point, yeah.

Jamie: But does he have to plan these Horcrux makings? Because Slughorn says that there's a spell you use to encase the torn portion of soul into an object, you know? But do you have to use that spell immediately? So would – so, say when he made his locket Horcrux, did he have to have it there with him? Did he have to use the spell immediately, and then did it go straight into the locket? Or could he save up his soul, and then later on –after dinner, after he's watched American Idol...

[Greg laughs]

Jamie: ...he can then put it into a – into his soul when he's ready for it. Or, sorry – into an object when he's ready, or does it have to be straight away? Because if it has to be straight away, then he obviously went there prepared.

Andrew: I think it has to be straight away. We talked about this – didn't we? It has to be straight away, because otherwise...

Jamie: Well, then...

Andrew: ...it disappears – the soul.

Greg: This is random, but I'd love to see Voldemort voting for Sanjaya.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Thank you, Greg. Greg, you're awesome. You're random. You're awesome.

Jamie: So, I don't know. Godric's Hollow just seems like – obviously – Dumbledore said that he reserved Horcruxes for extremely significant deaths, so Harry – after hearing the prophecy, Harry must have been the most significant death ever, so he obviously went there with the intention of making a Horcrux. If, as we said, you have to do it straight away, then he went there with the intention of making a Horcrux. So, if he was reserving Harry's death for a Horcrux, then James or Lily couldn't have been used to make them. So, it just seems unlikely that – the only Horcrux I think he could have made then, and the only possible explanation is the "Harry is a Horcrux" theory, because he obviously couldn't have split his soul and then done it...

Greg: Yeah.

Jamie: ...because the curse rebounded. So, I think the only Horcrux that could have possibly come out of Godric's Hollow was Harry, if indeed he is a Horcrux, though. That's why I just don't think there could be one in Godric's Hollow.

Micah: We don't know anybody else, either, that lived there that he would have killed that would have been of any significance...

Jamie: No.

Micah: ...to create a Horcrux out of.

Jamie: I don't think so.

Micah: Just because it's called Godric's Hollow, doesn't mean that there's...

Jamie: Well, that's the big...

Micah: ...a Horcrux there.

Jamie: That's the, sort of, $900,000 question. It isn't as big as the one million one, but it's pretty big.

Micah: Yeah, because we don't even know...

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: ...is it related to Godric Gryffindor?

Jamie: We don't know, do we?

Andrew: We don't.

Micah: It would be a pretty smart assumption, but you know what happens when you assume.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: It would be a smart assumption, but, you know, it shouldn't be – it's almost too obvious.

Jamie: It is, yeah.

Andrew: Like, Jamie, there's a Camden here in New Jersey...

Jamie: There is.

Andrew: ...and there's a Camden here in England. Er, there in England.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Not there, because you are actually here, but...

Jamie: Yeah. I know what you mean.

Andrew: ...out there in England. [laughs] But...

Micah: In the basement.

Andrew: So, I mean, they – where was I going with that? I mean, they don't both have the same meaning.

Jamie: Precisely. No

Andrew: You know? Take it literally. There could be another Godric's Hollow, for all we know.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Is there a real Godric's Hollow? There might be.

Jamie: No, I don't think so. It doesn't sound right.

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: But it just seems so unlikely, it's unbelievable.

Ministry of Magic

Andrew: Yeah. Well, moving down the list here, Ministry of Magic.

Jamie: That's – that's...

Andrew: I don't know about this one.

Jamie: That's like putting your biggest secret and weapon inside your enemy's hands. It's ridiculous.

Greg: Well, it would be like...

Jamie: Why would you do that?

Greg: It would be like Saddam trying to hide out in the White House. It just doesn't make sense.

Jamie: Exactly. And – yeah.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. In the Oval Office, underneath Bush's desk.

Andrew: I don't know. It is sort of different, because it's not a human, it's an item that could be hidden in the Ministry of Magic.

Jamie: But why would you do that? How could he go in and get it? You know, Dumbledore said that he took a huge risk going into the Ministry on – you know, Order of the Phoenix, when they were battling there. He can't just walk into the Ministry. He's a ridiculously powerful wizard, but with 60 Aurors there, he won't stand a chance, you know?

Andrew: What if the Horcrux was the Fountain of Magical Brethren?

Jamie: But, that's like the wand in Ollivander's. It would be clever if it worked out, but he wouldn't risk it being clever.

Micah: And who would he have killed...

Jamie: It's just...

Micah: ...in the Ministry of Magic...

Jamie: ...you know...

Micah: ...that he would have been able to make the Fountain...

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: ...a Horcrux?

Andrew: That's a good point. That's a good point.

Jamie: It just seems so unlikely that you'd put your biggest weapon and secret inside your enemy's back pocket.

Andrew: Mhm. You're right, it's too – it's a little too simple for J.K. Rowling.

Jamie: No, but, Andrew, I know exactly what you mean, but only if it's a weapon. If you hide – it's like if you. if you hide a gun on Air Force One, the people can find it, but then it's in the prime location for if you want to hijack it. So – but it doesn't work with a Horcrux, because a Horcrux isn't an AK-47.

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: So, it doesn't work like that, but...

Azkaban

Andrew: Well, next up, Azkaban. Immediately, I'm starting to think, "Who would he have killed..."

Jamie: Well, exactly, and...

Andrew: "...in Azkaban?" [laughs] That's a good question to bring up about all of these, before even start really discussing them...

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: ...because that's a great point.

Jamie: And Azkaban – you know, the dementors – who said that they're his natural allies? Dumbledore, I think. No, no, sorry. It was Voldemort. I think in Goblet of Fire. "We will recall the banished giants, the dementors are our natural allies." Or something like that. But, that makes sense. If he could walk unaided, freely, into Azkaban, then it's an extremely secure place. No one wants to go in, and only Dumbledore, probably, can break out easily, apart from Sirius, obviously, but he was the exception, rather than the rule. So, Azkaban would be a very safe place. But, again, it's risky, because he's allying himself with somebody.

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: Or rather, a race of people – the dementors. And although they're naturally evil, and will side with him, you know?

Micah: And there's a small setback to that, also, in that dementors like to suck souls out of things. So...

Jamie: [laughs] Ah, exactly. Yeah.

Micah: ...his Horcrux would be in a little bit of trouble, I think.

Jamie: It's like a buffet. They go to a buffet and there are souls all over and say, "Oooh..."

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: "Ooh, are you some of that?" "Well, yeah, yeah." "That's very nice."

St. Mungo's

Andrew: Moving along, St. Mungo's. A hospital. Again, who would he kill?

Jamie: Again, it's just – you can't – why would you – it's a ridiculous place to hide it. It's filled with – A) it's filled with people.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: B) it's filled with healers; clever people.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: C) although it's – somehow people say it could be allied with Malfoy and evil, it doesn't matter. It's still a place with people.

Other Places

Andrew: Yeah. So, Jamie, is there one place on this list...

Jamie: With mixed agendas.

Andrew: Is there one place not on this list that you think a Horcrux could be?

Jamie: Yeah, it's somewhere that isn't a place...

Andrew: Remote? Secluded?

Jamie: Remote, secluded...

Greg and

Jamie: A cave.

Greg: Ohhh.

Jamie: A cave has no significance at all, which makes it perfect.

Micah: Well, it did to him, right?

Greg: Yeah.

Micah: I mean that was the whole point.

Jamie: Precisely. Exactly. It had significance to him. And Dumbledore said – you know, he found a chain out of nowhere in there. Obviously, secrecy – hidden, you know? These words are important to Voldemort, so...

Micah: Right.

Jamie: ...not only was it a place that no one would – in their wildest dreams would think of – you know, that he had one of his Horcruxes there. It was a place that, even if you went in and you weren't a very, very, very clever and intelligent person, you couldn't find it, anyway. So it's – he's not going to hide it in a hospital, or a prison, or a village, or a bank, or something like that where it's ridiculously vulnerable with all these people swarming around – clever wizards. And the Ministry of Magic is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. Yeah, if he's got a suicide wish then he'd hide it there, but it's just...

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: What about the orphanage?

Jamie: Well...

Greg: Well, that was kind of covered by the cave, wasn't it?

Micah: Yeah, they're tied.

Jamie: It is, but I think that's – but going back there, you know?

Andrew: Yeah, I was going to say...

Jamie: I don't know...

Andrew: ...why would he go back there? I mean, that's where...

Jamie: It's a different part of his life.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: I'd say he's moved on. He's a different person. And although the cave kind of disproves that, I think it just had significance. And it was a perfect location as well, so...

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: ...you know?

Andrew: All right, well – does anyone have any other ideas about that?

Micah: So, where are they, then?

Andrew: Or we'll move on... [laughs] So, where are they?

Jamie: Where are they? Well, one's probably in a...

Andrew: Cookie jar.

Jamie: ...abandoned coal bunker in the former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, so we're going to look for that when we do our podcast.

Andrew: But it just makes me wonder how Harry is going to find out where these Horcruxes are, if they are in such random locations.

Jamie: Well, he's going to have help. He's going to – it could be something that we don't know about, yet, because you know, he can't just – he can't just, you know, do a fingerprint dusting thing in all of these places and hope something comes up.

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: You know, it's – you can't – you can't just go looking for these things. You have to have outside knowledge of them, that Dumbledore had.

Greg: What about the Riddle House? He murdered his father and grandparents there, so that would be a significant place of some sort.

Jamie: Exactly, yeah. And it's a place that obviously holds secrets. You know, secrets are so important to these – to this story – the entire seven books.

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: And, you know...

Greg: Well, in the fourth book, he didn't stay there for no reason.

Jamie: Yeah. Exactly, yeah. It was...

Greg: I mean, maybe he stayed on at the Riddle House in the fourth book to check up on a Horcrux, or...

Jamie: Perhaps he did, yeah.

Greg: But he – yeah.

Jamie: It isn't just anywhere that he's going to hide parts of his soul. Andrew, I'll ask you again. If you could split your soul, and the – you know, you had to entrust it some – I mean, to somewhere or someone, the list of people would be very short that you'd give your soul to, wouldn't it?

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: And I imagine you're slightly – well, I hope you're slightly more trusting than Voldemort. So...

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: You know, it's ridicu - these places are just stupid.

Andrew: Would you give me one of your Horcruxes, Jamie?

Jamie: Oh, I'd give you anything...

Andrew: Awww...

Jamie: ...darling.

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