Leaky Mug #6 Transcript (continued)

Thanks to Leaky!


The Leaky Mug: New Year's Edition


JN: Ted plays on both sides of the field.

(SU Laughs)

AS: Ted with three numbers at GMail.

MA: I wrote him and said, "Thank you for not listening to PotterCast."

SU: Ohhh!

MA: (Laughing) I did!

AS: (Laughing) Ohhh.

MA: "I've been subscribed to MuggleCast since Episode Four. I wanted to subscribe to another podcast, so I subscribed to PotterCast. PotterCast is the worst and most boring podcast ever and MuggleCast is actually funny and interesting. Can't you improve your podcast? I've also noticed that MuggleCast is making fun of your podcast by saying, 'Our phone number actually has magic, as in the digits. Not some cheap "magik," with a K.' They are right! Your number is cheap and so is your podcast!"

(AS, KS and MA Laugh)

KS: Ooohhh!

MA: By the way! By the way, because you guys had to be such smarmy, smarmy guys and steal the number, we went and got a new number and it's actually...

JN: Yep!

MA: Did you find "Muggle?" I don't think so.

AS: We looked for Muggle!

MA: Yeah!

AS: I actually sat there and looked!

MA: And I looked for magic, with a C! Thank you!

AS: Well, we found it!

MA: Yeah, because Skype added. But you had to go look for "magic."

KS: But you haven't updated your site with it.

MA: I know. That's going to be fixed (Laughs) eventually.

AS: Okay.

JN: Nobody knows how to update sites.

KS: You're slow on updating, you're...no.

AS: (Laughing) Okay. Can I? Let me read this one email. You know, I've gotten a lot of crap in the past about this whole "Yeah" thing. So I'd just like to read this one. This one comes from Thomas. "Andrew, if you ever read this, I just wanted you to know. Your "yeahs" that you frequently say during the live MuggleCast/PotterCast started a trend in my high school! (MA Laughs) I started saying it in front of some of my friends and now everyone says it! So, that's pretty cool. You started a trend in a Michigan high school."

MA: That's got to be the most annoying and grating trend since the Macarena. (AS Laughs)

AS: Dear Michigan high school...

MA: ...since the Cabarichi's!

AS: ...I'd like to enroll!

KS: (Laughs) I'd like to enroll.

MA: You'd like to...

AS: Okay, now, I have another one that's from Vanessa, 15. This is sort of like an awkward thing from a New York City experience. (Starts to read fan letter) "I have a somewhat amusing story for you. This past Sunday, my family and I made a day trip to New York City. Because it's a four-hour ride, I listened to some of your Podcasts on the way, specifically the live Podcasts and the follow-up Leaky Mug. So we get to the city, and one of the first places we pass is the Barnes & Noble on Union Square. I was like, "Hey, that's where they have the live Podcast!" but as no one else in my family is as obsessed with Harry Potter, they really didn't care. So we get to the... oh no, I already read that! (Laughs) We kept walking around, and the next thing I know, we're at Grand Central Station. I had to cross the street, just like you and Ben to get to Melissa and John! (KS Laughs) I noticed this was weird, but I found it amusing. And then, we're walking around toward Fifth Avenue, when lo and behold we pass (Laughs) Burger Heaven! (Laughs)

JN: Yay!

AS: (Continuing letter) The Burger Heaven, I was so excited! It was at that moment I realized that I'd basically been stalking half the MuggleCast ...

SU: Yeah!

AS: ... around New York City. It ...

MA: Oh, it was a Leaky Mug tour!

AS: (Laughs) I know! We should start a tour. (Continuing letter) There's even a picture that my sister took (SU Laughs) of me in Times Square, right where you guys were. It was totally by accident! (KS Laughs) I love Burger Heaven, I miss Burger Heaven!

MA: (Laughs) Did anybody have a burger there?

AS: (Laughs) No!

JN: No.

KS: No, didn't two people have pizza burgers, but that's something else, anyway.

MA: Well, I... So that's the Leaky...

AS: So...

MA: So that's the Leaky Mug tour. We should start a bus, and you know? (AS Laughs) All our pictures on the side, like the Sex and the City tour!

AS: To your left is Burger Heaven!

JN: That would be hilarious!

MA: To your left, where Emerson Spartz ordered a (SU Laughs) marinara... (KS Laughs) So you guys aren't doing "Spy on Spartz any more, huh?

AS: We just put it on break.

KS: Occasionally, yeah.

AS: Yeah, occasionally.

MA: Man, it's such an exciting segment.

KS: People lost interest.

JN: Hey, where is Spartz right now, actually?, Let's spy on him. Yep, "Spy on Spartz." It says "He just hypnotized Dylan (MA and SU Laugh) it worked just like the book said it would." Oh!

AS: This what he does on his break. (Laughs)

MA: Wait...

AS: (Laughs) That's cool!

MA: Let's spy on Dylan for a second.

JN: Dylan says...

AS: No, don't distract him! He's already working on something for me! (Laughs)

JN: Ohhh!

AS: Ooops, I let the secret out! Oh! (Laughs)

JN: I see what's going on!

MA: What's he working on? A new layout, maybe?

AS: No comment!

JN: Here's what happens, you guys. The problem with MuggleNet is that they don't have enough layouts.

MA: Back in the ..

AS: (Laughs) It's not our layout for MuggleNet!

JN: Oh!

MA: It's a layout for AndrewSims.com!

(AS and KS Laugh)

MA: He didn't answer me. I think Emerson might have actually hypnotized him.

AS: No.

JN: I asked him if he wanted to join in and he said "Nah ...

AS: I'm talking about him right now!

JN: ... I don't want to over-expose my celebrity."

AS: Did he really say that?

MA: No!

JN: Yeah, minus the part about the celebrity!

MA: The over-exposure?

AS: (Laughs) Paraphrase!

JN: He didn't want to over-expose himself.

MA: I don't think anybody wants him to over-expose himself.

KS: Yeah!

MA: (Laughs) Maybe some people would, though!

JN: This is true!

MA: (Laughing) Moving on ...

JN: I could tell my Emerson story from the past few weeks ...

AS: No, we don't want to hear it.

JN: He would not be very pleased.

MA: Oh, Dylan says that he's not hypnotized. Sorry, Emerson. You failed!

KS: Well, you can say that Emerson visited your home two weeks ago.

MA: Oh my God, that's right!

JN: Yes, he did.

MA: John, (Laughs) you have to tell some of these stories!

(KS Laughs)

JN: Oh, no!

KS: What stories? I don't even know ...

MA: Oh.

AS: I can make assumptions ...

MA: You have no idea.

KS: Yes, you can guess.

AS: ...about stories, but I can't...

MA: John!

JN: No, nothing we could probably talk about!

MA: Nothing I have recorded anywhere, ever ...

AS: (Laughs) Let's play a quote from that now!

(MA Laughs)

JN: (Laughing) No! No, no!

MA: You and ...

KS: Roll clip, please!

MA: Roll tape!

JN: Actually, yeah... Let's totally play that clip.

(MA Laughs)

MA: No!

KS: Speaking of which... Melissa, did you hear what Ben said about video cameras in the hotel rooms? Ben said, "No video cameras in the hotel rooms (AS Laughs) in Las Vegas!"

MA: (Laughs) That's going to happen!

AS: (Laughs) Yeah! He said, "If I see any, I'm going to smash 'em!"

SU: Oh!

MA: Is Ben in a position to tell me what to do right now?

SU: No! (Laughs)

JN: The thing about Ben, he goes to the store and he buys all these candies and pixie sticks, and then he eats all the sugar and he goes crazy! That's what he's talking about.

MA: He does, yeah.

SU: Awesome!

MA: I'm biting my tongue so hard right now.

KS: Yeah, yeah. I can tell! (Laughs)

JN: He gets some sugar highs.

MA: Sue, you're quiet!

SU: I pers - well, yeah, I'm just like - you know - I'm (KS sighs) thinking about Vegas.

KS: Absorbing...

SU: Focusing on... You know, I was still thinking the other day about Petunia, and the update that Jo made. And, you know? So I'm all Potterhead.

JN: What about Petunia?

SU: Well, she's not going to be... She's not the one that's going to be doing magic!

MA: I think it's Filch.

SU: So ...

JN: Oh, We already know who it's going to be doing that.

SU: Well, who is it?

JN: Oh, it's... It's...

SU: Filch? Dudley?

JN: No.

MA: John's joke timer just ran out.

JN: No, Mrs. Figg.

SU: Mrs. Figg? Hmm.

MA: Or Filch.

JN: Or Mark Evans.

SU: Or Mark Evans, yeah! (Laughs)

MA: Or Mark Evans!

KS: Oh, yeah. Mark Evans!

(SU Laughs)

AS: We still get emails about that!

JN: Because he's one of the relatives of Lily.

SU: So cool. I don't know. So, still excited about Vegas. Can't wait. Cannot wait.

MA: Hey, we're boring tonight!

AS: I know!

MA: What's going on?

JN: We need a new thing to talk about.

MA: I know! That's the problem. Well, we can talk about Vegas.

KS: The year in review! (Laughs)

MA: Yeah! Well, Okay guys. What were some of your favorite Harry Potter moments from the past year?

AS: Half-Blood Prince!

JN: Let's talk about everybody... Yeah, Half-Blood Prince. Where was everybody at for Half-Blood Prince other than Melissa?

MA: What!

AS: We don't care where she was!

MA: I was...

JN: We know where you were, you can go last.

MA: ...I was at home.

AS: (Laughs) Oh, Okay. Do you want to hear my awesome story?

SU: Yeah!

AS: I stayed home to maintain MuggleNet that night.

KS: I didn't!

MA: Awww.

JN: OK, so...

AS: I didn't go to a midnight release.

KS: I said I was going to.

AS: Oh, yeah. Kevin did...

KS: I said I was going to. No, well, I did. I came home at, what? It was like one, two o'clock when I got back.

KS: In the morn... Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

KS: Yeah. But we did some stuff, and we didn't get recognized for it. (mocks crying)

AS: (Laughs) What are you talking about?

KS: I have no idea.

(AS Laughs)

JN: You should've worn an Emerson mask.

KS: All I remember is Warner Brothers calling us. That's all I remember.

JN: They did what now?

KS: Warner Brothers.

AS: It's all I remember is such a crazy night man. (Laughs)

MA: Warner Brother... Wait, Warner Brothers called you that night?

AS: Oh, yeah.

KS: Yeah. For, for what was it?

AS: It was the...

KS: For the mini-site?

AS: Yeah. For... It was actually Darren who called us about the mini-site thing that never happened for another month, two months.

KS: Yeah, Melissa. The night of the release of a new Harry Potter book, (MA and AS Laugh) they call us.

AS: (While Laughing) He's calling us...

(SU Laughs)

MA: They're like, "Can you post some stuff about our movie site?"

AS: Yeah.

MA: Yeah, sure. Because anybody's going to care right now.

KS: Yeah, exactly.

(SU Laughs)

AS: Well, that's exactly why. They knew we were getting so many visitors right now, they wanted a little bit of (Laughs) exposure.

MA: But they get none...

JN: Darren's all like...

AS: I like Darren, he's cool though.

JN: He's like, "Do me a favor and post some news, (AS, KS, MA and SU Laugh) and lose the attitude."

AS: (Laughs) Lose the tone... Ah, enough.

MA: I wonder if we could ever do a count... (To AS) No, are you kidding we had Emerson and Dylan doing that.

JN: Are you kidding, I am so tight right now with the whole Spartz family and Mr. Spartz gave me a "Lose the Tone" himself at McDonalds. (KS Laughs) He did.

SU: Wow.

MA: You're special.

AS: Why, what did you say? Were you like, was he like, "We'll give John a Happy Meal." And you were like, "No I want a quarter pounder."

JN: Exactly.

AS: And he was like, "Lose the tone."

(AS, JN, KS and SU Laugh)

JN: Yeah, know what, lose the tone. You'll eat your Happy Meal, and that's the end of it.

MA: He's going to listen to this. You're going to get a phone call.

AS: No, he's not.

KS: That's cool.

AS: Is he?

(KS Laughs)

KS: Yeah, call him up and ask him to give us a quote.

(AS Laughs)

JN: Do I have that number?

AS: No, please.

(KS Laughs)

JN: Let me look.

KS: I think I have it.

MA: I do, five, five, five...

(KS Laughs)

JN: Oh.

MA: ...eight, six...

AS: Yeah.

MA: ...oh, okay.

KS: That's what I think we should do and I've been suggesting it for a while.

MA: What.

KS: Emerson hangman. (MA Laughs) We give a digit of his phone number every week.

AS: Huh.

JN: Awesome.

MA: Wait, I'm going to call him.

(SU Laughs)

AS: The fourth digit is... eight.

JN: Oooo.

AS: Tune in next week ...(AS and KS Laugh).

KS: For the next digit in Emerson's phone number (Laughs).

JN: Wha, whaa, whaaaa.

MA: Hold on a sec.

AS: Any sixes? No, go fish.

KS: I have a couple of phone numbers for Emerson. I don't know what the hell they are.

JN: That's because he gives you fake ones.

KS: No, they're all 219's...

(SU Laughs)

JN: He doesn't want to talk to you.

KS: I have his cell phone number.

MA: What does it matter when he leaves it everywhere he goes?

KS: Yeah.

AS: It's true.

MA: I mean, for the love of God.

KS: He lets it die.

(Phone rings)

MA: Uh, oh...

KS: Oh.

MA: What's happening?

AS: Who're you calling?

(Phone rings)

Emerson Spartz (ES): What's up?

JN: Hey, who's this?

ES: Hello?

JN: Emerson.

ES: Yeah.

JN: You're on a Leaky Mug.

ES: Ahhh, I agreed to no such thing.

(AS, KS, MA and SU Laugh)

MA: It's on his contract. Hi, Emerson!

SU: Ohhh.

KS: Breach of contract.

ES: Are we recording right now?

JN: It is written in your contract, you must be around for all Leaky Mugs, (AS Laughs) now and forever.

(SU Laughs)

ES: Well, I already sailed after it, so...

JN: Oh, yeah?

MA: No, this one's coming out in 2006.

ES: Isn't there a stipulation that says that everyone I miss is a $100,000 fine or something?

JN: Oooh.

ES: (garbled)

JN: You're going to fine us $100,000?

ES: No, I'm mentioning a stipulation that says that if I miss a Leaky Mug.

JN: Ohhh.

MA: Oh, free IPod, free IPod...

JN: I misunderstood.

MA: ...Go for the free IPod.

(AS Laughs)

JN: How about a free IPod, instead?

ES: A free IPod for missing? Big deal.

MA: Oh, oh, oh. (AS Laughs) You give one to us.

JN: No, you have to give them to us. Actually, they all can hear you right now. They can, but you can't hear them.

AS: That's good, keep it that way.

ES: Why?

(AS and MA Laugh)

JN: I don't know.

AS: Emerson, you suck.

ES: Should I talk louder?!

JN: What?

ES: Should I talk louder?

JN: No, they, they can hear you fine (AS and KS Laugh). You just can't hear them.

KS: This is your chance to make fun of him, Melissa.

JN: We're actually trying to record an hour long show and we're falling on it.

MA: Of Emerson?

KS: Yes.

MA: Pick a topic and I'll make him...

KS: Right in front of him.

AS: I have a question. When is Emerson going to propose to Melissa?

MA: Might be around March.

JN: (to ES on phone) Andrew wants to know when are you going to propose to Melissa?

(AS Laughs)

ES: In Vegas.

(AS and KS Laughs)

MA: In Vegas. That's right.

KS: Good idea.

MA: We'll book the Elvis chapel.

JN: You can, you can do it then and seal the deal, right there.

ES: Exactly, I mean, tons of other people do it in Vegas, so I figured it's a pretty good place or something.

AS: The little chapel. (MA Laughs) One of those little chapels.

MA: Okay, yes. At the end of the live Podcast, we'll get Elvis in there and we'll have a ceremony.

(AS Laughs)

JN: He said, he said it'll only be $110. (AS Coughs) You know Emerson, he's on a budget.

MA: He's going to sing "Love Me Tender" at the end.

(JN and KS Laugh)

JN: (to ES on phone) Melissa wants you to sing love, "Love Me Tender" at the wedding. It'll be Harry Potter-themed. Everybody will have scarves.

(AS Laughs)

ES: Ah...

MA: He's going to end up singing the Notre Dame fight song. I know this.

(AS and KS Laugh)

JN: (to ES on phone) Melissa says you're not allowed to have them play the Notre Dame fight song.

MA: If one leprechaun shows up, you're sleeping on the couch, mister!

AS: (Laughing) Rather than where, Melissa?

ES: There goes my idea right down the crapper.

MA: Hey.

(AS, KS and SU Laugh)

JN: Well, they're all requesting you to sing one more round...

MA: No! No, No.

AS: No, no, no!

MA: God, no!

(ES begins to sing the Notre Dame fight song while everybody yells over him)

AS: No, we're not! No, no!

SU: Everybody plug your ears. No, no!

KS: I'm taking my headset off, right now!

SU: No, cause... Ahhh!

AS: Oh, shoot me. Hang up on him, hang up on him (Laughs).

(JN hangs up)

JN: (Laughs) Thanks, Emerson.

MA: Is he gone?

SU: Ahhh, no.

JN: Yeah. I had hang up on him. I didn't think he'd actually sing. (AS, MA and SU Laugh)

MA: Excellent.

SU: Ohhh.

MA: Oh, gosh.

JN: Thanks, Emerson for filling four minutes for us.

Click here to go to page three