Snape's Profession

To the tune of Dentist by The Little Shop of Horrors

When I was young and just a bad little kid.
My mama noticed funny things I did.
Like shooting half-bloods with a stunning spell.
I'd poison pixies, it's fun, I can tell,
I'd find a pussycat and jinxed it's head,
Thats when my mama said,

(Pupils)
What did she say?

She said, my boy I think some day,
You'll find a way,
To make your natural tendencies pay.

(Chorus)
You'll be a teacher. (He'll be a teacher)
You have a talent for causing great pain.
Son be a teacher. (He'll a teacher)
People will pay you to be inhumane. (Inhumane)
Your temperament's wrong for the ministry.

Son be a teacher, you'll be a success.

(Pupils)
Here he is folks, the master of potions,
Watch him suck up that fumes, oh my god.
He's a teacher and he'll never ever be any good.

(Neville) Oh that's wrong. Wait, I can fix it.

Ah shut up, where's your toad, we will try.

I am your teacher,
And I enjoy the career that I picked. (Love it)
I'm your teacher, and I get off on the pain I exert. (Really love it)
I thrill when I take points off of houses, (Not fair)
And swell when they tell me I'm mal-adjusted. (Brain-sick)
And though it may cause my pupils to stress. (To stress)
Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me, I know, I know
That my mamas proud of me.
(Spoken)"Oh mama"
Cause I'm a teacher, and a success.

(Spoken)
Say exam!
"Ah"
Say test!
"Ah"
Say exam!
"Ah"

Now quiet!

Submitted by Tina Jedamczik