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PoA Christmas Song Parodies Competition
To the tune of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Submitted by Marita
Bark! The Bulldog, Ripper, snarls,
"Deflate my poor, old Aunt Marge!"
She may be surly, meddling and rude,
But she provides me with food!
If I could I’d beg on my knees;
Who will pay my high vet’s fees?
Harry please, I'm lost without her;
I’ll have to stay with Colonel Fubster!
Bark! The Bulldog, Ripper, snarls,
"Please deflate poor, old Aunt Marge!"
I know she made a big mistake,
But now she’s gone, my heart will break.
I will pine and feel despair,
She’s no good to me up there!
Please listen to man’s best friend;
Bring this suffering to an end!
I know you have cause to moan,
But I have problems of my own!
Bark The Bulldog, Ripper, calls,
"Stop her bouncing off the walls!"
"She’s as terror!" you may think,
But she was under the influence of drink.
While at home she’s very giving;
She’s the one that keeps me living.
In the mornings we go for walks;
And I’d miss her motherly talks.
The spell’s so bad it’s become a dog’s dinner;
So please stop and make her (a little) thinner!
Bark! The Bulldog, Ripper, cries,
"Bring down Aunt Marge from the skies!"
Submitted by Alison
What man is this who does not rest,
From Azkaban prison running?
They say he did as the Dark Lord bid,
With plans of murderous cunning.
This, this is Sirius Black.
He was is prison but now he's back.
Haste, haste to track him down,
This man, the godfather of Harry.
Why does he come with violent rage,
To enter Gryffindor tower?
Now Harry fears for dementors did hear,
Black whispering at a late hour.
"Hogwarts is where he's found,"
In darkness deep Black's lips did sound.
Dementors will track him down,
This man, the godfather of Harry.
"Now I will kill him," Harry says,
"Avenging my parents murder."
But still he stands with his wand in hand,
Remembering how he had heard her.
"Not Harry," his mother cried,
In anguished tones the night she died.
Now, now the time has come,
To kill the godfather of Harry.
But could it be it is not he,
Who slayed both wizard and Muggle?
For Harry knew Peter Pettigrew,
Was murdered by Black in a struggle.
Look, look, will Harry see,
This Pettigrew alive and free?
This, this is the murderer, then,
And not the godfather of Harry.
So bring him Buckbeak the hippogriff,
To freedom he soon will be flying.
For without this the dementor's kiss,
Would leave him a fate worse than dying.
"I promise to see you soon,"
Black said to Harry beneath the moon.
Love, love was in his heart.
This man, the godfather of Harry.
To the tune of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”
submitted by London
The clock within the tower
Chimed at ten o’clock.
"Remember you must not be seen
Or else it’s all for naught.
Two lives can be saved tonight
Please keep that in mind.
Ms. Granger, three should be good,
No more than that.
Three turns should do the trick."
Outside of Hagrid’s hut
Is quite a sad scene.
The hippogriff named Buckbeak
Lay ready for his fate.
For he is sentenced to death
By beheading.
Maybe he’s to be saved this night,
Who else is there?
Maybe he is to be saved this night.
Within the tallest tower
Lay Sirius Black.
The infamous Prisoner
Of Azkaban
He’s to be given the Kiss
By the Dementors.
What a fate to be given to him,
Oh woe is he,
What a fate to be given to him.
And now here comes the wicked part
Of how this all fits in.
Harry and Hermione
Come barging within
Riding on the back of Buckbeak,
They save the day,
Now Sirius and Buckbeak can go.
Into the night,
Now Sirius and Buckbeak can go.
Now Harry and Sirius
Have a heart to heart
About what the future holds.
And what took place,
“You truly are your father’s son
He would have done the same
Why did it have to happen to him?
I’ll kill the rat!
Why did it have to happen to him?”
That they had to go.
With one quick slap on Buckbeak’s rump,
Sirius took to the sky.
And Harry and ’Mione
Ran back inside
To Ron and his broken leg
In the Hospital,
To Ron and his broken leg.
Poor Ron he didn’t know
What just had happened.
He saw his friends right there
But then they disappeared.
“But, you were just here!
And now you're there! What’s going on?”
“How can someone be at two points at once?
That’s just not right!
How can someone be at two points at once?”
To the tune of "Deck the Halls"
Submitted by Tiffany
Harry Potter, a young wizard,
Wishes he could leave the Dursley's home.
Then one day he gets real angry,
And he blows up his fat Aunt Marge.
Off he runs and meets the Knight Bus.
That delivers him to the Leaky Cauldron.
Here he learns that he is wanted,
By an evil man name Sirius Black.
On his way to Hogwarts School,
He sees a dementor on the train.
Professor Lupin helps him out,
Giving him some chocolate to warm up.
Back at school he feels much safer,
There’s no way he could be hurt now.
Still he learns to fight the dementors,
And Lupin teaches him "Expecto patronum"
Soon he learns about Sirius’ past,
And how helped sell the Potters out.
He’d betrayed his two best friends,
And Harry couldn't wait to call him out.
But first he must deal with his own life,
Hermione and Ron are fighting now.
Her orange cat whose name is Crookshanks,
Has eaten up Ron's old pet rat.
Then their giant friend Hagrid,
Is sad because his Beaky lost.
They sneak down to cheer him up,
Under the cloak of invisibility.
On their way back to the school,
Scabbers gets loose and runs from Ron.
Then appears a black shaggy dog,
Who drags Ronald off into a hole.
Harry and Hermione follow,
After learning how to pass the willow.
When they reach the Shrieking Shack,
They learn the shaggy dog was Sirius Black.
Lupin enters shortly after,
And talks to Sirius about the rat.
Scabbers is not a real rat,
But a fat man named Peter Pettigrew.
Peter is the real betrayer,
He told You-Know-Who where the Potters were.
Harry agrees to turn him in,
So that he may clear Sirius’ name.
Off the group goes back toward school,
But the clouds shift and the moon is full.
Lupin turns into a werewolf,
Sirius chases him into the woods.
Pettigrew turns back to rat,
And escapes again in nothing flat.
Sirius is surrounded by dementors,
Harry sees a patronus across the way.
Snape comes to and binds Black up,
He takes them all back to the castle.
Harry wakes up in the sick ward,
And learns about Hermiones secret.
Dumbledore tells them three hours,
And they fly back in time til then.
Hiding out they see themselves,
And all of the events they lived that day.
In the woods they wait with Buckbeak,
Watching the hole for themselves to appear.
Harry watches Sirius get surrounded,
Then bellows out "Expecto patronum".
There they wait for Snape to wake,
And take them all back inside.
Then they fly up to the window,
Where Sirius awaits his fate in fright.
Harry saves his godfather's life,
Giving him Buckbeak to escape.
Running quickly they return,
To the hospital before they’re missed.
Snape is angry now at Harry,
He thinks that the boy helped Black escape.
Hagrid's cheerful with the three,
He doesn't know that they let Buckbeak free.
Harry's blue as Lupin leaves,
But he’s afraid he might hurt a kid.
On the train they head back home,
Ancipating their summer plans.
Harry Potter a young wizard,
Wishes he could leave the Dursley's home...
To the tune of "Winter Wonderland"
submitted by Kati
Here they come,
Are you listening?
On the grounds,
They float there, hissing.
A spooky sight,
We can’t feel happiness tonight,
Beware of their soul sucking kiss!
At the Quidditch game,
All was well.
But when they came,
Off his broom Harry fell.
His broom got smashed,
The team got trashed,
’Cause Cedric caught the snitch fair and square!
Harry didn't know,
What to do.
So he went to Lupin,
For a clue.
He taught him the Patronus Charm,
So he’d be armed,
To fight the dementors at the next match!
At the lake they came a swarming;
Looking for the infamous Sirius Black.
They were coming to do some harming;
To suck his soul and never give it back!
Now Harry could feel,
That his soul was going.
But Harry 2,
Was across the lake knowing.
That he would perform,
The Patronus Charm,
That would save his and Sirius’ lives!
Then to the castle,
They did sneak.
To get Sirius,
To ride away with Buckbeak.
The time turner saved the day,
Now alive they all will stay,
Well...for now, to see another day!
To the tune of "The Holly and the Ivy"
Submitted by Alessandra C.
Oh, the prisoner of Azkaban,
A crazy man named Black,
Of all the wizards sent to jail
He alone came back.
CHORUS:
The dementors were so angry,
On the lookout everywhere.
The Ministry put posters of him
To make wizards aware.
At the Dursley’s one fine day
Aunt Marge arrived to sup,
She kept insulting Harry’s parents,
So the boy became fed up.
By involuntary magic,
He made auntie blow up.
He then escaped from the Dursley’s,
Later, the Knight Bus came up.
CHORUS
While on the train to Hogwarts,
When all the lights went out,
A dementor came in and Harry fainted,
But Lupin threw it out.
CHORUS
Once Harry and his friends
Were safely back at school,
They didn’t know just who Black was
And thought him cruel and a fool.
CHORUS
Then inside the Shrieking Shack
Pettigrew was unmasked.
With the time-turner they went back,
And two innocent lives were saved.
CHORUS
Oh, the prisoner of Azkaban,
An innocent named Black.
He goes find a hiding place,
And he doesn’t leave a track.
The dementors were so angry,
They all wanted to kiss Black.
The Minister of Magic dismissed ’em,
And to Azkaban were sent back.
To the tune of "We Three Kings"
submitted by Ellen D.
We four boys of mischief-filled minds;
Use this map when we're in a bind.
Here and there, we cause trouble everywhere;
Leaving our pranks to find.
O, map of secrets, map disguised,
Everyone before our eyes.
What they're doing, where they're going,
This map of Hogwarts is our guide.
Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs;
With this map do all sorts of wrongs.
Sneaking to Hogsmeade, hexing, Snivellus;
Time spent in detention is long.
O, map of secrets, map disguised,
Everyone before our eyes.
What they're doing, where they're going,
This map of Hogwarts is our guide.
Under Prong’s invisible cloak;
We cause trouble and play lots of jokes.
Making mischief, staying out too late;
We've become Hogwarts hoax.
For the Honorable Mentions, click here.
 
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