FWVWD Contest -
Complete List


Below is a COMPLETE list of the top 72 humorous ways that Voldemort will probably not be killed in the books, as submitted by our wonderful fans! The contest gathered 630 entries, and exactly 14,100 people voted before the contest was closed. Thanks to ALL who voted and congratulations are especially in order to the top three! They will receive prizes and will be announced during Episode 11 of MuggleCast. Enjoy, everyone!



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Funny Way Voldemort Won't Die
Suggested By
1
***News Flash*** He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was found smothered under a buffalo yesterday. Apparently, Voldemort (yes, since he's dead we'll name him) was a bit lax on his spell pronunciations, and like the Wizard Baruffio said 's' instead of 'f' and found himself on the floor with a buffalo on his chest. However, since Voldemort was not found for 7 days, he suffocated. The buffalo is now being hailed as "The beast who sat."
Cristin
2
Put him on a blind date with Umbridge.
Moldy
3
Play tug of war with him with the Veil in the middle. Let Grawp pull on your side.
Tim
4
Put him in a room full of Carebears all doing the Carebear stare. The cuteness would be too much for him.
Ana
5
To kill him with the power of love, Harry must lure him to the side of a campfire, while all the Hogwarts students join hands in a huge circle around him as they all sway and sing kum-bay-ya.
Heather
6
He heads over to the Dursley's house after Harry's protection runs out to hunt Harry down. He enters the kitchen where he is immediately bludgeoned to death by a soapy frying pan wielded by Aunt Petunia, who has gone mad at seeing the dirt he tracked in to her spotless house.
Dustin
7
Take some Felix Felicis and challenge him to a game of Russian Roulette.
Jason
8
Make him workout with Richard Simmons for all eternity.
Kevin
9
Give him a love-flavored Bertie Botts Bean.
Nicole
10
Chain him to the floor in the school hallway and ring the lunch bell.
Mel
11
By inadvertently combining Pepsi and pop-rocks.
Dan
12
Send him a Howler that, when opened (or Ignored) yells out, Avada Kedavra!
Nessa
13
Get Melissa's (from PotterCast's) family to go and whack him.
Sam
14
Place a life-size cardboard cut-out of Dumbledore next to his bed while he's sleeping, so that it's the first thing he sees when he wakes up.
Maggie
15
2 words: Rocket. Launcher.
Stephanie
16
Put him at the front of the line for Goblet of Fire. When they say “go in”, he will be trampled by all the 14 year old girls going "Ronald Weasley, Come and Please me!"
Josh
17
Have J.K. Rowling takes all her profits from the book out in sequential 1 pound notes, and drop them on top of Voldemort. Millions of pounds of Harry love, baby!
Will
18
Drop a Vanishing Cabinet into the middle of the Pacific Ocean, push him into the other one, and then destroy it.
Sara
19
Transfigure his head into a head of lettuce and then feed him to a flobberworm.
Melissa
20
Send him Christmas shopping the morning after Thanksgiving.
Caitlin
21
Throw him in the middle of a Mosh Pit during a Weird Sisters Concert.
Ana
22
Wait until his bladder is full and take him to a Running Water Convention.
Joe
23
Make him work in retail with the worst and most evil customers ever.
Dee
24
Transfigure him into a fire hydrant and then have Fluffy come in (Accio Fluffy) and then have Fluffy “do his business”
Daniel
25
Have the Bride from “Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2” kill him with her Hatori Hanzo Sword.
Rosemary
26
Using the Imperius Curse, force him to drink Polyjuice Potion to change him into the one and only Mr. Emerson Spartz and then (still using the Imperius Curse) have him call a room full of Harry/Hermione shippers 'delusional'.
Hilary Klein
27
"Voldemort and Harry are facing off in their final duel, all the Horcruxes are destroyed and Voldemort in now mortal. Suddenly out of nowhere an SUV appears and runs over Voldemort, crushing him. Ginny gets out of the SUV and goes "That was easy!" So basically, "Voldemort ran over by an SUV"
supersuineg (d69)
28
Give Voldemort a very powerful love potion that makes him fall in love with a horde of stampeding rhinos or an extra carnivorous T-rex (or something of that sort)
Jonah
29
Harry will tie Voldemort to train tracks on the set of an old Western movie in Lone Pine, California, and will be run over by the Hogwarts Express.
Meagan
30
Lock Voldemort in a room 100 stories high and play recordings of Harry/Voldemort slash fan fiction through the loud speaker. Every once and a while stop the recordings and as soon as Voldy is feeling safe and sane, started it up again louder.
Amy
31
Send a Trojan Snake filled with members of the Order into a Death Eater meeting.
Mykela
32
Lavender Brown snogs Voldemort (or "Vol-Vol" as she calls him) to death.
Scott
33
Hide his plans of world domination in a computer folder entitled "Topless photos of Wormtail."
Rochelle
34
Feed him my mom's cooking.
LoRdVaDeR
35
Dress Voldemort up as a teddy bear and give him to Paris Hilton as a pet.
Mark
36
Voldemort gets signed up for Oprah, goes on the show and dies while hearing a three hour lecture about his abusive and controlling attitude toward people.
Tim
37
Slip the Dark Lord a lethal dose of U-No-Poo:
You-Know-Who + U-No-Poo = You-No-Phew
Telyn
38
Make him eat his wand.
The Yew plant contains several potentially fatal toxins.
Kellee
39
Chain Voldemort in a dungeon (charmed unbreakable etc), and serve him only Hagrid’s Cooking. He'll either:
a) Let himself starve to death.
b) Have his teeth glued together by Hagrid’s Treacle Fudge and be unable to eat anything else anyway.
c) Die of some sort of food poisoning or allergy.
Marama
40
Soak his clothes in meat, and let loose Hungry, Untrained Thestrals.
Elri
41
Harry will transfigure Voldy into a rubber duck and hand him over to Arthur Weasley!
Rose
42
Send him the cursed necklace as a Christmas present
Christine
43
Force him to watch Disney sequels such as Pocahontas 2 and Cinderella 2
Mandi
44
Turned into a collector's doll and given to a toddler...
Celia
45
Find him a girlfriend.
Spencer
46
Put him in an insult giving/shouting contest with the portrait of Mrs. Black.
Josh
47
By drowning on the sinking ship of H/Hr...
Emily
48
Mrs. Longbottom (Neville’s Gran) attacks him with her big red purse.
Noor
49
Throw Voldemort in a pit full of fully grown Blast-Ended Skrewts, Hairy MacBoons (Quintapeds), Nundus, Manticores, Lethifolds, Antipodean Opaleyes (first type of dragon), Chinese Fireballs, Common Welsh Greens, Hebridean Blacks, Hungarian Horntails, Norwegian Ridgebacks, Peruvian Vipertooths, Romanian Longhorns, Swedish Short-snouts, Ukrainian Ironbellys, Chimaeras, Basilisks, and Acromantulas, after taking away his wand. [Every dangerous animal in Fantastic Beasts!]
Travis
50
Percy Weasley, Vernon and Dudley Dursley assemble a boy band and sing along to Nsync's "Tearing up my heart" with dance routine wearing mini skirts and halter tops.
Lauren
51
Find him a girlfriend.
Spencer
52
Stun him, gag him and then put him on the "It's A Small World" ride at Disneyland for all eternity.
Muggleharte
53
Harry could stand in the middle of the street waiting for the final fight. When Voldemort shows up, Harry would raise his wand to hail the Knight Bus, and roll out of the way as the bus creams Voldemort.
Josh
54
A gun, duh.
Scott
55
Smack him with the Book 1 - 6 Collection Box!
Johan
56
He becomes so infatuated and hypnotized with his red snake eyes that he drowns in his own pensieve reflection.
Sable
57
He will be forced by Zaphod Beeblebrox to sit through a prolonged reading of Vogon Poetry.
Joseph
58
Force Voldy to listen to my sister sing in the shower!
Patrick
59
Infect him with a lethal strain of Saturday night fever.
Mary
60
Kill Voldemort by giving him Ton-Tongue toffee and stab his tounge with Gryffindor's sword.
Peter
61
Make Voldemort listen to Ben's fake English accent
Jay
62
Make him play ice hockey with a whole bunch of angry Canadians.
Tara
63
Hire Rita Skeeter, potioned into loving Voldemort, to be his official publicist.
Isia
64
Tell him to follow the spiders.
Mike
65
Have him invite Eric to one of the Death Eater discussion meetings.
Em
66
It'll be the killer rabbit from Monty Python.
Michael
67
Harry performs the extremely difficult "Anvilius Conjurius" spell which drops a 500 pound anvil on Voldemort's head a la Loony Tunes.
Kevin
68
Have him walk in the "tough" neighborhood blasting Vanilla Ice.
???
69
Make him listen to "Tiny Tim's Greatest Hits" over and over...(how many times can one man (?) hear "Tiptoe through the Tulips" without imploding?)
Liz
70
Trap Voldemort in the Sahara Desert with William Hug singing his hit 'She Bangs'.
Matthew
71
Make Voldemort succomb to the consequences of high blood pressure by making him read the entries to this contest.
Yue
 


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