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Lumos 2006: Las Vegas Transcript

JW Marriott

Las Vegas, Nevada (US)

July 29, 2006

Thanks to TLC and the MuggleNet transcribers for all their help!

Alex: Hey everybody, I missed you. We have a great crowd. [audience cheers] So, I want--I get the honor and privilege of introducing you to - oops, this mic stand - two of the coolest people I've ever met, and your hosts for the evening. John Noe and Mr. Benjamin Schoen!

[Audience cheers and yells]

Ben: This thing...

John: Hello! What's going on?

Ben: Hello?

John: Is yours working, Ben?

Ben: No.

John: [laughs] Ah well. All right. Try another one.

[Audience yells]

John: How about Alex and The Remus Lupins?

[Audience cheers and yells]

John: Thanks so much, dude. Sounds like a lot of fun. You got a mic yet dude?

Ben: Yeah.

John: There we are.

Ben: So...

John: Now we have Ben, awesome!

[Audience cheers]

Ben: Without further...

John: All right, well let's get the rest of the gang out here.

Ben: Yeah. So, without further ado, let's introduce our first set of panelists. Coming from Medford, New Jersey is Andrew Sims.

[Audience cheers and yells]

Andrew: Thank you.

John: And, of course, joining us as well, i everyone's favorite Hufflepuff, Sue Upton.

[Audience cheers and yells]

Ben: And everybody...

[Audience cheers and yells]

Ben: A Leaky Mug just isn't a LeakyMug without everybody's favorite Brit, who is still proud to be an American, Jamie Lawrence.

[Audience cheers and yells]

John: And, of course, Mr. MuggleNet himself - kiss him because he's Irish. He's Emerson Spartz.

[Audience cheers and yells]

Ben: [In a British accent] And now, Leaky's own Melissa Anelli!

[Audience cheers and yells]

Ben: Melissa Anelli.

[Audience cheers and yells]

John: Okay...[audience yells] Not our trio! My God, that can't be good. She left the trio. Okay...

[Reading] "Ben and Leaky Muggers cancel Podcast. Get out now. Wizard purists mad I let Muggles into Lumos. [audience laughs] Are chasing me down, but I hid at Starbucks. Don't think that anyone will think to look for me there. Might have time to go for a cappuccino. Get out before they get you. Tell John that...[mumbles] That doesn't look good. [audience laughs]

John: That Ė that doesnít look good.

[Audience laughs]

John: Oh. Who the...

Sue: Oh!

John: Who do you...

Auror: Calm down. Itís fine, itís fine.

John: What?

Auror: Everythingís fine. We found Melissa.

John: Oh! You found Melissa?

Sue: Where's Melissa? Melissa!

John: Where is she?

[Audience cheers]

John: Itís the Aurors!

[Audience claps]

Auror: Itís fine. Calm down. Everythingís under control. What I need you to do is stay calm, take a seat. Please keep the aisles clear. With your cooperation, for your own safety, please, remain in your seats.

John: What is going on?

Sue: What happened to Melissa?

John: Oh my...

Sue: No. We want her back! Whereís Melissa?

John: We canít...

Andrew: I don't know...

Ben: Voldemort canít stop us! Whoo!

[Audience screams]

Auror: What weíre going to do here, I hope youíre ready and youíre prepared, because these guys just donít have the kind of money to ship her back to New York.

Andrew: Hell no.

John: This is very true. Oh my gosh.

[Melissa screams]

John: What the hell? Was that...

Sue: What?

Auror: Please, stay in your seats. Itís fine. Sheís alright, sheís alright.

John: Oh my god! Melissa!

[Audience screams]

[Andrew laughs]

John: [laughs] What are they...

Death Eater: Itís all making sense to me now. Perhaps you recognize someone.

Melissa: Melissa from the Leaky Cauldron?

[Audience cheers]

John: Oh my god. Is she okay?

Sue: I hope sheís alright. Is she alright?

John: Are you okay, Melissa?

Death Eater: Better than...

John: No.

[Audience laughs]

John: My god.

Auror: We just want to make sure that Melissa's okay. Everyone wants to see if she's alright.

[Audience laughs]

John: Ugh.

Auror: Well, as you can see, your own friends failed to contact...

Death Eater: No!

[John laughs]

[Audience screams]

John: Oh yeah.

Death Eater:You forgot one little detail. We still have Melissa.

Andrew: Oooh.

John: Oooh.

Death Eater:But Iím a fair and reasonable wizard, so letís duel for it.

John: Whoa.

Everyone: Oooh.

A duel between the Auror and Death Eater ensues and the audio is very hard to make out.

Melissa: Thank you!

John: Yay! She's back.

[Audience cheers]

John: Melissa Anelli everybody!

Melissa: Man guys, let me tell you something about Death Eaters, they really like to play spin the wand.

John: Oooh.

[Audience "Ooohs"]

Melissa: I'm not kidding.

Sue: Melissa is freee.

[Audience laughs]

John: Well, now that we have the show back, let's get right on to it. Ben, what are we doing here first?

Ben: So guys, this whole Harry Potter Convention, we have people from all over the world. There is a lady here as far away as Australia.

[Audience cheers]

John: There she is.

Ben: I'm from Kansas. And I'm just curious what were some of your favorite parts about Lumos?

John: Yes, Lumos favorites.

Emerson: Did anybody see our thrilling Water Quidditch victory yesterday?

John: Oh yeah.

[Audience cheers]

John: That was fun. Oh my god, was that fun.

Andrew: I'm pretty sure a lot of people are upset with us now because we just came in there and won.

John: That's probably also true. Do we have Coach Pine out there somewhere?

Oh, there they are.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: They still continue.

John: There she is. Leader of Water Quidditch - interim Coach Pine, in her big hat over there. That was a lot of fun. What else did we all do this week, guys? It was so much fun.

Ben: Well, I heard a rumor that Harry and Draco showed up at the fan fiction discussion.

[Audience gasps]

Melissa: "slash" panel.

John: That's true.

Melissa: "slash" panel.

Andrew: Ooh.

Ben: And were tired of being shipped.

Sue: Who would that be?

John: Well, we didn't...

[Audience cheers]

John: I don't know. I've heard stories about that too.

Emerson: What are they talking about? What are they talking about?

John: I don't know. I've heard rumors that Harry and Draco were just tired of being shipped and they decided to set the record straight, but I don't know that might come online at some point - a short video of that.

Audience Member: Moaning Myrtle.

[Audience laughs]

John: Moaning Myrtle will be shipped with anyone. She doesn't care.

Ben: But overall, I think the convention has been a success. We've had round table discussions and keynotes on everything from Snape being good or bad, to the wonderful podcasting discussion that we went to the other morning.

Melissa: Yeah, those were good.

Ben: And so props to those who have been organizing this and putting Lumos together. I think it's been a success.

John: Oh, absolutely.

[Audience cheers]

Andrew: Round of applause for them.

John: Absolutely.

[The crowd applauds]

John: This was my first convention. My first Harry Potter convention, my first anything convention, so I had no idea what to expect out of this, and it was - I had so much fun. I wish it could go on for days and days longer. [laughs] But actually, I don't know how many of you are hopping on a plane tomorrow to head somewhere else where we could be doing something like this. I think our favorite author might be coming somewhere.

[Audience cheers]

John: How many people are meeting us out there?

[Audience cheers]

John: Awesome. Awesome, these fans. [laughs] Well, why don't we do our own little cannon discussion here.

Melissa: A cannon conundrum?

John: Can we hear everybody? Everybody's mics working?

Andrew: Test. Test.

Emerson: No.

Melissa: Hello?

Jamie: For god's sake!

John: Somebody cut off Emerson's mic, and I didn't even pay them to do that.

[Audience cheers]

Ben: Well, ever since...

John: What's that?

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Ever since the interview with Richard and Judy a few weeks back or a month or so. Whenever it was. The whole media has gone crazy about whether Harry is going to live or die, and of course they have to continue to say that J.K. Rowling is going to kill off her beloved Harry Potter...

John: Wrong.

Ben: So, we thought that it would make sense if we discussed that here. Whether Harry is going to live or die.

Emerson: I just wanted to add one thing. My main role here, just to be obnoxious and overly to the point, I have something.

[Audience cheers]

Melissa: So, Emerson, it's just basically no change.

Emerson: Yeah, Melissa and I actually agree on this too.

[The crowd laughs]

John: Regular Emerson.

Emerson: Something interesting happened when Melissa and I were at the...

Melissa: He keeps telling this story, no! This is my story!

Emerson: This is not your story!

Melissa: I'm the one who asked the question!

Emerson: You were not!

Melissa: Shut your mouth! I asked this question.

[Audience laughs]

Emerson: Blah blah blah. So anyway, when we were at the event in Naperville...

Melissa: He keeps telling this story.

Emerson: At the event in Naperville about a week ago...

Melissa: He's a child.

[Everyone laughs]

Emerson: ...we were getting ready to go on stage at the book store, and we were talking to the lady who owns the book store, or who works at the bookstore, and she said that when J.K. Rowling came to visit the first time years ago, before she was really famous, somebody asked her - and this is not online yet, so you guys are all in the know as far as this. So, she told us that a fan asked her if Harry, Ron, and Hermione would live through the series, and she said yes.

[The crowd cheers very loudly]

Melissa: There you go.

Emerson: So, as far as I'm concerned, we can just change the topic.

Melissa: So, we can all leave now, right?

Ben: Well...

Melissa: We're done. Good. you guys are good?

Emerson: Yeah.

John: I believe it.

Ben: Well, all right.

John: That ends that discussion pretty quick, eh?

Ben: I hate to be a naysayer, but Emerson's wrong.

[Audience cheers]

Ben: I really think that whenever you're having a wizarding war, or any kind of war, there's always going to be casualties. So, it doesn't make sense for the two closest people to Harry to make it through the entire thing, so I think it's worth discussing.

Melissa: It makes perfect sense. You know why?

John: Well, how many of the Leaky Mug crew are on which side of the fence. How many of us think that - I think he'll live. How about you guys? Raise your hands. Live?

Sue: Live, baby!

Melissa: Live!

[The crowd cheers]

John: Guys? Andrew, Ben, you're on the die?

Ben: I'm on the die side.

Andrew: Here's the reason. We talked about this on MuggleCast. No, I'm on the bad side too.

Melissa: Oh my god! Get out of here!

[Audience cheers]

Andrew: [laughs] Actually, first, before we continue, I just wanted to point out that we are streaming this live to the Internet right now, so say hello to the world.

[Audience cheers and says, "Hi"]

Melissa: Or the 150 to 250 who can listen.

Andrew: It's more than that. We upped it. I lied, so. It's quite a few hundred people.

MCFC Audience Members: We love you Edward!

John: [laughs] We have a lot of Edward fans here as well.

Ben: My question is though, why is it always the case that the hero has to survive? Why canít the hero ever die?

Melissa: The hero does die in plenty of stuff.

John: I think the hero could die.

Ben: Why not in Harry Potter?

Melissa: Because itís Harry Potter, and heís going to live. So, thatís it.

[Audience cheers]

Emerson: Hello? Hello?

Melissa: No, heís going to live.

Sue: Itís called "The boy who lived," not "The boy who died."

[Audience cheers]

Andrew: Sue, Sue Upton. The boy who lived when Voldemort initially cast the spell on him. This is different now, this is the present.

Melissa: Thatís a really long chapter title.

Sue: The boy who lived. LIVED.

Andrew: The boy who lived, yes. The boy who lived. Itís past, past. It's present now! I know, but, because I heard you bring this up on PotterCast. Itís the boy who lived in Chapter 1.

[Audience cheers]

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Weíre past that now. Weíre in Book 7. This is ten years later. Well, almost ten years.

Melissa: Itís called coming full-circle. Thatís the first chapter of the entire series. Maybe it will be the last chapter of the entire series. But then again, the boy who lived is in the past tense. But, no, heís going to live. Why is he going to live?

Emerson: J.K. Rowling said so.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Melissa: Because heís going to live.

[Audience cheers]

Ben: Okay, raise your hand if you think Harryís going to die.

Andrew: Thank you.

Ben: Wait, is this dying?

[Crowd boos]

Melissa: Boo!

John: Nooo!

Emerson: You're all wrong.

Ben: Honestly though, Jo has always been realistic about the casualties of war, beginning with the axing of Cedric in Book 4, and then donít you think it makes sense for Harry to sacrifice himself to save the world?

Melissa: No.

John: No.

[Audience chants "Nooo!"]

Melissa: No, he can just save the world.

John: Of course not.

Sue: Oh, Ben.

Audience Member: I can see that Harry die!

Melissa: Booo!

[Audience boos]

Andrew: Security!

John: Who let Trelawney in here? I thought she was on the blacklist.

Melissa: Trelawney you're a fraud anyway, so that's okay.

[Audience laughs]

Ben: However, something interesting to point out, MuggleNetís own Jamie Lawrence said, if Harry does die, heís going to eat 50 jumbo sausages, and video tape it. You still planning on doing that, Jamie?

Jamie: Yeah. So he canít die.

Melissa: Hear that Jo?

Jamie: For the sake of my figure, he canít die.

[Audience laughs]

Ben: This is sort of part of the same discussion, but everyoneís pretty sure Voldemortís going to die, right?

John: Oh, yeah. Of course.

Ben: Wouldnít it be cool for the evil side to win? I mean, just once?

Melissa: Who are you, Ben Schoen? Not cool.

Audience Member: Whos is a fire hazard?

Melissa: Whoís a fire hazard?

Audience: Voldemort!

Melissa: Therefore, he must go. Killing Muggles, killing Harryís parents, breaking building code violations.

[Audience cheers]

Melissa: That means death.

John: Well, okay, we think Voldemortís going to die. How do we think thatís even going to happen? I mean, do we really think Harryís strong enough to fight Voldemort yet?

Ben: The Horcri.

John: Really? Yeah. Well, we know that heís got something that nobody else has, this power Voldemort doesnít know. What is the power, anyway? Love? How do you use love to kill somebody? A big hug and a kiss? I feel like weíre playing The Price is Right here, a little bit. The Carebear stare, I like that.

[Audience cheers]

John: Thatís good. Voldemort hates the Carebears, itís true. What do you guys think?

Melissa: About what?

John: How can somebody use love to kill somebody or to vanquish somebody?

Ben: Send them a Valentine.

John: Or vanquish? Because the word was vanquish, wasn't it?

Melissa: So, Ginny's going to do it? What is it you said on PotterCast? So, what was it you said on PotterCast?

John: What about PotterCast?

Melissa: You give him a hug, you pat on the back?

John: Yeah, give him a little pat on the bum. Send him on his way.

Melissa: Great game. We're done.

John: Yeah, that's all it takes. It's either that or if Voldemort is so disgusted by love, Harry could bring his new girlfriend Ginny up and start kissing her.

[Audience cheers]

John: And if they kiss long enough, he'll melt to the ground and turn into a pile of goo, and that will be the end of the story? You think?

Melissa: A pile of goo?

John: Yeah.

Melissa: Melting?

[Alex plays the piano]

[Audience laughs]

John: You disagree Alex.

[Alex plays the piano again]

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: How about another round of applause for Alex for that awesome pre-show that he put on?

[Audience cheers]

Melissa: I heard you guys screaming - all the way over in Death Eater Camp I heard you guys screaming for Alex. I thought Jo had entered the building. Nice, Alex.

[John laughs]

John: Yeah. So, are we at least in agreement that the power that Voldemort knows not is Harry's capacity to love?

Melissa: Yes.

John: Or to be compassionate. No one disagrees with that?

Andrew: No.

Sue: No.

John: Because then it would actually be easier to actually have an argument if somebody disagreed with that.

Melissa: Sorry.

Sue: Sorry.

[Audience laughs]

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